preparation

Apr

2022

Easy Workouts You Can Do at Home and Anywhere

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Working out can be a chore but if you spend a few minutes each day to put some workout moves into your daily routine, or house chores, or even while at the office; you can be working out all day and not even need to go to the gym, outside your house or your office. Remember, it takes time to incorporate new habits into your daily routine, so consistency is key.

These workouts don’t require special equipment. You can find all the things you need in your home or office. Best of all you can do these indoors so you can still workout even when it’s raining.

Here are 15 workouts you can do at home, in your hotel or even your office, with just a little time throughout your day.

Lift Weights

Carry a weighted object such as a full laundry basket and lift up to shoulder height. You can also do this with your toddlers, gallons of mineral water, etc.

Squats

Instead of bending over to put away items in the bottom cabinets, do a squat. Do it slowly for more resistance or do it fast for a mini cardio workout.

Sprint or Jog

Sprint or jog from one room to another and repeat to cover as much distance as possible. If your house has stairs, use it for short sprints or jogs going up and going down.

Lunges

While standing up, extend your right leg in front of you and bend your knees to a 90 degree angle. Your back leg should also bend to adjust to your position. Stand up again and repeat with the other leg. You can also do this on a bench or the stairs for deeper lunges.

Wall Sit

Waiting for your coffee to brew or for your soup to boil? Do a wall sit. Stand against a wall with your legs together and your feet flat on the floor. Slowly transition to a sitting position keeping your back agains the wall. Hold the position for a few seconds or as long as you need. You can also lift one leg and extend it straight or put your foot on top of the opposite knee for an even challenging pose.

Standing Push-ups

When standing up to peel vegetables or washing dishes, do standing push-ups for a quick break or after putting the dishes away. Just stand at arms length from the table or sink with your arms extended and your hands resting on the edge of the table or sink. Then push with your hands and lower your whole body unto the edge of the table or sink keeping your legs and feet together and your whole body as straight as possible.

Desk Pushes

While sitting, put your hands under the table in front of you and try to push it up as if lifting the table. You don’t want to lift the table but it will provide the resistance you need to work out your arm muscles. This is one of the workouts that you can do when you’re waiting for a meeting to start, for example.

Leg Lifts

When answering a phone call, sit at the edge of your chair and extend one leg straight in front of you and hold it there for a few seconds or a minute. Repeat with the other leg and alternate for as long as you can or until your phone call ends.

Behind-the-Back Claps

While checking over your stew, stand straight and extend your arms towards your back and try to clap. You don’t need to actually be able to clap if you can’t reach that far but at least you’re stretching some arm muscles. If there is room, also extend your arms in front and clap. Do this while waiting for your chili to cook for example.

Pilates 100

While lying on your back, lift your legs, bend your knees and point your toes so your knees and hips are at a 90 degree angle. Lift your head, neck and shoulders off the ground. Extend your arms out towards your side and move them up and down together while keeping your body’s position. Take deep breaths as you move your arms and try to reach up to 100 counts.

Toe Touch

While lying on your back, extend your legs up straight and use both arms to try and touch your toes. If you can’t touch your toes yet, then just touch to the highest point of your outstretched legs as you can. You can also put your legs in table top position and touch your knees instead if you can’t stretch your legs straight.

Half Bridges

Lie flat without a pillow and put your legs and feet together. Put your arms flat at your side. Lift your butt up by bending your knees while keeping your feet together. Bring down your butt and lift up again. You should feel a slow burn on the back of your thighs and your glutes (butt). Support your body with your arms for better balance. Repeat several times.

Planks

After doing half bridges, you can do a plank. You can also do this when you’re on the floor playing with your kids. Go into push-up position and hold this position for several seconds or a full minute. You can also bend your elbows and position them flat on the ground. In addition, you can turn your side, keeping your legs and feet straight, on top of each other and support yourself with only one arm for a side plank. Repeat on the other side.

Donkey Kicks

Position yourself on all fours on the floor. Raise your right leg and bend your knees as you try to kick the air behind you towards the ceiling. Repeat the kicking motion several times. Do the same for the other leg. This is one of the workouts that is great for toning your butt too!

Hip Thrusters

While lying on your back, bend your knees and put your feet up on a chair or bench, keeping your butt close to the edge of the chair or bench. Keep your arms flat on the floor for balance and thrust your hips up into the ceiling. Repeat several times.

Keeping yourself physically fit is one of the aspects of wellness that allows you to be able to live your life more fully. Consistency is the key. There are many more exercises aside from these that you can do. You only need to choose a combination of these workouts to start your day, end your day or all through the day so you don’t get bored. You can adapt your workout routine as the situation allows you.

