sadness

Jun

2023

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people? Yes, bad things do happen to good people. That is why it is so hard to understand. Sometimes, it even leads us to question our belief. If there is someone omnipotent out there, who is supposed to be loving and good; why do do bad things still happen to good people then?

Religion

Of course there is always a religious answer and that is; only through pain will we learn to pray and seek the help of God, Allah, or the Universe. Because as humans, people have the tendency to forget about God most especially if things are going well. God’s plan is for us to return to Him more so if we have gone astray.

Science

And then there is a scientific explanation. In Quantum Physics, everything around us is matter. And matter is energy, including humans. How do you feel if you are talking to a toxic person or if you are in a toxic workplace or environment? It does not feel good, right? That is because what you are feeling is directly influenced on the atomic level by the vibrational frequency of the person or the environment for that matter. If you spend more time with that person or in that environment, before you know it; you too will become toxic person too.

In short, bad things happen to good people because they are in the low vibrational frequency. Like attracts likes. It has nothing to do with being good or bad. Neither it is an issue of whether one person deserves it or not. It is just simply vibration, frequency and energy. Thus, it is important to always be wary of our predominant emotions.

Emotions and Their Frequencies

According to Dr. David R. Hawkins, director for the Institute of Spiritual Research, Inc and belling selling author of the Map of Consciousness, all our thoughts, attitudes, feelings and emotions have frequencies.

To be happy and healthy, our goal is to move from the lower frequency to the higher frequency. But as humans, our frequencies are always vibrating. Stay in the low frequency for so long, and you will be attracting negative things, people and event. In the same way, stay in the high frequency for long and you will be attracting good things into your life. At 200 Hz, having courage is the middle ground. Any emotions below 200 Hz is considered low.

Learn The Lesson and Move On

What if you found yourself in such a situation wherein a bad thing happen to you? Rather than playing the blame game, it is better to learn the lesson and move on. Instead of asking yourself “why did it happen TO me?’ why not ask “why did it happen FOR me?”. By changing the question, you are moving on from your victim mentality to taking responsibility. And it is only through taking responsibility for what happened to you will you be able to overturn the events and change the ending to your desired outcome.

Feature Photo by Karolina Grabowska

Mar

2021

If Only Are Two Saddest Words in the World

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Death is one thing that is constant in life. Whether we like it or not, every person has to go thru death. So, our time here on earth is just borrowed. We are not going to be with our loved ones forever. Sooner or later, we will be separated through death. That is why it is important to cherish your loved ones while you still can. Sometimes, we only know how much a person means to us after we lose the person. Don’t wait for that to happen because regret is hard to overcome. Let’s hope we don’t have to say, if only like Marizel. If only are two saddest words in the world.

If Only

If I would have known that I’d never see you again,

If I would have known that was the last time we would be together.

If I would have known I’d never get another chance

to talk to you,

to hold you,

to kiss you,

to touch you,

If I would have known I’d wake up the next day without you in my life,

I would have held you a little tighter,

kissed you a little longer,

talked to you on and on,

touched your hand, and never let it go,

gently whispered “I love you” over and over again,

and asked you with all my heart,

“how could I live without you?”.

I would have done all these,

and more,

so much more.

If only…

If only I would have known.

As the clock strikes zero o’clock, let’s all be nicer, kinder and more loving to persons who are dear to us.

Marizel Layco Beck started writing poems as a way to release her pain and to express her sadness with the sudden passing of two people who were very dear to her, one after another. She lost her father, Ver five days after he was rushed to the hospital because of stomach pains. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. And then, a WEEK later, she lost her sister, Karen. Karen died of a heart attack in her sleep.

To read more of Marizel’s poems, visit The Grief Toolbox.

Feature Image by 6657176 from Pixabay

Jan

2021

10 Ways to Help You Work Through Grief

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Grief is a journey that you go through as a natural response to the death of something or someone significant in your life. This journey involves going through a roller coaster of emotions – from shock, anger, guilt, denial, sadness, fear – all of which can be overwhelming. Going through grief also affects your physical health. Most people find it difficult to sleep, eat or even think about other things aside from their loss.

Going through a period of grief can be an intense experience which means that taking care of yourself while on this journey is even more important. There are ways to help you work through your grief while being able to live your life as normally as possible.

Grief has 5 stages and people usually go through each one to start the healing process. How long each stage lasts is different for everyone. Some people are able to easily accept their loss and are quicker to move on.

Denial – you can’t believe what has happened
Anger – you don’t understand why this has happened and you want to know who or what to blame
Bargaining – you want to undo what has happened in exchange for something that you promise you will do
Depression – you feel too sad about what happened that you can’t do anything else
Acceptance – you feel at peace with what happened

Whichever stage of grief you are, here are some things you can do to better take care of yourself in this period and start you on the healing process.

1. Accept Your Grief

Trying to hide your pain is not a cool thing to do. Everyone who learns about your loss will know that you are grieving so don’t run from the pain and sorrow. You need to accept the fact that you will be experiencing these emotions as you work through your loss.

2. Ask and Accept Support

You cannot work through your grief by yourself so don’t hesitate to ask for and accept help from friends and family and your community. During this time, let others take care of you and help you when you need assistance. A shoulder to cry on when you suddenly can’t fight the urge to cry and someone to just listen as you air your worries are very helpful at these times.

3. Listen to Advise from the Experienced

Words of encouragement from people who have gone through the same experience can provide you with guidance on how to process your own emotions. Learn their stories and how they coped and see how you can apply it to your own path to healing. This will help you work through your grief in your own way.

4. Learn More About Grief

Most people shut themselves out from the world when grieving. You might need some days to be alone but instead of just focusing on your sorrow and fears, try to learn about what you are going through.

There are many myths surrounding the process of grief like the belief that grieving should last about a year. Different individuals have different coping mechanisms and how long it takes to process their grief will vary with each person.

Learning more about grief can also make you aware if you are actually in a state of depression. Depression and grief often have the same symptoms so if you are depressed, then you will need to seek specific help.

5. Accept Your Feelings

Grief can bring up many different feelings some of which can be very intense. You may feel anger, sadness, regret and even longing. Don’t hold them in. Acknowledge them and accept that you need to express them as part of the natural grieving process. Know that once you have expressed these feelings, they can help you work out your grief.

6. Express Your Grief

The best way to work through your grief is to let it out. You can cry, scream and yell if you need to or express your emotions through music, art, writing, even dance. Grief usually hits us emotionally when we are alone so when you feel the urge to express your grief, don’t ignore it. Expressing your grief is the only way to honor your feelings, work through your grief and move you closer to acceptance and healing.

7. Make Sure to Rest

Grieving can be physically exhausting. It takes a lot of energy to let out emotions that you are feeling so intensely. So don’t push yourself too hard to get back to your normal activities. Rest when you need to instead of going out with friends or take a leave from work for a day or two if you think you need it.

8. Do Something You Enjoy

Raise your spirits by doing something that you enjoy. Indulge in a favorite hobby or learn a new one to distract you from your grief from time to time. Whether you do something by yourself or with others, doing something you enjoy will help you feel better instead of just focusing on your pain and sorrow.

9. Laugh More

Laughter is the best medicine and it works even with grief. Grieving people sometimes feel guilty about having fun. They feel that sharing a laugh with a friend is like dishonoring the memory of their loved one. However, if their loved one was still around, wouldn’t they want those left behind to still enjoy life? Not only will laughter help you feel better, it can also take you back to memory lane when you and your loved one had fun times. This is also a good way to process your grief. Start the day with a smile and see how your mood changes.

10. Keep Believing

Although it may feel that your grief will last forever, know that it will not. Keep believing that you will one day heal and be able to accept the loss of your loved one or a relationship with a peaceful heart. Believe that you will wake up one day feeling whole and complete again and be able to honor the memory of your loved one in everything that you do for yourself, for your family, your friends and your community.

The process of grieving is different for each person but the support of friends and family as well as colleagues at work is important during this time. If you know someone who is grieving, then make sure to offer your support to help them work through their emotions. Keep in mind these tips when offering support to those in grief.

Most importantly, don’t forget to cherish your loved ones while you still can so you don’t have too many regrets. If you have gone through a loss, what did you do to process your grief?

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2019.06.26.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash.