positive people

Oct

2021

Stay Away From Negative People

Reading Time: 2 minutes

There are a million and one reasons why you should stay away from negative people. For one, it is hard to be grateful and happy when you are around them because they always see the bad side of things. Being with them is always stressful. They drain your energy. Negative people are also highly contagious. They influence your thoughts, behaviors and feelings. And worse, before you know it; you too have become a negative person.

Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.
– Albert Einstein

It takes lots of courage to accept the fact that you need saving. The words ‘save me‘ are not something that are easily uttered by just anyone. However, it is just the first step.

The second step is equally important. It involves the people around you. The people and environment plays a crucial role in turning your life for the better.

Your Environment Matters

For example, you have been failing in your exams. And you have finally decided that enough is enough. But you have been hanging out with friends who would rather skip class than go to school. Your goal will be easier to achieve if you spend more time with people who actually study.

This is true with almost anything in life. You want to quit smoking? Then, stop spending time with people who smoke. Do you want to have good health? Then start hanging out with people who take care of their bodies.

To become a positive person, it is important to be wary of the people around you. What kind of people do you normally hang out with? Do they make you a better person? Do they lift you up or do they pull you down? You see, people have the tendency to become the average of the five people they spend the most time with. So if you want to become happy and successful in life; spend more time with happy, grateful and proactive persons.

Spend time with people who know how to use their days well. Just as iron sharpens iron, positive people will inspire you to be positive.
-Rihanna

Update version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 01.16.2019.

Feature Image by CreativeMagic from Pixabay

Jul

2021

5 Tips on How To Become More Positive

Reading Time: 2 minutes

What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want a happy life or a life full of pain and sadness? For sure, no one wants to live a life full of drama but the irony is that most people choose drama. Yes, you read it correctly. The keyword here is choose because happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or sad. However, it is easier said than done. What if you are in pain? What if you feel that you are in the lowest point of your life right now? But before you give up, tell yourself not today. Give yourself a chance. Choose to be happy by changing your focus from the negative to the positive. Research suggests that anyone can choose happiness simply by having a positive attitude about life. Here are 5 tips on how to become more positive.

1. Focus on the Good Things

Life will always have its ups and downs. As human beings, it is normal to feel happy, sad, hopeful, excited, frustrated, angry and all other emotions. The important thing is to ask yourself what do you focus on? Do you dwell in your negative emotions? Do you wallow in pain even long after the negative event has happened? Remember that what you focus on expands. If you focus on the positive, you life will become bright and joyful. If you focus on the negative, your life will be full of sorrow and pain.

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment rather than thinking of the past nor the future. The practice of mindfulness has many benefits such as relieving stress, improving sleep and lowering blood pressure. It also improves memories, attention skills and help regulates your emotions.

3. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? If you surround yourself with positive, happy and successful people, you too will be positive, happy and successful. Stay away from negative people if you don’t want to be a negative person as well.

4. Be Grateful

Start a gratitude journal. Always start your day by writing three things you are grateful for. This daily habit will make you feel more positive emotions by remembering all the goods things that happened in your life on a regular basis. It will help you value your relationships more and see your blessings which in turn will lead to a happier life.

5. Help Others

Numerous psychological studies reveal that it is in giving, rather than receiving that we feel longer lasting happiness. Apparently, when we give to others, it activates a region in our brain that is associated with pleasure, trust and social connection. Being generous will make us feel good. So, give yourself the gift of happiness by helping others.

6. Smile

And lastly, don’t forget to smile. Smile even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t underestimate the power of a smile. A simple can do wonders. Smiling can help reduces stress. It helps build confidence. And it also makes you look more attractive. So, smile.

First Published in Pinoy Smart Living on 09.08.2019

Feature Photo by Binti Malu from Pexels

Jan

2021

The Power of Hope in Our Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The power of hope is often mentioned only in times of crisis. In fact, it is a major component in motivating us to work hard to succeed in our goals. We know that being successful is a hard process. There are a lot of sacrifices before victory is achieved. One goes through many ups and downs during the journey.

During the down times, it is always hard to keep going forward; to stop ourselves from quitting; to decide to keep going on. It is during these times that our determination matters the most. What motivates us to keep going on is our hope for better things to come.

What is Hope?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines hope as “desire accompanied by expectation of, or belief in fulfillment.” The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “something good that you want to happen in future, or a confident feeling about what will happen in the future.”

What these definitions have in common is the concept of hope as a desire for a better future. But in reality, we always don’t get what we hope for. Yet we still hope. We have an intrinsic belief that as long as we have hope, things will always turn out for the best.

I am prepared for the worst but hope for the best.
Benjamin Disraeli

This concept is hard to define or describe. Dr. Jerome Groopman, M.D. defines hope based on what his patients taught him as an oncologist for 30 years. He was quoted by Dr. Asa Andrew in his book The Anatomy of Health:

Hope is one of our central emotions, but we are often at a loss when asked to define it. Many of us confuse hope with optimism, a prevailing attitude that things will turn out for the best. But hope differs from optimism. Hope does not arise from being told to think positively, or from hearing an overly rosy forecast.

Hope, unlike optimism, is rooted in unalloyed reality. Although there is no uniform definition of hope, I found one that seemed to capture what my patient had taught me. Hope is the elevating feeling we experience when we see — in the mind’s eye — a path to a better future. Hope acknowledges the significant obstacles and deep pitfalls along that path. True hope has no room for delusion.
Dr. Jerome Groopman, M.D.

The Power of Hope

Hope is more than optimism or positivity. It is not just an attitude or a mindset; it is more of a belief. A belief in oneself as well as a belief in a power bigger than you. This belief also assumes that there is someone or something outside of you, that is more powerful than you, that is looking after you and helps you when you need it most. All you need is to ask and believe, and continue believing even when it seems you are being pulled in another direction.

If you read the autobiographies of many successful individuals; you will find that most of them never lost hope in times of crisis. In fact, their hope became stronger during these times. They surrender to a power beyond themselves. They believed in that power to help them get through their struggles. That is why they never gave up on their dreams. Sometimes, they didn’t get what they want. But because they kept working hard towards their goals, they always found a way to succeed; even if it wasn’t in the original way they intended to.

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite the darkness.
Desmond Tutu

There are many stories to attest to the power of hope in our lives. From miracles to coincidences, serendipity, and even the sight of a beautiful sunrise; we find hope every where, every day as long as we keep believing. The power of hope is what enables us to still keep on smiling, despite the negative circumstances.

What are your hopes for this new year? What are you hopeful for each day?

Feature Image: Original Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash.

Nov

2020

Believe in Yourself

Reading Time: 2 minutes

You are special. You have gifts and talents that are uniquely yours. All you need to do is to believe in yourself. Know that you are enough and that you have what it takes to be successful. Just let go of your fears and self-doubt. Be confident.

No matter how stressful the situation you are in right now, believe that you can overcome this challenge. You need to have faith in your own capabilities. Be strong!

Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
– Christian D. Larson

Your Goals

Start by redefining your goals. What may be working before may no longer work today. Then, do one small step a day towards your goals. Do this consistently over time.

Simple daily disciplines – little productive actions, repeated consistently over time – add up to the difference between failure and success.
– Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge

Stumbling Blocks

If you fail, it is okay. You can rise back up again. After all, failure is part of success. The most successful people persevered. They were able to rise above their circumstances. If others can do it, why can’t you? Learn the lessons and move on.

There will be people around who are going to make you doubt yourself. However, it is up to you if you are going to let them influence how you see yourself. Before letting their words and actions hurt you, it is best to ask yourself first who are these people? What are their intentions? Do they have your best interests at heart? Where are they coming from? You should learn to identify the toxic people that you should avoid. Do not allow their negative remarks to occupy your mind. Do not let them affect how you see yourself.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

If you know your self-worth, no amount of negative words or situations can make you feel inferior. Remember, the choice is yours and yours alone. You gave the consent. You allowed them to make you feel small and miserable. Don’t let it happen again.

Love Yourself

Learn to trust and love yourself. Believe in your infinite potential. You can do it!

Edited version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 03.27.2019

Nov

2020

10 Toxic People That You Should Avoid

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Toxins are everywhere – from the food that we eat to the things that we use. They are even in the air that we breathe and the water that we drink. Just like in the food, air and water; they can also be found in the people around you. Daily exposure to toxins is poisonous, harmful and dangerous to the body. It leads to sickness, diseases and even death if not flushed out from the body. In the same way, that too much exposure with toxic people can affect your overall health, happiness and success. We may not be able to totally avoid it but we can reduce our toxic exposures by doing things like not eating canned goods, avoiding plastic water bottles and going organic. Likewise, we should also avoid exposures to toxic people. But how to identify the toxic people? Here are 10 toxic people that you should avoid.

Generally, toxic people spread negativity. They are highly contagious. They drain your energy. You are better off avoiding them at all cost since they can create chaos around you. If you spend too much time with them, you might even end up like them. Remember, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with .

Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.
– Mandy Hale

1.The Arrogant

Arrogant persons are people who act superior than others. They think of themselves as more important, thus, they disrespect and put others down. They think that their thoughts, beliefs and experiences are way better than others. Some people become arrogant because of the success that they have accomplished in life. They want others to appreciate them to boost their self-worth. On the other hand, for some people, their arrogance is actually a self-defense mechanism to hide their insecurities and inferiority complex.

An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with a person’s main task in life – becoming a better person.
-Leo Tolstoy

2. The Complainer

Complainers are people who think that the world is out to get them. They perceive themselves as perpetual victims. They don’t see themselves as negative people, instead they see the whole world in a negative light and they are merely voicing out their annoyance to all the unfortunate events happening around them. Complainers are people who are looking for understanding, sympathy and emotional validation.

When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it, all else is. madness.
– Eckhart Tolle

3. The Critic

Critics are people who are skeptical about things. They often criticize and oppose everything and everyone around them. They will sabotage any new ideas and they will keep you from achieving your highest potential. Critics are actually people who have a lot of fears in their lives. They don’t have the courage to take risks. Their statements are actually projections of their own fears and worries.

Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.
– Zig Ziglar

4. The Envious

All persons experience an occasional feeling of envy. We are after all humans. This emotion arises when we see someone who is better than us whether it be their beauty, intelligence, wealth or success. Envious people however, take their jealousy to the next level. They let their feelings control them to the point that they begin to hate the other person. On extreme cases, they even harm the person they are envious of. This stems from their inferiority complex. They feel worthless deep inside that they subconsciously developed the habit of comparing themselves to others.

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.
– Harold Coffin

5. The Gossipmonger

People who like to gossip derive pleasure in the misfortunes of others. It might be fun and entertaining at first but spreading confidential information and offensive judgements eventually gets tiring and uncomfortable. You will only end up hurting other people. Gossipmongers are persons who are unhappy, envious and attention-seekers. They want to feel superior and better about themselves by highlighting the problems of others.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

6. The Liar

Liars are people who lie all the time. They believe that they are smarter than everyone else and that their lies will never be found out. It is hard to trust these people because you never know what to believe. Doubt and mistrust will always be present in the relationship. Remember that they never keep their promises. If they lie to you about themselves and about others, there is a big probability that they will lie to others about you too.

When someone lies to you, it’s because they don’t respect you enough to be honest, and they think you’re too stupid to know the difference.
– Unknown

7. The Narcissist

Have you ever had a conversation with somebody whom you can’t get a word in? Narcissist people love to talk about themselves. They think the world revolves around them. They are not concerned about anything else. Narcissists don’t ask questions nor will they ask you how you are doing. Even if they do, they won’t wait for your responses. Professionals argued that a narcissistic personality is linked to a parent-child relationship. They are people who either have narcissistic parents or they received excessive pampering as a child.

The narcissist doesn’t question himself. He never wonders if he is at fault. Why? Because in his mind he is never wrong. You are.
– unknown

8. The Party Animal

It is all right to party, have fun and go out occasionally. The body needs to unwind every now and then to relieve some stress. However, doing it excessively can be disastrous not only for your wallet but also for your health, productivity and overall well-being. Party animals are sad and depressed individuals. They try to escape the reality of their lives and seek temporary comfort through heavy partying.

IF you want to become a party animal, you have to learn to love in the jungle.
– Kelly LeBrock

9. The Puppeteer

Puppeteers are expert manipulators. They deliberately exploit the other person for their own benefit. Be careful, puppeteers are disguise as good friends. They are the friendliest, most accommodating and they will flatter you with words that you want to hear. Unfortunately, they are only nice to you because they want something in return. You will be taken advantage of over and over again as long as you let them control you. They are self-centered individuals whose words and actions are intended to seduce and impress you so they can achieve their aim.

People who feel the need to control others, don’t have control over themselves.
– Unknown

10. The Temperamental

Temperamental persons are persons whose moods change very quickly. One minute everything seems perfectly normal, the next thing that you know that person can turn into a monster. They are very hot-headed and irritable. They are also bad-tempered and moody. Controlling their own emotions is not their forte. Being with them will make you the receiving end of their negative emotions. They can even embarrass you in public or worse, they can hurt you. As a result, you will forever be walking on egg shells being around these people.

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend or new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owes up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries or continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
– Daniell Koepke

Updated version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 19.09.2018.

Feature Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay Images.

Sep

2020

How To Be Happy in Difficult Times

Reading Time: 3 minutes

This pandemic has caught everyone by surprise. We woke up one day and the world is different. Suddenly, it is like we are all living inside a science-fiction movie. We watch in horror as we see the number of people dying all around the world. What is COVID? How did this thing even happen? And even if we find the vaccine soon, the world will no longer be the same again. As we struggle to adapt to the new normal, another crisis is in the corner – the global economic crisis brought about by this pandemic. It’s not just a health issue now; there is still the challenge on how to survive this economic crisis. In times like this, it is difficult to be happy, much less stay sane. So, how to be happy in difficult times?

Below are some tips on how to be happy in difficult times:

1.Focus on What you Have NOT on What you Don’t Have

What’s the first thing that you do in the morning? if you have a habit of watching the news or checking your social media, then it is time to change your habit. The news will be full of bad things happening around you while your social media will contain things that others have that you don’t have. Instead of that, why not start a gratitude journal and write down at least three things that you are grateful for. By doing this simple thing, you are shifting your focus from the negative to the positive. Then you are starting your day on a positive note. Through this habit, you will be surprised that you can easily find joy in the little things in life.

The earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have, and not obsess about what you don’t have, the happier you will be.
– Amy Poehler

2.Accept Things That You Cannot Change

Many of us gets frustrated with things that are beyond our control. The pandemic, the past and other people are just some of the things that we have no control over. The sooner we accept that we cannot change these things, the sooner we will be happy.

In order to fully accept the situation, you need to go through a process of grieving first. Go ahead, cry your heart out. Feel the sadness and the pain. It’s okay to not be okay for some time. But don’t let it consume you. After some time, you need to start living your life again.

Focus on the things that you can change. You cannot control the pandemic but you can protect yourself from diseases. You may be buried in debt but you can slowly improve your finances through financial literacy. Learn to differentiate the things that you can and cannot change.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
– Reinhold Niebuhr

3. Surround Yourself with Happy, Positive Individuals

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most of your time with? If you surround yourself with positive people, you will also have a positive attitude in life. In the same way that if you spend too much time with toxic individuals like those people who complain a lot, then you will also end up feeling down. Be wise. Be choosy about the people you hang out with.

You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.
– Jim Rohn

4. Find your Purpose

It may sound cliche, but things really do happen for a reason. There is a lesson with all this like how important our health is as well as the environment. The important thing here is to learn the lesson and move on. A purpose will give us the reason to move on. Life is not a steady path, there will always be bumps and obstacles along the way. Having a clear goal, will keep us walking on that path amidst the challenges. So, find your purpose. Unleash the genius within you. Your purpose is always connected with your gifts, talents and passion.

He who has why to live can bear almost any how.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Feature Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay Images

Jun

2020

People You Need in Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

No man is an island. According to the longest study on happiness, we all need healthy and fulfilling relationships with other people in order to be truly happy. However, not all relationships are the same. There are varying degrees of closeness. There are people you need in your life, those who are really close to us. These people have significant influence in our lives while there are others who are mere acquaintances.

It is important to have a clear understanding of the different levels so that you will be able to discern your relationship with each individual. In this way, it is easy to set boundaries on the friendship. After all, not everyone can be your best friend.

The Dunbar Number

According to a theory formulated by Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist and psychologist from the University of Oxford, based on the size of the human brain; an average person can have 150 persons on his/her social group. This is the maximum number of persons that we can have a relationship with. More than that would just be mere acquaintances. Out of this 150, about 50 are considered as close friends. Close friends are those who you hang out with, go to parties or dinner with. You see them often but you don’t really confide in them. Out of this 150, about 15 are your confidants. You talk about each other’s lives and you confide in them. Out of this number, only 5 serve as your support group. To put it simply, out of all your facebook friends or instagram followers, you only have a genuine relationship with 150 of them.

Now, let’s go to your support group, your top 5. Who are your type 5? Your top five plays a very important part in your life. Have you heard that you are the average of the five persons you spend most of your time with? Yes, you are the average of your support group. They have a big influence on either your success or failure in life. That is why it is important to be choosy when it comes to your support group.

Your magic five can serve as your inspiration, balance, encouragement, challenge and supporter.

The Five People You Need in Your Life

1.The Cheerleader

A cheerleader by definition is someone who supports you. This person is your biggest fan. Your cheerleader can be your parent, sibling, spouse, best friend or boss. He/she is your greatest source of encouragement, someone who lifts you up when you are down and someone who stays behind when others have left.

2.The Mentor

Everyone wants to be successful in life. Unfortunately, the road to success is not easy. It is full of challenges and hardships. Success rewards only the bravest and those who are willing to persevere. A mentor is someone who has taken that same road before. He/she is someone who is already successful in that particular field. A mentor can provide you with knowledge and information that you need in order to shorten your journey to success.

3.The Brutally Honest

Let’s face it, there are certain circumstances in life wherein you are on the wrong path and no one around you is brave enough to tell you the harsh truth. Well, that’s the reason why you need someone who is brutally honest in your inner circle. You need somebody who will tell you that truth not just people who tells you what you want to hear. It is the only way for you to remain grounded and that to ensure that you are on the correct path.

4. The Energizer

Life is full of challenges. It can be draining at times. That is why it is important to have fun to keep yourself sane. This is the role of the energizer in your life. That person is your go to friend if you want to have fun. He/she picks you up when you are down and gives you strength and energy. The energizer is full or positivity and enthusiasm about life. There is never a dull moment with the energizer around.

5. The Like-Minded

The collaborator is somebody with similar interests. The two of you shares the same passion, hobbies, food, music and other activities together. He/she is someone that serves as your companion and partner in doing things that you enjoy. You are very compatible together.

Find these five people that you need in your life to help you live a successful and fulfilling life.

Feature Image by florentiabuckingham from Pixabay Images

May

2020

Do You Take Life Too Seriously?

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Life is supposed to be fun and easy but it doesn’t seem to feel that way. For most people, fun and easy experiences can be said to be few and far in between. At an early age, we were taught that life is a constant struggle to achieve our goals. Once we have achieved our goals, then we can enjoy more fun and easy days ahead.

There are a lucky few for whom having fun comes easy. Then there are other people who have the ability to make anything look fun while juggling life’s responsibilities. While the rest of us are struggling, why is it that some people are able to live their days less stressfully?

An obvious answer would be that these people are just not taking life too seriously. How can we do the same?

How Seriously Do You Take Life?

First, let us check how seriously do you take life? If you answer YES to half or more of these questions, then you are indeed taking everything way too seriously.

Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself or looking silly?
Are you unable to make jokes about yourself?
Do you easily get offended by other people’s remarks or behavior towards you?
Are you terrified of making a mistake?
Are you overly self-conscious of how other people see you as?
Do you always feel frustrated and stressed when things don’t go as you expected?
Are you constantly worrying about the smallest things?
Are you always thinking of what could go wrong in a given situation?
Have you often been told that you “can’t take a joke” or that you “take things too personally”?
Are you always thinking of a Plan B or C, etc., to combat uncertainty?

If you are taking things way too seriously, here are some reasons why you don’t have to do that.

Why You Shouldn’t Take Life Too Seriously

Life is Stranger Than Fiction

It just is. We all know this for a fact. Have you experienced coincidences, good or bad, which you can’t explain? Even scientists admit that there are so many things in the world that remain unexplainable or are yet to be explained.

There are so many coincidences between fiction novels and real life. Sometimes it is hard to say whether life is imitating art or art is imitating life.

The Rich Aren’t Always the Happiest

This is one fact of life we all cannot deny. The rich may look like they are capable of enjoying themselves to their heart’s content. But if you ask, most rich people would tell you that this is not so. It takes a lot of hard work to create and keep wealth. They may even have to work harder than their employees.

How many divorce lawsuits and scandals have you seen in the news lately? Which rich celebrities and public figures who everyone thought lived a fairytale story are struggling right now?

Worrying Is Not Productive

We know that we have limited time on this planet. We already spend a good amount of that time sleeping so why spend most of our waking time worrying? Have you ever got anything done just by worrying? Do you notice that worrying does not make you feel any better afterwards than when you started the process?

There are other reasons why you shouldn’t take life too seriously, but you get the drift. Consider this as a bad habit that you need to change. So now, what should you do so you can start taking everything less seriously?

You need to figure out what you’re being so serious for and why. Here are some questions you should ask every time you notice yourself start worrying and thinking about things too seriously.

Why So Serious?

What exactly is worrying/irritating me right now?
Is this worth getting upset over?
Is this really so important right now?
Will this even matter tomorrow?
Will this significantly impact my life or is this just a minor inconvenience?
Am I simply blowing things out of proportion?
Is this even my problem at all?
What’s a better and more productive way to respond to this situation?

The last question is an important one. It helps you react to the situation in a different way than you usually would. A change in perspective and a change in your reaction can result in a different scenario. Things could actually turn out be fun and easy instead of difficult and stressful.

How To Take Life Less Seriously

If you seriously want to be less anxious and stressed, start putting more fun into your life.

Laugh at your self.

Confront your fear of being embarrassed by doing it intentionally. If you know how to laugh at yourself, you lessen the chances of getting offended by other people. It doesn’t matter how ‘personal’ their joke gets.

You only become afraid of being the butt of other people’s jokes when you are unable to laugh at yourself. Practice being able to laugh at your own silliness. If you do something wrong, apologize sincerely but learn to laugh at yourself with others too.

Let things happen.

We take everything too seriously because we want to be able to control everything that happens to us. Perfectionists are always stressed out because of this reason. There will always be some things in life that just don’t go according to plan. When this happens, let it unfold and observe the results, then react accordingly.

Think of it as a learning opportunity instead of a threat to your plans. These situations will also show you that one mistake won’t kill you; but can help you do better the next time instead.

Add more humor into your life.

If laughing at yourself with other people seems a far-fetched concept for now; start by injecting more humor into your own life. You can start watching stand-up comedians and learn how they are able to make fun of themselves and situations.

Find something funny in different situations in your everyday experience. Recall something silly you did in the past. It may have embarrassed you at the time, but it might actually be funny now.

The longest study on happiness shows that good relationships are important to enjoying life. Get together with a funny friend and talk with them more. Get a feel of how their attitude is different to yours and learn from them.

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
— Elbert Hubbard

Life is short and taking it too seriously may make your life span even shorter. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Learn to have fun and look at the bright side of things. When you learn to do this, then you can count yourself among the lucky ones. The truly blessed ones are those who are able to have fun and enjoyment every day while still working hard to achieve their goals.

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Feature Image: Original Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Apr

2020

How to Overcome Challenges

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Life is full of of adversities. It is all part of our journey in life. Challenges are crucial for growth and success. Without them, we will never have a chance to improve and become better persons. Conquering them is not easy but it is possible. What is important is the will to find ways on how to overcome challenges.

Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities of a man that would have laid dormant in its absence.
Herodotus

Unfortunately, not all people bounced back. There are those who got stucked in the past. These people tried to relive the pain of the past over and over again. They are not making progress in life. They are also unhappy. You don’t want to be like them.

At the other side of the fence are the champions. They are the ones who survived the adversities that came their way. The challenges that they have encountered in life became their stepping stones for success. They conquered and were able to rise above the storm. You want to belong in this group.

Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.
Roger Crawford

Yes, it is possible to overcome adversities. It is going to be hard. It will be painful and very difficult. You must be unshakeable. You need to persevere. Don’t be discouraged by defeat or failure. That’s the only way to survive and conquer adversities in life.

Here are some tips on how to successfully overcome adversities:

1. Take Responsibility for Your Life

Be responsible for your actions. You are where you are right now because of the decisions that you have made in the past. Acknowledge what happened. Take ownership of your past behaviours. Stop blaming others. Accept the fact that there are some things that are beyond your control. Instead, ask yourself what are the things that you can control and could have done differently. Learn the lesson and move on. The sooner you will take responsibility for your own life, the sooner you can get out of that predicament.

Don’t play the victim to circumstances you created.
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2. Focus on Your Goals

What do you want to accomplish in life? Many people have a hard time overcoming adversities because they don’t know what they want in life. It is difficult to focus when you don’t know what you want. It is like driving your car without a clear destination. So before anything else, you need to first start creating your life goals.

If you are focus on your goals, you won’t get distracted easily. You will only pay attention to things that will help you achieve your goals. No matter how hard, you will search for solutions to problems.

3. Have the Proper Mindset

Your mindset affects the direction of your life. Whether you become a success or failure in tackling life’s challenges relies heavily on your mindset.

Your mindset is your mental disposition. It includes your values, thoughts and beliefs. It determines how you response to events that happen to you. If you think you can overcome it, then you will. In the same way, that if you think the problem is too big for you to handle, then it is going to be too big for you to handle. That’s why it is very important to have the proper mindset in times of crisis.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.
Henry Ford

4. Practice Gratitude

You need to practice gratitude especially in tough times. Gratitude helps you feel good. It diverts your focus from the negative to the positive. You begin to look at what you have rather than what you don’t have. You will feel blessed. It will become helpful especially during times of anxiety and despair.

5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Have you heard of the saying that “you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with”? The people you surround yourself with has an enormous power to influence your life. They directly affect your mood, mindset, motivation and decisions.

For example, you have decided to improve your wellness. You made a promise to yourself to start eating healthy foods but every time you go out with your friends, they kept on eating fast food. Compare this in a scenario wherein all your friends eat organic and fresh produce. In which case do you think will you be achieve your goals?

The same is true if you surround yourself with positive people. Positive people will support you, encourage you and compliment you while negative people will criticize you and put you down.

6. Be One With Nature

Did you know that there is a new wellness model called Ecowellness? Ecowellness pertains to psychotherapeutic activities that involves nature. You can go to the beach or the mountains, take a walk in the park or do gardening in your backyard. In other words, it is using nature to heal and reduce stress. It is allowing yourself to experience calmness and in the process cultivate deep awareness of one’s self. Before you know it, you will that moment of clarity wherein you will know what to do with the challenges ahead.

Feature Image by Posted by A.L. Jonas in Emotional, 0 comments