Hopefully, these workouts will also help you to learn what type of exercises you like or what body part you want to work on more. This knowledge will help you decide what exercise type is right for you when you decide to engage in a full body workout that targets the areas you want to improve. In the meantime, these exercises should help improve your fitness and make you feel better about your body and yourself, in general.

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2019.01.21.
Feature Image: Original Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash.

Jan

2022

How to Stop Playing the Blame Game

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Are you still playing the Blame Game? Many of us as children have played this game. We did it involuntarily because we didn’t want to be punished for our mistakes. As adults, we are taught to take responsibility for our mistakes so we outgrow this habit. However, we do resort to this tactic sometimes in certain situations. Some adults even do not outgrow this mindset and are still playing it in their daily lives. How do you stop playing the Blame Game?

What is The Blame Game?

The Blame Game starts when one person tries to shift the blame away from himself and towards other persons, things, or circumstances. For example, when 2 children are fighting over a toy and ends up breaking it; they tend to blame the other child when questioned by their parents. As adults, this is a dangerous game to play as it has major, even dangerous consequences.

The Blame Game is very contagious. When one person starts it; those who are blamed usually end up blaming others in an attempt to not suffer any punishment. They also blame others so that they have other people to share the punishment with. This seems very silly but this is quite a common occurrence even in the most professional workplace.

Why Do We Play The Game?

Shifting blame away from ourselves is a defense mechanism. It is a tool we use when we feel attacked and want to fight back. It is an easy game to play because we all know that people are capable of lying. So, in the heated moments, we usually end up trying to figure out who or what to blame; instead of trying to understand the core issue or the root cause of the whole situation.

Those who are always playing the Blame Game are usually people who feel like they have lost control over the situation. They do not want to be targeted as the only one responsible. It is an attempt to get justice for oneself but in a very selfish way. When you start blaming others, it shows a lack of confidence on your part and a lack of trust in others’ opinions of you as well.

Are You Playing the Game?

You may not be aware that you are playing the Blame Game. Here are some behaviors and habits that serve as symptoms that you are in this game.

Excluding Other People. Are you in a group that regularly excludes one or more members in discussions? You have the impression that this person is “weak” and need not be included. If you find yourself being excluded or you are excluding yourself voluntarily; then you are in this game.

Looking for A Target. When a situation seems to be going downhill; people tend to find a scapegoat to shift the blame on. Often, the target are usually individuals who are the least knowledgeable about the whole situation; or someone who is deemed gullible. They would not be able to identify the real culprits.

Denying Responsibility. When things don’t go as planned, people often shift blame away from themselves by denying that it was their responsibility in the first place. They might lie and find excuses by blaming other people or circumstances as the cause that prevented them from completing their tasks or duties.

Finding Fault Instead of Solutions. When the focus of a meeting becomes finding who’s at fault instead of finding a fix or a solution; then everyone is playing the Blame Game. Everyone becomes distrustful of each other and afraid that they might be targeted by everyone else.

How to Stop Playing the Blame Game

Playing the Blame Game as children is understandable. As adults, we are all capable of planning our actions ahead of time to get the most favorable results; so we shouldn’t end up playing this game. However, if you do find yourself playing this game; then you need to work on your self so you can stop playing the game.

Get to Know Yourself. If you don’t know yourself, then you won’t recognize your own faults. There are many ways to do this. One is to meditate so you can reflect on your self. Practice mindfulness so you can identify your behavior patterns, emotional triggers, etc. Learn more about your shadow side, your different personas. Write your bucket list so you can identify your goals and dreams and how you can work on them. Have a gratitude journal so you know what resources and blessings you have that you can use for your goals.

Invest in Yourself. If you do not want to be the target of blame and to become a more responsible adult; then you need to start investing more time and resources in becoming a better version of you. Read books, watch learning videos, take classes, listen to audio books. By investing in yourself; you can become more knowledgeable and skillful in your work or passion. Unleash your genius and surprise even yourself. Working on improving yourself will help you become a more responsible person and will enhance your self-confidence too.

Learn from Your Mistakes. The only way to not be scared of making mistakes is to have a learning mindset. Don’t be scared to take risks and try something new. Take each situation as an opportunity to learn instead of a setback. With a positive attitude; you will not be scared to take responsibility for your own mistakes. People who have this attitude usually attract other people who also have a responsible character and who can help you in your endeavors. These are the kind of people who will find a solution with you instead of finding blame for negative results.

