personal growth

Apr

2020

Gratitude in Tough Times: Bringing Light in the Dark

Reading Time: 4 minutes

It is easy to be grateful if everything is doing well. However, the challenge lies during difficult times. It is hard but it is something that we need to learn. To practice gratitude during tough times is the only way to bring light in the dark.

Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight.
– Joan Chittister

Pessimistic. Negative thinker. Sensitive. Prone to depression.

That’s who I was.

There were moments that I will just find myself crying. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just feel the sadness, pain, and rejection and all over me. I’d feel deep sorrow permeating inside me. I would cry and cry until I fall asleep again.

And when I am down. Gee! I was really down. And it would be difficult for me to stand up again and live my life. For weeks, my emotions would control and pull me down.

I am the type of person with a melancholic temperament. For a personality like mine, seeing the positive and being grateful is back-breaking.

I had this tough experience but to this day I am thankful. I had this super difficult boss. No matter how much effort I put into everything I do, it will not be appreciated. If I do well in my work there is no need for appreciation because I was just doing my job as expected of me. Those were his words to me. But when I make any mistake no matter how tiny and insignificant, it is easily noticed. I will be reprimanded immediately even in front of many people.

It was an arduous journey. Pessimistic as I am, if I have collected the tears I shed it would have been an ocean. Even my self-esteem went down.

But later on, I learned a very important lesson.

For you to improve the quality of your life, you must see the blessings. Then you will attract more of the things that you can be grateful for.

I am dealing with this difficult boss but I love my job.

My boss is grumpy at times but I am grateful that I can still smile and influence him to smile.

Although my boss is unappreciative but I am grateful for the people around me who support and love me.

Yes, my boss will easily reprimand me for my mistakes but I am grateful for the many opportunities for me to grow and improve.

So, instead of sulking in negativity and self-pity, I changed my perspective and saw it as a challenge. Instead of the negative, I chose to see the blessings and learned to be grateful with the blessings that I have. I chose to work smarter. By reading a lot of books and attending seminars, I began to grow. I learned from my mistake and improved the quality of my work and my disposition.

And when I decided to change myself and the quality of my thoughts, without me knowing, my boss saw my improvement. He even commended me personally and even in front of others about how I have changed and improved through the years.

Because of that experience, I became a better person. A grateful one at that.

Today, you might not have a difficult boss that you are dealing with but instead you are in a difficult situation. You might be experiencing a grueling trial in life or you might be dealing with a loved one or an officemate who is challenging to deal with. You might have problems with your family, your finances, and your health.

I do not know where you are right now. But remember unless we experience failures and hardships in life we will not truly grow. It is essential for our success so that we may bear fruit.

I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop.
– John 12:24

GOD suffered and died for us. He was crucified and was buried in a dark tomb. After three days, He resurrected.

There might be times in our life where we feel it was dark, hopeless, and it seems that the suffering that you are experiencing will not end. You feel buried in the darkness of hardships, trials and difficulties. However, let us remind ourselves that problems in life are temporary because victory is on the way. Easter is coming.

Let us be persons who will see the good in difficult people. Let us be the kind of persons who will see the opportunity in a challenging situation, and the kind who will appreciate what we have, even in the face of darkness.

It is easy to become grateful when life is easy but being grateful when things are difficult is hard. Let us choose to embrace gratitude to be able to get through the hardships. And in the end, we will come out victorious!

Think of one difficult moment or any problem or any challenge you are experiencing in your life right now. Write down 10 blessings that comes with that problem.

Hazel Atencio is author of the book The Gratitude Habit: How to Change Your Life by Saying Thank You Everyday.

She is a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Electronics and Communications Engineering. When she was still in college, she dreamed of entering the convent to dedicate herself serving to God as a nun. She finds her calling serving God in Bo Sanchez ministries.

Hazel’s personal life mission is to influence and add value to others by bringing out their uniqueness and greatness.

To learn more about Hazel, connect with her via her Facebook page or email her at hazel.atencio@gmail.com.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living in 11.14.2018
Feature Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay Images

Apr

2020

Challenges Are Important for Growth and Success

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Challenges are important in life. They are needed to four own personal growth and success.

When facing a problem big or small, are you the type to tackle it head-on, go around it or avoid it? Do you react to a problem in a calm manner or do you react with anger or frustration? When put under pressure, do you often give up or do you become even more motivated? Do you sometimes find yourself asking why are there so many problems in life anyway?

Ideal

Almost everyone’s picture of a happy life is one where a ship always sails through calm waters. It is a life where the problems one faces are few and far in between. And if ever adversities come, they are the kind of problems that are actually pleasant to deal with (e.g., what type of coffee to drink from all the options on hand). But life is not always like that just as the ocean is never always calm. The storms you experience in life are there for a reason and it’s not because you’re just unlucky.

“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”
– Willa Cather

Purpose

Life’s challenges may be painful and we may sometimes feel that they are unfair but they do have their purpose.

If you read the life stories of many great and successful persons, you will find that their lives were hardly easy and smooth and sailing. They had plenty of downs before they had a breakthrough which changed their lives for the better or they had many seemingly unfortunate events which motivated them to pursue their next path towards success. It’s only when looking back that they can connect the dots and see how all their past experiences helped them become the person capable of succeeding.

Self-Reflection

Think back on your life as well. Maybe you had experienced some form of criticism in the past which greatly impacted your way of thinking today or motivated you to improve in a particular area in your life. What other negative experiences did you have that made you an even better version of you?

What’s important to keep in mind is that all the pain and discomfort we experience in these difficult situations is a result of our ability to process our experiences mentally and emotionally. We are in-charge of our own reactions and we can make decisions that steer our thoughts and emotions into a calmer space so that we are in a better state of mind to decide on our next actions.

Challenges give us a chance to improve in the different areas of our life by gaining more experience and wisdom to push forward. They are there to test our limits so we can see how far we can go to reach our goals. At the same time, challenges are opportunities for us to achieve a greater level of success than the limits we have set for ourselves. They are like the fire that melts away the impurities in the materials to bring out its better qualities.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

Challenge

The next time you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place, welcome the challenge. It is an opportunity for personal growth and a nudge that brings you closer to your success. Always keep in mind that like all things, challenges are temporary and they too will pass; but it is always a better feeling afterwards to pass them with flying colors.

Original Photo by Hieu An Tran on Unsplash

Mar

2020

Proper Mindset in Times of Crisis

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone has to go through a crisis in life. It can be the loss of a loved one, a financial issue, a health problem, a conflict with a colleague, a lack of motivation or a pandemic. Whatever it is, it is all part of life. It can lead to despair and anxiety but with the proper mindset and correct strategies in place, you can emerge out of it as a better version of yourself.

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Problems in life are actually opportunities in disguise.

Every adversity is an opportunity for you to change your life for the better. It allows you to figure out what you are capable of. Growth only happens if you successfully navigate through them and learn the lessons in the process. It is going to be tough but it is possible to go through it successfully. All you need is to have the correct mindset.

Your mindset is the way you look at things. You need to believe that you can overcome whatever it is that you are going through right now. Believe in yourself. Remember that your mindset affects the direction of your life.

Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.
– Henry Ford

Here are things that you can do to develop the proper mindset in times of crisis:

1. Acceptance

There are some problems that you can quickly solve but there are others that will be beyond your control. You may feel helpless. You may also feel anguish and pain. That is ok. You just have to learn and accept. Accept things that you cannot change. No matter how much you stress yourself about the situation, you need to move on.

2. Practice Gratitude

The practice of gratitude can help you through tough times. In fact, it is essential. Gratitude will help you look for the silver lining in every situation. Instead of focusing on the negative, gratitude will help you identify and magnify the blessings. It will make you feel optimistic and hopeful because your focus will shift from the negative to the positive. Start your gratitude journal now.

3. Have a Positive Attitude

It is easy to have a positive attitude when things are doing well. It is very difficult to do so when things are tough. Rather, it is much easier to drown in despair and self-pity. No matter how hard, keep in mind that the only road to a better life is to have a positive attitude.

You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you feel and do about what happens to you.
— Harold S. Kushner

Your mindset and attitude about life are both very important. Your mindset will affect the direction of your life whether it is happiness, good health, financial abundance or success that you are seeking.

Change Your Mindset from P overty Mindset to Abundance Mindset

4. Practice Mindfulness

Learn to quiet your mind. Meditate. Find calmness within yourself. The practice of mindfulness helps you deal with the negative emotions like fear, panic, sadness and pain. It is very effective in reducing stress and anxiety. It will also help you get in touch with your inner self. If you need assistance on how to practice meditation and mindfulness, sometimes it helps to seek the help of professionals who can teach you the practice of positive self-transformation.

5. Adopt and Act on The Situation

Instead of waiting for things to be better, do whatever you can to make it better now. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Your future begins today. Get rid of your stubbornness. Learn to adapt to the situation.

Just take for example the COVID-19 pandemic, Wherever you are in the world right now, you are affected. While a great number of people are not infected by the virus physically, the economic and even psychological impact has greatly affected millions of people around the world. You may be powerless to eliminate the problem but you can do something to lessen the impact in your life. You can keep yourself healthy by following the basic rule to combat diseases or do some simple things to improve your finances during a crisis.

If you can follow these things, one day you will be surprised that you have passed the crisis successfully. You have become a better person. You are now more mature to face future challenges.

Feature Image by Motivators world from Pixabay Images

Feb

2020

Rules to A Happy Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Living a happy life seems like a simple goal but in reality, the journey is quite complicated. Depending on where you are in life; you will have a different set of rules that you follow to you can achieve your goals.

Everyone has their own path to happiness but these 7 rules to a happy life can help you along the way.

1. Be Grateful

Whatever life brings you, it pays to be grateful. Recognize that each experience, each situation that you are put in and each person that you encounter pushes you to the right direction.

It may be in the form of support for what you need to pursue your goals or by teaching you a life lesson that you need in order for you to progress to your next step. A positive experience is just as important as a negative experience to enable you to grow and prepare you for the next stage of your life.

2. Stay True to Yourself

Sometimes, we forget our own goals and dreams because we are programmed to conform to what other people’s standards have of us. We compare ourselves with others and want to imitate their kind of success; forgetting that each person has their own form of happiness, their own measure of success.

There is no one path to happiness or success. Stop comparing yourself to other people’s standards and stay true to yourself. Do what you feel is right to fulfill your own definition of happiness or success.

3. Don’t Lose Your Inner Child

“Adulting” is a popular term that we throw around to describe our daily struggles as grown ups. We feel overwhelmed with adult responsibilities that we don’t make time to “play” as it is not an adult thing to do. However, neglecting time for play depletes us of our creativity and may cause us to burn out at work.

Make time to indulge your playful inner child. Give in to your curiosity; ask about something you are curious about instead of suppressing it so you don’t annoy someone. From time to time, try out new things just because it’s exciting or fun and not because you need it for work.

If you have a passion project that involves harnessing your creative side, pursue it and make time for it even if it doesn’t contribute to your current job. You will be surprised how nurturing your inner child can help you grow as an adult.

4. Appreciate the Moment

Have you stopped and smelled the flowers lately? Have you gone out of your way to just stare at a beautiful sunset until it vanishes from view? If not, then now is a good time to start learning how to appreciate the moment.

Appreciating the moment helps you become more observant of the things around you and being grateful for them. It also makes it easier to notice the good things in any situation, place, thing or even person. This means that you shouldn’t hold yourself back from appreciating someone else and be honest about your praise or admiration.

If you have the urge to just bask in the sunshine in the middle of your walk to your office building, give in and enjoy the feeling of warmth revitalizing your whole body. Just remember to look for a safe spot first and don’t suddenly do it in the middle of the street.

5. Share Your Blessings

When you share your blessings you are blessed in return. Blessings don’t have to be just financial in form. Giving someone your time and effort is a form of sharing. Listening to someone vent out their issues is a form of sharing as well.

Financially, you may not have a big amount in your budget for this but the important thing is to share what you are able. So make sure that you include a “Give” or “Gifting” or “Tithe” portion in your budget. Small acts like giving a tip to a restaurant or a salon staff goes a long way.

6. Avoid the Drama

We see drama all the time on TV and in films that we have grown to expect the same situations in real life. We hear different kind of real-life dramas from the news and even from friends and relatives but we all know that these situations are never pleasant and don’t usually have a happy ending. So how do you avoid all the drama?

Focusing on the positive side of things and being grateful will be helpful in these situations. Staying away from people who bring drama into your life is one of the best ways to keep your good vibes all the time.

Of course, if you can’t help but be involved in drama, don’t forget to take a deep breathe and try to keep a level head and analyze the situation from a practical point of view instead of just reacting to your emotions. This way, you can focus on solutions instead of drowning in all the negative details.

7. Learn to Forgive

In order to make it easier for you to follow the rules outlined above, you must learn to forgive. Forgiving yourself first is the first step to accepting yourself and self-acceptance enables you to move on to the next step to become better.

Forgive yourself for your flaws and wrong decisions in the past. Forgive yourself for breaking a promise or indulging in that food treat that’s not supposed to be part of your diet. The important thing is to pick-up yourself again and continue where you left of or start over if needed.

It also important to learn to forgive others. If you carry grudges with you, it will be hard to be grateful. You won’t be able to appreciate the moment or other people; you won’t be able to indulge in fun times and you certainly won’t feel inclined to share your blessings whole heartedly.

Carrying grudges around certainly puts you in a situation that attracts constant drama and negative vibes. So learn to forgive others. Look at what you can learn from the situation or the person and move on from what happened. Forgiving others does not mean that you need to act like nothing bad happened but it is an opportunity to not dwell on the drama anymore and move forward.

Original photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Jan

2020

Worthy Travel Goals

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Travel goals should be a part of everyone’s bucket list. Travelling is fun and full of excitement. It makes people happier. Travelling also helps you grow as a person. It exposes you to a whole new world. It opens your eyes to different ways of doing things. So, if your goal is to have a fresh start, a perfect way in redesigning your life is to have worthy travel goals to make your life better.

Here are worthy travel goals to consider when you go to your next destination:

1. Go to a Place You Have Never Been Before

There is a vast world out there. There are so many places to go to and so many different cultures to experience, so why limit yourself to just a few? Exposing yourself to at least one new place each year is definitely worth your time and resources.

2. Try Traveling Solo

Travelling solo can change you as a person. It will help you grow. When you travel solo, you will have to assume responsibility for your travel. If something goes wrong, there is no one to blame but you. There is no else who should come up with solutions but you . In short, you need to learn the art of survival in an unfamiliar place. You need to be alert all the time and learn to talk to the locals. You will be forced to come out of your comfort zone. In short, the success or failure of your trip lies solely on you. It might be scary at first but once the trip is over, you will go home a better and more confident individual.

3. Meet New Friends

When you travel, you will notice that everyone is friendly. It is so easy to start a conversation with strangers. To befriend the locals, it helps to learn the basic everyday phrases of the local language. If you are part of a tour, you will be surrounded by fellow travelers like yourself. Just simply start a conversation by asking them questions like where there are from or what places they have visited so far in the area. Most of the time, they will be more than pleased to share with you their travel experiences. Meeting friends from around the world is what makes traveling more fun and meaningful.

4. Allow Time for Spontaneity

Having a day-to-day itinerary will help you manage your time and resources well. It will make travelling from one point to another easier if you know where you are going. However, it is not wise to schedule every minute of your trip. That will only lead to stress if it is not followed. Allow some time for spontaneity. If you feel like skipping a part of your tour to just sit in a cafe and watch people; then go ahead.

5. Buy Souvenirs from Local Makers

If you are going to buy souvenirs, don’t buy things that are made abroad. Shop for items that you will never find elsewhere. Buy from local makers and artisans. Bring home something unique.

6. Try the Local Food

One of the best part of travelling is the food. Your travel will not be complete if you are not going to try out the local cuisines. Always try something new. Have a taste of the authentic flavours. A country’s traditional dishes are reflections of their culture.

7. Visit UNESCO World Heritage Sites

A UNESCO World Heritage Site is a place or landmark that is inscribed by the United Nations Scientific and Cultural Organisation as having cultural, historical , intellectual and scientific significance to a particular place. By visiting these sites, you are actually helping the preservation of these places for the future generation. Click here for the complete list of UNESCO World Heritage List .

8. Join Cultural Tours

There is no better way to learn and experience a travel destination than from the locals themselves. Joining a cultural tour will give you an in-depth understanding about the place, its history and the people. There is no need to join a multi-day tour group. There are half-day or whole day tours in almost all travel destinations. Some cities even offer free-walking tours for tourists.

9. Go on An Epic Road Trip

A road trip is the best way to really experience and explore a place. First, you are in charge. You can stop whenever and wherever you want to. You can eat whatever food you like. In short, you are in control and you have the freedom to choose your own adventure.

10. Go on A Cruise

Did you know that a cruise is one of the cheapest way to travel? The fee that you are going to pay for the cruise covers almost everything. It includes the transportation, the accommodation, all meals (including room service, use of facilities and amenities, entrance to live shows onboard. Most importantly, a cruise will take you to several different places or countries in just one trip.

Image by Stock5nap from Pixabay Images

Jan

2020

Traveling Helps You Grow

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Traveling helps you grow as a person. When you travel, you learn about new things. You also discover a world that is different from yours. In the process, you change. When you get home, you are no longer the same person as you used to be.

Learn

Reading books will make you grow as a person. You will have access to a vast range of information. It will entertain you and stimulate your creativity. It will also open your eyes to a new whole world that is different from your reality and make you dream and aspire to become a better version of yourself.

“The world is a book, and those that do not travel read only a page.”
– St. Augustine

St. Augustine of Hippo, said to be one of the most intelligent saints who ever lived, believed in the value of traveling. He correlated reading with traveling. Just like in reading books, travelling will also help you grow as a person. You will see different places and things. You will be exposed to various people, cultures, and beliefs. Because your learn from your travels. traveling helps you grow.

Discover

When you just stay at home or in your area, everything that you do are all habits. Everything is automatic and just merely a part of your routine. However, when you travel, you become alert of your surrounding. You begin to plan and everything that you do will involve decision making. You will also be exposed to a different way of doing things.

Change

When you get back home from your travel. Somehow, a part of you has changed. You begin to look at things differently. You are no longer the same person as you used to be.

If you want to start anew, it is recommended that you travel. Go to a place where you have never been before. Look around you. How is the place different from yours? Observe the locals’ way of life. Are there lessons that you can learn from them? Then think about your life. How do you live your life? Are you contented with where you are right now? What aspects in your life would you like to improve? Being in a new place will help you get a new perspective in who you are and where you want to be. Aim to do this on a regular basis. Make traveling to a place you have never been before at least once a year.

Go out there and travel if you want to grow as a person. So, what are your travel goals for this year?

First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 12.20.2018
Image Credit: Lothar Dieterich from Pixabay Images