personality

May

2023

Redesign Your Life with Human Design

Reading Time: 5 minutes

We are all interested in self-discovery and personal transformation. That is why we often look to astrology and personality profiling tools. They help us learn more about ourselves and how we should act and behave in this world. Human Design is one such tool. Human Design can help you understand your unique energetic blueprint and guide you towards a more fulfilling life. This spiritual modality helps you gain insights into your strengths, challenges, and potential. With human design, you can learn to make decisions that align with your authentic self.

The Human Design System

Similar to astrology, determining your human design is based on your exact time, date and place of birth. This producers your personal Human Design Body Graph. This provides specific information about your personality, emotions, and energy centers among others.

Unlike astrology and other modalities however, it goes further. Your body graph is not just based on the placement of the planets at the time and place of your birth. The Human Design system is a mix of various other bodies of knowledge such as the Kabbalah, I’Ching, astrology, biochemistry, genetics, Myers-Briggs personality profiles and the different chakras. In this way, it is able to provide a more comprehensive and more specific information on how you can thrive and function well in the world.

Types and Strategies

Your human design body graph can look super complicated. A professionally-trained specialist will be able to give you so much information about your personal human design based on the graph. The two most important aspects of your chart is your human design type and strategy. Starting with these two aspects; you can already gain a lot of insights on understanding or your own personality and design.

The different types and strategies define how each individual is designed to interact with the world around them. There are four main types in Human Design base your energy type: Manifestors, Generators, Projectors, Reflectors, and Manifesting Generators which is a subtype of Generators. Each type has a specific strategy that helps them navigate through life with greater ease and fulfillment.

Manifestors

Manifestors are the initiators of action, with a powerful drive to create and shape their reality. As a Manifestor, you don’t really like being told what to do. You’re the type who can easily see the big picture. You usually start things but you don’t necessarily have to finish them. This is where the other types can come in and help you complete your goals. Your energy comes in powerful bursts. So it is important to rest in between doing your work. This is a time for you to enjoy some space and time alone to refresh yourself.

Your strategy is to inform others before taking action, so you avoid resistance and conflict as you move forward. You know your aligned with your design if you feel peace with what you are doing. On the other had, you will feel anger when you are doing things not aligned with your design.

Generators

Generators are the life force of the world, with a natural ability to create energy and abundance. As a Generator, you shine the brightest when you do things that excite you. So you need to learn to say “No” to things that don’t light you up. You have a regular energy cycle. This means you need to use up your energy throughout the day. You will have renewed energy from sleep for the next day. You are considered the “hustlers” of the world; designed to work on the things that excite you which you choose from the opportunities presented to you.

Unlike a Manifestor, you don’t initiate things. Instead, your strategy is to wait for a clear response from your gut before taking action. This ensures that you are using your energy in alignment with your true desires. You will feel satisfaction if you are acting based on your design. If you feel frustration, then you are not aligned with your design.

Manifesting Generators

Manifesting Generators are a hybrid of Manifestors and Generators, with the ability to both initiate action and respond to opportunities. With a blend of these two types, you can multitask more than others. This may be mistaken as a lack of focus but this is just the opposite. You are designed to expend your energy to your fullest each day following what you are passionate about. Your productivity and motivation may vary on a daily basis but a good night’s sleep will provide you the energy you need for the next day.

Your strategy is to follow your gut instinct and respond quickly to what feels right. This allows you to use your energy in the most efficient and effective way possible. As you move quite fast; part of your strategy is to inform the people around you of your next plan after you have responded to an opportunity presented to you. You will feel satisfaction when you live according to your design and frustration and/or anger when you are not aligned.

Projectors

Projectors are the guides and advisors of society, with a talent for seeing the potential in others. Similar to Manifestors, Projectors also experience an ebb and flow of energy. However, you are designed to work much fewer hours because you derive your energy from other people and don’t have much energy on your own. This means that you need resting times more often than the other types. This may often be mistaken as laziness or passivity but this is not true at all.

As a “non-energy being”, you don’t necessarily need to hustle but you get recognized for your efficiency at what you do. Your strategy is to wait for recognition and invitation before offering your guidance. This allows you to share your unique gifts and wisdom in a way that is valued and respected. This is how you can enjoy success. On the other hand, you may feel bitterness towards people and situations when you are not recognized.

Reflectors

Reflectors are the rarest energy type and are also “non-energy beings”. They serve as the mirrors of society, with a unique ability to reflect back the energy of the world around them. Your energy varies on a daily basis so you need to learn to rebalance your energy more than the other types. As a Reflector, you should focus on understanding your self and honing your own unique gifts. It is recommended that you wait a full lunar cycle (about 28 days) before making any major decisions. This allows you to gain clarity and avoid being influenced by outside energies.

When aligned with your design, you should feel delighted and appreciative of how unique each day of your life is. If you feel disappointment because you think you can’t keep up with the rest of the world; then you are out of alignment with your design. Remember that you are not supposed to keep up with other people.

By understanding your type and strategy in Human Design, your taking the first step to transform your life and redesign it in a way that honors your unique gifts and talents. You can learn to make decisions that are aligned with your true self and follow a path that leads to greater fulfillment and purpose. Whether you’re seeking personal growth, career success, or deeper relationships, Human Design can offer you a powerful roadmap for living an authentic and fulfilling life.