Learn to Apologize Properly. Part of being a responsible individual is to know when and how to apologize properly. Being able to acknowledge your own faults and mistakes shows the strength of your character. It tells other people that you are confident and reliable enough to fix things when they don’t turn out well.

Express Your Gratitude. Don’t be shy in expressing your thanks to someone. Not only will this show your sincerity; it also means that you are confident enough to show your true self in front of others. An attitude of gratitude also enhances your trustworthiness in other people’s eyes. It may be awkward to do this at first, but practice makes perfect.

In order to stop blaming yourself and others; you need to start taking responsibility. If you can acknowledge your own faults, then you won’t be inclined to blame others. You can only do that when you know yourself better. By knowing yourself deeply; you’ll also be able to recognize what situations you can take responsibility for and which one’s you’d rather give to someone more capable. This means that you make less mistakes which also means less opportunities to play the blame game.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash.

Jan

2022

You Are A Product of Your Decisions

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Every moment of your life from the minute you wake up to the time you go to bed, you are making decisions. You have a choice whether to start a healthy morning routine or to stay in bed and procrastinate. You have a choice on what to consume on social media; either you read inspirational articles or absorb all the negativities and fake news that you can lay your eyes on. In short, it is all in your hands because you are a product of your decisions. You have a choice to be happy and be grateful or to be sad and be miserable. What is your choice?

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.
– Stephen Covey

Stop the Blame Game

Many people love to play the blame game. If something has gone wrong, these people will automatically blame other people, the government, an event, the state of affairs or their circumstances. These people actually learned the habit of justifying their negative situation by blaming others.

If you know somebody who loves to play the blame game, stay away. They are one of those toxic people that you should avoid. In school, you have learned that everything around you is matter. And matter is energy. So, there is positive and negative energy everywhere around you. Remember that like attracts like. If you don’t want to attract negative things into your life, learn to stay away from negative individuals.

But what if you are one of these people? Listen to yourself. If something goes wrong in your life, do you blame others or do you take responsibility for your actions? You see, success only happens to those who admit their shortcomings. Instead of blaming others, analyze what went wrong and learn from the experience. That is the only way to regain control of your life.

You Are A Product of Your Decisions

The truth is your life is a product of the decisions that you made. You are where you are today because of you not because of anything or anyone else. Whatever situation you are in right now, remember that you have a choice. It is up to you to create the results that you want. Make the decision now. Your future begins today!

If you are born poor, it’s not your mistake but if you die poor, it’s your mistake.
– Bill Gates

Edited Version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 12.14.2018

Feature Photo by Sebastian Voortman from Pexels

Jan

2022

Ways to Regain Control of Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Are you in control of your life? Or is life controlling you? In order to live a meaningful life, you need to be in control of it. Being in control is synonymous with knowing yourself and having a clear idea on what you want in life. Who you are and what do you want to be? It is your life. Unless you are a minor, you are supposed to be the one in charge. You can never really be happy or you may even feel exhausted if your life is being dictated by your environment. So, to help you, here are some ways to regain control of your life.

What does it Mean to Not Be in Control?

Are you a product of your environment? You will know you are, if your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions if you allow external events or people surrounding you control your decisions. For example, you wake in the morning and the first thing that you do is check your social media account. You saw bad news from an article and you let your whole day become affected by it. What happens is that you become reactive to the situation and thus, become a victim of the environment.

Ways to Regain Control of Your Life

Don’t live your life like this. Instead, regain control of your life through the following ways:

1.Step Back

The first step to regaining control of your life is to step back. You are probably lost in living your life that you are living on auto-pilot. Stop for a moment to calm yourself, think and assess your situation. Give yourself time to think about your life in a broader context. For example, you are lost in the forest. You have been walking around in circles for hours and still, you can’t find your way out. The best thing to do is to stop first. Take a rest. Assess your location. Instead of looking at the trees, you need to picture the whole forest to give you a better perspective on how to proceed from where you are.

2. Know What You Really Want

The second step to regaining control of your life is self-assessment. You need to know exactly what you want. Who are you? What makes you happy and sad? What is it that you really want to accomplish in life? You can start by creating your bucket list. Your goals will serve as the roadmap for your life.

3.Rank What Is Important For You

Based on what you really want in life, it is now time to rank what matters most to you. Is it your health? Wealth? Your relationships? Whatever it is you need to be honest with yourself. That’s the only way to move forward. You may not like the answer but it may be something that you have to address first. There are several dimensions of wellness. Rank them according to what is important to you now. Your preference will definitely change later on once you have addressed the more pressing issue.

4. Learn To Say No

When you say no to things, opportunities or requests; what you are actually doing is empowering yourself to make the decision. It means you are very clear on what you want and that you are firm with your preference. In a way, it cultivates a healthy relationship with the people around you. Do not be scared to offend others because you are just being honest. Saying yes too often, even if you don’t want to can lead to resentment. It can also be emotionally draining. This in turn will only hurt the relationship in the long run. And besides, saying no will allow you to have the time to say yes to what’s more important for you.

5.Listen To Your Intuition

Trust your gut feeling. It is when you immediately know something. For some reason, you just know and understand. Sometimes, it does not even make sense. But somehow you just know. That’s your intuition trying to tell you something.

You only have one life. Make it count!

Click here to get a free copy of Regain Control of Your Life worksheet.

Click here to watch the video.

Feature Photo by Bruno Henrique from Pexels

Jan

2022

Warning Signs That You Are Losing Control of Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Do you feel as if things are getting out of your control? Are you worried that your life is not going the way you wanted it to go? If these kind of thoughts are bothering you; then it’s time to take stock of your situation. You need to check if you are just being a worry wart, or if you are losing control of your life. See if any of the warning signs apply to your circumstances.

Lack of Energy or Motivation

If you are waking up in the morning feeling like you’d rather not get out of bed for days on end; then assess your self. Is it because you just lack sleep the nights before? Then, you should start developing good sleeping habits. You should also understand how you can best manage your energy. Are you always late for work because you dread the thought of going out and doing the same thing again? Feeling this way signals a lack of motivation on your part. Maybe you’re dreading work because you’re not enjoying it anymore. Try to see how you can make working more exciting for you. Remind yourself why you are working in the first place. Or, maybe your goals have changed and your current job doesn’t support that. Your job is a major life support system. If you are losing control of your life; then this area is one of the first to be affected.

Constant Forgetfulness

People who are in control of their lives are usually those who are mindful of the things that they need to do, even if they don’t put it on their schedules. These include fully charging your celfone and other devices.; turning appliances on/off when you go out and arrive home; watering your plants, even paying bills before the due date. If you find yourself forgetting things that should be regular habits; then this maybe a warning sign that you are losing control of your life. The small things are often ignored because they don’t seem significant. However, they affect life in a major way when not attended to. A dying celfone battery might cause you to miss out on an important call that could change your life for the better. If you keep forgetting the small things; you might miss out on the big things too.

Feeling Disconnected

You know it’s a friend’s birthday but you don’t greet them even thru a message. You think they have more important friends they’d rather hear from and your greeting isn’t such a big deal. Do you keep turning down social invites (even online ones)? Is it because you feel like you’ll just be a drag to your friends or you won’t contribute anything interesting to the conversation? Then you are not only missing out on a major part of your life. You are also losing your connection with important people. You might want to have more “me time” to sort things out if you are going through a challenging period in your life. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. But if you continue feeling disconnected with the people in your life; it could be a symptom of a bigger problem that you need to focus on to prevent worse consequences.

Negative Thoughts and Expectations

When you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, always anxious, always complaining, and always preparing for the worst in every situation; then there is definitely something wrong. Losing control of your thoughts and emotions are clear warning signs that you are losing control of your life. Being afraid to do something because things might go wrong is not a healthy mindset to be in. Always having negative thoughts and expectations could be a sign that you need the help of other people so you can wade through your doubts and fears. If you can’t love yourself enough to expect good things to happen to you; then good things won’t happen to you. You can’t expect other people to treat you better than you treat yourself. Making a sincere self-assessment will help you regain control of each area of your life.

If you want your life to change; then you need to replace what you usually do with what you haven’t done before. Taking control of your life means making small steps daily to help you reclaim control of each area of your life. Remember though that you can’t control everything in your life. You can only control your self and your own reactions. Your environment may not be under your control as well. It is not your responsibility to satisfy people’s expectations just as not everyone will agree with your thoughts and opinions. The best thing you can do is to focus on your own metamorphosis and work diligently on your own fresh start to a better life.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to guide you in your assessment.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Vesky on Unsplash.

Jan

2022

Are You A Product of Your Environment?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Are you a product of your environment?

You wake up in the morning. You look outside your window and you see dark clouds looming in the sky. By the glimpse of it, you know right away that it is going to be a long gloomy day. You check the news and you see the number of COVID cases rising, you feel scared and sad. On your way to work, someone recklessly cut in front of your car on the road. You got furious and you spent the rest of the day in a bad mood.

In a different scenario, your sports team has just won the championship. As a result, you feel ecstatic the whole week. How about when your crush complimented your new hair? For sure, you will be on cloud nine for days.

