life lesson

Jan

2022

Success Is A Decision You Make

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Success is a decision you make. You make the decision at some point in your life. It just suddenly clicks for some people. For others, it takes some time to get to that place. First, it starts with a vision. How do you define success? What does success look like to you? If you don’t know what you want; you won’t know how to act to get it.

Success is a process, not an event.”
– Gary Halbert

Plan

Make a plan. Start with the little things. It’s the small things you do everyday that matters the most. These accumulate into a more impactful result if done consistently. You may not be able to afford some of the things you want at the moment. By saving a little each time, you can come up with the amount you want. You can improve your health over time. Just be consistent in exercising a few minutes a day.

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.
– Benjamin Franklin

Do what you can with your current resources and take bigger steps as you accomplish each goal. Don’t forget to celebrate each victory to motivate you to go forward.

Environment

Set up your space. Your environment may be hindering your success. If you really want to change your life; you must decide and commit yourself to finding ways to overcome your circumstances. Create a space for yourself to work on your goals and show up to that place each day.

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
– Alexander Den Heijer

Part of your environment are the people around you. Are these supportive people who share your enthusiasm for your goals?

Commitment

Stay committed. Success starts with the decision to change; to do whatever needs to be done to get you closer to your goal. Decide. Plan. Do. Stay committed to your decision. Challenges will definitely come your way. This isn’t a sign that you are a failure. Successful people think of failures as a sign of progress. If you don’t fail, you won’t learn as much or at all. Keep a positive mindset and focus on the goal.

Your positive action combined with positive thinking results in success.
– Shiv Khera

Remember that your success ultimately depends in how much you believe in your self. You won’t be able to even reach the decision to commit to your success if you don’t believe that you can. Believe that you can and you most definitely will succeed.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2018.07.20.
Feature Image: Original Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash.

Dec

2021

Lessons from The Slight Edge: Your First Step Toward Success

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Are you in the midst of a crisis right now? If you are having problems, you know deep inside that you cannot stay in that state forever. Life goes on and it will not stop and wait until you are ready. Many people were able to rise above the storm. You believe deep inside that you too have what it takes to do the same. You are just not sure on where to begin. The lessons from The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson might just be your first step toward success and happiness.

There are things that you need to do in order to overcome the problem you are facing right now. First, you have to embrace your pain and take control of your emotions. Only by doing this will you be able to begin to take responsibility for your life. It would help if you have set some goals to define where you want to be in the future. Your goals need to be S.M.A.R.T in order to succeed. Remember that success always starts with a vision.

Once you have a clear idea on where you want to be and what you hope to achieve, you are now ready to take your first step. However, the road towards the attainment of your goals is not as easy as it sounds. Goals and dreams can be overwhelming. Most of the time, people get discouraged just by merely thinking about them. If you already have a clear vision, yet are still confused on how to go about it, then the book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson is for you. The book has powerful lessons that you can use as your first step towards success.

The Slight Edge Philosophy talks about how simple everyday choices can lead to massive success and happiness. It is not about the big decisions but rather the small ones that create powerful results in all areas in life. This is the reason why diets don’t work. This is also the reason why many famous movie stars and athletes and lottery winners go broke after some time despite receiving millions of dollars.

Lessons From The Slight Edge

Here are some excerpts from the The Slight Edge that contain powerful lessons that you can use on you journey towards success:

1. You have complete control over the direction that the rest of your life takes.

You are a product of your decisions. Where you are and who you are right now is a result of all the decisions that you have made in the past. Your success is all because of you. In the same way, you are also miserable not because of anyone else but because of you. It is not the fault of your parents, partner, boss, government nor anyone else for that matter. Thus, you need to take control of your life. Your future happiness and success all depends on you alone.

2. Your philosophy creates your attitudes, which create your actions, which create your results, which create your life.

Your philosophy is how you look at life. The decisions that you make everyday are largely influenced by the way you look at things. And soon, this will manifest itself in your life. If you think the world is beautiful, then your life will also be beautiful. If you look at life negatively, then your life will be miserable. In short, what you focus on expands. So, what do you focus on?

3. Simple daily disciplines – little productive actions, repeated consistently over time – add up to the difference between failure and success.

Our success or failure is the result of simple everyday choices that seem harmless, but taken together over time will lead to failure or success in the future. For example, you go to a restaurant and you order soda instead of water. It is harmless, right? But if you do this each time you go out and you have been doing it for decades, soon you will have health problems. You don’t get sick just by drinking a can of soda, it is the accumulation of all those cans of sodas that you have been drinking for decades that made you sick. This is true not just with health but also in relationships, career, money and all other aspects in life.

4. People don’t consistently do those simple things for three reasons:

a) While they are easy to do, they are also easy not to do;

b) You don’t see any results at first;

c) They seem insignificant, like they don’t matter. But they do.

All of us are capable of doing little things to become successful but the problem is we don’t do it. It is not because it is hard but because it is easy not to do. All our daily, hourly and even minute choices, no matter how small, will all lead to our success or failure in that particular aspect in life.

So if you want to do good in one aspect of your life, think about the little things that you can do each day towards the attainment of that goal. For example, if you want your marriage to last; ask yourself, what small thing can you do for your spouse each day? It can be a kiss, a hug, a text message, help in the household chores, etc. The point is it needs to be consistent every day.

5. No genuine success in life is instant. Life is not a clickable link.

Success takes time. In this day and age, people are used to getting what they want in an instant that patience is no longer a virtue that everyone has. That is the reason why many people fall prey to ‘get-rich-quick scams’. True success involves consistent daily actions repeated over time. First you plant, then cultivate and then you harvest. That is the natural progression of things.

6. Success does not lead to happiness, it’s the other way around: more happiness creates more success.

Have you heard people saying “I’ll be happy once I’m rich” or “I’ll be happy once I’m married to that person”? What these people failed to understand is that happiness comes first. If you cannot be happy with the blessings that you have right now, you can’t be happy once you have more in the future. Why do you think many famous, powerful and rich individuals died of overdose from drugs and alcohol or committed suicide despite the fact of having it all? Happiness is not something that you chase. It is a state of mind and sense of well-being. It is the feeling of being grateful for the moment.

7. Greater success also creates a greater responsibility to share that success to others.

Your success is not just for you alone. It is for you to share your blessings with others. The more you share, the more blessings will come your way. Think about it, if you can help one person, you are sending a positive signal to the world. The person that you helped will be inspired to help another one too. This is what you call the ripple effect.

8. Greatness is not something predetermined, predestined or carved into your fate by forces beyond your control. Greatness is always in the moment of decision.

You have what it takes to succeed. All the great people out there are not great because they are destined to be great. They are great because they choose to be great. You are no exception. Make the decision to be great.

Are you ready for your metamorphosis? Read the book if you want to learn more practical lessons from the Slight Edge Philosophy, your first step towards success and happiness.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living 10.05.2019

Jun

2021

The Secret to The Secret

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Have you heard of The Secret? The bestselling book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne is actually about the Law of Attraction. It works on the premise that one’s thoughts can change one’s life. This technique was supposedly the secret to success of successful people throughout history such as Plato, Beethoven, Leonardo Da Vinci and Albert Einstein. Even famous celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Jim Carrey, Will Smith, Lady Gaga and Arnold Schwarzenegger all talk about The Secret. So, what exactly is The Secret? Is it as simple as changing your thoughts or is there a secret behind it? What exactly is the secret to The Secret?

The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is one of the Universal Laws of the Universe. It is a philosophy that states that positive thoughts bring about positive results. In the same way that negative thoughts attract negative results. It is based on the premise that thoughts are energy. And that likes attract likes. Why is it important? It is important because the law of attraction tells us to be careful of what we focus on.

What you think you become. What you feel you attract. And what you imagine you create.
– Buddha

According to The Secret, The Law of Attraction is “the greatest and most infallible law upon which the entire system of creation depends.” It is similar to the law of gravity in the sense that it will always be there. Whether you like it or not; it will have a major impact in your life.

Key Lessons From The Secret

Here are key lessons from the book that we need to be consciously aware of:

Everything starts with our thoughts.
Thus, we should always be aware of our thoughts.
Always think positive.
Pay attention to your feelings.
Don’t dwell on the negative.
Instead of focusing on the challenges in your life right now, it is better to visualize your ideal future instead.

The Secret to The Secret

So, if we think positive thoughts, does it mean that good things will start happening in our lives? Well, yes and no. Critics of The Secret say that the book gave an impression that it is all about wishful thinking. It failed to give an accurate distinction between simply wishing as against doing something about it. The truth is there is another underlying secret to The Secret.

Master Sri Akarshana, a famous yogi in the World of the Law of Attraction, gave a practical and easy to understand explanation on how to apply the Law of Attraction in our lives. He likened the application of the law to shopping online. According to him, there are three steps that you need to take in order to manifest your heart’s desire successfully.

1. Be Specific

When you are shopping online, you are looking for a specific item. Thus, what you do is to go to the specific website and search for the item. More often than not, we already have the specifics like the brand, size, design, shape and color in mind. It means it is already in our mind. We have already visualize it. On times that we do not know the specifics, what we normally do is to research and read reviews until we find the right product that we are looking for. You don’t expect a particular product to be delivered on your doorstep unless you have chosen that specific product.

The same is true with the Law of Attraction. You need to be specific. You want a car? Then, what car? What model? What color? You need to be very clear in what you want. It all starts in your thoughts. But it should also come with emotions. You need to really, really want it and believe that you can have it.

2. Act on It

Going back to your online shopping, the product that you want to buy will not magically be delivered unless of course, it is a gift from somebody. However, almost 99% of the time, chances are you actually ordered it yourself. Buying online entails you to go to the website, search the product, click the order button, pay and give your delivery address and contact details. In short, there was action needed on your part.

The Law of Attraction is the same. It is not going to be given to you no matter how much you visualize it unless you start acting on it. Thoughts and emotions are just the first step. To be able to successfully manifest, it should come with action.

3. Let Go

Equally important as the first two steps is the last step which is letting go.

Going back to your online shopping, once you place your order, do you go on calling the company every minute of the day just to follow-up your order? Sometimes you do it when there is delay but you do not do it every minute of your day. What you do after placing your order is to move on with your day-to-day activities.

Likewise, the same principle applies in the Law of Attraction. You don’t stress yourself every minute waiting for your dreams to happen. What you should do is to move on with your life. You can act on it again every now and then to follow-up but getting stressed and obsessive about it is not going to help. You need to let it go. What you are asking for will come at the right time and on the right form.

May all your dreams come true!

Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels

May

2021

Different Ways to Discover Your Self

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Each one of you are finding different ways to discover your self every day even if you don’t know it. Most of us think we already know ourselves inside out. We think we are what we do and we act that way. We identify with our jobs, our family’s expectations, our friends’ descriptions of us. Deep inside, we know these aspects of our selves are just a part of us. A persona we show to the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes

There is a feeling lurking within us that we are something more than what others see; what we let others see. There are things stirring in our shadow self that we want to get out into the world. A part of ourselves that we still can’t describe; potential that we both fear and admire. It may help us unleash our hidden genius or ruin our life’s work. Unless we can identify it; we won’t be able to harness this potential. If we can’t know this part of our self; we will always feel that we are not enough. Instead of being frustrated; why not actively go on a journey to discover your self?

The Process of Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is a continuous process, not a specific or final answer. The process of self-discovery is not found when you reach a destination. You come to discover more of your self through your life journey. Discovering your self is not just a one-time process. It involves discovering something new about ourselves as well as rediscovering old, forgotten parts of ourselves. There may even be instances when you uncover a part of yourself that you have kept hidden because you feel you are ready for it. Along the way, we may change in many ways. It is through this journey that we find purpose and meaning in our lives.

Be Aware of Your Current Self

Awareness is the first step to getting actively involved in your self-discovery. Get a clearer and deeper understanding of your own personal characteristics, your emotions, needs, values, strengths and weaknesses. Spend time to reflect on the parts of your personality that you already know.

Find out what gives you joy; what are your hopes and dreams; the things that you are passionate about; what things are holding you back; what negative experiences have you carried with you since childhood? These questions will leave you feeling vulnerable but they are an important step to getting to know yourself better. You can do this through journaling, talking to family and friends, or to a professional. The important thing to remember is to be honest with your self.

Experiment with A Different Self

Once you have a map of your current self; you pretty much have an idea of what your personality is. You are also able to identify some of the things you do, or want to do, that would clash with your current personality. Examining your self does not stop at knowing where things are. You also need to test how far things can go.

Your self, or your personality, is a fluid entity. Contrary to popular belief, you are not stuck with your personality. Getting stuck and getting out of it and flowing into a new one is all up to you. So make an experiment of the process. Do something that you don’t usually do and see how far you can go with it. For example, you may be a people pleaser, a “Yes man”. So try experimenting what would happen if you just said “No” to other people. Most of the time, you will find that your worries and fears don’t come true. It is only your belief that’s holding you back from accepting this part of your self, and from changing your situation.

Trust in Your Own Path to Self-Discovery

There is no one way to the journey of self-discovery. Each person has their own path and their own time for the journey. The important thing is to trust your own path. Don’t compare your self to others. Also, be kind to others and help as much as you can. Remember that everyone is on their own journey and some will have a harder time than others. Having a positive mindset and an attitude of gratitude helps a lot.

Discovering, rediscovering and uncovering more of yourself also helps to develop your trust in your self. Most people are going about their daily lives fulfilling their duties according to what others expect of them. Being actively involved in the process to discover your self means that you need to learn to trust your self rather than the world around you. It means being able to focus on what you truly want and being grateful for what you have even if the world tells you that you’re doing things wrong.

Discovering your self also means that you learn to accept difficult things about you as well as others around you. For example, you learn to trust your feelings instead of just your thoughts. You learn to love yourself more. You learn to be okay even if some things don’t go the way you wanted them to. More importantly, you learn to be comfortable with all parts of who you are; and if people don’t like it, you don’t feel bad when they walk away.

The journey to self-discovery may involve losing friends and even loved ones along the way. Know that it is not your fault. It is just that their part in your journey is over and they need to go on their own paths. There are many things that you will need to accept and lose during your journey. As you learn and develop your self; you will find that it will all be worth it.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash.

Mar

2021

How to Reset Your Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

At some point in our lives, we always ask the question: “How can I reset my life?” This feeling of wanting to reset one’s life usually happens when one experiences, or is undergoing, a major life event. Some people may also want to reset their life in order to make a change to their regular routine. Whether you find your life too boring and want it to be more fun; or your current life feels unstable and you want to make changes to find more stability; a life reset is an important process. There are different ways to go about it. Generally, these are the steps on how to reset your life.

1. Make an honest assessment

Before you can move on to the next phase; an honest assessment of your current state of life is very important. This is the time to examine your life, and your life choices, and take a closer look at what the results have been. Where the results bad or unsatisfying? Is your current life comfortable but not fun anymore? Do you want to take on new challenges? Be honest with yourself and don’t think about who or what to blame. Accepting the situation as well as your own faults is the only way you can correct them.

The goal of this assessment is not just to identify the negatives in your self and in your life. It will help you see how and where you can change things. With an honest assessment about your current life situation; you can see more clearly what things you are unsatisfied about. You can determine what decisions you made or did not make, that resulted in the situation you are in right now. This will make it easier to pinpoint where you can start to change things.

2. Envision the change that you want

We used to imagine all kinds of fun and adventures when we were children. Imagining the life you want is an important step in how to reset your life. Just as you were honest in assessing your current life situation; be honest to what you truly want in life. Take the time to think about this and to envision the life that you want. Spend some time in meditation on how you want your new life to be. An important factor you should consider in this step are your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself: “What thoughts and feelings would the new me have when I am living the life I want?”

Create a vision board or write down your vision for a new life or record yourself as you talk about it. Review your vision board, what you wrote or what you recorded. Try to identify the major keywords you used. List down your goals based on these keywords. Don’t be too strict about it. Focus on your major goals first. Finally, try to summarize your major life goals into a single statement. This will be your vision statement that will regularly remind you of your major life goals.

3. Make your goals SMART

Now that you have your major goals, it’s time to break them down into actionable and measurable steps. Follow the SMART method when doing this. It is important that you break down your major goals into smaller goals to make it easier for you to implement them. Think of your major goals as the destination and smaller goals are what will make up your daily routine. Your daily goals will serve as a checklist that will help you measure your progress towards your major goals.

Having a checklist of smaller goals makes it easier for you to focus on them daily. This makes the process of developing new habits smoother. This also helps prevent decision-fatigue. Decision fatigue happens when you are presented by too many choices. You end up wasting time thinking about what the best choice is. By having a daily routine to follow, you waste less time having to make a choice and gain more time to be productive.

4. Setup your self for success

To make your daily routine even easier to implement, setup your environment so you can focus on accomplishing what you need to do. An organized space helps in maintaining an organized mind. One of the things you can do is to start decluttering your space. Get rid of the things that you are not using anymore. You can also give them away or sell them. Redecorate your space if you have to. Clear away negative energy to freshen your environment. Prepare the things that you will need for your daily goals. For example, prepare your exercise clothes the night before. It will remind you to exercise as soon as you see them when you wake up in the morning. You might consider decluttering your closet as well.

To maximize your productivity, setup your work space so you have all the stuff you need to use without having to waste time looking for them. Be sure to include the things that you love in your spaces but keep them focused on what the purpose of the area or room is. So keep your computer in your workspace and your TV in the living room. Try not to work in your bedroom so you can keep your room a space for relaxing.

5. Stay in a positive mindset

Making any change in life, small or big, always entail challenges. It can be challenging for you personally to start new habits and replace old ones. The process can also be challenging if people around you, or your environment, is not supportive of the changes you want to make. Making change is always a process of trial and error. Don’t be afraid to fail and learn from them instead. By looking at things from a learning perspective, you can keep yourself in a positive mindset.

It is also helpful to keep a gratitude journal so that you can keep track of the positive things that you are experiencing in your daily life. If writing is not your style, just list down at least 3 things that you are grateful for each day. Or just take the time to sit down and say a prayer or meditate on the blessings you experienced for the day. This is one good habit that will definitely be helpful in how to reset your life.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.

Mar

2021

Money Lessons You Wish You Learned in School

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Did you know that the number one cause of stress is money? According to several studies, more people worry about money compared to health, family, work or relationships. This is true regardless of age, citizenship, gender, career, educational attainment and even amount of income. There is only one explanation to all this, most people do not have a deeper understanding on how to handle money. After all, not all parents teach their children how to handle money. In addition, money management is not part of the school curriculum. If only it was taught in school. We would not have to learn the hard way. For this reason, there are some money lessons you wish you learned in school.

The Rat Race

Have you heard of the rat race? In finance, a rat race is the endless pursuit of money. It is called a rat race because it is likened to a mouse who keeps on running around in circles chasing the cheese. People in the rat race will have financial difficulties if they stop working. Unfortunately, most people are in the rat race. Worldwide statistics show that out of 100 persons who will retire, only 3 persons will be comfortable and only one will retire wealthy. Life would have been financially better if only we learned about financial literacy long before we started earning. How about you, what will your retirement look like?

Money Lessons You Wish You Learned in School

1.Money is Just a Tool

Mindset is the single most important thing that makes a person rich or poor. Thus, personal finance lessons should always start with instilling the proper mindset. Our mindset is a product of our environment. It is our belief based on what our parents and teachers taught us. Do you have a millionaire mindset or a poverty mindset?

In order to be wealthy, you got to think like the rich. One of the ways in which rich people think differently is the way they view money. For the rich, money is just a tool.

Have you heard of the saying that “Money is the root of all evil”? Most people believe that money is something bad and that rich people are greedy. This belief came from misconceptions on some bible passages. It is not money per se which is bad; rather, it is the love for money. It is people’s attachment to the trappings of wealth that makes it bad. Money should be viewed as just a tool, not as something negative. If you have money, you will be able to buy things that you need and want. Money can also be used to help other people.

2. Money Buys Choices

Money does not buy happiness, what it does buy are choices. With money, you will have unlimited options. You can choose the job that you want, where you are going to live, what car you want to drive, where do you want to go and how you are going to spend your days without constraints and worries. In short, money gives you freedom to choose.

3. There are Other Streams of Income Aside from a 9-to-5 Job

Since young, we have been programmed to do the following:

Study Hard.
Get Good Grades
Earn a Degree from a Prestigious University
Get hired into one of the Top 500 Companies
Climb the Corporate Ladder
Save Money
Buy your Dream House and Car
Retire and Receive Retirement Money from Company

There is nothing wrong with this formula except that it is NOT the only roadmap to success. There are many other streams of income aside from being an employee. You can earn a living by starting your own business. You can earn from different kinds of investments like stocks or stock options. Nowadays, you can even earn money by becoming a professional blogger, YouTuber or online gamer. There are endless possibilities available out there.

4. You can Make Money Work for you

Schools teach students how to work for money. In school, students learn different knowledge and various skills. Most of them are catered towards the specific field of your choice. Engineering students learn technical and problem-solving skills. Medical students study about the human anatomy and physiology and illnesses. Law students specialize about the laws and legal issues. After school, students are well- equipped with all these technical skills, but how many are really ready for the real world? As a result, many people ended up working for money. Unfortunately, a diploma from a prestigious university is never a guarantee of wealth. But rather, it is all about understanding how you can make money work for you opposed to learning how to work for money.

Out of all the graduates, how many actually learned about money management? How about debit and credit? How about investing? These are crucial finance lessons that one needs to know to be successful in the real world.

Without any formal personal finance instruction in our high school or college curricula, many college seniors who graduate in the red continue to make common financial mistakes that only exacerbate their debt burdens.
– Alexa Von Tobel

5. Saving Money Alone is Never Enough

We were taught the importance of saving money even at a young age. However, did you know that saving money is never enough because of an economic phenomenon called inflation? Inflation is more than just a number. It affects all of us. That is why it is important that you understand what inflation is and how it affects your finances.

Inflation happens when there is a persistent increase of the prices of goods and services which will ultimately lead to the decline of the purchasing power of your money. This means that every year the value of your money is decreasing. That is why savings alone is not enough. You need to learn to invest your money too. As a rule of thumb, the interest rate of your investments should be greater than the inflation rate.

Click here to read more money lessons you wished you learned in school.

Edited Version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 09.17.2019

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Jan

2021

How to Move On In Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Almost all of us are wondering how to move on in life after the challenges we’ve been thru. Most of us end up lost and clueless after difficult times. We are usually uncertain of what our next steps should be. Life goes on but we feel stuck instead.

While we may not be in our best shape after going though life’s trials; we still need to do what we can to move on and get closer to the life we want. Here are some tips to help you get a move on and away from a negative life experience.

Accept and Be Thankful

Accepting that a situation is what it is should be your first step to moving on. That means accepting the fact that you and the other people involved made mistakes; that the situation maybe irreparable; and that it will take some time to mend each other’s hurts and clear up the situation.

Stop day dreaming about what could have been or the what if’s. Accept the fact that this chapter in your life is now a permanent part of your history. But remember that this chapter does not define your whole life. You can close this chapter whenever you want to.

Acceptance also means that you acknowledge your own flaws and mistakes but you don’t dwell on blaming yourself or the other parties. Remember that you are more than that one broken piece of you. Instead, you should use the situation to learn life lessons. What did you like and did not like about the persons/situation? What can you do next time to avoid the same issues? Take stock of what this person or situation has taught you and be grateful for it.

Being accepting also means that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t pretend like you’re okay. Cry if you have to; get a friend to whom you can rant to. Write a letter that describes all the gory details while you’re crying instead of bottling up your emotions. Just don’t send it to anyone though.

The point is to feel what you need to feel so that in the future, you can be more aware when a situation has taken a wrong turn; and that is, when you start feeling the same emotions again. Take the time to purge yourself of your negative emotions or to rechannel it. But don’t dwell too long in that negative space. Learn to forgive yourself and promise to do better.

Give yourself a day or two; then take a deep breath and take the next step on how to move on in life. This step is based on your own personal circumstances so it will be different for each one but the next tip should help.

Re-Invest in Your Self

Most of us forget to take care of our selves in our pursuit of success and happiness in the different areas of our life. One of the best things you can do for your self after a challenging life experience is to re-invest in yourself.

Take stock of your own self value. We often forget our own value as we try to please other people in our lives; be it our romantic partner, our work colleagues or boss, or even the expectations of our family members.

You have invested so much of your time and energy into other things that you might have forgotten to give your self some love. Now is the time to indulge in self-care practices to show yourself some love. This is also one way to start your own healing process.

Remember what you were passionate about as a child. As a child, what were your dreams then? What are you good at doing or making? What qualities do you like in other people?

Learning the wonderful things about yourself helps you to identify the qualities that you also value in others. This is what you can share with other people and what other people appreciate about you. We often forget these wonderful aspects of our personalities as we adjust our attitudes and behavior to blend in with our community and environment.

Remembering what makes you who you are and what you can offer to the world will not only boost your sense of self-worth and confidence; it will also help you to figure out how you can utilize your unique talents and abilities to transform your self into the successful person you’ve always wanted to be.

Focus on Change

The time after a storm is when you can see a clearer picture of what you can do and what you can change to transform things for the better. The same is true for personal challenges. When the storm of your life has passed, take stock of what you can do at the moment to change things and improve your situation. You can begin again.

Focus on what you can control. You can’t control what other people think, feel or do. So focus on what you can do on your own to start making change. Now that you have decided to close this chapter; it is the perfect time to start planning out the rest of your life.

Go back to your vision board; consult your bucket list. Review your goals and see which ones you still want to pursue and which ones to discard.

Define what success means for you. Plan out some fun times in your life. Envision the kind of people you want to hang out with; the relationships you want to have. Write down your ideal life story. Break down your goals into measurable chunks. Finally, outline the small steps that you can start working on to start making the change you want.

Of course, planning out the rest of your life will take more than a day. Taking the time to clarify what is important to you will be worth it in the long run. You are building the foundation for the rest of your future so don’t rush through the process. How you want to live your life is your personal responsibility so step up to the challenge.

Most importantly, be consistent in showing up for yourself and doing your best. Believe in yourself and trust that the Universe has your back.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash.

Jan

2021

How to Not Get Stuck in the Past

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Last November of 2018, Ariana Grande’s single, “Thank U, Next” broke records when the single became the most streamed song with almost 50 million streams in the first week of its release. The song garnered much attention because the singer publicly revealed her past. In the song, Ariana said that each time a relationship ends, she felt pain but at the same time she is grateful because of the lessons that she learned from each one. She knows that all those past experiences will help her somehow with her future relationships. She is now a better person and a stronger one at that because of what she had to go through. More than simply controversial and entertaining, the song has a valuable lesson. That is, how to not get stuck in the past.

Bad things do happen in life. Things don’t always come our way whether it is our career, business, health, family, love or relationships. It can be very painful especially if we did our very best to make it work. Some people get stuck and allow the hurt from past experiences to continue to hurt them. However, not moving on can only succeed in jeopardizing future happiness. After whether we like it or not, life goes on.

Here are some tips on how to not get stuck in the past:

1.Learn from the Past

Have you ever wondered why we have to take up History in school? That is because history gives valuable lessons. Learning from past mistakes will allow us to grow and not repeat the same mistake over again. Even the COVID-19 pandemic has lessons that we can apply to make our lives better. Learn the lesson, no matter how painful so that you can start to move on.

2.Be Grateful

Yes, it is possible to be grateful even in tough times. Be grateful for the experience. It may sound cliche but challenges are blessings in disguise. Whatever it is that you had to go through was really meant for you to grow and become a better person. Moreover, by being grateful you are shifting your focus from the negative to the positive. A positive attitude can help ease the burden that you are carrying.

Thank you, next.
– Ariana Grande

3. Forgive Those Who Wronged You

When you forgive someone, it does not mean that you are condoning the wrong things. It does not mean forgetting and reconciling with the other person.What it simply means is that you are now releasing and freeing yourself from the anger, resentment, guilt and other negative emotions. This will do wonders to your emotional state and general well-being. The act of forgiveness does not only pertain to other people but also yourself. You need to learn to forgive and love yoursel f.

4. Make Clear Goals

You will forever be stuck in the past unless you are very clear on what you want and where you want to go. Start by redesigning your life through a bucket list.

5. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Did you know that success happens outside of your comfort zone? Your comfort zone is your safe place. Since you are comfortable in that place, there is really no room for growth because there is no need to. Stepping outside of your comfort zone means doing new things that you are not comfortable with. You will need to learn new skills and adapt to a changing environment but there will be transition and growth in the process. It is similar to a caterpillar undergoing metamorphosis. Don’t remain a caterpillar all your life. Find your genius zone and be a beautiful butterfly.

6. Remove Toxic People From Your Life

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with? Your thoughts, beliefs and actions are highly influenced by the people around you. Thus, it is important to choose the people you spend most of your time with. Remove negative people from your life. Spend time with positive and supportive individuals instead.

7. Believe in Yourself

Fear is crippling. It can hold you back in life. That is why it is important to learn how to overcome fear. Conquer your fears by trusting yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust that you can do great things.

In short, allow yourself to feel the pain then move on. Don’t dwell on it. Get yourself ready for the next adventure.

Updated version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 11.17.2018

Photo by Rodolfo Clix from Pexels

Dec

2020

The Year in Recap: Life Lessons from 2020

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It is almost the end of the year. Many people are eager to have 2020 done and over with. That’s not surprising considering the fact that 2020 has been an exhausting and overwhelming year for most of us. But before we chase the remaining few days of the year, why not look back and take a look at the year in recap and learn some of the valuable life lessons from 2020. The following top articles of the year is a reflection of what transpired during the year and the general sentiment of the readers.

1.Cherish Your Loved Ones While You Still Can

As of this writing, more than 1.76 million people around the world had already lost their lives because of COVID-19. This means that many people lost their loved ones because of this pandemic. Most of the time, it happened so quickly that they were not able to properly say their goodbyes. The grieving process becomes worse if there is regret and guilt involved. To avoid this from happening, it is better to cherish your loved ones while you still can. Don’t wait until it is too late to do so.

2.Korean Dramas About Overcoming Challenges

If there is one thing that we got from 2020, it is the gift of time. Because of the lockdowns, many people found themselves trapped at home with nothing to do. To help fight boredom, many people resorted to watching Korean Dramas. Because many had to go through challenges this year, they look for something inspirational to watch like Korean Dramas about overcoming challenges.

3.Redesign Your Life Through a Bucket List

The world is now totally different. What used to work before this pandemic may no longer work in the new normal. Thus, now is the perfect time to redesign your life through a bucket list. What is it that you want to accomplish in life going forward? What needs to change? It is time to create new dreams and goals.

4.It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

Let’s admit it. No matter how big or small the effect of the pandemic is in our lives; at some point this year, we can honestly say that we were not okay. But, it’s okay. It is all a part of life. Sometimes, it’s okay to not be okay. The only way we can only move forward is if we learn to embrace our negative emotions and our pain. That is how we grow as a person.

5.How To Survive This Economic Crisis

Unfortunately for us, the COVID-19 pandemic is more than just a health concern. It has also turned into a full-blown economic crisis with millions of people losing their means of livelihood. So many people found themselves at a loss just trying to figure out how to survive this economic crisis.

6.Wealth Rules from the Richest Man in Babylon

Because of the economic crisis, people now realized that working hard alone is no longer enough. There is also a need for financial literacy. Knowing and understanding how money works can help people prepare and survive a financial crisis. What better way to learn about money than learning from the wealth rules from the richest man in Babylon.

7.Crossroads: Making Life Changing Decisions

In a nutshell, 2020 is all about change. Since the world is changing, people found themselves in crossroads, making life changing decisions. It sounds easy but change is a difficult thing to do.It is scary most especially if we don’t know what lies ahead. Should I move away from the city? Should I change jobs? Should I change my lifestyle? All of these questions involve choices. Many people were forced to make difficult decisions in their lives this year because of this crisis.

8.The Power of A Smile

When everything around us is negative, it is difficult to stay positive. However, did you know that a simple smile can do wonders for our health and overall well-being? That is the power of a smile. A smile can make us feel better, albeit temporarily. It reduces stress. It boosts our happiness level, even if the smile is fake. So the next time you feel gloomy and sad, force yourself to smile.

9.Stock Options: A Way To Earn Amidst A Crisis

Since many people experienced a reduction or even a loss of income, people are now searching for an alternative source of income. Although there are many investment vehicles available out there, only a few can give positive and substantial returns even in times of crisis. Stock Options trading is one of them. Stock Options is a way to earn amidst a crisis. With stock options trading, it is possible to earn regardless of market direction.

10.Six Dimensions of Wellness

Because of the lockdowns, people have realized that the absence of disease alone does not mean that one is healthy. To be truly healthy, one needs to be healthy not just physically but emotionally, intellectually, socially, spiritually and environmentally as well. There are six dimensions of wellness. All of these dimensions are equally important in the overall well-being of a person.

That is the year in recap and life lessons from 2020. Hope we all learn from the experiences. Let us all look forward and visualize better days ahead of us.

Photo by Markus Winkler from Pexels

Nov

2020

5 Tips to Play Among Us in Game and in Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

We give you 5 tips to play Among Us in game and in life.

Unless you live under a rock, you have probably heard about the recently popular game “Among Us”. This multiplayer game drops players into an alien spaceship. Each is assigned a role as a crew mate or an impostor. The crew members work to complete certain tasks to get the ship ready for take off. The impostor works to sabotage the ship, deceive and frame other crew members and try to kill off the crew.

Crew members need to figure out the clues to discover who the impostors are. Impostors do their best to blend in and sabotage the space ship.

From the setup of this game, it’s obvious that it can bring out many of our negative tendencies such as being deceptive and manipulative. That said, there are some tips that you can use to increase your chances of winning the game. These tips are also applicable in real life.

1. Be moderate in your actions.

Doing too much or too little won’t save you from being judged as suspicious in this game. You can come off as trying too hard to look like a crew member if you do too much. Doing nothing on the other hand, is a surefire way to be called out as an impostor.

In real life, you may be criticized for trying too hard to impress when you do too much. Or be seen as lazy if you seem to be doing too little. So the best course of action is to be moderate in your actions.

Find a work-life balance that allows you to work productively without sacrificing your most important relationships and your health. This helps to ensure that you blend better with the rest of your crew mates in the game; whether you are an impostor, or not.

2. Work well with others.

In game or in life, working well with others is more beneficial to you. Obviously, it invites less negative criticism and it also gains you friendship and support from your fellow workers.

Working well with others also helps you to get to know your group mates better. This will assist you in weeding out who you can ask for help when certain work issues come up. It also gives you a better feel of who to keep close to you and who to stay away from.

Remember that the people who you surround yourself with more frequently, also reflects the kind of person that you are.

3. Everyone has an opinion.

At some point in the game, you will find out that everyone turns out be a scumbag. Many players can’t believe that their real-life friends voted them out of the game. It is important to remember that this is just a game so that you don’t take things too personally.

In real life, it is more important to remember that everyone has an opinion. Remember that you should respect that fact. People will judge you no matter what you do (or don’t do). They have a right to express these opinions even if they don’t understand your circumstances.

Your friends may act this way too but they may have a good reason to do so. There are many dramas were friendships are broken because both parties were trying to do things on their own. Both sides wanted to protect the other but did not communicate their intentions to each other.

There are many instances where friendships were ruined because of external noise. One party decided to listen to other people’s opinions instead of talking directly to the other person. The lesson here is that you should respect everyone’s right to voice an opinion; but you should also choose carefully which ones to listen to.

4. Keep things simple.

Whether you’re explaining yourself to a colleague, a friend, or a crew mate in the game; try to make your explanation simple. The more precise and clearer your message, the better it will be received and understood.

Sometimes, we want to explain all the details but we may not have the time, or the other person isn’t willing or ready to listen to too much information. The best strategy then is to be honest about your thoughts and feelings. This way, you convey your message clearly and can keep your listener’s interest. You can always answer any follow-up questions to clarify the details.

You may be interrogated after your simple explanation. As long as you give clear and honest answers; your team mates will feel your sincerity and not waver in their trust towards you. Of course, you will end up abusing this rule if you are an impostor in the game. But this is a helpful attitude to have when dealing with issues with other people in real life.

5. Common sense and logic are your friends.

Uncertainty is always a source of fear and panic. In the game, 9 times out of 10, paranoia wins. Team mates end up voting out innocent crew mates instead of the actual impostors for fear of being voted out themselves. They end up voting out anyone who has any minor possibility of being an impostor just to keep themselves safe.

Real life situations are not much different. In the middle of a shouting match; common sense gets thrown aside and the focus becomes finding someone to blame instead. Sometimes, small details in someone’s explanation is not taken into consideration because everyone is dwelling on the negative result. The opposite also happens. Everyone is obsessing over a small, but controversial detail and forgetting to consider the big picture.

Crime is common. Logic is rare. Therefore it is upon the logic rather than upon the crime that you should dwell.
— Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of The Copper Beeches

It is important to keep your wits and common sense about you to help you piece together the facts. You don’t have to be Sherlock; but you need to be able to keep a cool head and not be swept up in a heated discussion. Otherwise, you will end up ignoring the important facts and details.

The game Among Us definitely highlights some of the dark aspects of human nature. It also gives us a glimpse of the common issues that we face in our real-life engagements with other people. In the process, it also provides us with clues on how to overcome them. It is also a good opportunity to get to know yourself better; particularly your dark side.

You can use these tips to be more successful in playing the game Among Us and to improve your personal engagements in real life. If you have played the game yourself; what tips do you have?

Featured Image: Screenshot of Among Us Game