trauma

Aug

2021

How to Conquer Your Fear

Reading Time: 3 minutes

How do you conquer your fear? Technology has brought us many conveniences in life. It has also enabled more people to be aware of more things that they can both enjoy or fear from. The types of news we often hear from our TVs or online don’t help the situation either.

Fear is a serious issue that many of us are facing today. Some people are worrying so much that they have developed anxieties, panic attacks, even depression. Some fears stem from traumatic events and have become phobias. No matter what your fears are, living with it is not the purpose of your life. Taking steps to conquer it and be free from fear eventually, is the only way you can live a more comfortable, fulfilled life.

Here are some tips on how you can start to conquer your fear, big or small.

1. Acknowledge Your Fears

Unless you first identify your fears, you won’t be able to take steps to manage it. So ask yourself: What is it that I am always worried about? What is the worst-case scenario that I fear happening? What do I keep avoiding the most? Of course, if you have already been diagnosed with a particular phobia, then you already have your answer. Sit with your fear for 2-3 minutes if you have to. Practice mindfulness so you can better identify what triggers your fears as you go about your daily life.

2. Breathe Thru Your Panic

Realizing your fears often results in you being in a state of panic or being paralyzed into inaction. Either way, the first thing to keep in mind is to breathe deeply to calm yourself down. Several things will be happening to your body, to your emotions and even your thoughts all at once. But remain focused on your breathing until you reduce the jitters and you can think and speak clearly. Try meditation so you can practice breathing to calm yourself. Learn more about having the proper mindset in times of crisis to help you manage your anxieties.

3. Visualize the Positive

One way to help you cope with your fear is to visualize the positive side of things. Fear comes from a specific part of the brain. So use a different part of your brain to cancel that signal. Use your imagination to your advantage. Visualize yourself enjoying your life without your fear. Try to use the magic shop technique. What will happen if your are free from your fear? What will you do if you do not fear xxx? A bucket list or a vision board is a helpful way to do this. These tools also help you develop a more positive mindset.

4. Use Humor and Nature as Your Therapist

We all know that laughter and being with nature can help us feel better. In the same way, putting a dose of humor to our imagined worst case scenarios somehow reduces its negative effects in our mind and even emotions. You can do this by talking to your close friends and family members or watching a funny movie together or by yourself. Spending time with nature is also a great way to keep your mind off your worries, anxieties and fears. Take a walk in nature with a close friend. You can consider nature as an extension of you safe space. Don’t think of your fears and focus on the beautiful scenery, the fresh air and the calm surroundings instead.

5. Don’t Try to Be Perfect

The best way to conquer your fear is to do it gradually. Stop trying to be perfect. Do not expect to be free from your fear after one therapy session, for example. Be gentle with your self. Be kind to your self. Freeing yourself from fear is a healing process which takes time, effort and patience on your part as well as courage to keep trying. So lean in to your fears once in a while just to test the waters. Don’t try to avoid it but have supportive people with you who can help you cope. This way, you can measure your progress and learn more about how you can manage your fear.

While you’re trying to conquer your fear one day at a time, don’t forget to love yourself, be grateful for your blessings, to have fun, to keep believing in your self, to not give up, and to keep looking for the magic in your life.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Tim Trad on Unsplash.

Sep

2020

How to Cope with Traumatic Events

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Dealing with everyday stress has become a normal part of our daily lives. Sometimes, we are put into situations that are more stressful than what we usually encounter. How are we to cope with such traumatic events?

If you or any of your loved ones are experiencing this or have experienced this, then these tips should be helpful in your recovery.

Common Reactions to Traumatic Events

A traumatic experience commonly results in having distressing thoughts and feelings long after the event has passed. These reactions are common and may include the following:

Anxiety or fear of danger to self or loved ones
Avoiding situations or thoughts that remind you of the event
Always thinking about what happened
Anger at what happened
Feeling doubt or guilt for not being able to do something about it
Being easily startled by loud noises or sudden movements
Sudden flashbacks of the event
Physical reactions such as tense muscles, trembling, nausea, headache, tiredness, etc.
Withdrawing from the usual activities
Feelings of sadness, loss or loneliness
Sleep problems, sleep walking, nightmares
Problems with concentration or remembering things

How to Cope with Traumatic Events

Acceptance, communication and being around supportive people are important in the recovery process. Here are some tips to help you deal with your anxieties.

