self improvement

Aug

2021

Turn “ON” the Real You

Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s time to turn “ON” the real you; that version of yourself that includes all aspects of yourself: your persona and your shadow; the 2 sides of one coin. Accepting all parts of who you are is the first step to transforming yourself for the better. If we cannot accept who we are right now; we won’t be able to embrace who we can become.

The wound is the place where the light enters you.
– Rumi

Nobody is perfect. Everyone is a work in progress. So don’t be afraid to accept your own flaws. It is only by recognizing your flaws that you can start to change them, heal them and turn them into a positive part of your self. Being able to love the perfect and imperfect side of yourself helps you live a more balanced life.

Sometimes, it is our fears that makes us stronger in other aspects of our lives. Accept these fears too, so that you don’t have to suffer through them alone. You may meet people who have the same fears and you can work together to live thru them or overcome them.

Everyone has their flaws; embarrassing memories, petty biases, guilty pleasures. We all have things we’d rather hide in the shadows. Unless we accept them as part of our selves, our history, our character; we will never be able to heal them. If we cannot heal, then we cannot move on.

Many people are stuck in the past, in their childhood traumas, never overcoming them. Healing is a gradual process but the first step is acceptance. Accept that you have made a mistake, that you were once a victim of people or circumstances. Accept that you have been wrong or been wronged and then forgive yourself. When you have forgiven your self for your own shortcomings; it becomes easier to forgive others.

Both light and shadow are the dance of love.
– Rumi

Turn “On” the real you so you can live a more balanced life. Accept all parts of you, the good and the bad, the genius, the fool, the beautiful and the ugly. Accept who and what you are now; all of what and who you are. Instead of looking for who or what to blame, look for ways on how to become a better version of yourself. Self-acceptance is a journey that lets you forgive and heal along the way. It takes believing in your self, courage to keep on moving forward and loving yourself to start the process. When you have fully accepted your self; you can start creating a new story.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash.

May

2021

The Shadow Self: Learn to Love Your Dark Side

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Shadow Self is the opposite of your Persona; and it is important to learn to love your dark side in order to live a fully balanced life. Ask yourself: Who am I when I am alone?

Each person is born with both The shadow and the persona. Growing up, we learn to differentiate between what society accepts as good and bad, light and dark. The good parts of ourselves is what we show to the world, the desirable Persona. The bad parts are what we hide, fear and suppress, the Shadow Self.

Both of these aspects of ourselves are a part of our whole self. Unless we are able to learn to love our dark side, we will always feel that something is missing in our lives. We will always feel like we are inadequate in some aspect; or that we are merely posers. Since our dark side is that part of us that we deem unacceptable; we will forever be in fear of that part of ourselves being discovered.

The Shadow Self is Not Bad

The Persona and the Shadow Self can be seen as 2 sides of the same coin, or the Yin and Yang of each person. Without the other, the person is not complete. The Persona that we show to the world is the part of us that we have already “processed” and accepted. The parts of us that we have not processed yet is the Shadow Self. These are the instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions, and fears that we try to hide. Our denial of our addictions or our fear of failure and other bad habits that we are embarrassed about are some examples.

When we repress or deny things; they do not disappear. They only grow stronger and they creep up on us without our awareness. One example of this is thru projection; where we associate what we dislike about ourselves in other people. We end up constantly blaming other people for our own behavior that we cannot accept. This can affect our self-esteem, our relationships and even our perspective of the world. In some cases, they can manifest as difficult psychological or behavioral issues such as not being perfect enough.

Our dark side resides in our unconscious. If we do not process them and accept them as part of ourselves; they will eventually manifest themselves beyond our control. Despite being the dark side of ourselves; the Shadow Self is not actually bad or evil. In fact, it is a strong source of creative energy and self-healing.

Embrace The Whole You

The process of accepting our Shadow Self and embracing it as part of our whole personality is called “integration”, sometimes called shadow work. When we have integrated the dark parts of ourselves; we also heal ourselves and our relationships. There is no specific technique that can be taught on how to do the integration process. Each person has to do on their own and at their own pace. The trick is to do it gradually instead of constantly denying it. However, the first step is always awareness.

Become aware of what other people do or what situations trigger your reactions negatively. Your reaction to such behaviors and situations will give you a clue to your dark side. Next thing you can do is to acknowledge it as part of your self. For example, if you usually hide your aggressive impulses; it can come in handy when you need to defend yourself from being verbally or physically abused by someone else. By accepting it as a normal part of you; you don’t have to hide it or feel guilty for acting out. People who are important to you will also come to accept it as part of your personality. This also means that you can practice your self-control instead of bursting out uncontrollably because you can’t take it anymore.

Since our dark side hides many parts of us that we deem unacceptable; this is also the place where we hide our unique talents and abilities, for example. While the Persona is our orderly self; the Shadow Self is the place of chaos, of potential and possibilities. Many innovations have been born because of people’s dark experiences. A lot of people achieved success only after their lives went into turmoil. By learning to love your Shadow Self; you can live a fully balance life and operate at your highest potential.

The process of integration is a long and arduous process. This is why sometimes, external help is needed if the repressed memories and emotions are too traumatic for the person to deal with by themselves. In our every day lives; let us be more mindful of our experiences so that we can better see the clues that our Shadow Self is giving us. This is also an important aspect of self-love.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Sammy Williams on Unsplash.

May

2021

Black Swan

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Who is the real you? Do you find yourself hiding your innermost thoughts and feelings from others? This is a natural behavior of human beings. It is because we are afraid of how others will react. There are certain norms and societal standards that we need to adher.. Society expects us to act a certain way. There are standards for beauty, for what is good behavior and what is successful. We receive harsh judgment if we do not conform. As a result, we become experts on hiding our true selves. We project an image to society based on what we think is acceptable. This is our persona. But behind the persona lies a different side that we keep to ourselves. The black swan is a metaphor that pertains to our ‘other self’ – the self that we hide from others.

Image

What mask are you wearing? And it is not about any form of physical mask. The truth is every human being wears a mask. In fact, we even wear multiple masks. We act differently in front of family, friends, boss, colleagues, etc. Sometimes, it becomes so natural that we begin to forget who we really are as a person. This is a natural behavior but if done for a long time, unhappiness will kick in because your other self will try to set itself free. It is also draining and exhausting to maintain a facade in front of others.

Black Swan

Have you ever experienced having it all yet you still feel unhappy? Maybe you are successful in your career but for some reason, something is missing. That’s the effect of trying to suppress the other self. The unexpressed part of an individual is known as the shadow. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychoanalyst, described shadow as the unknown dark side of the personality. Sometimes, shadow manifests itself through dreams and visions.

Slowly, I open my eyes. I’m in my workroom, it’s my studio. The darkness in waves brings agony but I’ll never give up. Inside I saw myself, myself…
– Black Swan, BTS

Journey to Self-Discovery

To be able to live life to the fullest, one needs to take the journey to self-discovery. Who we are as a person is not just our persona but it’s the combination of both the persona and the shadow. instead of suppressing the shadow, it is best to embrace it. Recognize your faults, weaknesses, inferiorities, issues, anxieties and even false beliefs. That’s the only way to conquer the shadow. It is only through this do we get to understand our true self and who we really are as a person. From there, we become conscious of the unconscious mind. Moreover, we give ourselves the power to control and improve our conscious mind.

Image by Irina Kuzmina from Pixabay

Apr

2021

5 Ways You Can Suffer from Social Media Addiction

Reading Time: 5 minutes

There are many ways you can suffer from social media addiction. In today’s world, it is almost impossible to not be a part of social media in some way. There are many social media platforms to chose from. Most people have at least 2 to 3 social media accounts on different platforms.

The use of social media has become so ingrained in our daily routine. We don’t often notice the harm it can cause. Just like any addiction, social media can become a habit that is hard to let go. Today, not having a social media account makes you seem anti-social. However, becoming anti-social is actually one of the negative effects of being addicted to social media.

With the rise of more affordable mobile devices, the use of social media is also on the rise. This also means that more people are experiencing the negative effects of being addicted to the use of social media.

1. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) + Unhealthy Sleep Patterns

People who can’t stop checking their social media accounts so frequently do so because of a fear of missing out. This is one of the reasons why people develop social media addiction. Be it on the latest trends in fashion, entertainment or news; they don’t want to miss out on the latest happenings. Nobody wants to be criticized for being old fashioned or late to the news by their “friends” on social media. As a result, they spend their time late into the night, following recommended links and discussing these with their group.

This is especially true if you join a social media group which focuses on a particular topic. You need to be very active in the group conversations in order to be noticed. This is why you need to keep yourself updated on the topic/s so your comment gets more attention. In this cycle of events, you feel that you are getting more friends even as you lose more sleep.

This type of environment makes you feel like you belong to a group. In turn, this makes you feel the need to contribute to the group and make your presence felt. The problem is that this group is a virtual group; so you don’t really know the actual members. Spending too much time in this online group may lead to you developing anti-social tendencies in your personal relationships.

2. Developing Anti-Social Tendencies

You may have more than 500 friends or followers on your social media profile. Question is, do you really know each of them personally? You may be a part of a popular social media group, but do the members know each other at all?

Social media groups and group chats are useful for learning new things. They also allow you to get to know new people with similar interests as you. Spending time with your online friends is enjoyable but it also deprives you of quality time with your friends in the physical world.

Being immersed in just one group for too long will also encourage “group think”. This mindset makes you less open to exploring new ideas and concepts. You might reject an excellent suggestion about a particular topic just because it isn’t aligned with your group’s opinion. When you are limiting yourself to group think, you end up with more arguments instead of meaningful and productive discussions.

If you always spend time online and/or always argue with your friends and loved ones offline; eventually, you will develop anti-social behavior which could lead to more serious relationship issues and mental health issues later on.

3. Getting a Negative Self-Image

Social media posts are generally about good things or bad things in a particular person’s life experience. If you are always stalking your favorite social media influencer because you want to imitate their “perfect” life; then you are in for trouble. No one can have the perfect body unless they’ve been digitally enhanced. Life is only perfect in still pictures. People in social media tend to highlight only the good stuff. This is especially so in ads or thru celebrity endorsements.

Comparing yourself to the perfect lifestyle of celebrities is a negative habit. Doing it regularly will only make you develop a negative self-image. Instead of encouraging you to accept and love yourself; it may even give you a more negative view of the world in general.

As you stalk your favorite social media personality’s profile; you pine away at the things you don’t have in your life yet. With this habit, you are also negatively impacting your physical and mental health. Lingering on your social media feed will lower your self-esteem even more. There is a higher chance of this happening if you don’t have a healthy measure of self-confidence to begin with.

4. Setting Unrealistic Expectations

We all know the saying: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Based on your online friends, what type of person will you become or have you become that person already?

Being constantly on social media may give you unrealistic expectations of the real world. Relationships on social media are very different from relationships in real life. How people behave on social media is not how real people behave in the physical world. Relationship stress in the real world are very different from online ones. Constantly comparing your own situation to that of your social media idols and friends will result in many disappointing experiences.

It is even more harmful if you have experienced cyber-bullying in your social media group/s. This is similar to experiencing peer pressure in real life. It is just as harmful online because your attackers may be more than you can handle. Since you don’t know each other personally, any way you defend yourself will be useless. But since they are speaking as a group, then their opinions will come off as valid and believable. You may end up following their advise even if you’re not really sure about it. This is another negative effect of “group think”.

5. Feeling Depression and Anxiety

Aside from news channels, how many people have you seen online venting their frustrations and personal issues on their profiles? If you’ve started doing the same, then you might also be exhibiting the symptoms of depression.

Some people use social media to vent out their frustrations. This is actually alright if you are sharing such matters to just a select group of intimate friends and/or relatives. But if you are venting publicly, then you may invite unwanted attention and unsolicited advise as well as criticism.

If you are ranting on your social media group, you may receive both helpful comments as well as criticism. However, if you can’t manage the comments wisely, then you will only end up getting stressed and anxious. You may even end up depressed from one negative remark which might trigger a host of other negative emotions.

Depression is not something to make light off. Most people are not even aware that they are depressed. Do you find yourself constantly looking for validation online, instead of asking help from your actual friends and family? You may be more anxious or depressed than you think.

Next time you pick your phone or check your social media profile, try to set a time limit. This way, you don’t miss out on the more important things you need to pay attention to.

Do you know people who have experienced any of these ways that you can suffer from social media addiction? Have you experienced any of these yourself? The first step to solving the problem is awareness. Just like money, you should spend more on experiences that you will remember later on, with the people you love, instead of meaningless chatter online. Manage your time online wisely so you don’t miss out on the wonderful experiences real life has to offer.

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2019.10.15.
Feature Image: Original Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV from Pexels.

Mar

2021

Reset Your Life Challenge

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Are you happy and content about where you are in your life right now? What aspect of your life do you want to improve? What dimension of your overall wellness do you wish to become better? If you are having problems right now, the good news is that you can actually reset your life or just a specific aspect of your life but you must be willing to make some changes. It won’t be possible if you keep on doing the same things over and over again. So, are you willing to take the reset your life challenge?

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
– Albert Einstein

1. Assessment

To improve on any aspect of your life, the first step is assessment. Find out where you are right now in terms of your physical health, emotions, finances, relationships or any other aspect of your life. The only way to go forward is to honestly assess your current state.

2. Be responsible

You are where you are right now because of you alone. You are having problems with your physical health because you have not been taking care of your body. A healthy immune system can fight off any diseases or viruses. Your finances are in a mess because you have not been taking care of them. It is the same in every aspect of your life that is failing. It is not because of your parents, your boss, the government or anything. It is all a product of all the decisions you have made in the past. So, stop blaming others. Instead, be responsible for your life. Stop blaming others. The sooner you will accept responsibility for your life, the sooner you will be able to take control of your future.

You are what you are today because of the choices you made in the past.
– Jim Rohn

3. Visualization

The next step is to figure out where you want to go. How do you see yourself in the future? What is your ideal life? Visualize yourself living that ideal life. You don’t have to worry about whether it is possible or not. That is what dreams are for. In fact, the bigger the dream, the better. It helps to start by creating your own bucket list.

4. Creation of Goals

Now, it is time to create a bridge between your present life and your ideal life. The only way to do that is to make a connection between the past and the present through goal formation. Goals are supposed to be SMART. That’s the only way to achieve them.

5. Launch

Once you have concrete plans, the next thing to do is launch. The sooner you implement your plans, the sooner you can achieve that better life. What are you waiting for? Start now and look forward to a better tomorrow. When the clock strikes zero o’clock later, it is a promise of not just a new day but a new life.

6.Persevere

Once you start, learn to persevere. Perseverance means having the determination to continue despite all the obstacles and challenges that come your way. Don’t quit. Never give up.

Goodluck!

Feauture Photo by David Alberto Carmona Coto from Pexels

Dec

2020

Giving the Gift of Gratitude

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you practice giving the gift of gratitude in your daily life? If you want to develop this habit, now is the perfect time to start.

Practicing gratitude has many benefits for our health, emotions, mindset and relationships. There are many ways that you can express your gratitude. The trick is to be consistent about it so it becomes a positive habit in your daily life.

Expressing Your Gratitude

Have you said “Thank You” to anyone today? What were you thankful about? It’s simple but it’s so hard to do sometimes. Some people are too shy or are not used to doing it. This is why practice is important. We usually reserve expressing our gratitude for occasions where we consider it’s necessary. You don’t need to wait for a formal event to say the words.

Start expressing your thanks for the small things. When you receive your order from the delivery guy; get off a taxi; when your food is served at a restaurant. These guys do get paid for serving their customers. However, a sincere “Thank You” from a complete stranger can make a big impact on their day. When conveyed with a genuine smile, it can lift up the mood of a tired worker and put a smile on their faces too.

Gratitude Thru A Note / Letter

Saying “Thank You” can become awkward. This is the case when you and the other party are not used to such gestures. Or when you are too shy to say it out loud. Perhaps you were too surprised. You missed the chance to express your gratitude. Then the next best thing to do is to write a “Thank You” note.

In the work place, a simple note stuck on to the person’s computer or desk will do. A “Thank You” thru text or via their social media channels is also appreciated. If you want to express more than just a “Thank You’, then a longer email would do. Don’t forget that a personally hand-written letter still has its appeal and conveys much more thoughtfulness into your simple act of expressing your thanks.

Acceptance Thru Gratitude

All of us have had difficult life experiences. We may have gone through a crisis that made it difficult to get back on our feet again. Some of us have had traumas because of these experiences. We wish we could get over them but we are too afraid to take the risk. Giving the gift of gratitude can help you move on.

If we are unable to move forward from a traumatic past; it is also because we have not accepted who we became as a result of that experience. That experience changed us for good or bad. In order to move forward, we have to be grateful for the lessons that it taught us so we can start transforming our selves and our lives for the better.

Review what lessons that experience taught you but don’t focus on just the bad. Try to see what good things came as a result of it too. Then express your gratitude for the life lesson and start taking action to better your path ahead.

Forgiveness Thru Gratitude

Similar to life experiences that we have no control over; we also have no control over other people. We end up getting hurt or hurting them. Moving on from the past also means forgiving yourself and the people who caused you hurt and harm. Giving the gift of gratitude can help you in the process of forgiving.

Realize that they came into your life to teach you a lesson. They may have helped you to uncover parts of yourself that you didn’t know you had. Your conflicts with particular persons made clearer for you what you truly want and don’t want. It also showed you parts of yourself that you like and don’t like. It might have even unlocked in you strength of character that you never thought you were capable of. They might have driven you to despair but they also taught you how to fight back or strengthened your determination to change your situation.

The important thing is to realize that you can forgive them by being grateful for the lessons that you learned because of their influence in your life. You don’t need to tell them personally. You don’t need their apology to forgive them. As with your difficult life experiences; thanking them in your heart is enough. Lastly, forgive yourself for your own shortcomings and strive to do better.

Daily Gratitude

Another way of learning to practice gratitude is by expressing it for the small things you receive in your daily life. Did a friend offer you the last cookie from the box? Did a family member praise how you look in your new outfit? Did you wake up feeling alive and healthy this morning?

Say “Thank You” to the Universe, or God, or the Creator, etc., for all these things that you have in your life each day. Be mindful of the persons, experiences, things, coincidences that you experience daily. Better still, start a gratitude journal so that you can keep track of all your blessings. Pretty soon, you will notice that you are attracting more things to be grateful for in your life.

Being grateful for your blessings every day helps to keep you a positive mindset. Giving the gift of gratitude to your family, friends and even strangers will not only promote a peaceful and calmer mind. It will also help maintain and develop better relationships. Finally, it will help expand the positive vibe to more people.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash.

Nov

2020

The Impostor Challenge

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Finding out who the impostor or impostors are is the challenge in the recently popular game Among Us. There are tips to improve your chances at winning in the game that you can also use in real life.

Part of the popularity of the game maybe because it serves as a platform for participants to release strong, pent up emotions with a possibility of being rewarded. It provides an opportunity to break rules without negative consequences. After all, choosing who to sacrifice among your team mates in the game does not feel as cruel as it is in a real life scenario.

The reason that truth is stranger than fiction is that fiction has to have a rational thread running through it in order to be believable, whereas reality may be totally irrational.
— Sydney J. Harris

Although the method to survive and win in the game is cruel; real life is even more so. We have to engage with different people who may no be what we perceive them to be. While it is hard enough to figure out who are the impostors among us; some of us are suffering because we think and feel, that we are, in fact, impostors.

The Impostor Syndrome

Most people battle with having self-confidence every day. For people with impostor syndrome, the struggle is even more difficult. There are a lot of high-achievers who feel deep down that they are complete frauds. They feel that their accomplishments are mostly due to luck.

Since they believe that they are not at all talented, skilled, knowledgeable or experienced enough in their profession. They believe that they are actually inadequate, incompetent and total failures. Thus, they are in constant fear that their secret will be found out.

Many men and women experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. It was first identified by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. It applies to any person who is unable to acknowledge and own their accomplishments and success in their occupations or in other aspects of their life.

Dr. Valerie Young has categorized the different patterns of the Impostor Syndrome into five subgroups:

1. The Perfectionist

Perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves and their group. They are usually control freaks who feel like they need to do everything themselves for things to be done right. When they fail to reach a goal; they experience major self-doubt and constantly worry about measuring up to their own goals and standards. This is definitely an impostor challenge that’s hard to overcome.

2. The Superwoman/man

These are the people who you see working over time but still come to the office the earliest. They push themselves hard at work to cover-up their insecurities of not measuring up or not being as competent as their colleagues. Vacations don’t entice them because they feel that they need to work harder instead of wasting their time on other things.

3. The Natural Genius

Some people believe that in order to succeed they need to be a natural genius. A genius to them means that they can do something easily and quickly without much effort. Just like perfectionists, they set their standards ridiculously high. When they fail to master something in a short period of time, they feel ashamed and think that they’re never going to get good at it. This impostor challenge does not value long-term effort at all.

4. The Expert

Experts believe that they need to know as much as they can before they act. Deep inside, they believe that they will never know enough. They have a constant fear of being exposed as lacking experience or knowledge. Their tendency is to procrastinate with the excuse that they need to learn more or meet all the requirements before they start on a project or apply for a job.

5. The Soloist

People who are too independent may seem cool and enjoying utmost freedom in life. Soloist believe that they have to do it by themselves and asking for help diminishes their accomplishments. If they can’t do something by themselves; they feel that they are a failure and a fraud.

The Impostor Challenge

Your challenge is to assess yourself and identify which of these subcategories you can relate to. You may have experienced an Impostor Challenge at some point in your life. Being aware of what triggered these experiences will help you avoid them in the future.

Ask yourself how did you overcome that challenge? How did you get out of that phase in your life. If you can help someone else who is suffering from Impostor Syndrome; what would you do?

Try to observe the people around you. See if they are suffering from Impostor Syndrome and what subgroup they belong to. Unlike in the game, you don’t need to vote them out. You can help them find their confidence, recognize their accomplishments and overcome their challenge instead.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash.

May

2020

Your First Step

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The first step is the start of something new. It signals a fresh start or new beginning. The first step is usually the hardest but once you decide to take it, then you have advanced forward in your journey. You need to take your first step if you want to change your life for the better.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
— Lao Tzu

To change Your Circumstances

We experience many setbacks in our journey through life and we need to take many kinds of first steps to change our circumstances. Taking a first step into the unknown is always a scary experience no matter how many times you do it; but it is necessary to do so in order for us to thrive and grow as individuals.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

To Chase Your Dreams

Taking the first step into an uncertain future can be daunting. It takes courage and belief in our own capabilities and faith that the Universe has our back. Sometimes, it may feel that our first steps lead us to a dead end. It may even feel like the wrong path to our intended destination. However, if we keep on striving, trusting our intuition and holding steadily to our goals; no matter what path we are taken thru, we will surely get to our destination.

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.”
— Chinese proverb

To Move Forward In Life

Our journey may seem like a labyrinth sometimes and we don’t always see the way out. Our destination may sometimes become unclear, obscured by hurdles along the way. But as long as we take the first step and have the courage to keep on moving forward, then we are moving closer to success.

Together, let us take our first steps – even if they are baby steps – to get ahead on our journey.

Featured Image: Original Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash.

Apr

2020

The Problem Set Challenge

Reading Time: 3 minutes

An eagle rises above the storm by soaring above them. Similarly, we need to find a way to go beyond the storm that we are experiencing in our life. We need to let our minds soar to greater heights and figure out what we need to do to get there.

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.
— Washington Irving

Instead of focusing on the worries, let us try to think above and beyond the challenges that we are facing. Seeing the bigger picture will help us take a clearer perspective of what we need to have and do in order to rise above the storm of life’s trials.

However, in order for us to soar above a challenge, we need to identify first if our wings are strong enough to withstand the storm. Ask yourself, “Do I have the qualities necessary to solve my current problem/s?” To answer this question, take the Problem Set Challenge.

The Problem Set Challenge

Get a pen and paper and divide it into 5 columns. Name the first column Challenge, the second column Solutions, the third column, Internal Resources, the fourth column Actions and the last column External Resources.

Challenge

On the Challenge column, write down 1 or 3 major challenges that you are facing at the moment. Try to be specific and be sure to number them accordingly. Don’t think too hard on the order; just follow your gut.

Solutions

On the Solutions column, write down the solution that is necessary to solve the problem. Try to be specific on this as well. If you have more than one solution to a problem, number them accordingly.

Internal Resources

On the Internal Resources column, write down the resources that you will need to implement each solution. These are not material resources but the qualities that you will need to help you implement the solution. For example, if you’re problem is that you need to save money and one solution is exercise; one quality you will definitely need is self-discipline. Each resource may be repeated for each solution.

Action

On the Action column, write down how you will specifically implement each solution using the resources you have identified.

External Resources

At this point, you may add other items in the External Resources column as part of the requirements to implement the solution.

If you find that some Internal Resources are lacking, then that means that you need to develop these qualities in yourself. You may need to list this down as a problem that you need to solve first before the current problem you listed.

Revise your list accordingly until you are able to specify which problems need to be addressed first and the specific solutions to them. You may need to revise several times but try to come up with just 3 specific problems that you will focus on for the time being. Consider these 3 challenges and their solutions as your current problem set.

Whenever your preparations for the sea are poor; the sea worms its way in and finds the problems.
— Francis Stokes

This exercise helps you determine patterns of thought or habits that you may already have, or not have, that you will need to help you solve specific problems, not just at this moment in your life but also in the future.

Remember, before you can rise above the storm, you will need to ensure that you have the qualities it takes to brave the strong winds and endure whatever the storm brings you until you can go beyond it. But going above it is not your only goal. You also need to make sure that you have a plan on how to keep staying above it.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Dani Mota from Pexels.

Apr

2020

Smart Ways To Combat Boredom

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Having a daily routine is a good way to organize your activities. However, when you’ve grown tired of your daily routine, or when your activities are cancelled and you suddenly have nothing to do, boredom can strike. Taking a nap is one quick way to combat boredom but unless you truly need it, it isn’t the best way. You can play games of binge-watch TV shows but they are not that productive. We’re sure some ideas have already popped into your head but why not try some more uncommon ways to spend your free time? Try out these smart ways to combat boredom:

1. Redesign Your Life

Start redesigning your future life with a list. Sit down with some pen and paper and ask yourself these questions: “What do you want to become in the future? What areas of your life do you want to improve and how?” Write down a bucket list of all the things you want to improve in the different areas of your life.

2. Create a Vision Board

Once you have a bucket list of how you want your future life to be, get some old magazines, scissors, glue and cardboard. Sit down for a bit and write down a paragraph to summarize what your redesigned life is like. Take note of the important keywords and find the images that relate to those words in the magazines. Cut them out and arrange them accordingly on your cardboard. Your vision board should remind you of your future goals everyday so make sure to hang it where you will always see it.

3. Set Your Financial Goals

If you’ve been itching to tackle your financial situation, now is the time to do so. Focus on what your short term, medium term and long-term financial goals are and assess where you are now. From here, you can determine what you need to do to move towards your goals. Make sure that you are making S.M.A.R.T. goals so you can measure your progress.

4. Create Your Budget

So you might have your financial goals set but how about your daily, weekly, monthly spending? How do you allocate your money each time you get your paycheck? The answer to that is having a budget and while no one budget system is perfect for everyone, you can start with the Money Jar Budgeting System and tweak it according to your needs.

5. Plan Your Meals

A healthy body keeps you going so you can pursue your goals further. So what you eat is an important part of your success. If you’re going on a diet and even if you are not, planning your meals not only keeps you healthy but also keeps your budget on track. There are ways to get the most out of your meals while saving money on groceries. If you keep these in mind, your body and your wallet will surely thank you. Plus, you can ensure that you and your family get to enjoy all your favorite dishes too.

6. Organize Your Clothes

A messy closet can be a daily scene that seems normal when you are always in a rush to get out the door each morning. Now that you have the time, why not be productive and spend it organizing your wardrobe? You might find hidden gems that you can wear on your next party or items that you don’t want to keep but your friend would love to have. Make sure to check if you have the basic items and make a note of what you need to complete them. If you have a lot of items to let go of, then you can sell them for some extra cash.

7. Compose An Apology

Do you need to say sorry to a friend or family member but haven’t done so for whatever reason? Now is the time to compose your thoughts and learn to properly say you’re sorry. The important thing is to be sincere about it. It would be good to write down your thoughts first and practice saying your apology. When you think you’re ready, contact your friend or family member and ask them to listen to you as you state your apology. Hopefully, your sincerity should win them over and you can sleep with a lighter heart.

8. Hone A Skill

Got a hobby or childhood talent you’ve never had time to practice? Now that you’ve got the time, pick up that guitar, paint brush and canvas, or that manual and start training yourself again. Or you can learn a new skill. All the greats started where you are now and you may not be aiming to be a professional in that field but improving yourself in something you love to do can boost your confidence and help you perform better in other areas of your life.

9. Start a Gratitude Journal

Being grateful is life-changing so why not start being grateful right now? All you need is your favorite notebook and pen, or your mobile phone will also do. Review your day, week, month, and write down the things that you are thankful about. Don’t discriminate between the small things and the big things, they are all equally worthy of being grateful for. You can do this every day before you sleep so you can rest with good vibes around you.

10. Go On a Themed Staycation

This is especially fun to do with the whole family. Since you’re stuck at home, why not indulge in a themed staycation? It doesn’t cost much and it can be fun. It can be a game night, a musical where you are all actors and singers, movie night with kids movies, starting a garden, a home decluttering theme, or even making a game of finding things that you can get rid of in your home. While some things may sound like a chore, if a delicious home-cooked meal is a reward, it should bring a sense of fun into the activity.

These are just some of the things that you can do while you’re stuck at home, alone or with your family. What other things do you do to help ease boredom at home? We’d love to hear your suggestions.

Original Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash.