Who is the best person to ask for advice? We always have things that we want to learn more about. Who to ask from will depend on what information you want to learn and your goals for asking. Doing your research can help you find the right people. Here are some ways to help you figure out who to ask and in what situations.
Discrete Advice
Discrete advice is what you need for personal matters or family-issues. Emotional issues can result in heated arguments and may strain family relationships. Get the opinion of family members who are not directly involved in the issue. They may also be able to help mediate the situation. You can also ask a trusted friend who can take a more objective perspective of the whole situation. This can also apply when you need to make personal decisions that involve going in favor of or going against specific options.
Counsel
If you need guidance on how to go about a difficult or unfamiliar situation, then you need someone to give you their counsel. Someone with a lot of experience or who has gone under the same situation before is who you should be looking for. This can be older family members, senior colleagues at work, or a friend of a friend who is working in the same industry as you. You can also utilize online forums and groups related to your industry or line of work to get advice on your specific issue.
Coaching
You will need a coach if your goal is to enhance yourself in a specific area of your life. For example, you will want to consult with a training coach if you want to develop a fitter body. you might need a swimming coach if you want to improve your swimming skills. An executive coach may be training you to improve your work skills. There are different kinds of coaches for different personal development needs.
Mentoring
People who want closer guidance to reach their goals will usually go into a mentoring program. A mentor will help guide you to your goals with information that will affect many different areas of your life. Your mentor may even aid in your career success by providing your opportunities to practice what you have learned. A good mentor may also help get you started on your project.
The best person to ask for advice will be different for every need. One person may be able to provide you different kinds of advice as well. For example, if you are having anxiety issues, then a doctor can provide you discrete advice while also serving as your counsel and coach to improve your health. Asking a professional or expert for advice is a good step but always try to get a second opinion so you can have a wider perspective on things.
The most important thing to remember is to be honest about what you need. Use your network of friends to find the right people to get information from. Be courteous when asking for help. Be open to the types of advice you get. Remember though that some people may be biased. The best approach is to ask a number of people and review all the information you received. Then make the best decision you can at the present situation.
Have you been feeling down lately? Are you so sad to the point that you have given up all hope? It is normal to feel depressed at times especially when we lose someone dear to us, when we are struggling to make ends meet or when everything seems to be going against us. Do find consolation that you are not alone. Everyone had to go through such an experience in life. It is okay to not be okay. What is important is how you lift yourself from your lowest point in life. But what if it is too hard? How to not allow yourself to give up? When this happens, it is a sign that you need help. Take courage. Ask someone, “save me”.
Give me your hand, save me, save me. I need your love before I fall.
– BTS
Asking others for help is difficult because it is often perceived as weakness. It crushes our pride. The truth is there is no shame in asking for help. On the contrary rather than weakness; it is a sign of strength. The lack of humility hinders success. Successful people know this. That is why many successful people acknowledge the fact that they don’t know everything. Thus, they surround themselves with valuable people who can help them in different situations.
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all.
– Socrates
In order to overcome struggles in life, you need to surround yourself with people who will support and help you. There is a power in doing things together rather than alone.
But don’t just ask for help from anybody. Seek the help of a friend or loved one who had gone through the same experience as yours who managed to overcome it successfully. It is important though that these people are positive individuals. Avoid toxic persons for they will only lead you to feeling more depressed. In some cases, it is better to seek the help of experts
Remember, no man is an island. Don’t ever think that you are alone. Now, more than ever; it is better to overcome challenges together.
Do you want to become wealthy? The key to wealth is to master the wealth mindset. The difference between the rich and poor has nothing to do with the amount of money that they have in the bank; rather, it is all about their mindset. Your mindset is your set of beliefs and attitudes about certain areas in your life. If money is your concern, then chances are you have symptoms of a poverty mindset. You need to be able to change your poverty mindset to wealth mindset.
Your first step towards financial prosperity is to break out from your poverty mindset. Having a poverty mindset is ruining your chances of success. It is not yet too late to change your life for the better. Once you have the correct mindset, you can slowly rise from whatever position you are in right now in your life.