There are many places online where you can learn more about Human Design. You can always consult an expert to get more details about your own profile. In the meantime, you can start learning more about yourself by going to the Jovian Archive to get your body graph chart.

Featured Image: Original Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash.

May

2022

Different Smarts: What is Your Intelligence Type?

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Ever wondered what your intelligence type is? What kind of intelligent are you? What kind of “smarts” do you have? We usually divide ourselves into book smart or street smart. One is based mostly on the academic way of learning. The other is based on learning from experiences. There are actually different types of intelligences.

The Theory of Multiple Intelligences

In 1983, Howard Gardner, an American development psychologist at Harvard University, introduced the different types of intelligence in the book “Frames of Mind”. He describes that there are multiple types of human intelligence. Each one represents a different way of how a person best processes the information that they receive from different sources.

The multiple intelligences theory states that everyone has all types of intelligences at varying degrees of proficiency. Each one’s learning style is not related to the areas in which they are most intelligent. Classifying learners by their learning style or intelligence type will only limit their potential for learning and developing their skills. A variety of activities and learning approaches is the best way to help individuals hone their potential.

The 9 Types of Intelligences

Here’s a summary of the different types of intelligences. Which one do you relate with most? Focus on honing that area to enhance your intellectual wellness. This is a good first step to unleashing the genius in you.

VISUAL-SPATIAL: Picture Smart

These are people who are good at visualizing, understanding directions and reading maps, charts, videos, and pictures. They usually read and write for fun. Their interests include drawing, painting and photography. Putting puzzles together is fun for them and they recognize patters easily.

This intelligence type can be great architects, pilots, fashion designers, artists, surgeons or engineers.

LINGUISTIC-VERBAL: Word Smart

This type uses language well. They enjoy reading and writing and are usually good at remembering written and spoken information. Debates and giving persuasive speeches are part of their skill set. They explain things very well. Humor in telling stories is part of their communication style.

These types usually pursue careers in writing like journalism, novelist, poets, editors, teachers and lawyers.

LOGICAL-MATHEMATICAL: Number/Reasoning Smart

A friend who is your group’s math whiz falls under this type. They have strong skills in analyzing problems and mathematical operations. Number crunching and problem solving are their specialties. They enjoy thinking about abstract ideas and can solve complex computations. They like conducting scientific experiments.

Being a scientist, mathematician, economist, computer programmer, engineer or accountant will suit them well.

BODY-KINESTHETIC: Body Smart

Know someone who is good at body movement and has great physical control? Do they have excellent hand-eye coordination and dexterity? These people have great motor control and are skilled at dancing and sports. They like creating things with their own hands. With their excellent physical coordination; they remember things better by doing.

They can become body builders, mechanics, athletes, physical therapists, sculptors, and actors.

MUSICAL: Music Smart

Thinking in patterns, rhythms and sounds is a unique characteristic of this type. They have a strong appreciation for music and are skilled at composing music and musical performance. They easily remember songs and melodies, musical patterns and tones. Their rich understanding of musical structure, rhythm, and notes helps them enjoy singing and playing musical instruments.

Musicians, composers, singers, song writers, DJs, music teachers, and conductors are musically intelligent.

INTERPERSONAL: People Smart

People who are good at interacting and understanding other people fall under this type. They are skilled at assessing emotions, motivations, desires and even the intentions of people around them. You will usually see them helping to resolve conflicts in group settings and encouraging positive relationships where ever they go. They communicate well verbally. Skilled at nonverbal communication, they feel empathy easily.

Their ability to easily see situations from different perspectives makes them great psychologists, philosophers, counselors, team managers, negotiators, publicists, social workers, life coaches, salespersons and politicians.

INTRAPERSONAL: Self Smart

These types of people are very aware of their own emotional states and motivations. They enjoy introspection, self-reflection and analysis. Daydreaming is one of their past times. They like exploring their relationships with others and are able to analyze their strengths and weaknesses well.

With their excellent self-awareness; they enjoy analyzing theories and ideas. This makes them good therapists, counselors, psychologists, philosophers, writers, theorists, scientists and entrepreneurs.

NATURALISTIC: Nature Smart

This intelligence type is a recent addition to Gardner’s theory. Individuals under this type are in tune with nature. They like exploring their environment, finding patterns and relationships to nature. Their nurturing tendencies make them interested in learning about other species. They are very sensitive to subtle changes happening in their surroundings. Categorizing and cataloguing information comes easily to them. Gardening, hiking, camping and exploring the outdoors are favorite hobbies.

They are interested in subjects like botany, biology and zoology; making them good biologists, botanists, florists, geologists, conservationists, gardeners and farmers.

EXISTENTIAL: Abstract Smart

The most complex of all the types, people under this type tend to be sensitive and very considerate. They ask deep questions about human existence and the meaning of life and all of existence. They are deeply spiritual and tend to ask big questions about life and death like why are we here? What is the point of all this? Small talk and superficial chitchat are often not satisfying to them. They are deeply philosophic thinkers, always asking questions bigger than themselves.

This type is often called spiritual or moral intelligence and is often referred to as “life smart”. They like reflective and deep thinking and designing abstract theories; making them good scientists, philosophers, theologians, inspirational speakers, writers, authors, economists, and bloggers.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash.

Aug

2021

What is Your Money Personality?

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Your money personality simply means your attitude and behavior towards money. It is a reflection of your beliefs about money. Knowing and understanding your money personality will help you improve your financial life. It will help you spend, save, invest and grow your money wisely. So, what is your money personality?

There are five kinds of money personalities. Each one has different outlooks on how they handle money. It is possible to be a mixture of one or two personalities.

1.The Big Spender

As the name suggests, the big spender is someone who places value in their possessions. It is easy to spot one. Just take a look at the possessions that they own. Do they have the latest smartphone or gadget? Are they always wearing branded clothing? Do they have high-end vehicles? How big is their home? Do they own the latest and biggest television?These people are so comfortable spending money that they don’t care even if they end up in credit card debts.

If you are a big spender, make sure that what you are spending falls within your budget. If not, learn the art of delayed gratification. It is also important that you understand how credit cards work. Otherwise, a big spender is in great danger of falling into financial distress.

If you can’t buy it twice, you can’t afford it.
– Jay Z

2. The Savers

The savers are exactly the opposite of the big spenders. Savers shop only when necessary and they hardly ever use their credit cards. They generally have no debts. They are the cheapskates. If you know someone who tries to avoid paying and does not want to share expenses, then they are the savers. Unlike the big spender who derives satisfaction from the possessions that they own, the savers get theirs from looking at their bank accounts.

If you are a saver, congratulate yourself. It means you are already careful and aware of your finances. Chances are, you already have your emergency fund and probably a bit of retirement fund as well. However, money psychologists advise that you should also learn to allow yourself to enjoy your hard-earned money. In the same way, you should also learn to share your money with others. The money jar budgeting system allocates at least 10% for play and another 10% for title.

3.The Security Seeker

The security seekers are careful planners. They research every option available before they start spending their money. However, unlike the savers, security seekers are willing to spend as long as they have the budget for it. They make sure that they have enough money to pay for the expenses before swiping their card or going on vacation. The downside is that sometimes, because of too much research; they end up not making the decision at all.

If you are a security seeker, it is best to lessen too much pessimism and anxiety over financial decisions. Be aware that life is all about choices. The key is to know your financial goals and make decisions towards the attainment of those goals. Yes, there will be better opportunities that may arise in time but be comforted in the fact that you already did due diligence. Your decision is the best decision at that point in time.

4. The Avoider

The avoider is someone who avoids thinking and talking about money. Avoiders are those people who have an untouched stack of bills lying in the counter. They don’t want to face their finances. They don’t take note of the due dates of their credit cards and bills.

If you are an avoider, it is best to start caring about your finances. Let’s face it, whether you like it or not; money is a big part of our lives. We need money in order to survive in this world. The first thing to do is to track your expenses. You will not be able to improve your financial life if you don’t know where your money is going. From there, you will be able to set up a plan going forward.

5. The Moneymaker

The moneymaker is someone who already perfected the skills of creating wealth. They spend most of their time and energy earning money. They believe that money is the key to happiness.

If you are a moneymaker, you have probably achieved financial freedom. You have enough money in the bank to live comfortably for life. However, do realize that although money is important; relationships are far more important than money. Because you were always busy creating wealth, you might have neglected important relationships. Now is the time to slow down and reestablish a deeper relationship with your family and loved ones.

6.The Gambler

The gambler is someone who loves taking risks. They get satisfaction from the thrill of risk with the promise of high rewards. They invest in anything that they think will give them high returns. Most of the time, they don’t even do their research anymore before investing. These are also the same people who are in danger of being addicted to gambling.

If you are a gambler before you start losing all your money; it is best to first understand the rules of investing. Be strict on where you invest your money before you make big financial decisions. And avoid borrowing money just to enter an investment that you do not even understand. Learn to guard your money.

The bottom line, understand your money personality and find a way to balance the personalities in order to help you achieve your money goals.

Feature Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

May

2021

Different Ways to Discover Your Self

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Each one of you are finding different ways to discover your self every day even if you don’t know it. Most of us think we already know ourselves inside out. We think we are what we do and we act that way. We identify with our jobs, our family’s expectations, our friends’ descriptions of us. Deep inside, we know these aspects of our selves are just a part of us. A persona we show to the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes

There is a feeling lurking within us that we are something more than what others see; what we let others see. There are things stirring in our shadow self that we want to get out into the world. A part of ourselves that we still can’t describe; potential that we both fear and admire. It may help us unleash our hidden genius or ruin our life’s work. Unless we can identify it; we won’t be able to harness this potential. If we can’t know this part of our self; we will always feel that we are not enough. Instead of being frustrated; why not actively go on a journey to discover your self?

The Process of Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is a continuous process, not a specific or final answer. The process of self-discovery is not found when you reach a destination. You come to discover more of your self through your life journey. Discovering your self is not just a one-time process. It involves discovering something new about ourselves as well as rediscovering old, forgotten parts of ourselves. There may even be instances when you uncover a part of yourself that you have kept hidden because you feel you are ready for it. Along the way, we may change in many ways. It is through this journey that we find purpose and meaning in our lives.

Be Aware of Your Current Self

Awareness is the first step to getting actively involved in your self-discovery. Get a clearer and deeper understanding of your own personal characteristics, your emotions, needs, values, strengths and weaknesses. Spend time to reflect on the parts of your personality that you already know.

Find out what gives you joy; what are your hopes and dreams; the things that you are passionate about; what things are holding you back; what negative experiences have you carried with you since childhood? These questions will leave you feeling vulnerable but they are an important step to getting to know yourself better. You can do this through journaling, talking to family and friends, or to a professional. The important thing to remember is to be honest with your self.

Experiment with A Different Self

Once you have a map of your current self; you pretty much have an idea of what your personality is. You are also able to identify some of the things you do, or want to do, that would clash with your current personality. Examining your self does not stop at knowing where things are. You also need to test how far things can go.

Your self, or your personality, is a fluid entity. Contrary to popular belief, you are not stuck with your personality. Getting stuck and getting out of it and flowing into a new one is all up to you. So make an experiment of the process. Do something that you don’t usually do and see how far you can go with it. For example, you may be a people pleaser, a “Yes man”. So try experimenting what would happen if you just said “No” to other people. Most of the time, you will find that your worries and fears don’t come true. It is only your belief that’s holding you back from accepting this part of your self, and from changing your situation.

Trust in Your Own Path to Self-Discovery

There is no one way to the journey of self-discovery. Each person has their own path and their own time for the journey. The important thing is to trust your own path. Don’t compare your self to others. Also, be kind to others and help as much as you can. Remember that everyone is on their own journey and some will have a harder time than others. Having a positive mindset and an attitude of gratitude helps a lot.

Discovering, rediscovering and uncovering more of yourself also helps to develop your trust in your self. Most people are going about their daily lives fulfilling their duties according to what others expect of them. Being actively involved in the process to discover your self means that you need to learn to trust your self rather than the world around you. It means being able to focus on what you truly want and being grateful for what you have even if the world tells you that you’re doing things wrong.

Discovering your self also means that you learn to accept difficult things about you as well as others around you. For example, you learn to trust your feelings instead of just your thoughts. You learn to love yourself more. You learn to be okay even if some things don’t go the way you wanted them to. More importantly, you learn to be comfortable with all parts of who you are; and if people don’t like it, you don’t feel bad when they walk away.

The journey to self-discovery may involve losing friends and even loved ones along the way. Know that it is not your fault. It is just that their part in your journey is over and they need to go on their own paths. There are many things that you will need to accept and lose during your journey. As you learn and develop your self; you will find that it will all be worth it.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash.

May

2021

The Shadow Self: Learn to Love Your Dark Side

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Shadow Self is the opposite of your Persona; and it is important to learn to love your dark side in order to live a fully balanced life. Ask yourself: Who am I when I am alone?

Each person is born with both The shadow and the persona. Growing up, we learn to differentiate between what society accepts as good and bad, light and dark. The good parts of ourselves is what we show to the world, the desirable Persona. The bad parts are what we hide, fear and suppress, the Shadow Self.

Both of these aspects of ourselves are a part of our whole self. Unless we are able to learn to love our dark side, we will always feel that something is missing in our lives. We will always feel like we are inadequate in some aspect; or that we are merely posers. Since our dark side is that part of us that we deem unacceptable; we will forever be in fear of that part of ourselves being discovered.

The Shadow Self is Not Bad

The Persona and the Shadow Self can be seen as 2 sides of the same coin, or the Yin and Yang of each person. Without the other, the person is not complete. The Persona that we show to the world is the part of us that we have already “processed” and accepted. The parts of us that we have not processed yet is the Shadow Self. These are the instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions, and fears that we try to hide. Our denial of our addictions or our fear of failure and other bad habits that we are embarrassed about are some examples.

When we repress or deny things; they do not disappear. They only grow stronger and they creep up on us without our awareness. One example of this is thru projection; where we associate what we dislike about ourselves in other people. We end up constantly blaming other people for our own behavior that we cannot accept. This can affect our self-esteem, our relationships and even our perspective of the world. In some cases, they can manifest as difficult psychological or behavioral issues such as not being perfect enough.

Our dark side resides in our unconscious. If we do not process them and accept them as part of ourselves; they will eventually manifest themselves beyond our control. Despite being the dark side of ourselves; the Shadow Self is not actually bad or evil. In fact, it is a strong source of creative energy and self-healing.

Embrace The Whole You

The process of accepting our Shadow Self and embracing it as part of our whole personality is called “integration”, sometimes called shadow work. When we have integrated the dark parts of ourselves; we also heal ourselves and our relationships. There is no specific technique that can be taught on how to do the integration process. Each person has to do on their own and at their own pace. The trick is to do it gradually instead of constantly denying it. However, the first step is always awareness.

Become aware of what other people do or what situations trigger your reactions negatively. Your reaction to such behaviors and situations will give you a clue to your dark side. Next thing you can do is to acknowledge it as part of your self. For example, if you usually hide your aggressive impulses; it can come in handy when you need to defend yourself from being verbally or physically abused by someone else. By accepting it as a normal part of you; you don’t have to hide it or feel guilty for acting out. People who are important to you will also come to accept it as part of your personality. This also means that you can practice your self-control instead of bursting out uncontrollably because you can’t take it anymore.

Since our dark side hides many parts of us that we deem unacceptable; this is also the place where we hide our unique talents and abilities, for example. While the Persona is our orderly self; the Shadow Self is the place of chaos, of potential and possibilities. Many innovations have been born because of people’s dark experiences. A lot of people achieved success only after their lives went into turmoil. By learning to love your Shadow Self; you can live a fully balance life and operate at your highest potential.

The process of integration is a long and arduous process. This is why sometimes, external help is needed if the repressed memories and emotions are too traumatic for the person to deal with by themselves. In our every day lives; let us be more mindful of our experiences so that we can better see the clues that our Shadow Self is giving us. This is also an important aspect of self-love.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Sammy Williams on Unsplash.

May

2021

What Do You Think is Your Travel Personality?

Reading Time: 4 minutes

What do you think is your travel personality? Do you notice any difference in your personality when you travel alone or with a group? Remember that we all have our personas. We may be a different person when we travel by ourselves or when we travel with other people. Our personality may also depend on the personalities of the other individuals in our travel group.

Our travel personality may also depend on our goals for traveling. What kind of experiences do you usually imagine for your travels?

Thrill Seeker

Are you looking for thrilling experiences when you travel? Do you see yourself swimming with sharks or camping in the wild to get a glimpse of wild animals? Does excitement fill you at the thought of bungee jumping, sky diving and the like? If this is you, then you definitely have the travel personality of a thrill seeker. If you seek even more extreme thrills, you may even call yourself a danger junkie.

As a thrill seeker, you want to get close to the wild side of nature. You crave the death-defying stunts other people have experienced before; and you want to feel the same adrenalin rush for yourself. Sometimes, even if you fear it, you still go for it. It takes courage to travel out of your comfort zone. This is something you actually crave.

Of course, you don’t go into these adventures unprepared. If you need to learn a new set of skills to participate in an adventure; you take the time to do so. You spend time learning and training as though you were preparing for the Olympics. Thrill-seeking is like a sport to you. You actually enjoy the whole process. You’re not really competing against anyone though. For you, the thrill and the adrenaline rush are all worth it.

Adventurer

Do you picture yourself exploring new dive spots, swimming with whales, climbing mountains or trekking through the dessert? Do you enjoy road trips? If so, then you have the travel personality of an adventurer.

You’re the type of person who relishes unique adventures. You are always open to new types of experiences. To try something once is your motto and that’s what makes traveling with you so much more fun. Whether you travel alone or with buddies; you always enjoy your self. The least adventurous around you also get to have their fun even when they’re just watching you.

You are always interested in what unique experiences your destination has to offer. Spontaneity is the name of your game. Your travel buddies are swept along with your enthusiasm to try out new things. However, you always keep everyone’s safety in mind first.

Sightseer

Would you describe your travel plans as calming, laidback, easygoing, casual and free? If this is you, then you’re a sightseer. For you, travel is a time to relax, walk around at your leisure and just enjoy the scenery as you pass by it, or as it passes you by.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t make plans. You enjoy the freedom but you do have an agenda of the places you want to go to; the food you want to try and other activities you want to watch or even participate in. Wandering around and getting lost in exploring the interesting nooks and crannies of the place is a normal part of the experience for you.

Your travel plan might include going on a tour group but you also make sure to have free time to explore on your own. Leisure is your travel game plan. A structured plan on where to go and what to do is a convenient way for you to get acquainted with a place quickly. This is also an opportunity to take note of interesting places or things to do. Then you take your own leisurely time to go back and enjoy them on your own or with your group. You usually take lots of pictures or videos.

Learner

Do you travel because you are interested in the place’s culture and/or history? You may be curious about something specific such as the cuisine or the arts. Maybe you like going to places like libraries, or museums; or you enjoy hanging out at historical sites? Do you like visiting old buildings or spending time inside old churches? If this is you, then your travel personality is that of a learner.

Your travels often have a structured plan to it. You know which places you want to go to and which ones you might want to see if you have time left. A guided tour is usually on your list. You may get a local guide that you can consult when you need to. Afterwards, you go straight to what you really came for. You spend most of your travel time in the specific places you have on your list. Going early is part of your habits; because having the church or museum all to yourself is such a pleasure.

Your itinerary may also include taking a class such as pottery or weaving. You take lots of pictures or illustrations, or notes. Sitting on a bench and just people watching is also a leisurely time for you. When you go back to rest; you usually review your pictures and/or notes.

Your Travel Personality

Does your travel personality fit any of these? If not, which are you closest to? Your travel personality may be a combination of any of these as well. Or you might have started out as a sightseer and now you are more of an adventurer. You may also be a learner and now you aspire to be a sightseer and enjoy the sites around you more.

The more important thing is how your travel goals have helped you develop as a person. Traveling helps us get to know our selves better even as we get to know more of the world outside our home towns. For some people, travel is a way to sort through their life issues. It also provides us with more inspiration for what we want to be and where we want to be in the future.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Felix Rostig on Unsplash.

May

2021

Black Swan: When Being Perfect is Not Enough

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Are you a White Swan or a Black Swan? What would you do when being perfect is not enough? A lot of people have an unhealthy obsession with being perfect. This is especially true in industries where individuals need to look and be perfect both in front of the camera and in real life. We all have a side to us that idealize being perfect. We manifest this by idolizing other people who we think are like that; or by controlling the various aspects of our own lives in order to be perfect.

Many individuals have lost themselves in the pursuit of perfection in their careers. Some of them self-destructed at the peak of their popularity. Others committed suicide and shocked the world as to the reason why. In both cases; their surprising behavior is a result of losing themselves in pursuit of perfection.

Black Swan the Movie: The Pursuit of Perfection

The 2010 movie Black Swan gives us a grim picture of how losing your self to perfection looks like. There are many layers to the story that you can relate to your own real-life experiences, or lack thereof.

The story is about the ballerina Nina (Natalie Portman) who’s childhood dream is to play the main role in Swan Lake. Nina’s passion for ballet rules every aspect of her life. When they need a prima ballerina for Swan Lake; she takes the opportunity to get the role for herself. Lily, a rival ballerina, gets the role. Nina eventually convinces the director to give it to her. Nina sees Lily as a rival but at the same time befriends her. Once she got the role, Nina struggles to not only play the White Swan perfectly. She struggles even more to become the perfect Black Swan.

Uncannily, Nina’s journey also parallels the actual story of Swan Lake.

We all know the story. Virginal girl, pure and sweet, trapped in the body of a swan. She desires freedom, but only true love can break the spell. Her wish is nearly granted in the form of a prince. But before he can declare his love, her lustful twin, the Black Swan, tricks and seduces him. Devastated, the White Swan leaps off a click, killing herself and in death finds freedom.
Thomas Leroy

In the end, despite a major setback during the performance, Nina is able to play both roles to perfection. She receives the admiration of her co-ballerinas, her art director, her mother and the audience. It is her best performance. In her own words, it was perfect, she was perfect. It was also her last performance.

The White Swan: Faking Perfection

Nina is the perfect White Swan, pure and innocent. She still talks like a child even when she had the courage to ask the director to give the main role to her. Her mother, a former ballerina, who gave up her dancing dreams to raise Nina; is both a caring figure as well as a controlling one. She has stunted Nina’s growth into maturity. Nina does not have friends as her only focus is on making her dream come true. In a way, her mother is living her own dancing dreams through Nina’s own journey as a ballerina.

This is why, when Nina asks the director for the main role, he tells Nina:

Well, the truth is, when I look at you, all I see is the White Swan. Yes, you’re beautiful, fearful, fragile. Ideal casting. But the Black Swan, it’s a hard fucking job to dance both…
In four years, every time you dance, I see you obsessed, getting each and every move perfectly right. But I never see you lose yourself. Ever. All the discipline, for what?

Nina answers that she wants to be perfect. She is too focused on being in control of her own performance. But the director tells her that: “Perfection is not just about control. It’s also about letting go. Surprise yourself so you can surprise your audience. Transcendence. And very few have it in them.”

Ironically, it is her perfect persona that hinders her from playing the Black Swan. The director tells her further: “The real work will be your metamorphosis into her evil twin and I know I saw a flash of her yesterday. So get ready to give me more of that bite.”

During rehearsals, Nina starts to break down as she deals with toxic coworkers, her rivalry with Lily who she also idolizes, and pressure from her mom and her company to perform her best. Her goal of a perfect life starts to break down. She blames herself for everything that goes wrong during practice. The pressure from perfecting her performance for both roles manifests in her delusions. In her delusion, she is bleeding in different parts of her body. She is physically, emotionally and mentally breaking down.

The Black Swan: Destroying Perfection

In the story, the White Swan has to conquer the Black Swan in order to get back her prince. In real life, Nina needs to grow up, fast in order to perfectly play the Black Swan. The director tells Nina that Lily was his first choice because she can play the Black Swan. In this way, Nina thinks of Lily as her rival but also admires her.

Lily was the first one to reach out to her and attempt to befriend her. She takes Nina to dinner and there, Nina realizes that Lily is not afraid of exposing her imperfect self. Lily is also not afraid to express her self as she openly flirts with the waiter. Nina ends up torn between hating her rival and admiring her for being unafraid to do as she pleases.

The director gives Nina harsh guidance by comparing her directly to Lily. He hints that Nina’s perfection is fake. As they watch Lily perform, he tells Nina: “Watch the way she moves. Imprecise but effortless. She’s not faking it.” The director also describes to Nina why Beth, the former ballerina who played the main role, was so entertaining to watch.

Because everything Beth does comes from within, from some dark impulse. I guess that’s what makes her so thrilling to watch. So dangerous. Even perfect at times. But also so damned destructive.

During rehearsal, the director shouts at Nina: “Forget about control, Nina! I want to see passion! Come on! Reach! Board, you’re stiff! Still like a dead corpse! Let it go! Let it go! And, again.”

Both the director and Lily personify the harsh reality of the world that one confronts when growing up. They also serves as a wake-up call to Nina. Both are telling and showing Nina to let go of her desire to be perfect; to let her passion for dance take over her performance instead. To not be cooped up in her own imperfections but to accept them as part of her.

In a way, both are encouraging Nina to break down her walls and let her flaws show through. But Nina refuses to do this and sticks to her desire for a perfect performance. She can’t reconcile how to maintain her perfect persona while at the same time wanting to be like her rival Lily, the perfect Black Swan.

From White to Black: Losing Yourself to Perfection

Playing the main role for Swan Lake requires the ballerina to embody both the pure, innocent, White Swan as well as the dark, evil, Black Swan. Nina is able to play the White Swan to perfection. However, in the last part of the performance, when she is about to transform into the Black Swan, she makes a major mistake on stage. Luckily, her partner picks her up and continues the performance.

During this time, her major breakdown starts but she also starts to break out from her perfect persona, except in a destructive way. Instead of blaming herself, she blames her partner for the mistake. When she goes to her dressing room, she finds Lily in the Black Swan costume. In her delusion, Lily tells her that it’s her turn to play as the Black Swan. Nina fights back and ends up stabbing Lily. She quickly hides Lily’s body and changes into the Black Swan costume. This signals her perfect transition to becoming the Black Swan.

Back on stage, Nina finally let’s go and loses her self in the performance as the director advised her to. She even gets a standing ovation. She is so engrossed in her character that she actually kisses the director as she takes a break from the dance. Her old, innocent self would have been too shy and embarrassed to do that.

She returns to her dressing room to change her costume to that of the White Swan again for the final part of the show. By this time, she is almost in tears but she still goes on with the show. She receives a standing ovation and her director and other dancers congratulate her. We see Lily as one of the dancers and she is the one who notices that Nina is bleeding. It was Nina’s delusion that she stabbed her rival but she actually stabbed herself.

In order to become perfect to play the Black Swan, Nina embraced her dark side completely. She needed to make the transition fast. The only way she thought of doing that was to kill her innocent, child-like self. To play the Black Swan, she had to get rid of the White Swan.

The Danger of Perfection

Nina’s stunted growth made her miss out on many life experiences. These experiences could have helped her to thrive in her career without sacrificing her relationships to her self and to others. Most of all, she missed the biggest lesson in life; that nobody is perfect, and you don’t need to be. This is not just Nina’s fault though. Her mother also contributed greatly to how Nina views the world. When Nina finally found the courage to speak up for what she wants; it was already too late.
In her perfect world, she only needs to perfectly perform and her life would be perfect. She had to confront her inner demons on her own. Until the end, she held on to her idea of perfection. When she is able to perfectly perform her childhood role; she declares that she was perfect.

Symbolically, because she has attained the perfection that she wanted; her life’s goal was complete. She did everything she could to make her performance perfect. Even to the extent of killing a part of her self. She has successfully transformed herself into the perfect Black Swan. Thus, Nina’s perfect performance was both her best performance and also her last. After all, in Nina’s perspective, once you have achieved perfection; what other goal could you have?

Self-Acceptance is A Process

There are times in our life when being perfect is not enough. We need to utilize our flaws or weakness to transform ourselves into someone better. The major lesson in this movie is not only that we should accept our flaws and so-called “guilty pleasures”. We also need to learn to do so gradually. Self-acceptance is a process that takes time. Discovering our shadow and shedding parts of our persona does not happen over night. It crops up at different points in our life. It is during this process that you learn how to handle bigger challenges in your journey through life. Each time this happens; we gain more knowledge on how to manage our inner and external demons. We learn how to make us of both our strengths and our weakness. This is the missing part in Nina’s journey.

Her lack of personal relationships stunted her personal growth. That’s why all she sees are her own flaws. No one is there to appreciate and show her the beautiful side of her. She only sees her shadows and is unable to appreciate the other parts of her. She fails to realize that she does not need to be perfect to play the White Swan and the Black Swan. Nina never considered that both the White Swan and the Black Swan can co-exist. She has never even learned how to love her self.

Another lesson to learn is to develop various goals and different interests. This way, when you experience a setback in one of your goals; you have other goals to inspire you. Nina had only been focusing on one goal her entire life. When this one goal was threatened; she did everything to make things perfect again. It was the only thing that she lived for. She had many chances to change her perspective but by then it was too late. Her unhealthy obsession lead to her own destruction.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash.

May

2021

Persona: What is Your Social Mask?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

We all wear a social mask to hide our true personality so as to conform to social norms. Whenever we go out in public, we always project a good image that exaggerates a version of ourselves. We do this most especially in front of people that we want to impress such as someone we like or a boss. We hope that by doing so, we make a good impression on them. The character that we play in front of others is our persona. So, how will you describe your persona: what is your social mask?

Your Social Mask

Are you the cool guy or the social butterfly? Or are you the bully or the control freak? Or maybe you are the martyr or the people-pleaser? What is your social mask? Think of yourself as a character in a drama, then analyze what kind of a character you are playing. How will you describe your personality when in front of others?

We wear masks to protect ourselves and to conceal something. The new normal entails us to always wear masks to hide our nose and mouth to protect ourselves and others from the virus. The Phantom of the Opera wears a mask to conceal his hideous face. In the same way that social masking is the role that we play in different social situations in order to meet societal standards. But is that who we really are?

We all have a social mask, right? We put it on, we go out, put our best food forward, our best image. But behind that social mask is a personal truth, what we really, really believe about who we are and what we’re capable of.
– Phil McGraw

Behind the Mask

When we are alone, we tend to do the opposite. We do things that are comfortable. We act based on our emotions and impulses. That is because there is no one to impress. So, there is no need to act. We are free to do anything that we want. That is actually our true personality. It is how we behave when no one else is watching.

Have you heard of people saying that a particular person changed when that person became rich, popular or powerful. Well, the truth is that that person did not change at all. What you have been seeing is the mask that that person was wearing. Who that person is now is actually that person’s true personality.

Money and success don’t change people. They merely amplify what is already there.
– Will Smith

The Yes Man

The problem with social masking lies when we become too engrossed in our roles. We begin to identify ourselves too much with the role that we play that we lose our sense of self. When this happens, we become a ‘Yes Man’. A Yes Man is someone who agrees to everything. This is dangerous because it leads to other people’s abuses. The Yes Man ends up sacrificing himself for others simple because he does not have the courage to say no.

You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.
– Alan Moore

Balance

The key is balance. Having a persona is good for it allows us to adapt to our environment by conforming to certain standards in society. However, becoming too engrossed in our roles is no longer good because we lose sight on who we really are as persons.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

May

2021

Black Swan

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Who is the real you? Do you find yourself hiding your innermost thoughts and feelings from others? This is a natural behavior of human beings. It is because we are afraid of how others will react. There are certain norms and societal standards that we need to adher.. Society expects us to act a certain way. There are standards for beauty, for what is good behavior and what is successful. We receive harsh judgment if we do not conform. As a result, we become experts on hiding our true selves. We project an image to society based on what we think is acceptable. This is our persona. But behind the persona lies a different side that we keep to ourselves. The black swan is a metaphor that pertains to our ‘other self’ – the self that we hide from others.

Image

What mask are you wearing? And it is not about any form of physical mask. The truth is every human being wears a mask. In fact, we even wear multiple masks. We act differently in front of family, friends, boss, colleagues, etc. Sometimes, it becomes so natural that we begin to forget who we really are as a person. This is a natural behavior but if done for a long time, unhappiness will kick in because your other self will try to set itself free. It is also draining and exhausting to maintain a facade in front of others.

Black Swan

Have you ever experienced having it all yet you still feel unhappy? Maybe you are successful in your career but for some reason, something is missing. That’s the effect of trying to suppress the other self. The unexpressed part of an individual is known as the shadow. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychoanalyst, described shadow as the unknown dark side of the personality. Sometimes, shadow manifests itself through dreams and visions.

Slowly, I open my eyes. I’m in my workroom, it’s my studio. The darkness in waves brings agony but I’ll never give up. Inside I saw myself, myself…
– Black Swan, BTS

Journey to Self-Discovery

To be able to live life to the fullest, one needs to take the journey to self-discovery. Who we are as a person is not just our persona but it’s the combination of both the persona and the shadow. instead of suppressing the shadow, it is best to embrace it. Recognize your faults, weaknesses, inferiorities, issues, anxieties and even false beliefs. That’s the only way to conquer the shadow. It is only through this do we get to understand our true self and who we really are as a person. From there, we become conscious of the unconscious mind. Moreover, we give ourselves the power to control and improve our conscious mind.

Image by Irina Kuzmina from Pixabay

Mar

2021

How to Define Your Personal Style

Reading Time: 3 minutes

What is your personal style? Each person has his or her own distinct characteristic or appearance that is unique to that person alone. And this is what personal style is all about. It pertains to the way a person expresses himself or herself. It encompasses everyone, not just the fashion conscious. Thus, it is important to know how to define your personal style.

Psychology of Dressing

Have you heard of the saying that your outfit is self-expression? Although it does not define who you are as a person, a study reveals that your clothes give passersby a glimpse of your personal psychology. Termed as “enclothed cognition”, it states that clothes have direct influence on the person’s psychological state.

In a book published by clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner entitled “What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You“, the author reveals that simple activities such as shopping and putting together some outfits reveal our personalities, our feelings and even how we think about ourselves. So, more often than not, we are subconsciously giving other people hints on our current emotional state.

The good news is that we can use dressing to our advantage. Did you know that you can dress for success? If you want to become highly successful, you need to learn how to dress the part.

Steps on How to Define Your Personal Style

In the meantime, if you have not defined your personal style yet, here are some steps on how to define your personal style.

1.Stay True to Yourself

There is no right or wrong when it comes to defining your personal style. The key here is knowing yourself, who you are and what your positive traits are when it comes to your body. A stylish individual may or may not follow trends. It is not about being fashionable or trendy but rather it is all about developing your sense of self.

2. Identify Your Fashion Icon

Mentors are important for success. That is why, it is highly important to have one in every aspect of your life. This is also true when it comes to defining your personal style. Who is your fashion icon? As soon as you have figured out who that person is, it is time to do your research. Check out fashion magazines, blogs, interviews and photographs of that person. Take inspiration on how they put together their own personal style. And learn from them.

3. Consider Your Lifestyle

So, let’s be realistic. You can’t keep on buying formal wear just like your favorite Hollywood actor or actress wore on the red carpet if you hardly go to any formal events. You will just end up wasting a lot of money. The appropriate thing to do is to look into clothing that best fits your lifestyles. Because at the end of the day, personal style has a lot to do with practicality. What is your job? What are your everyday activities? Then, think of ways on how to incorporate your personal style preferences in your lifestyle.

4. Consider Your Body Type

It is not just your lifestyle that you need to consider, you also need to examine your body type. Let’s face it, not all of us have bodies like models. Whatever your body type is, know what works for you or not. Learn to identify the body part that you want to highlight or downpaly. Wear clothes that flutters your body and accentuates your best features but without revealing too much.

5. Build on Your Basics

The French are known for their classic and timeless fashion style. But did you know what their secret is? They stick to the basics. They build their wardrobe on basic must-have items and build their wardrobe from there. Once they have the basics on, they add a touch of their individuality through fashion accessories.

6. Stay Comfortable

Are you the type of person who is willing to sacrifice comfort just to look stylish and fashionable? If you are willing to take the extra mile, why not? But for the rest of us, comfort should always be a consideration. If you are not comfortable in an outfit, it will show.

Personal style is about having a sense of yourself and what you believe in everyday.
– Ralph Lauren

Feature Photo by Godisable Jacob from Pexels