1. Understand that It’s Not Your Fault

Most people end up blaming themselves for causing what happened or for not being able to prevent what happened. You have to understand and realize that the only thing you have control of is your own reaction. So you can’t blame yourself for what other people did that resulted in the event.

If you think you did something wrong which resulted or aggravated the event, understand that you did the best you could in that situation. People’s reactions to your action are not under your control. You all might have misunderstood each other’s intentions and that’s how things got out of hand.

Accept that you and everyone involved did what they did because it was how they coped with the situation at that time. Realize that things are not always under your control or anyone else’s.

BONUS: It is good to remind yourself that there are things that you cannot control. Things will keep happening even without the intervention of us human beings.

2. Continue Communicating

Another common reaction is to withdraw from social interactions. It’s okay to give yourself time to calm down and rest after the situation. However, don’t completely shut yourself off from communicating with your family and friends.

It is during this time that you need the presence of other people most. They can help you get out of your head so you don’t dwell too much on thoughts and feelings of blame, shame, guilt and self-doubt. They can also help you assess whether you need to seek professional help if your trauma is negatively affecting your life and those around you.

Communicating with your inner self is also helpful during this period. Write down your thoughts and feelings throughout the day when you are feeling anxious. Try to review what you wrote when you are in a calmer state of mind. You can also review this with someone, whether a loved one or a professional, so they can help you figure out how to manage your anxious thoughts and reactions.

BONUS: Meditation is a helpful way to calm your thoughts and relax your body so you can communicate with yourself and with others more effectively.

3. Learn to Care for Yourself

We often forget that our mind and body are connected. If we are anxious and stressed out with negative thoughts, our body also suffers. Taking care of your body is an important part of your recovery. Focusing on good health is one way on how to cope with traumatic events.

Try to listen to your body. It always knows what it needs. Feed it when it feels hungry, drink to hydrate, go out and enjoy the sunshine as you walk to warm up and energize. You may even try to use your body to help improve your thoughts. For example, you may dress differently so that you feel more confident about yourself.

Part of caring for yourself is to have fun instead of dwelling on your anxious thoughts. You can do fun things at home or have some fun in your backyard. A simple activity such as writing down the things that you are grateful for can greatly help ease your negative thoughts and make you feel better.

BONUS: Practicing mindfulness is one way to become more connected and be aware of how you can care for yourself more.

4. Start Looking Forward

How are you to cope with traumatic events if you keep looking back at it? You have to accept that what happened is all in the past now and that you can move on from it. Try replacing your anxious thoughts with more pleasant ones.

Play the “what if” game with yourself or with family members and friends. Focus on pleasant scenarios such as finding your dream job, buying your dream house, getting yourself that car you’ve always wanted. What if you got your dream job? What’s the first thing that you will do? How will your life change for the better?

Try to come up with fun and positive scenarios to answer these questions. No matter how ridiculous the answers are, the point is to have fun imagining the future and to imagine a fun future instead of dwelling on the past.

BONUS: You can even create a vision board as your answer.

5. Give Yourself Time to Recover

Recovering from a trauma is a healing process and it is a long process. Just like healing from a broken arm takes time, proper care, some sacrifices (not being able to do your regular activities), and help from others for some activities; emotional traumas need a lot of time for healing too.

While it is easier to see that a broken arm is completely healed; it is hard to tell when it comes to emotional traumas. They are like hidden wounds in the body that we think are already healed and have turned into scars. But once in a while, when we think we have gone back to our normal lives, something triggers the scar to open up again.

Remember, it’s okay to not be okay. So don’t rush yourself but don’t dwell too long in the negative thoughts and feelings that may come up when your memories about a past trauma is triggered. Although your aim is to completely recover, no one can tell when this will happen. So focus on dealing with it as it comes along.

As you learn more from your experience, you will be able to identify what triggers your traumatic anxieties. This will help you to manage your thoughts and reactions when such situations come up again. Trust that one day you will wake up having completely recovered from your traumatic experience.

BONUS: During the process, you will have mastered your own thoughts and reactions to deal with regular events in your daily life so you feel less stress and anxiety.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Inzmam Khan from Pexels.