Here are ways on how to change your poverty mindset to wealth mindset.
1. Have a Grateful Heart
Did you know that about 150,000 people die each day around the world? That number is even greater now that we are in the middle of the pandemic. The fact that you woke up this morning is already one big reason to be grateful for. I’m sure if you take a closer look in your life, you will find so many simple things to be grateful for,
Unfortunately, most people take their blessings for granted. Everyday life is full or worries, challenges and busyness. In the midst of all that pressure, it is very easy to forget to be grateful.
I remember a story told by preacher and best-selling author Bo Sanchez in one his weekly prayer gathering called The Feast.
A woman approached him complaining how everything is wrong with her life. Here is how Bo Sanchez replied.
Bo asked, “Do you have cancer?”. The woman replied saying “no, I don’t have cancer”.
Bo then asked, “Is your husband having an affair?”. The woman laughed saying “no, my husband is ugly. The only two persons in this world who likes him is her mother and me.”
Bo then asked, “Is your child a drug addict?”. By this time the woman was laughing, “no, Bo. My child is only three years old.”
The woman then proceeded to explain that she is having problems with her boss at work.
Then Bo answered by saying that “It is not true then that everything is wrong with your life. Only a small fraction of your life is not doing well.”
This story is a classic example of how a poverty mindset works. People who have poverty mindset focuses on the negative aspect of their life. In order to be happy and to grow, you need to focus on the positive. Be grateful to all the blessings in your life. Always start your day by thanking God for all His blessings. Be thankful also to the people around you have always been there for you.
2. Spend Time with People who have a Growth or Millionaire Mindset
Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with?Your mindset is a product of your environment. If you have a poverty mindset, chances are the people around you have the same mindset. In order to grow, you need to get out of your circle. It does not mean ditching your old friends, it only means that you should spend more time with awesome positive people. If you spend too much time with negative peopledoing meaningless things, you will never get anywhere.
He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
– Proverbs 13:20
3. Set Goals
When was the last time you set a goal for yourself? Setting goals will make you look at things in the long term rather than the short term. A millionaire mindset looks at things in the long term while a poverty mindset looks at things in the short term.
What you should do is to imagine yourself in the future living the life that you want. What will your spring day be like? Discover where you want to be in one, five, ten or even twenty years from now. Remember that success always starts with a vision. Then, write them all down in paper. Read them everyday in the morning to remind yourself of what you want to achieve or better yet, have a vision board. A vision board will inspire you and keep you motivated to achieve your dreams.
Setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible to the visible.
– Tony Robbins
4. Refrain from Speaking the Poverty Language
How many times have you said the following statements?
“I cannot afford it.”
“That is only for the rich, not for us.”
“We don’t have money.”
“I can’t do that.”
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
– Lao Tzu
Be conscious of the words that come out of your mouth because your words are simply a manifestation of your thoughts or your subconscious mind. Speaking the poverty language indicates that you have a negative state of mind regarding your situation. If you want to get out of your situation, you need to get rid of the negative, only then can you change your future.
5. Educate Yourself
For most people, education ends the moment they graduate from college. If you are one of these people, this is probably one the biggest mistake that you can do in your life. Continuous learning is an essential strategy for your success. Education does not not necessarily mean that you need to go back to school to get your Masters or PHD. There are many ways to learn. You can attend training or seminars, read books or simply have a mentor.
For starters, do you have idols? Who among the successful people out there do you wish to become? Then, study those people. Study their lives, their values, their life strategies. Find out what they did in order to get to where they are now. Their stories will definitely inspire you.
By educating yourself, you are improving your skills. You need better skills to be more qualified and successful in whatever field you are in right now. For example, if financial freedom is your goal, have you studied about money and how it works? If not, how do you expect to gain financial freedom if you don’t spend time learning about money?
Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field.
– Brian Tracy
Follow the steps above and you will just wake up one day with a different mindset. However, this is not a one day to do list, it is something that you have to do on a daily basis.
Good luck!
First Published in Pinoy Smart Living on 09.04.2018
But if you are thinking that it is some form of a get rich quick scheme, then you are wrong. Sorry to disappoint you but there is no such thing.
Don’t fall for get rich quick schemes. It takes time and effort to build wealth properly.
– Dave Ramsey
Like any other investment vehicles, stock options trading carries its own degree of risk. When you invest in something, you are always exposing yourself to the uncertainty of the situation. There is always a chance that the result will not turn out to be the way you expect them to be. In fact, if you are not careful, you might end up losing a lot of money trading options.
The good news is that there is actually a way to minimize risk. But first, you must get rid of the get rich quick mindset. Success and wealth does not happen overnight. It takes a lot of time and effort. Once you realized this, then you are now ready to make your investment.
However, going into trading without knowledge is akin to gambling. It is no longer investing.
Without wisdom, gold is quickly lost by those who have it, but with wisdom, gold can be secured by those who have it not.
Mentors are people who are experts in that particular field. Stock option trading mentors are seasoned traders. They have deep understanding, knowledge, skills and expertise on the trade. They don’t just make predictions. because they have used proven and tested strategies for years. Moreover, they read company profiles and financial statements, analyze data and study chart patterns. They use algorithmic trading programs and fundamental analysis. Then, they come up with sound and efficient strategies using the knowledge and information that they have.
Yes, you can read and study about stock options trading on your own. But having the guidance of mentors can make your journey towards wealth easier and faster.
What’s your dream? if you ask young children, more often than not, they will tell you exactly what they want in life. Unfortunately, as people grow older, our dreams and goals become less clear. We get caught up trying to make a living. We are also heavily influenced by society that we ended up losing ourselves in the process. A lot of people nowadays don’t even know what they want. If adults are lost, how do you expect your children, especially the teenagers, to know what they want? Thus as parents, it is important to know how to help your children achieve their dreams.
Big Dreams
While young, have you noticed that children have big dreams? Their dreams have no limitations and restrictions. For them, anything is possible, But as they grow older, their dreams tend to become more conservative and realistic. Gone were the the grand dreams. Some even forget their dreams totally. So, what happened? Where did all the big dreams go?
Role of Parents
As parents, you have great control and influence of your children’s dreams, more than you think you have. What they will believe to be attainable or not are all dependent on what you believe as parents to be possible and impossible. Parents are the children’s inspiration and motivation in life. We are their role models. If you think that your child’s dreams are unrealistic, your child will grow up believing that his/her dreams are simply unattainable. Your negative thinking will greatly influence your child’s thinking. Your mindset affects the direction of both your life and your child’s life.
Supporters
Your role as parents is to support them with their dreams. Believe in them. Everyone has a purpose in life. Everyone is a genius. Your role is to find your child’s genius.
When is your child happy?
What’s his/her talents?
What is he good at?
What activities does he/she like the most?
Observe your children’s interests. Pay attention to the skills that they are good at. Then do your homework. Research about their dreams. Maybe you can afford to enroll them in specialize classes about their interests. You can also help document their dreams. For example, it is so common for teachers in kindergarten to ask children to draw what they want to be when they grow up. Why not keep that paper and file it so that you can show it to your child when he/she grows up? There are so many little things that you can do that can help your child achieve their dreams.
Stewards
Many parents keep on forgetting that it is not about them. So, they ended up forcing their children to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. When in fact, parents do not own their children. Parents are just stewards. Parents are entrusted with the responsibility of looking after their children until they are ready to stand on their own. Thus, parents are managers not owners. Children should have the right to choose their own future.
When you become a parent, it’s not all about you anymore.
– Carre Otis
Role Models
Since very young, children look for someone to imitate. Most of the time, the parents are the closest people that they grow up with. Subconsciously, children grow up imitating their parents. Thus, it is not enough for parents to give guidelines verbally. How a parent acts and behaves are more important than the verbal teachings. A positive role model is a powerful way to influence children in achieving their goals.
Parents must lead by example. Don’t use the cliche; do as I say and not as I do. We are our children’s first and most important role models.
– Lee Haney
No More Dream
What if the children grew up to be unmotivated, or worse, have no more dream despite the parent’s support? This can cause a lot of stress for parents. Of course, parents want their children to have big goals and dreams. Unfortunately, because of the dictates of society or several other factors such as hanging out with the wrong sets of friends; a child can grow up with no dream. If this happens, know that It’s okay. You don’t have to force it right away. it will come in time. But it doesn’t mean that you cannot do anything about it.
New Perspective
Have you heard of the gap year? Others call it the sabbatical year. It is basically a year or semester break before or after college. The purpose is for the student to learn a different perspective in life. The student can go traveling, learn something new, volunteer, get a job or do anything that is different from his/her regular routine.
If a gap year is not feasible, you can opt to make them attend a seminar, watch an inspiring video, read a book or find them a mentor. The key is to help them get a new perspective in life, a different way of looking at things. It is difficult to know what you want if you are subjected to the same routine and environment over and over again.
In a nutshell, the only way to help your children to achieve their dreams is to let them create and allow them to follow their own dreams. Respect their individuality. Refrain from enforcing your own dreams and don’t let them fall prey to society’s expectations. Trust that they can do it. Your belief in them can take them places.
Feeling lost in life? Then, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is for you. One of the best-selling books of all time, the Alchemist is about the story of a young shepherd boy, Santiago and his quest to find treasures in the pyramids. The story is more than just your typical fiction stories. It is a philosophical book that will give you a better understanding of what life truly is all about. It is about listening to your heart, chasing your dreams and pursuing your destiny. There are so many powerful and valuable life lessons from The Alchemist that every person should read this book at least once in their life.
Here are 10 Valuable Life Lessons I’ve learned The Alchemist.
1. Life is Continuous Learning
Life is a continuous learning process. We can only grow us a person if we broaden our horizon and discover new things. Santiago knew this. Although a shepherd boy, Santiago loves to read books. He was able to dream of faraway places because he read about them.
Santiago also listens and seeks advice from people who are smarter than him. Throughout his journey, he met people along the way that served as his mentors– the king, the merchant, the Englishman and the alchemist.
Sadly, many people stopped learning after school. That is the reason why they got stuck in life. Others are too proud to ask advice from others. They think they know everything. The moment you think that you know everything is the start of your downfall.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
– Socrates
Santiago also learns from experience. His quest for the treasure was not smooth sailing. He made mistakes along the way but he learned from them.
There are so many valuable lessons to be learned throughout your life’s journey. Master the lesson. If you think that you have the same problem over and over again, that is because you have not learned the lesson yet. This applies in all aspects of your life whether it be your finances, career, health and even your relationships. Learn the lesson from past events, apply it and move on.
2. Always Look at the Bright Side
Santiago always find the good things in a bad situation no matter how big or small it is. Instead of complaining about how he had to carry the weight of his jacket in the heat of the sun, he remembered how that jacket kept him warm during winter nights. Likewise, he could have wallowed in self-pity when he lost everything in Africa; but he chose to change his perspective. Instead of looking at himself as a victim, he looked at himself as an adventurer in a foreign country.
In both cases, notice that both situations can be viewed negatively. But Santiago chose to look at them differently. Instead of of the negative, he looked for the positive. It is all about themindset.
3. Follow your Dreams
Ever since Santiago was a child, he wanted to travel the world. His parents wanted him to become a priest. Rather than adhering to his parents’ wishes, he summoned enough courage to talk to his dad to tell him that he wants to do something else in life. Instead of becoming a priest, Santiago decided to become a shepherd so he can travel.
That’s the problem with most of us. We become victims of other people’s definition of success. We follow a different path because that is what our family and society expected from us. As a result, we lost track of our destiny. What used to be very clear when we were young seems to be impossible when we grow up.
The thing is no matter how successful we become with our chosen path, there will always be a feeling of emptiness. You will never be truly happy if you are not doing your purpose in life. Destiny is what you always want to accomplish. If you feel that something is lacking despite having everything, that is life’s way of telling you that you are not doing what you were born to do.
Follow your passion. Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. Pursue your destiny if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with regret.
4. Give 10 Percent
Giving a tenth of your income to others is a form of gratitude to God for all the blessings that we have received. We have an obligation to share a portion of what we have. The only way for us to receive more blessings is when we learn to give first. Don’t promise to give what you don’t have yet. If it is hard for you to give when you have little, it will be harder to share when you have more. Give 10% of what you have right now.
5. The Simplest Things in Life are the Most Extraordinary
The secret to happiness is to be able to appreciate the beauty of your day to day life. It is seeing the wonders of the world and the beauty of the little things that we normally take for granted like the flowers, the scenery and the people around us.
Take pleasure in the simple things.
Happiness is never about the destination but rather it is about enjoying the journey. Each day matters. Every second counts. Learn to love everyday. Show the people around you how much you care. It’s all about mindfulness.
Towards the end of our life, the simple things like the time we spend with our family is what truly matters. True happinessboils down to the quality of our relationship with others. It is best that you cherish every moment while you still can.
6. Negative Things Happen in Life Because They Prepare our Spirit and our Will
Bad things happen to everyone, even to good people. These things happen not because we are being punished but because they are necessary for our growth. The pain that we experience in our lives actually prepares our spirit and our will in realising our destiny.
The road to the fulfilment of our dreams is never easy. There will be bumps along the way. Sometimes, we will be forced to make detours. We need to make some adjustments but the destination remains the same. The important thing is to keep on going forward. Once we have succeeded in overcoming life’s challenges, we become better persons.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
– Steve Jobs
The roadblocks that we will encounter are all part of a master plan. They all happened for a reason. It is difficult to understand at the moment but everything will make sense once you have found your treasure.
7. When you Want Something, All the Universe Conspires in Helping you Achieve it
Have you heard of The Secret? The Secret is actually the Law of Attraction. It states that if you really want something and you focus your thoughts on that, the universe will give it to you.
This belief system has been mentioned several times throughout the book, that there is a force out there that guides us. Whether you call it God, the Universe or the Soul of the World; that force is always nearby especially to those who wants to realise their destinies.
We should learn to recognise the omens or the signs and follow them. Sometimes, it appears as a solution or an idea. Sometimes, it presents itself as a direct message from somebody whom you are having a conversation with. Remember, there is no such thing as coincidence. There is a reason why you bumped into an old friend or why you are reading this article right now. We have to listen to what the universe is telling us. We also need to listen inward to our intuition.
In the same way, that if you think that the world is out there to get you, negative things will start happening your way. Thus, you have to be careful of what you think and what you say. In the story, when the monk told the alchemist that his payment goes well beyond his generosity; the alchemist quickly told the monk not to say it because life is listening. What the alchemist meant was that the universe responds to thoughts; thus, the monk might receive less next time.
There were numerous times when Santiago could have just given up, when he lost everything in Africa, when he had enough money to go back to Andalusia after working for the merchant or when he met Fatima in the desert oasis; but still he persevered.
Your treasure can only be uncovered after a series of tests. The closer you get to your dreams, the harder it will become. It takes a lot of courage, patience and persistence to finally be able to achieve your destiny.
9. Success Happens Outside your Comfort Zone
Santiago was already traveling as a shepherd boy but he sold his flock of sheep to go to Africa. After a year in Africa, he already earned enough money to either stay there or to go back to Andalusia but he chose to go to the desert. While in the desert oasis, Santiago had met the love of his life and earned the respect of the community but still, he opted to continue his quest for the treasure.
In all three scenarios, Santiago was already successful and comfortable with his life but he gave them all up to continue his journey and pursue his destiny. Just what do you think would have happened in the story if he decided to stay in his comfort zone. Do you think, he would have found his treasure?
In reality, many people don’t like change or are scared of change. As much as we want to pursue our dreams, we are more scared of disappointment. We are scared that we might lose everything that we have worked for if we are going to start anew. We would rather stay in our comfort zone. This is the reason why people get stuck in life whether it is a bad relationship or a job that they don’t like. Fear is one of the biggest obstacles that is keeping us from achieving our dreams.
10. Everyone has His Own Destiny
If a person is successful in one area, it does not mean that you too will be successful in that same area. It is because each person has his own destiny to fulfil. His way is not the same as yours. So, don’t compare yourself with others.
No matter who we are, everyone has a central role to play in the history of the world. Each one of us is unique. Embrace your uniqueness. As the Englishman said, we all can’t become alchemist, otherwise, gold will lose its value.
Good luck on your journey and I hope you find your treasure!
First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 08.24.2018
Feature Image from Free Image and mbll from Pixabay Images.
The presence of a support group in your lives is an essential factor to success. Your support group will serve as your driving force for success. You need people who will believe in you when no else would and will stay by your side when all others left. If you are a Kdrama fan, you might want to check out some dramas about having a support group. These dramas illustrate the importance of having people around that served as the wind beneath the wings of the leads. Here are the list of Korean Dramas about having a support system for success:
1. Birth of a Beauty (2014)
Overweight and kind-hearted Sa Geum-Ran spent years being maltreated and abused by her in-laws while her husband had an affair. To make matters worse, his husband was the one who asked for a divorce. To get revenge, she underwent an extreme makeover. She worked together with Han Tae Hee as her life coach. Han Tae Hee is an heir to a large corporation who is suffering from a broken heart syndrome.
The Doctors is a medical drama about a troubled teenager Yoo Hye-jung. She changed her delinquent ways when she met her mentor, Dr. Hong Ji Hong. He is a neurosurgeon who played a major role in influencing the life of the heroine and transforming her from a troublesome youth to a compassionate and successful doctor.
Boo Yong-ju was once a famous doctor who gave it all up to live in a small town. There, he became Teacher Kim and served as mentors to young doctors who lost their way in their professions. He taught them skills. He also served as inspiration for them to remain righteous in their careers and not become doctors who merely aspire for fame, wealth and power.
The male lead, Kim Min-Kyu is a very rich man but lives in isolation because he has a severe allergy from human contacts. He becomes interested in a humanoid robotic project called Aji3. When the robot Aj3 malfunctioned on the scheduled demonstration, the inventor sent Jo Ji-ah to pretend and act like the robot. Through Aji3, the male lead was slowly able to overcome his mental and health issues and began trusting humans again.
The drama is about two broken and flawed individuals who found each other and helped heal one another in the process. It is not your typical romantic comedy because it deals with mental health. A bestselling mystery novel writer and psychiatrist both have traumatic pasts. The story is all about their journey towards healing, love and acceptance.
Cha Do-Hyeon is a third generation billionaire who suffered from multiple personality disorder because of a traumatic childhood. He was able to regain control of his life, despite his seven different personalities through the help of Oh Ri-Jin, a first year psychiatric resident.
Protect the Boss is a workplace romantic comedy between a boss and his secretary. The boss, Cha Ji Heon, is an immature youngest son of a conglomerate. The male lead is the exact opposite of the strong, tough, independent and strong-minded female lead, Noh Eun-Sol the secretary. Trust and friendship were formed as two started working together. Because of Noh Eun-Sol’s support and belief in her boss; Cha Ji Heon finally got his act together, overcame with his fears and managed to prove himself worthy of becoming the successor of the business.
8. Reply 1988 (2016)
Reply 1988 is a story about five people who live in the same neighborhood and have been friends since childhood. It is a story of family, friendship, and dreams in life. It shows the ups and downs of their everyday lives and their journey towards happiness and success. The drama depicts the importance of having a support system around you, those people who will accept you for who you really are.
This is a teen drama that depicts the life, struggles and dilemmas of students. It is about friendship, growing up and having hope for the future. Kang Se Chan and Jung In Jae are school teachers in the story who have a class of tough teenagers. They are two teachers who greatly influenced the lives of the their students in more ways than one. They were able to help the students overcome their struggles and start dreaming of a better tomorrow.
The Secret Life of My Secretary is about a cold boss who fired his overworked secretary despite her efficiency and his overly dependence on her. He ended up needing her help again when he lost his ability to recognize faces. Together, they solve the mysteries and challenges of the mobile media company and in their lives.
No man is an island. According to the longest study on happiness, we all need healthy and fulfilling relationships with other people in order to be truly happy. However, not all relationships are the same. There are varying degrees of closeness. There are people you need in your life, those who are really close to us. These people have significant influence in our lives while there are others who are mere acquaintances.
It is important to have a clear understanding of the different levels so that you will be able to discern your relationship with each individual. In this way, it is easy to set boundaries on the friendship. After all, not everyone can be your best friend.
The Dunbar Number
According to a theory formulated by Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist and psychologist from the University of Oxford, based on the size of the human brain; an average person can have 150 persons on his/her social group. This is the maximum number of persons that we can have a relationship with. More than that would just be mere acquaintances. Out of this 150, about 50 are considered as close friends. Close friends are those who you hang out with, go to parties or dinner with. You see them often but you don’t really confide in them. Out of this 150, about 15 are your confidants. You talk about each other’s lives and you confide in them. Out of this number, only 5 serve as your support group. To put it simply, out of all your facebook friends or instagram followers, you only have a genuine relationship with 150 of them.
Now, let’s go to your support group, your top 5. Who are your type 5? Your top five plays a very important part in your life. Have you heard that you are the average of the five persons you spend most of your time with? Yes, you are the average of your support group. They have a big influence on either your success or failure in life. That is why it is important to be choosy when it comes to your support group.
Your magic five can serve as your inspiration, balance, encouragement, challenge and supporter.
The Five People You Need in Your Life
1.The Cheerleader
A cheerleader by definition is someone who supports you. This person is your biggest fan. Your cheerleader can be your parent, sibling, spouse, best friend or boss. He/she is your greatest source of encouragement, someone who lifts you up when you are down and someone who stays behind when others have left.
2.The Mentor
Everyone wants to be successful in life. Unfortunately, the road to success is not easy. It is full of challenges and hardships. Success rewards only the bravest and those who are willing to persevere. A mentor is someone who has taken that same road before. He/she is someone who is already successful in that particular field. A mentor can provide you with knowledge and information that you need in order to shorten your journey to success.
3.The Brutally Honest
Let’s face it, there are certain circumstances in life wherein you are on the wrong path and no one around you is brave enough to tell you the harsh truth. Well, that’s the reason why you need someone who is brutally honest in your inner circle. You need somebody who will tell you that truth not just people who tells you what you want to hear. It is the only way for you to remain grounded and that to ensure that you are on the correct path.
4. The Energizer
Life is full of challenges. It can be draining at times. That is why it is important to have fun to keep yourself sane. This is the role of the energizer in your life. That person is your go to friend if you want to have fun. He/she picks you up when you are down and gives you strength and energy. The energizer is full or positivity and enthusiasm about life. There is never a dull moment with the energizer around.
5. The Like-Minded
The collaborator is somebody with similar interests. The two of you shares the same passion, hobbies, food, music and other activities together. He/she is someone that serves as your companion and partner in doing things that you enjoy. You are very compatible together.
Find these five people that you need in your life to help you live a successful and fulfilling life.
You need a mentor to fast track your way to success. However, finding a good mentor is not that easy. You cannot just choose anybody that you like. There are some things that you need to consider first in finding a good mentor.
1. Define your Goals
First, ask yourself, what is it that you want? What do you want to achieve in life? Do you want to be successful in a specific field? Are you aiming for a healthy and sexy body? Do you want to be wealthy? What are your goals in life?
Your choice of mentor is highly dependent on what your goals are. Just because somebody is successful does not necessarily mean that that person is the best person to be your mentor. Your mentor’s achievements should be in line with what you want to achieve in life.
2. Be Specific
Once you have defined your goals, you should now look for someone who already achieved whatever it is that you want to achieve. Ask yourself, is there somebody whom you aspire to be like? Who is your role model?
You should not limit yourself to just one mentor. You can have as many as you deem necessary. For example, your wealth mentor may not necessarily be your health mentor. That’s why you need to be specific not just in identifying what you want but in identifying the people whom you think had achieved success in that particular aspect in their lives.
3. Look into Expertise
One of the things that you need to consider in finding a good mentor is his/her level of expertise on the subject. If you want to grow your finances, you need to look for people who know how to handle and grow their money. If you want to have a perfect body, you need to look for people who have perfect body themselves. You want to have a healthy relationship with your partner, you need to look for people who have been in a happy relationship for years. The point is, your mentor should be an expert in that particular field.
There are people who asked money advice from people who are in financial situations worst than them. In the same way, that there are people who asked relationship and marital advice from their single friends.
It is like this, if you want to learn how to play tennis, will you ask a person who doesn’t know how to play tennis to teach you? Of course not! You are going to look for a couch who is an expert in playing tennis. This should also be the case when it comes to finding mentors. Look for someone who has been that road before.
4. Build Authentic Relationships
The best place to look for a mentor is around you. Are there people around you whom you respect and admire? Are there people whom you look up to?
Once you have identified these people, make an effort to build authentic relationships with them. Attend social gatherings. Connect with these people. Keep in touch. These small interactions can help you build a genuine relationship with them. You cannot just simply approach a stranger to be your mentor. It is best that you establish a good personal relationship with them first.
5. Read
Although a personal relationship with a mentor is always better, books about and written by people whom you admire can also be a form of mentorship. Just like a real person, books also have the power to change your thinking and beliefs. Many people succeeded in changing the way they look at things simply by reading books. For instance, if you want to be successful and wealthy, read books about wealth and success.
This is especially useful if there are no people around you who are experts in that particular field that you want to excel to. There are tons of information available out there even in the internet about famous and successful people. Read about them. Learn from their stories and apply the lessons in your life.
If you are not the reading type of person, you can still watch videos of interviews or you can listen to podcasts. The point is the information is available out there.
Good luck in finding a good mentor!
Updated Version. First Published in Pinoy Smart Living in 06.28.2019.
Feature Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Images.
Life is exciting. We all want to create and accomplish something that we can call our own – something that we can be proud of. However, the reality is it is not always easy. Life is hard. There will be many obstacles along the way. True, we can just try to navigate it on our own and learn from the process. That is one way of doing it. But, what if there is a shortcut?
Let’s look at it this way. Both the billionaire and the average worker have 24 hours a day. Do you think the billionaire works harder than the average worker? More than simply working hard, what differentiates the two is that the billionaire has learned to work smarter. That is why you need a mentor for success.
You see, there is that long road to success but there is a better way. It is shorter but it entails you to learn from someone else, someone who has already been there. Someone who is smarter than you and someone who can teach you everything you need to know in order to succeed. This someone is what you call a mentor.
Every great achiever is inspired by a great mentor.
– Lailah Gifty Akita
By definition, a mentor is an experienced and trusted adviser. A mentor is someone who can inspire you and guide you and is an expert in that particular field. A mentor can also help you go think through challenges in life. Having the guidance and support of a mentor will do wonders to your professional and personal life.
However, it is not that easy to receive advise from others. It is difficult to follow especially if we have our own ideas and ways in doing things. That is why in order to receive coaching, you must first be open to learning. You need to accept the fact that you don’t know everything. You need a mentor for success if you want your path to be easier and faster.
The only True Wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
– Socrates
You need other people in order to succeed. Their expertise and resources will help you achieve your goals faster. Get help, support and feedback from mentors. That is how you become great.
If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
