life

Sep

2020

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Reading Time: 2 minutes

People have the tendency to always make themselves feel better, or at least pretend to be better when in front of others. That’s human nature. However, what if you are emotionally bro ken? Is it still okay to fake it when you are breaking inside? Well, life is full of challenges. All our emotional experiences, our pains and failures, are all necessary components for our growth and success. Thus, it is important that we go through them and not avoid them. No matter how painful it is, feeling the emotional experiences is the only way to overcome challenges in life. So yes, it’s okay to not be okay.

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Have you seen the Korean drama It’s okay to Not Be Okay? Aside from the stellar performances of its cast, the drama is packed with significant lessons on life and mental health. It’s all about overcoming psychological wounds in order to grow and be truly happy in life.

We all had to go through painful experiences at one point in our lives. In truth, all of us are broken in our own way. What’s important is how we get through the lowest point in life. And the only way to do this is to first feel the pain. Pain is necessary. It is unavoidable. So give yourself time to feel the pain. It can be a day, a week, a month or even a year. No need to pretend that you are okay when you are not.

And then after some time, it is time to let go. That’s the only way to move forward.

It’s healthy to admit you’re not okay. It’s okay not to be okay, it’s brave. But don’t let it win. Be sad. Have your moment, your day or week. Then do something about it and be happy for yourself.
-Jessie J.

Feature Image by Huy Ngan from Pixabay Images

Jun

2020

People You Need in Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

No man is an island. According to the longest study on happiness, we all need healthy and fulfilling relationships with other people in order to be truly happy. However, not all relationships are the same. There are varying degrees of closeness. There are people you need in your life, those who are really close to us. These people have significant influence in our lives while there are others who are mere acquaintances.

It is important to have a clear understanding of the different levels so that you will be able to discern your relationship with each individual. In this way, it is easy to set boundaries on the friendship. After all, not everyone can be your best friend.

The Dunbar Number

According to a theory formulated by Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist and psychologist from the University of Oxford, based on the size of the human brain; an average person can have 150 persons on his/her social group. This is the maximum number of persons that we can have a relationship with. More than that would just be mere acquaintances. Out of this 150, about 50 are considered as close friends. Close friends are those who you hang out with, go to parties or dinner with. You see them often but you don’t really confide in them. Out of this 150, about 15 are your confidants. You talk about each other’s lives and you confide in them. Out of this number, only 5 serve as your support group. To put it simply, out of all your facebook friends or instagram followers, you only have a genuine relationship with 150 of them.

Now, let’s go to your support group, your top 5. Who are your type 5? Your top five plays a very important part in your life. Have you heard that you are the average of the five persons you spend most of your time with? Yes, you are the average of your support group. They have a big influence on either your success or failure in life. That is why it is important to be choosy when it comes to your support group.

Your magic five can serve as your inspiration, balance, encouragement, challenge and supporter.

The Five People You Need in Your Life

1.The Cheerleader

A cheerleader by definition is someone who supports you. This person is your biggest fan. Your cheerleader can be your parent, sibling, spouse, best friend or boss. He/she is your greatest source of encouragement, someone who lifts you up when you are down and someone who stays behind when others have left.

2.The Mentor

Everyone wants to be successful in life. Unfortunately, the road to success is not easy. It is full of challenges and hardships. Success rewards only the bravest and those who are willing to persevere. A mentor is someone who has taken that same road before. He/she is someone who is already successful in that particular field. A mentor can provide you with knowledge and information that you need in order to shorten your journey to success.

3.The Brutally Honest

Let’s face it, there are certain circumstances in life wherein you are on the wrong path and no one around you is brave enough to tell you the harsh truth. Well, that’s the reason why you need someone who is brutally honest in your inner circle. You need somebody who will tell you that truth not just people who tells you what you want to hear. It is the only way for you to remain grounded and that to ensure that you are on the correct path.

4. The Energizer

Life is full of challenges. It can be draining at times. That is why it is important to have fun to keep yourself sane. This is the role of the energizer in your life. That person is your go to friend if you want to have fun. He/she picks you up when you are down and gives you strength and energy. The energizer is full or positivity and enthusiasm about life. There is never a dull moment with the energizer around.

5. The Like-Minded

The collaborator is somebody with similar interests. The two of you shares the same passion, hobbies, food, music and other activities together. He/she is someone that serves as your companion and partner in doing things that you enjoy. You are very compatible together.

Find these five people that you need in your life to help you live a successful and fulfilling life.

Feature Image by florentiabuckingham from Pixabay Images

Jun

2020

Things to Consider in Finding a Good Mentor

Reading Time: 3 minutes

You need a mentor to fast track your way to success. However, finding a good mentor is not that easy. You cannot just choose anybody that you like. There are some things that you need to consider first in finding a good mentor.

1. Define your Goals

First, ask yourself, what is it that you want? What do you want to achieve in life? Do you want to be successful in a specific field? Are you aiming for a healthy and sexy body? Do you want to be wealthy? What are your goals in life?

Your choice of mentor is highly dependent on what your goals are. Just because somebody is successful does not necessarily mean that that person is the best person to be your mentor. Your mentor’s achievements should be in line with what you want to achieve in life.

2. Be Specific

Once you have defined your goals, you should now look for someone who already achieved whatever it is that you want to achieve. Ask yourself, is there somebody whom you aspire to be like? Who is your role model?

You should not limit yourself to just one mentor. You can have as many as you deem necessary. For example, your wealth mentor may not necessarily be your health mentor. That’s why you need to be specific not just in identifying what you want but in identifying the people whom you think had achieved success in that particular aspect in their lives.

3. Look into Expertise

One of the things that you need to consider in finding a good mentor is his/her level of expertise on the subject. If you want to grow your finances, you need to look for people who know how to handle and grow their money. If you want to have a perfect body, you need to look for people who have perfect body themselves. You want to have a healthy relationship with your partner, you need to look for people who have been in a happy relationship for years. The point is, your mentor should be an expert in that particular field.

There are people who asked money advice from people who are in financial situations worst than them. In the same way, that there are people who asked relationship and marital advice from their single friends.

It is like this, if you want to learn how to play tennis, will you ask a person who doesn’t know how to play tennis to teach you? Of course not! You are going to look for a couch who is an expert in playing tennis. This should also be the case when it comes to finding mentors. Look for someone who has been that road before.

4. Build Authentic Relationships

The best place to look for a mentor is around you. Are there people around you whom you respect and admire? Are there people whom you look up to?

Once you have identified these people, make an effort to build authentic relationships with them. Attend social gatherings. Connect with these people. Keep in touch. These small interactions can help you build a genuine relationship with them. You cannot just simply approach a stranger to be your mentor. It is best that you establish a good personal relationship with them first.

5. Read

Although a personal relationship with a mentor is always better, books about and written by people whom you admire can also be a form of mentorship. Just like a real person, books also have the power to change your thinking and beliefs. Many people succeeded in changing the way they look at things simply by reading books. For instance, if you want to be successful and wealthy, read books about wealth and success.

This is especially useful if there are no people around you who are experts in that particular field that you want to excel to. There are tons of information available out there even in the internet about famous and successful people. Read about them. Learn from their stories and apply the lessons in your life.

If you are not the reading type of person, you can still watch videos of interviews or you can listen to podcasts. The point is the information is available out there.

Good luck in finding a good mentor!

Updated Version. First Published in Pinoy Smart Living in 06.28.2019.

Feature Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Images.

Jun

2020

7 Ways to Make Your Life More Fun

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Imagine yourself writing a novel and that novel is your life. You know what you want to happen in the future, but at the moment; you don’t know how to continue the story to get there. Have you experienced times like these when it feels like you are stuck in a rut?

Most people would just label you as procrastinating or being lazy but this feeling is real. More often, it’s because of exhaustion or boredom, or a lack of something that you want in your life that you can’t quite put a finger on.

From time to time, we all want to take a break from routine. We want to experience something more exciting and fun. We want to feel that our life is fun and interesting again. Having these moments does not make you weird. It is a normal phase in everyone’s life. You can call it a minor quest in the game of life, and going through it actually helps you grow.

If you’re trying to get yourself out of a funk right now, here are some things you can do to inject more fun into your life.

1. Watch the Sun Rise

If you usually snooze until 6AM, try waking up earlier so you’re up and about before the sun rises. It would be helpful if you also slept earlier the night before but you can use an alarm clock. No matter how sleepy or groggy you feel, get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button. Drink some water and get yourself some sunshine.

You can open your window or go outdoors to watch the sun rise. Don’t look at the sun directly of course. You can close your eyes and soak up the sunshine. Or you can snap some pictures or draw the scenery or write about it on your journal. Random activities like this encourage you to appreciate life in a fun way. The point is to take some time in your day to appreciate this phenomenon that we usually take for granted. Alternatively, you can watch the sun set too.

2. Try a New Playlist

Can’t focus on work even with your go-to music playlist? Consider working with a new set of songs. Maybe dance songs can energize you more instead of your usual classical music. Or try a fusion of both – modern pop songs played by classical instruments or an orchestra. You can choose music that makes you feel happy or sad, inspired or heart broken. You already know which choice is better for you.

If there are movies who’s theme songs inspire you, search for them online and use that for a change. Or if you want something without instruments, try acapella music or listening to a podcast about a topic you’re interested in. Life shouldn’t feel too dull when you are having fun listening to something that stimulates you.

3. Reorganize Your Stuff

Sometimes boredom sets in when we want something new in our environment. Life can lose its fun when you keep seeing the same things each day. No wonder you feel bored and exhausted with your life!

Take a good, long look at your office setup and try to rearrange the furniture another way. You can also do this for other rooms in your house. Maybe move some of your favorite decorative items from one room to another. If your favorite lamp is in your bedroom, maybe using it on your work desk would improve your creativity and productivity.

Consider doing some decluttering to clear out your room or house and your mind. Maybe you need to reorganize your wardrobe. Or maybe you need to let go of things you are not using to improve the look and feel of your entire home.

4. Sweat Out Your Funk

Rearranging your furniture not enough? Maybe you need more intense activity to stimulate you. Put on your exercise clothes, put on your favorite dance music play list and start moving. Or use a dance exercise video that you like. Inject some fun into your life but doing something you love without fear of judgment.

Just focus on moving your body and don’t mind if you aren’t a good dancer. We all know that exercise can help get your good vibes going. Just don’t do it so intensely that you sprain or break something. Be sure to hydrate yourself and take a break when you need to. Observing healthy habits daily is one way to keep up your energy and avoid feeling exhausted or bored with your day.

5. Catch Up With a Friend

Exhaustion and boredom can also be caused by lack of communication or social interaction. Think of a friend or a family member who you haven’t talked to for some time and make an appointment to call them. Make sure they aren’t busy when you call.

Don’t stress yourself out on what you can talk about. Just be honest and tell them that you just want to talk to them. You can recall the fun you had at certain points in your life when you could still go out together. Most of the time, you will get a positive response. Your friend will appreciate the break in their routine too.

6. Write A Letter to Your Younger Self

Pretend that you are now the successful version of yourself. You need to write a letter to encourage your younger self to not forget to have fun in their daily life. Most importantly, you need explain to them why they shouldn’t give up on their dreams. Be honest and sincere in your letter. It doesn’t matter how long it becomes as long as you are able to put out your true feelings. This process can be therapeutic and help you loosen up some emotional stress that you may be holding on to.

Tears maybe involved as you write your letter so be sure to have a box of tissues and water with you as you do this. You can also play some background music and light some candles to enhance the ambiance. Make the experience special. You are not only going back through memory lane; you are reconnecting with yourself in the process and also creating a new and memorable experience.

7. Read Out Loud

In your younger years, wasn’t it fun to be someone else and live a different life every now and then? Recreate those fun moments again. Get your favorite book or any book that’s at hand and read out loud. Magazines and newspapers also work. You can choose how to read it. You can read it faster than you usually would.

Maybe pretend that you are a broadcaster reading the news or a journalist reporting on site. Read it like you are in a stage play, or read it in a different voice like a movie voice over or a book narrator. Or if it’s a story you’re reading, read it using different voices for each character like when you read children’s stories.

Pick helpful books and articles that are interesting and fun to read instead of those with sad or horrifying topics. Make sure not to disturb your neighbors though, so read out loud but don’t shout. This is a fun way to raise your confidence too.

Why Are You Not Having Fun?

If none of these seem to work, maybe you should ask yourself why you are not having fun in your life. Sometimes, there are more deep-seated reasons why you feel exhausted about your life and why you feel bored of living.

Ask yourself these questions to help you find out why you are feeling this way about your life. Maybe there are some things in your life that you are not addressing. These questions should help you find the reason for your feelings and also help you get to know yourself better.

There are other things you can do when you are stuck at home and feeling bored to ensure that you always have fun experiences in your life. Whatever it is that has got you stuck in your life right now, know that you’re going to be ok. Recognize that the Universe has got your back and a lot of us are cheering you on. Let us overcome this together and become better versions of ourselves from the experience.

Got other ideas on how to inject more fun into your daily routine? We would love to hear them in the comments.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Jackson David from Pexels.

Apr

2020

Rise Above the Storm

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Challenges are part of our daily lives. They come in many forms. They can be in the form of financial difficulties, work problems, health issues or relationship conflicts. While some challenges are manageable, others are not. Sometimes, they can be very difficult to overcome especially if it is something that is beyond our control. Whatever problems you are encountering right now, the most important thing is how to rise above the storm.

An example the Covid-19 pandemic. It came unexpectedly. No one was prepared for the negative effects it brought into people’s lives. We feel angry, frustrated, anxious and depressed. Despite our helplessness, there are some things that we can do to protect ourselves and to help others.

All challenges are the same. It is natural to feel helpless, frustrated, depressed and anger. Embraced that feeling for awhile. However, you need to go beyond that in order to successfully overcome the challenge. You can’t live with your negative emotions forever.

So, what are you going to do about it?

The Right Approach

The fact is, the challenges that you encounter in life will never go away on their own. You need to face and address them. You need to have the right attitude. Start by acceptance. Then, you need to detach yourself from the problem and look at it from a different perspective. By doing so, you will be able to discover your strengths and new abilities that you have never known before. It is ok to ask for help or reach out to others if you feel that it is too much for you to handle alone.

Of course, you always have to option to feel distressed. You can blame it on others. You can even choose to harm yourself and others. But you can also choose to fight. You can choose to stand up again and not be defeated. The decision is yours to take.

It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
– Epictetus

Join us this month as we help you go rise above your challenges. Together, let us all overcome whatever it is that we are going through and emerge as stronger, healthier, happier and better persons in the process.

Feature Image by Kryzsztof Pluta from Pixabay Images

Mar

2020

30-Day Just Do It Challenge

Reading Time: 3 minutes

If you want to change your life for the better, you need to start implementing some changes now. Don’t wait until tomorrow or next year to start making some adjustments. Success does not happen overnight. It is a product of all the little things that you do daily. The sooner you start making some changes. the sooner you will be able to achieve everything that your heart desires. Start now! Dare yourself to do the 30-Day Just Do It Challenge!

Before you begin, you need to figure out what it is that you want. Start by creating a bucket list. It is a list of all the things that you want to accomplish and do in life. From the list, identify your priorities through the 5/25 Rule Challenge.

Once you have identified your priorities, it is now time to create your very own 30-day challenge. All of us have different goals and priorities. Your 30-day challenge should focus on what is important to you and on what particular area of your life that you want to improve first. It could be about your health, your relationship, your spiritual life, your career, your finances, etc. It all depends on you.

You need to focus. You need to start on one specific area of your life first. It would be difficult if you are trying to accomplish so many things at once. Focus on a single goal. Do not be destructed by other things. You also need to do it for 30 consecutive days. As a general rule, it takes a minimum of 21 straight days for something to become a habit. However, not all individuals are the same. Other people may take longer.

Here are example 30-day challenges that you can apply in some areas of your life:

Health and Beauty

During this pandemic, we have learned that health is the most important thing in life. Thus, your priority should always be how to keep yourself healthy and follow the rules to combat diseases. Your 30-day challenge could be:

Get at least 8 hours of sleep a day
Drink at least 8-10 glasses of water each day
Do exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.
Eat a balanced diet.
Clean face and put moisturizer before going to sleep.

Home and Living

A clean and organized environment is a necessary component of your overall wellness. Now that you finally have the time to stay at home, take this opportunity to declutter and clean your surroundings. Your 30-day challenge can include:

Remove clutter from your home for 15 minutes a day.
Organize your wardrobe one day at a time.
Make a 30-day plan on what outfits to wear to dress for success.

Money

Maybe you want to save for an emergency fund or for your retirement fund.Whatever your money goal, now is the perfect time to start setting financial goals for a better tomorrow. Here are sample challenges for financial improvement:

Study financial literacy for 20 minutes a day.
Write down your expenses everyday.
Follow the money jar budgeting system.

People and Relationships

Your relationship with yourself is important. It is the basis of your relationship with others. Equally important is your relationship with other people. A happy and healthy relationship with oneself and others are vital to our mental and emotional well-being. Here are some things that you can do to improve this aspect of your life.

Start a gratitude journal.
Call a friend or family member that you have not been in touch for so long.
Say “I love you” to people who are dear to you, “thank you”to those who have always been there for you and “I am sorry” to people whom you have offended.

Your future begins today so act now.

Feature Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay Images

Mar

2020

Your Future Begins Today

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Your future begins today.

Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today.
– Tim Fargo

Dreaming of a better tomorrow? Then, start doing things today. Don’t wait until tomorrow to get things done. Remember that every little thing you do today will affect your life in the future. If you are not doing something towards your goal, how do you expect to get there in the first place?

Success is the sum of all the little things that you do consistently daily.

It is so easy to procrastinate. However, each day you waste will only delay your success. So, stop wasting your days.

Start with a vision. You will not be able to get anywhere if you don’t have a clear idea on where you want to go in the first place. Once you are clear with what you want, write them down and create your own bucket list. Your list will serve as your daily guide. It will help you make better decisions in life. It will also help you stay on track towards achieving your goals.

Remember also that there is a season for everything. Don’t expect immediate results. You don’t plant seeds today and expect to harvest tomorrow. Everything takes time. You need patience and perseverance to get to your goals.

Success takes time. Keep Going. – Neil Patel

Join us this month as we guide you in redesigning your life for a better tomorrow starting today.

Edited version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 11.30.2018

Feature Image by Siggy Nowak from Pixabay Images

Feb

2020

Life Rules

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Rules pertain to a set of guiding principles that tells or states the way things should be done. Without rules, there will be no order. Rules protect the status quo.

Social Rules

As social beings, we need to follow the rules of the community and the laws of the country. We, as people, choose the leaders who will make the rules for us. In return, we have the obligation to follow those rules. A nation’s progress is not just dependent on its laws and effective implementation but also adherence to the law by its people.

Personal Life Rules

As individuals, we also follow our own set of life rules. These rules differ from one person to another. It all depends on the person’s beliefs and values in life. The rules that you deemed important may not be as important to someone else. That’s why you see people who are very successful in their career while others put importance in their relationships more. Other people are so serious in taking care of their health while others focus simply on having a good time regardless of the consequences.

Now, look closely into your life. Are you happy with how things are? Are you contented with the following areas of your life?

Health and Beauty
Home and Living
Wealth
People and Relationships
Travel and Recreation
Work and Career
Spiritual

If you are not happy with one particular area of your life, ask yourself, what is your golden rule with regards to that specific area? In order to improve that aspect in your life, you may want to raise your standard and rethink your life rule in that particular area. The important thing is that you need to be very clear on what you want.

A bucket list can help you redesign your life. Once you have it all figured out, start accomplishing them one-by-one by following the 5/25 Rule Challenge introduced by one the richest man in the world, Warren Buffet. Through this challenge, you will be able to clearly identify what life rules you need to change.

Follow us this month as we tackle the different life rules that you can use as guide to live a happier, healthier and wealthier life.

If you are still confused on what you want, you may want to check out first the things that you can do if you don’t know what you want.

Feature Image by Valiphotos from Pixabay Images

Jan

2020

Redefine your Life Through the 5/25 Rule Challenge

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Are you ready for a fresh start in your life? Then, it’s time to take those goals into action. A good strategy to use to achieve your goals and redefine your life is through the 5/25 rule challenge of Warren Buffet.

Warren Buffet is the most successful investor in the 20th century and one of the richest man in the world. His 5/25 rule on productivity gives importance to focus.

According to the story, Mike Flint, the personal airplane pilot of Warren Buffet for over a decade was having a conversation with his boss about his dreams and goals. Buffet told him to write down 25 of his career goals. Out of these 25, he was asked to identify his top 5. He was then instructed to focus all his time and energy in accomplishing those 5 items on the list. The other items that did not make it on the top 5 would fall under the “avoid-at-all-cost” category.

This kind of strategy is highly effective because if you don’t have focus, it is so easy to get distracted in life especially in this day and age. With focus, you will know exactly what you want and what direction you are supposed to go.

Here is the challenge if you are determined to change your life for the better. Try applying the 5/25 Rule in your life by following these steps:

1. Write Down your Goals

If you still don’t have a bucket list, now is the perfect time to start writing them down. Just list down all the things that you want to have and accomplish in life, even if it feels like impossible. There are no restrictions. After all, they are your dreams. Write as many as you can. To make it easier, label your dreams and goals under the following categories:

Health and Beauty
Home and Living
Wealth
People and Relationships
Travel and Recreation
Work and Career
Spiritual

Make sure that you put at least more than 10 entries in each category. To help you with your list, you can check out some of the A Fresh start articles on the different categories and use them as guide.

2. Choose your Priorities

The 5/25 Rule states that you choose your focus. Instead of merely choosing just 5 items in your work and career, it is better to choose at least one from each of the category. The important thing is to have a well-balanced life. Your life is not just about your career, it is also about your health, your relationships and your overall well-being.

The elimination process won’t be easy. However, it is something that you have so that you can focus all your energy, resources and attention on just a few. You can choose to prioritise the urgent ones or you can opt for the easiest one to accomplish first. It is all up to you. Don’t worry about the “Avoid-at-all-cost” list, you can still go back to that list later on once you have accomplished your initial goals.

3. Start Working on Your Goals

The best time to start working on your goals is now. Start doing them one-by-one. There is nothing sweeter than to experience the feeling of accomplishment once you start fulfilling your goals. As you crossed out one item every now and then, you will surprised how your life is slowly starting to change.

Best of luck!

Image Credit: photosforyou from Pixabay Images

Jan

2020

Traveling Helps You Grow

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Traveling helps you grow as a person. When you travel, you learn about new things. You also discover a world that is different from yours. In the process, you change. When you get home, you are no longer the same person as you used to be.

Learn

Reading books will make you grow as a person. You will have access to a vast range of information. It will entertain you and stimulate your creativity. It will also open your eyes to a new whole world that is different from your reality and make you dream and aspire to become a better version of yourself.

“The world is a book, and those that do not travel read only a page.”
– St. Augustine

St. Augustine of Hippo, said to be one of the most intelligent saints who ever lived, believed in the value of traveling. He correlated reading with traveling. Just like in reading books, travelling will also help you grow as a person. You will see different places and things. You will be exposed to various people, cultures, and beliefs. Because your learn from your travels. traveling helps you grow.

Discover

When you just stay at home or in your area, everything that you do are all habits. Everything is automatic and just merely a part of your routine. However, when you travel, you become alert of your surrounding. You begin to plan and everything that you do will involve decision making. You will also be exposed to a different way of doing things.

Change

When you get back home from your travel. Somehow, a part of you has changed. You begin to look at things differently. You are no longer the same person as you used to be.

If you want to start anew, it is recommended that you travel. Go to a place where you have never been before. Look around you. How is the place different from yours? Observe the locals’ way of life. Are there lessons that you can learn from them? Then think about your life. How do you live your life? Are you contented with where you are right now? What aspects in your life would you like to improve? Being in a new place will help you get a new perspective in who you are and where you want to be. Aim to do this on a regular basis. Make traveling to a place you have never been before at least once a year.

Go out there and travel if you want to grow as a person. So, what are your travel goals for this year?

First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 12.20.2018
Image Credit: Lothar Dieterich from Pixabay Images