self worth

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Are you keeping up with the Joneses? Wait, what? Who are the Joneses? Well, keeping up with the Joneses is an English idiomatic expression which means comparing oneself to others. It is trying to maintain the same lifestyle or having the same material possessions to that of one’s neighbors or peers. For example, your neighbor buys a new car. In order to keep up with them, you will buy a new car also regardless of whether you need it or not. It also does not put into consideration whether you can afford it or not. Simply put, it is a feeling of not falling behind other people in terms of material possessions. That’s keeping up with the Joneses.

FOMO

With the onset of technology, keeping up with the Joneses has taken a new form. Now known as Fear of Missing Out, the feeling or insecurity has been magnified. We see people traveling, going places, eating delicious foods at fancy restaurants and buying the latest trends. It is human nature to not want to be left behind.

With social media, you get a constant view of the best parts of other people’s lives. You see the meals at fancy restaurants, the designer clothes, and the luxurious vacations. And if you follow any celebrities or influencers, you’ll see those types of posts all the time. It’s natural to feel a bit jealous and to want the same for yourself.

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Why is it Bad?

We live in a highly competitive world. Most of the time, competitions are healthy because it propels us to develop and improve ourselves. However, in this fast-paced capitalist world, it is hard to keep up with everyone else. And besides, it is never a good idea to compare yourself with others. For one, it takes your focus off your goals. Second, in this vast world, learn to accept the fact that there will always be somebody who is more wealthy and successful than you.

The material possessions that others own are all part of their persona. What you are seeing is just the tip of the iceberg. You don’t know the whole story behind it. For all you know, the Joneses are in a track load of debt. It is not something that you want to get yourself into. And even if they can afford it, it does not mean that you can too. Every household has different management strategies. Your net worth is not the same as that of your neighbors.

Social Signaling

In psychology, this phenomenon is part of social signaling. Deep inside you have an inferiority complex or is quite insecure. Having a new car, branded clothes or latest cellphones all send “signals” to others that you are special. It is a way of getting an extra boost of self-worth from the material possessions that you own.

What’s ironic is that the truly wealthy do not act like that at all. Instead, they use what is called the counter signaling. Counter signaling means showing off by not showing off. Based on the analysis done by Dr. Tomas Stanley and Dr. William Danko of 292 millionaires, they found out that millionaires act quite the opposite. This was published in their book The Millionaire Next Door. Actual millionaires do not necessarily signal their success to others. In fact, they keep it low key. True, they buy expensive stuff but only because of their quality and not to show off. The most luxurious items in the world do not have big logos or emblems in their designs.

So, the next time you see your neighbor bragging or walking with their branded ensemble with large monogram logos, think again.

Love Yourself

All of us have our own journey in life. We will never be happy if we will forever be comparing ourselves to others. The key to happiness is to love yourself first. Know your self-worth. You are special. There is a genius within you. All you need to do is to believe in yourself. No amount of wealth, fame and fortune can contribute to your self-worth for it comes from within.


Feature Photo by Inga Seliverstova from Pexels

Posted by A.L. Jonas in Social, 0 comments
How to Move On In Life

How to Move On In Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Almost all of us are wondering how to move on in life after the challenges we’ve been thru. Most of us end up lost and clueless after difficult times. We are usually uncertain of what our next steps should be. Life goes on but we feel stuck instead.

While we may not be in our best shape after going though life’s trials; we still need to do what we can to move on and get closer to the life we want. Here are some tips to help you get a move on and away from a negative life experience.

Accept and Be Thankful

Accepting that a situation is what it is should be your first step to moving on. That means accepting the fact that you and the other people involved made mistakes; that the situation maybe irreparable; and that it will take some time to mend each other’s hurts and clear up the situation.

Stop day dreaming about what could have been or the what if’s. Accept the fact that this chapter in your life is now a permanent part of your history. But remember that this chapter does not define your whole life. You can close this chapter whenever you want to.

Acceptance also means that you acknowledge your own flaws and mistakes but you don’t dwell on blaming yourself or the other parties. Remember that you are more than that one broken piece of you. Instead, you should use the situation to learn life lessons. What did you like and did not like about the persons/situation? What can you do next time to avoid the same issues? Take stock of what this person or situation has taught you and be grateful for it.

Being accepting also means that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t pretend like you’re okay. Cry if you have to; get a friend to whom you can rant to. Write a letter that describes all the gory details while you’re crying instead of bottling up your emotions. Just don’t send it to anyone though.

The point is to feel what you need to feel so that in the future, you can be more aware when a situation has taken a wrong turn; and that is, when you start feeling the same emotions again. Take the time to purge yourself of your negative emotions or to rechannel it. But don’t dwell too long in that negative space. Learn to forgive yourself and promise to do better.

Give yourself a day or two; then take a deep breath and take the next step on how to move on in life. This step is based on your own personal circumstances so it will be different for each one but the next tip should help.

Re-Invest in Your Self

Most of us forget to take care of our selves in our pursuit of success and happiness in the different areas of our life. One of the best things you can do for your self after a challenging life experience is to re-invest in yourself.

Take stock of your own self value. We often forget our own value as we try to please other people in our lives; be it our romantic partner, our work colleagues or boss, or even the expectations of our family members.

You have invested so much of your time and energy into other things that you might have forgotten to give your self some love. Now is the time to indulge in self-care practices to show yourself some love. This is also one way to start your own healing process.

Remember what you were passionate about as a child. As a child, what were your dreams then? What are you good at doing or making? What qualities do you like in other people?

Learning the wonderful things about yourself helps you to identify the qualities that you also value in others. This is what you can share with other people and what other people appreciate about you. We often forget these wonderful aspects of our personalities as we adjust our attitudes and behavior to blend in with our community and environment.

Remembering what makes you who you are and what you can offer to the world will not only boost your sense of self-worth and confidence; it will also help you to figure out how you can utilize your unique talents and abilities to transform your self into the successful person you’ve always wanted to be.

Focus on Change

The time after a storm is when you can see a clearer picture of what you can do and what you can change to transform things for the better. The same is true for personal challenges. When the storm of your life has passed, take stock of what you can do at the moment to change things and improve your situation. You can begin again.

Focus on what you can control. You can’t control what other people think, feel or do. So focus on what you can do on your own to start making change. Now that you have decided to close this chapter; it is the perfect time to start planning out the rest of your life.

Go back to your vision board; consult your bucket list. Review your goals and see which ones you still want to pursue and which ones to discard.

Define what success means for you. Plan out some fun times in your life. Envision the kind of people you want to hang out with; the relationships you want to have. Write down your ideal life story. Break down your goals into measurable chunks. Finally, outline the small steps that you can start working on to start making the change you want.

Of course, planning out the rest of your life will take more than a day. Taking the time to clarify what is important to you will be worth it in the long run. You are building the foundation for the rest of your future so don’t rush through the process. How you want to live your life is your personal responsibility so step up to the challenge.

Most importantly, be consistent in showing up for yourself and doing your best. Believe in yourself and trust that the Universe has your back.


Feature Image: Original Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash.

Posted by H.J. Rangas in Emotional, 0 comments