Reactive People

These scenarios are examples of how people become products of their environment. You may not like the idea but if you can relate to any of the situations, then you have been influenced by your environment. Although the degree of effect differs from one person to another; our thoughts, actions, behaviors, beliefs, emotions, feelings and habits are all dictated and influenced by external events. Eternal events are events that we do not have control over.

“I can’t do that”
“If only I have more money”
“I don’t have the time”
“It’s because the economy is not good”
“If only my boss is a little bit understanding”
“If only I have a better job”
“My parents forced me to take this course”

Sounds familiar? You will normally hear these statements from reactive people. Reactive people are people that allow external events to control their lives. By being reactive to situations, we become victims of our environment. We absolve ourselves from responsibility. Instead, what we do is we let the outside situation control the direction of our lives.

Aside from external events, the people around you also have the power to influence your thoughts, beliefs and decisions. Successful author and motivation speaker Jim Rohn stated that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.

Whether you like it or not, your peer group, normally the five people closest to you, are the people that influence you the most – from the food that you eat, to the clothes that you wear, even to the major decisions in your life. Peer pressure is not just true for teenagers, it is something that everyone can experience regardless of age. If your peer group has a negative mindset, chances are you also have a negative mindset. How you look at things is important because your mindset affects the direction of your life.

Proactive People

Instead of worrying about things that you cannot control, focus on things that you can control to change your situation. This is what proactive people do. Stephen Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People defined proactive people as persons who take responsibility for their lives. They are not mere products of their environment, instead they consciously choose to control their own lives. Proactive people choose happiness and success. They choose to have a positive attitude .

Your Choice

If you don’t wish to become a mere product of your environment, you can choose to become stronger and be highly selective on what you will allow yourself to be influenced with. You can choose to be sad, angry and frustrated or you can opt to become happy and grateful instead. In the same way, you can choose to wallow in self-pity and remain a victim all your life or you can do something to change your situation.

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
-Epictetus

You can control your life better and reach your goals easier if only you can become a little choosy with the people you spend most of your time with. It needs to be a conscious decision on your part to hang out more with positive minded individuals. This does not mean dumping your old friends and family. They will forever have a special place in your heart but devote most of your time to positive individuals.

Don’t be just a mere product of your environment. Stop playing the victim. Take responsibility for your life. Choose to be happy and successful.

Click here to get a copy of the Take Control of Your Life worksheet.

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First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 07.12.2019

Feature Photo by Spencer Selover from Pexels

Dec

2021

Questions to Ask Yourself When You Are in A Crossroad

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you have an unsettling feeling that something has to change? Are you suspecting that you are experiencing a mid-life crisis, facing a fork in the road, or stuck in an intersection in your life’s journey? All these phrases are what we use to describe a crossroad in our life. We will all be experiencing a crossroad at different stages in our life.

The 7 Year Itch

Have you ever heard the term, “the 7-year itch”? It is a phrase usually used to refer to the time when relationships are most likely to get into trouble. There seems to be a pattern that things tend to change drastically every 7 years. For example, couples who dated for several years usually end breaking up on the 7th year; married couples end up divorcing on the 7th year, and so on.

This pattern not only applies to relationships but also to larger groups of people such as in business, as well as in our individual journey through life. If you review your life, you will see that things tend to change every 7 years as well. At 7 years old, you go to school with other kids, then at 14 is when puberty hits you. At 21, you graduate from college and enter the work force; then at 28 is when people mostly start thinking about marriage.

In short, life tends to change drastically in some way every 7 years. Thus, you feel an itch to change something in your life every 7 years too. If you don’t change something, then you get stuck in that crossroad and you’ll just prolong your suffering by not relieving that itch to transform your life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you are in a crossroad in your life right now; here are some questions to ask yourself so you can start making some changes.

What aspect in your life do you want to improve on? Maybe there is an area of your life that you have neglected and that you need to focus on. It might be your health or some of your relationships. You might have a hobby that you want to take up again and hone your skills on. Or you might want to ask for a promotion or even make a career change.

What is it that you really hope to achieve? Most of us are too shy to admit it but we all hope to leave something behind for our family, or even the whole world, to enjoy and remember us by. No matter how small or big; everyone wants to leave a legacy that can benefit future generations. You might share the same vision with others and you can work together to build such a legacy.

What are the pros and cons of your decision? Decisions always have its pros and cons. You can consult your friends and family as well as experts for help. Your own life experience will also help you make an informed decision. Take the time to think and determine how much of a risk you are willing to take to change your life for the better.

What are you afraid of? Sometimes the scariest decisions end up the most rewarding. When we face our fears, we open ourselves up to more possibilities. Being in a crossroad gives you the chance to overcome your fears and come out a better person. Get the support of your family and friends, or even professionals, to help you succeed.

What is your instinct telling you? Have you ever experienced having a strong feeling in your gut that’s telling you to do or not do something? If you followed it, you usually end up being right. However, most people ignore their gut feeling, or instinct, or intuition. In fact, it is a useful tool to guide you in making life-changing decisions. A crossroad is an opportunity to start using it.

Will you be harming/offending other people with your decision? We always consider the effects of our decisions on other people. However, you have to keep in mind that you can only control your own actions. You can tell others about your decision so they don’t get surprised later on, but you cannot control their own reactions. There is no need to get into an argument or cut off relationships; you can just agree to disagree on this one point.

Are you worried about what other people will think? You cannot please everyone all the time, so you just have to accept that there will always be negative feedback from some quarters. Don’t take things too personally. Just keep in mind that those who need to understand your decisions will understand and those who can’t understand don’t need to. Focus on your goal and don’t get distracted by gossip or rumors.

How will the change affect your life? You are trying to change your life so focus on the long-term change that this will bring about. Ideally, the effect should be positive and will also affect those around you positively. Of course, you can’t please everyone but if you and the majority of your tribe can enjoy the effects of the changes you are making in your own life; then that should be reason enough to make a change.

Time for Transformation

Asking yourself these questions involves a lot of self-reflection. Pick the one question that resonates with you the most and try to figure out your answer to that. Although you do need to take into account how the change you want to do will affect everyone around you; remember that your own growth is important so you can help others as well. Each of us has our own journey in life so we cannot continue living our life according to the standards of others. Expect that in the process of your metamorphosis; some things will fall away and others will come to replace it. You might need to let go of a lot of things including letting go of friendships and old beliefs.

A crossroad in life is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. If you are feeling the need to scratch that 7-year itch; do so but be gentle with yourself. Change is needed for growth. However, you don’t need to abandon all that you have worked for in the past. Sometimes, a small change will do the trick. For others, a bigger change maybe needed. It all depends on what you are feeling inclined to do. The important thing is that you listen to your intuition, you believe in yourself, and you take action to change something so you are not stuck in the same old pattern.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash.

Dec

2021

Letting Go This Christmas Season

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It’s Christmas once again. Colorful lights can be seen around. There are Christmas parties everywhere. Many people are busy buying and giving Christmas presents. With consumerism at its highest peak, how can we still truly enjoy the spirit of Christmas? Although Christmas is all about giving, it is not so much about the presents but rather the meaning behind the presents. It is more than just the festivities, parties and the reunions. Instead, it is all about family and togetherness. However, being together with loved ones is not enough. Because Christmas is not just a season but a state of mind. It is a chance to be at peace with oneself and others. That’s why it is important to be letting go this Christmas Season. Only by letting go will we be able to truly appreciate and enjoy the true spirit of Christmas.

What do we need to let go?

1.Expectations

What gifts are you expecting to receive this Christmas? Are you waiting for someone? Are you looking forward to the Christmas festivities? You will have a very joyous Christmas if all your expectations are met. But, what if it does not? Will you let it spoil your holidays?

You see, expectations differ from one person to another. Your expectations are different from the other person. Chances are, your ideal perfect holiday experience or gift is different from your loved ones. For one, all of us have different love languages. It is not someone else’s fault that your expectations are not met. It’s not their problem. It’s yours. You just have to learn to deal with it. Second, accept the fact that we cannot control others. The only thing that we can control is how we react to certain situations. Understand this and learn to take hold of your emotions.

2.Grudges

Somebody criticized you. Your partner left you or maybe you have had a traumatic experience. These wounds can be very painful and can stay for a long time. However, if you won’t learn to forgive; you will only succeed in hurting yourself. The other person may simply not care or may not be even aware that you have been hurt by their actions. The peace of mind that you have been longing for can only be possible by letting go because forgiveness can lead to emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. You are doing it for yourself not for others. Just remember that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting or reconciliation with the person that harmed you. It only means moving on with your life.

3. Past

Past is past. Period. There is nothing that we can do to undo it. The only thing that we can do is to learn from it. In this way, you can avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. Holding on to our past can only hold us back. Healing can only come if we let go of the past.

4.Unnecessary Spending

The Christmas season is not a ticket to splurge, especially if you cannot afford something. Do not put yourself in credit card debt just because it is Christmas. Learn to stick to your budget. That reward to yourself can be given anytime. It does not have to be Christmas. Practice delayed gratification. And don’t try to impress others with extravagant gifts. You can’t buy love.

5. Worries

Yes, all of us have problems. But nothing will come out of it if we continue worrying about them. No one knows what the future will bring. We just have to have faith and belief in ourselves.

Spend this holiday season with people that are dear to you. Let go of all those things that are weighing you down. Practice letting go this Christmas season.

Have a happy and blessed Christmas everyone!

Feature Photo by Nicole Michalou from Pexels

Dec

2021

Letting Go: Clearing and Healing Your Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Humans are sentimental beings and because of this; most of us are very bad at the practice of “letting go”. We horde memories, mementos, items, and even relationships because of how they make us feel. Even if some of them makes us feel unpleasant and uncomfortable; we keep them because they have become familiar to us. They have become part of our comfort zone.

However, staying in our comfort zone is not what we’re made for. We have to keep learning by experiencing new things, overcoming challenges, having fun, overcoming our fears, and many more wonderful encounters. This is what our bucket list is for. We should be constantly in the process of transforming ourselves as we work for our dreams.

Why We Need to Let Go

While we acquire things that we enjoy; we also need to let go of things from time to time. Just like a computer; we have a finite space for the things we want to keep. So we need to delete some files that we don’t need or use anymore so we don’t bog down our computer and we have space for updates. Similarly, in our life; we need to let go for many reasons.

We need to clear out old clutter that are only taking up space in our minds and in our environment. This will help us clear a path and space for the things we actually want to keep and the new things we want to have.

Letting go allows us to have a clearer mind so we can focus on what we really want and avoid distractions. It also starts the healing process for old traumas. By letting go of excess mental, emotional, physical, social and environmental baggage; we feel lighter in our mind, heart and body. We get a sense of freedom because nothing is holding us back anymore; or at the very least, our burdens have been lessened.

What and How to Let Go

If you are ready to let go; then take pen and paper and start writing down the things you need and want to let go. To help you decide what things to let go of, consider these criteria:

Things that have served their purpose in your life and are just taking up space.
Things that are holding you back from what you want to do or to be.
Things that you are not aligned with anymore based on your new goals.

These criteria will surely give you a lot of ideas on what to let go. It is helpful to break things down even more by asking yourself some guide questions.

Letting Go from Head to Toe

Start thinking about the things that you need to let go by reviewing yourself from head to toe. Ask yourself some guide questions for each section.

Mind: This is about your mindset, thought patterns, limiting beliefs.

What old thought patterns do I need to let go?
What limiting beliefs do I need to let go?
What things do I need to unlearn?
What materials / media do I consume that I need to stop consuming?

Words: This is about how you talk to your self as well as how you communicate with other people.

What things do I tell my self that I need to let go?
What words should I let go from my vocabulary?
What things do I say to other people that I need to let go?
What books or materials do I read or consume that I need to let go?

Body: This is about your self-image and the feedback about your self that you get from others.

What beliefs and experiences does my body have that I need to let go?
Do I have uncomfortable sensations in my body that I want to let go?
What bad habits does my body have that I need to let go?
What do I use or put on and into my body that I need to let go?

Relationships: This is about your social attachments and the mental and emotional baggage that you are carrying from these interactions.

Do I have toxic people in my life that I need to let go?
Do I have friends who I feel I need to let go?
Do I have work or business partnerships that I need to let go?
Is there a relationship situation that I want to move on from?

Environment: This is about the external stimuli that triggers you and your environment that influences you.

Are there things in my home that have served their purpose and are just lying around taking up space?
Are there things in my space that do not serve a purpose anymore?
Are there items and fixtures in my surroundings that I have an excess off that I need to let go?
Are there spots in my space that feel suffocating or heavy that I need to clear out?

Ho’oponopono: Healing Chant

After you have written your list; take a deep breath and close your eyes for a bit to calm yourself. The next step is to acknowledge the things you are letting go and releasing them back into the Universe. To do this, you can use the Ho’oponopono. It is a forgiveness and healing prayer from Hawaii. The prayer can be long but you can use the brief version as a chant.

I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.

The prayer helps you to acknowledge and be grateful for the lessons and usefulness of the things that have served their purpose in your life. It is also a way to clear your space and your self of unpleasant and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings so you can start healing them. Finally, it helps you to accept things as they are, and to forgive yourself and others from all that has happened so you can move forward.

As you read each item on your list; say the chant for each item. Repeat the process until you have finished all the items in your list.

Releasing Your Self

Once you are done going over your list, it is time to release these old energies to complete the letting go process. A good way to do this is to burn the list and visualize all the feelings in those items being released back to the Universe. This is a signal to the Universe that you have actually let go and you are moving into a new direction in your life. As you watch the list burn, repeat the Ho’oponopono chant again until the list has turned to ashes. Take as much time as you need to bask in the freedom that you feel after this ritual.
Ideally, you should do this ritual outdoors, surrounded by nature. Think, bonfire by the beach. But if this is not possible; it could be as simple as burning your list where you have a view of the outdoors.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to guide you in this process.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash.

Dec

2021

What To Do When You Don’t Know What You Want

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone of us has had the experience or feeling of not knowing what they want to do in one area of their life, or even with the rest of their life. Young people start by trying to figure out their place in the world; but adults experience this too. We usually call this a “mid-life crisis”, or an “existential crisis”, or even an “identity crisis”. Indeed, not knowing what you want or suddenly not knowing what to do with the rest of your life is a scary experience. So, what to do when you don’t know what you want?

For young and old alike, not knowing what you want is usually due to being overwhelmed by the number of things to choose from or from a feeling of having no choice at all. In both cases, you are scared, confused and undecided. You feel helpless and uncertain about the future because you lack direction. Unfortunately, not many people will have someone beside them to point them in the right direction or to tell them what steps they should take next.

If you are in this situation, don’t lose hope. Pluck up your courage instead and do something about it. Trying to know what you want is a big, life challenge. Here are some things you can do to clear the confusion in your head and heart and reset your life.

Focus on The Now

The future is uncertain so don’t let your fears of the “what ifs” scare you. Instead, focus on what you want right now. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: “If money and time are not an issue, what do I want to do?”

There is no right or wrong answer to this question and there might not even be just one answer. So write your answers on paper and list them down as they come to you. You are creating your bucket list of goals and dreams. By creating this list, you are focusing on getting to know what you want. You are starting to clear out the uncertainty in your life and focusing on the things that you are certain about. This is your vision for your future.

For example, you might put down on your list the places you want to travel to, a business you want to start, your desire to be fit and healthy, a wish to learn to sing, your goal of financial freedom, etc. Your answers may seem broad and general, but this puts your goals in focus and they will serve as the direction to help you figure out what to do next. You might want to find a hobby or rekindle a long-forgotten passion that you had as a child thru this list. Already, you are prioritizing things in the order that you list them down but you can always order them as you want once you have your list. Consider this your fresh start.

Plan Out Your Next Steps

Once you’ve written down your list, work on the most important items first. This can be the easiest ones to accomplish or the ones that you need to work on right away. Make a plan on how you can start pursuing that goal. The plan doesn’t need to be detailed; it is just a sketch that will guide you as you go through your journey. It will help you know what you want and need to do and keep you on track with your goals.

You may have more than one thing you want to do for different aspects of your life and that’s quite normal. Your first step is important. Make sure you start small and don’t take on too much at once. Sketching out a plan on how to work on each goal in your daily life is a good start. Start with baby steps. Think of small things you can do each day to move you forward towards your goals. This will help you develop the mindset and the habits you need to succeed. You can worry about the details when you need to later on. The important thing at the moment is to have a plan to reach your goals. This is YOUR LIFE SKETCH which you will flesh out as you figure out the next steps along the way.

Act On Your Next Steps Immediately

Now that you know what you want and need to do; you can work on your first steps right away. Your plan serves as an outline or road map to reach your goals. If you need to ask help from friends or family members, colleagues or other professionals, do it. Don’t hesitate at the start of your journey. This is the time to be decisive. Yes, the future is still uncertain but you are certain of what you want right now and what you can do right now; ACT ON IT.

Once you’ve taken the first steps, the feedback you get from the people around you and from your own feelings should guide you to your next course of action. Remember that working on yourself is not an easy process. Take it one step at a time. Don’t worry too much about the future; the important thing is to start and to START RIGHT NOW.

One more important thing to keep in mind in this journey to self-discovery is to believe in yourself, keep an open mind, and an attitude of gratitude. Even when you don’t feel like it; challenge yourself to show up everyday for your goals. Even if you’re just sitting in front of your desk unable to do the work; you can still use the time to visualize your goals. Trust that things will fall into place as you keep doing your best to pursue your dreams.

Whether young and confused, or in a “mid-life crisis”, or experiencing an “existential crisis”, or going through an “identity crisis”; don’t panic. Take a deep breath, get pen and paper and start writing your “What I Want to Do” list or your Bucket List. This may seem silly at first, but it will help you know what you want and you can gain a deeper understanding about yourself. More importantly, it will serve as a light to the path you should take when you feel like you’re in a dark place in your life.

Updated. First posted on 2020.01.18.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash.