Everyone wants to be happy. There is no argument about that. The question is, what will make you happy? If happiness is your ultimate life goal, where will you spend most of your time and energy? Will you focus on gaining financial abundance, good health, strong relationship, successful career or prestige and power? What do you need to achieve to have a good life? A Harvard Study that started in the late 1930s has been examining this question for years now. It is the longest study that has ever been done. So, what makes a good life?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development otherwise known as the Grant Study, had followed 724 men, year after year, from the time they were teenagers, to their marriage and career life all the way to their old age. While the original 268 men were from Harvard University, the remaining 456 men were from Boston’s poorest neighborhood. For years, the men agreed to have regular extensive interviews, together with a series of physical and physiological examinations to determine their physical, mental and emotional well being.
Some of these men became workers and bricklayers. Others became alcoholic and developed schizophrenia. At the same time, a great number of them achieved great success and became doctors and lawyers. One of them even became a US President.
So, what makes a good life? If you think that money, fame and success are the answers, think again. After almost 75 years of research, here are the three big lessons they have learned according to Robert Waldinger, the fourth director of the study:
1. Social Connections are Important to our Well Being
People who have deep connections with their family, friends and community lived happier, healthier and longer lives. Social connections improved one’s physical, mental and emotional well being. People who live in isolation and are lonely often live shorter lives.
2. Quality of your Relationship Matters
When it comes to relationships, it is quality over quantity. It is not a matter of how many friends you have or if you are married or not, but rather it is all about whether you have a healthy relationship with the people around you. The quality of your relationship will determine your quality of life. In the study, the people who are happy and satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
3. Happy Relationships Protect Both the Body and the Brain
Happy relationships not just protect our physical body but also our mental and brain health. The people who are secure and happy in their relationships remained sharp while the others who don’t have meaningful relationships suffered from memory decline.
Check out this Ted talk by Robert Waldinger for more insights:
Do you want to have a good life? Then improve on your social wellness. Invest in the quality of your relationships with the people who are dear to you. Make this your first step towards a better life.
First published May 7, 2020.
Feature Image by Posted by A.L. Jonas in Social, 0 comments
Death is one thing that is constant in life. Whether we like it or not, every person has to go thru death. So, our time here on earth is just borrowed. We are not going to be with our loved ones forever. Sooner or later, we will be separated through death. That is why it is important to cherish your loved ones while you still can. Sometimes, we only know how much a person means to us after we lose the person. Don’t wait for that to happen because regret is hard to overcome. Let’s hope we don’t have to say, if only like Marizel. If only are two saddest words in the world. If I would have known that I’d never see you again, If I would have known that was the last time we would be together. If I would have known I’d never get another chance to talk to you, to hold you, to kiss you, to touch you, If I would have known I’d wake up the next day without you in my life, I would have held you a little tighter, kissed you a little longer, talked to you on and on, touched your hand, and never let it go, gently whispered “I love you” over and over again, and asked you with all my heart, “how could I live without you?”. I would have done all these, and more, so much more. If only… If only I would have known. As the clock strikes zero o’clock, let’s all be nicer, kinder and more loving to persons who are dear to us. Marizel Layco Beck started writing poems as a way to release her pain and to express her sadness with the sudden passing of two people who were very dear to her, one after another. She lost her father, Ver five days after he was rushed to the hospital because of stomach pains. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. And then, a WEEK later, she lost her sister, Karen. Karen died of a heart attack in her sleep. To read more of Marizel’s poems, visit The Grief Toolbox. It is no secret that an attitude of gratitude has positive effects but we seldom take the time to express gratitude in our daily lives. One way to incorporate this habit is by keeping a Gratitude Journal. Keeping a gratitude journal can change your life. Even Oprah Winfrey keeps such a journal: …whenever there’s a grateful moment, I note it. I know for sure that appreciating whatever shows up for you in life changes your personal vibration. You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots. Starting a gratitude general is easy. Just get yourself a notebook and pen and write down 3-5 things that you are grateful for in your day. You may do this right before you sleep or you can out your notebook whenever you feel there’s something good to be grateful for throughout the day. Here are some of the ways, a Gratitude Journal, can change your life. Writing down the things that you are grateful for increases your positive vibes. It makes you more optimistic about your life as you focus on the good things that you are thankful for, taking time away from dwelling too much on negative thoughts and emotions. As you write down your blessings, you may even find yourself smiling more. By seeing the good in things, you will also be able to easily see the good in you and be more appreciative of yourself. In doing so, you tend to lessen the impulse to compare yourself to others. Writing down your thoughts also increases your confidence in communicating with others as you are able to practice expressing your thoughts and feelings unto paper which in turn, can help you express them verbally to other people. At least, it helps you improve your memories of good experiences. The habit of reviewing your day to look for things you are grateful for enhances your associative memory. It is easier to recall things that you have strong feelings for than those that you don’t or just experienced in passing. This habit may even help you get rid of phobias from past traumas as you slowly start associating things that were previously negative in context with new experiences that are now more positive. Developing a grateful attitude even in tough times inevitably results in feeling less stressed about life than usual. As you see more good things around you, noticing more positive things happening around you, you also tend to look for the positive in every situation. The time you spend worrying is gradually reduced and replaced with time spent observing and being grateful for what’s good in the moment. A habit of gratitude also enhances your innate sense of faith that things will eventually turn out for the best and you go about your day with a more positive outlook of the future than you did before. As you review your day and ponder over the things that you are grateful for, you are less likely to dwell on your worries and enjoy a more sound, restful sleep. Writing down on your Gratitude Journal for just 15 minutes before going to sleep is a good way to wind down and put your mind into a calm state that encourages restful sleep. You will see that as you practice being grateful, you will attract more things that you will be grateful for. Try keeping a Gratitude Journal for a at least a month and see if you experience the life-changing results. Feature Image: Original Photo by Freshh Connection on Unsplash.
If Only Are Two Saddest Words in the World
If Only
How Keeping a Gratitude Journal Can Change Your Life
1. Increase Positivity
2. Improve Confidence
3. Improve Memory
4. Reduce Stress
5. Better Sleep