People have the tendency to always make themselves feel better, or at least pretend to be better when in front of others. That’s human nature. However, what if you are emotionally broken? Is it still okay to fake it when you are breaking inside? Well, life is full of challenges. All our emotional experiences, our pains and failures, are all necessary components for our growth and success. Thus, it is important that we go through them and not avoid them. No matter how painful it is, feeling the emotional experiences is the only way to overcome challenges in life. So yes, it’s okay to not be okay.
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Have you seen the Korean drama It’s okay to Not Be Okay? Aside from the stellar performances of its cast, the drama is packed with significant lessons on life and mental health. It’s all about overcoming psychological wounds in order to grow and be truly happy in life.
We all had to go through painful experiences at one point in our lives. In truth, all of us are broken in our own way. What’s important is how we get through the lowest point in life. And the only way to do this is to first feel the pain. Pain is necessary. It is unavoidable. So give yourself time to feel the pain. It can be a day, a week, a month or even a year. No need to pretend that you are okay when you are not.
And then after some time, it is time to let go. That’s the only way to move forward.
It’s healthy to admit you’re not okay. It’s okay not to be okay, it’s brave. But don’t let it win. Be sad. Have your moment, your day or week. Then do something about it and be happy for yourself.
A well-balanced life is important to keep us healthy and motivated to reach our goals. However, most of us have become too focused on work-related matters that life becomes just a daily grind. Why not make it a goal to take back your life and have fun again?
As adults, we have come to view stress and struggle as a normal part of life. Most of us have forgotten how it is to have fun like children do. It is important to have fun even at work. There’s a very big chance that we will just quit at whatever we’re doing if we’re not having fun. Many people have resigned from high-paying jobs just because it wasn’t fun for them anymore.
Launch Challenge
Challenge yourself daily. Ask yourself: how can I make my day more fun?
In taking up this challenge, a very important aspect to keep in mind is to maintain a childlike attitude at all times. Not childish, but childlike. Here are some tips on how to maintain a childlike outlook or attitude as you try to take back your life and have fun again.
Slow Down
Having more fun shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to beat a deadline. Allow yourself adequate time to enjoy living life and appreciating what it has to offer. All that rushing sucks the energy and fun out of the day.
Children know how to take their sweet time. Learn to prolong your time for enjoying things instead of prolonging your agony by worrying.
Be Unpredictable
Step out of your ordinary routine and out of your comfort zone and see what happens. Life can take interesting turns if you let it unfold on its own. Learn to loosen up on the reigns once a while and see where it takes you. We sometimes have a very tight grip on everything that we end up stressed about the smallest reasons.
Be like a kid and try to go with the flow sometimes. This way, you don’t close yourself off from receiving and experiencing many of the wonderful things that life has to offer.
Break the Rules
If you want to have fun, you need to learn to break some rules. Kids often hurt themselves trying to do things they think they can do. As adults we are better equipped to judge our own limits and capacities. However, this also makes us scared to try new things, especially if they don’t follow the norm.
Be like a kid sometimes and try to break the rules. If it doesn’t hurt, go for it and enjoy the moment.
You may want to play with kids once in a while to learn how they have fun. Don’t be surprised if you learn even more valuable tips or profound lessons from interacting with them. Maybe you can ask them how you can take back your life and have fun again. I’m sure you’ll get interesting answers.
What things are you doing to reach your goals? Who do you need to become to get closer to the successful version of you? Are you doing the things you need to do to realize your dreams? To these questions, a lot of us would answer in the negative, followed by different reasons. This is what you may call a “failure to launch”.
Not perfect
Fear is what stops most of us from launching ourselves into action. We fear that our strategy or plan may not be perfect and we may not succeed. We will never know if our plan works or not if we don’t put it into action. Begin doing what you need to do. Start right away.
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
— Walt Disney
Not complete
Another reason for failing to launch is not having enough resources. Not being in the ideal situation is another variant of this. Some people want everything to fall into place before taking any action. Don’t wait on what you can’t control. See what’s in front of you and start with what you have. Work on making small changes. This will prepare you to deal with the bigger things later on.
Small beginnings are the laughing pad to great endings.
— Joyce Meyer
Not big enough
Don’t be content with small successes. Small victories are an opportunity to launch into your bigger goals. Don’t dwell too long in the small victory and completely loose your focus on the bigger prize up ahead. Focus on your real dream even as you celebrate the small victories. You won’t feel motivated to consistently pursue your dreams if they’re not big enough.
By staying focused and flexible, you will meet and exceed your major life-forming goals. Success is not a resting-place — it is a launching pad.
— Denis Waitley
Not good enough
The most common reason people fail to launch is because they don’t believe they can. Unfortunately, life provides plenty of excuses to support this claim of not being good enough. The source of our limiting beliefs and mindset is often our own family and even our friends.
If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.
— Denis Waitley
Why not challenge yourself to break through this negative self-image and try to change it? Start by changing your own belief about your self. Believe you can change your situation or people’s negative impression of you. Change your actions; start acting and thinking like the person you want to be. Don’t get distracted by what others say. The important things is to focus on making progress.
Launch yourself into action!
If you’ve been waiting for a sign to finally take action, this is it! Your decision will determine your future. Make today, the day you launch your action plan to realize your new, improved self and your happier, wealthier life.
Feeling lost in life? Then, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is for you. One of the best-selling books of all time, the Alchemist is about the story of a young shepherd boy, Santiago and his quest to find treasures in the pyramids. The story is more than just your typical fiction stories. It is a philosophical book that will give you a better understanding of what life truly is all about. It is about listening to your heart, chasing your dreams and pursuing your destiny. There are so many powerful and valuable life lessons from The Alchemist that every person should read this book at least once in their life.
Here are 10 Valuable Life Lessons I’ve learned The Alchemist.
1. Life is Continuous Learning
Life is a continuous learning process. We can only grow us a person if we broaden our horizon and discover new things. Santiago knew this. Although a shepherd boy, Santiago loves to read books. He was able to dream of faraway places because he read about them.
Santiago also listens and seeks advice from people who are smarter than him. Throughout his journey, he met people along the way that served as his mentors– the king, the merchant, the Englishman and the alchemist.
Sadly, many people stopped learning after school. That is the reason why they got stuck in life. Others are too proud to ask advice from others. They think they know everything. The moment you think that you know everything is the start of your downfall.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
– Socrates
Santiago also learns from experience. His quest for the treasure was not smooth sailing. He made mistakes along the way but he learned from them.
There are so many valuable lessons to be learned throughout your life’s journey. Master the lesson. If you think that you have the same problem over and over again, that is because you have not learned the lesson yet. This applies in all aspects of your life whether it be your finances, career, health and even your relationships. Learn the lesson from past events, apply it and move on.
2. Always Look at the Bright Side
Santiago always find the good things in a bad situation no matter how big or small it is. Instead of complaining about how he had to carry the weight of his jacket in the heat of the sun, he remembered how that jacket kept him warm during winter nights. Likewise, he could have wallowed in self-pity when he lost everything in Africa; but he chose to change his perspective. Instead of looking at himself as a victim, he looked at himself as an adventurer in a foreign country.
In both cases, notice that both situations can be viewed negatively. But Santiago chose to look at them differently. Instead of of the negative, he looked for the positive. It is all about themindset.
3. Follow your Dreams
Ever since Santiago was a child, he wanted to travel the world. His parents wanted him to become a priest. Rather than adhering to his parents’ wishes, he summoned enough courage to talk to his dad to tell him that he wants to do something else in life. Instead of becoming a priest, Santiago decided to become a shepherd so he can travel.
That’s the problem with most of us. We become victims of other people’s definition of success. We follow a different path because that is what our family and society expected from us. As a result, we lost track of our destiny. What used to be very clear when we were young seems to be impossible when we grow up.
The thing is no matter how successful we become with our chosen path, there will always be a feeling of emptiness. You will never be truly happy if you are not doing your purpose in life. Destiny is what you always want to accomplish. If you feel that something is lacking despite having everything, that is life’s way of telling you that you are not doing what you were born to do.
Follow your passion. Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. Pursue your destiny if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with regret.
4. Give 10 Percent
Giving a tenth of your income to others is a form of gratitude to God for all the blessings that we have received. We have an obligation to share a portion of what we have. The only way for us to receive more blessings is when we learn to give first. Don’t promise to give what you don’t have yet. If it is hard for you to give when you have little, it will be harder to share when you have more. Give 10% of what you have right now.
5. The Simplest Things in Life are the Most Extraordinary
The secret to happiness is to be able to appreciate the beauty of your day to day life. It is seeing the wonders of the world and the beauty of the little things that we normally take for granted like the flowers, the scenery and the people around us.
Take pleasure in the simple things.
Happiness is never about the destination but rather it is about enjoying the journey. Each day matters. Every second counts. Learn to love everyday. Show the people around you how much you care. It’s all about mindfulness.
Towards the end of our life, the simple things like the time we spend with our family is what truly matters. True happinessboils down to the quality of our relationship with others. It is best that you cherish every moment while you still can.
6. Negative Things Happen in Life Because They Prepare our Spirit and our Will
Bad things happen to everyone, even to good people. These things happen not because we are being punished but because they are necessary for our growth. The pain that we experience in our lives actually prepares our spirit and our will in realising our destiny.
The road to the fulfilment of our dreams is never easy. There will be bumps along the way. Sometimes, we will be forced to make detours. We need to make some adjustments but the destination remains the same. The important thing is to keep on going forward. Once we have succeeded in overcoming life’s challenges, we become better persons.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
– Steve Jobs
The roadblocks that we will encounter are all part of a master plan. They all happened for a reason. It is difficult to understand at the moment but everything will make sense once you have found your treasure.
7. When you Want Something, All the Universe Conspires in Helping you Achieve it
Have you heard of The Secret? The Secret is actually the Law of Attraction. It states that if you really want something and you focus your thoughts on that, the universe will give it to you.
This belief system has been mentioned several times throughout the book, that there is a force out there that guides us. Whether you call it God, the Universe or the Soul of the World; that force is always nearby especially to those who wants to realise their destinies.
We should learn to recognise the omens or the signs and follow them. Sometimes, it appears as a solution or an idea. Sometimes, it presents itself as a direct message from somebody whom you are having a conversation with. Remember, there is no such thing as coincidence. There is a reason why you bumped into an old friend or why you are reading this article right now. We have to listen to what the universe is telling us. We also need to listen inward to our intuition.
In the same way, that if you think that the world is out there to get you, negative things will start happening your way. Thus, you have to be careful of what you think and what you say. In the story, when the monk told the alchemist that his payment goes well beyond his generosity; the alchemist quickly told the monk not to say it because life is listening. What the alchemist meant was that the universe responds to thoughts; thus, the monk might receive less next time.
There were numerous times when Santiago could have just given up, when he lost everything in Africa, when he had enough money to go back to Andalusia after working for the merchant or when he met Fatima in the desert oasis; but still he persevered.
Your treasure can only be uncovered after a series of tests. The closer you get to your dreams, the harder it will become. It takes a lot of courage, patience and persistence to finally be able to achieve your destiny.
9. Success Happens Outside your Comfort Zone
Santiago was already traveling as a shepherd boy but he sold his flock of sheep to go to Africa. After a year in Africa, he already earned enough money to either stay there or to go back to Andalusia but he chose to go to the desert. While in the desert oasis, Santiago had met the love of his life and earned the respect of the community but still, he opted to continue his quest for the treasure.
In all three scenarios, Santiago was already successful and comfortable with his life but he gave them all up to continue his journey and pursue his destiny. Just what do you think would have happened in the story if he decided to stay in his comfort zone. Do you think, he would have found his treasure?
In reality, many people don’t like change or are scared of change. As much as we want to pursue our dreams, we are more scared of disappointment. We are scared that we might lose everything that we have worked for if we are going to start anew. We would rather stay in our comfort zone. This is the reason why people get stuck in life whether it is a bad relationship or a job that they don’t like. Fear is one of the biggest obstacles that is keeping us from achieving our dreams.
10. Everyone has His Own Destiny
If a person is successful in one area, it does not mean that you too will be successful in that same area. It is because each person has his own destiny to fulfil. His way is not the same as yours. So, don’t compare yourself with others.
No matter who we are, everyone has a central role to play in the history of the world. Each one of us is unique. Embrace your uniqueness. As the Englishman said, we all can’t become alchemist, otherwise, gold will lose its value.
Good luck on your journey and I hope you find your treasure!
First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 08.24.2018
Feature Image from Free Image and mbll from Pixabay Images.
Life is made up of highs and lows and people of all ages experience it differently. When we are experiencing a “high” in some or several aspects of our life, we feel blessed, happy and fulfilled. We are compelled to celebrate our good luck and share our joy with those most important to us. When the opposite happens however, we tend to withdraw from everyone.
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When we’re sad, angry, frustrated, feeling hopeless or regretful, most of us would rather be alone. During this time, withdrawing from your social life can be helpful to your mental and emotional health. This is only if you do so for a short period of time. Here are some tips to help you get through your lowest point in life. These should help you feel better and to get back on your feet quicker.
1. Vent Out Your Emotions
If you’ve been holding on to some negative emotions for some time, now is the time to let them out. Give yourself a break. Venting out emotionally also benefits your mind and body. Cry out your sadness, write down your frustrations, eat a whole pint of ice cream while watching a drama, get angry, have a pity feast or do something creative. Just be sure not to do anything you will regret later. Give yourself a day or 2 to go through the process. Let your pent up emotions out but don’t dwell on them for too long.
Since you are emotionally vulnerable during this time, it is better to do this in a place familiar to you. Some people would rather get away to a new place to sort out their emotions. In both cases, it would be helpful to have a friend who understands what you’re going through. They can help you put a lid on things if you do get out of control. Remember though, your friend can only do so much. Only you can get yourself unstuck from your own emotions or mindset.
2. Get a Sense of Reality
When you have vented out your emotions, it’s time to take stock of the actual circumstances as they are. It’s time to “face the music” as the saying goes. Unless you accept the situation as it is, you won’t be able to move on. This is where an understanding friend is most helpful. This should be someone who knows you personally but is not necessarily involved in the situation.
It will be hard for most people to look at things without emotional attachment. A friend can serve as a more objective observer and can help you see things in a broader perspective. In this way, you can have a better understanding of the circumstances. Your friend can also help you see the point of view of the other people involved in the situation.
This is also the time to be grateful for the things that you have. Go over the lessons you have learned and the people who support you. With a better understanding of things, you can start getting clear, and get even more tips on how you can get through your lowest point in life.
3. Start a Plan
With a clearer perspective on things, it’s time to quit feeling sorry for yourself and start to move forward. Ask yourself: What’s the best approach to turn things around? What should be my first step to clarify things or to solve a major obstacle?
Think about the bigger picture and your goals both in the immediate future and for the long-term. What do I need to do to start my journey to my major goal? Are my previous or current plans aligned with my goals? Write down your goals and next steps.
Think carefully about what you should do each day, weekly, etc. to get closer to your goals. Don’t forget to integrate wellness practices into your daily schedule to keep yourself in the right mindset. You might even try to dress differently to make you feel better.
4. Put in The Work
Now that you have a plan, it’s time to put your plan into action. Plan your daily, weekly, monthly schedule. Organize your workspace to help you work more efficiently and be more productive. Make your environment more relaxing by removing clutter. Talk to the people you need to in order to start the ball rolling. Connect with the right people who can help you carry out your goals. Take each day as they come and keep doing what you need to do to move things forward.
While you are putting in the work by connecting with other people, make sure to invest in yourself as well. Take that online course or attend that training. Get the knowledge and skills you need for the next step in your plan.
As you enhance your knowledge and develop your own set of skills, you will also meet new people who will help you grow even more. As you renew your relationships, you will also encounter more tips and ways to get through your lowest point in life.
5. Be There for Someone Else
Moving forward is the only solution to not staying in the situation you don’t like. Sometimes, certain situations still trigger the negative emotions that we want to get out of our system. This makes it hard to focus on our goals and may hinder our progress. What’s the next best thing to do?
Instead of focusing on just your goals, try to reach out to others who need help too. Be there for them even if just to listen to their predicament. When you focus your attention on someone’s else’s problems, you can learn from their experience. You may find inspiration, or even the solution to your own predicament.
Even if you don’t, you will at least feel better knowing that you are not alone with your problems. You are able to make someone feel better just by being a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. This will help you feel even more grateful for the things you have in your life. You will feel more gratitude for the people and circumstances that allowed you to start moving on from your own low point in life.
These tips are just some of the ways you get through your lowest point in life. If you have been feeling down recently, you should check your overall wellness. If you feel that you can’t handle things by yourself, you should consider getting professional help. A therapist or psychologist can help you so you don’t fall into depression.
Remember that it is normal to experience many low points in your life. But as long as you try to get back up, you will get stronger. The next time you hit a low point in your life; the lessons you learned from the previous experience should help you recover even better than before.
Updated. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 2019.10.02. Feature Image: Original Photo by Pixabay from Pexels.
The phrase “moving on” is familiar to anyone who has ever experienced heartaches and hardships in life. You may need to move on from a romantic break-up, a job that didn’t work out, or a falling out with a friend. Any situation that requires you to let go of someone or something is hurtful. Moving on from the experience is a challenge.
We all have our own ways of moving on. Some of us bounce back quickly while others take longer to process their feelings and set themselves right again. Depending on the circumstances and the depth of the relationship between the individuals involved; moving on can shape our personalities and affect our outlook on life in a very profound way.
Example, whether it be good or bad, has a powerful influence.
— George Washington
We have relationships we have moved on from, are still moving on from, people who have moved on from us, and people we still keep with us. All have a huge impact in how we live our lives today. So it is important to look back and reflect on how these people contributed to our current outlook in life.
Challenge Yourself to Move On
Let us review our relationships. Reflect on the things we can learn from the persons who were around us back then and those who are still with us now.
Take a notebook or a sheet of paper, a pen and 2 highlighters with different colors. Make 3 columns on the page.
Label these columns as follows: Person, Negative and Positive.
In the Person column, write down at least 50 people who influenced your growth and development until now. These can include your parents and relatives, schoolmates, teachers, friends, mentors, etc. You can write more if necessary. They can include departed people as well.
On the next 2 columns, write down how each person influenced you in a negative and a positive way. There may be a relative or friend who acts selfish and complains a lot (negative). Their behavior also taught you how to be patient (positive) with others who act like them.
Using your highlighters, mark the persons you still keep in touch with until now in one color. Mark the persons you don’t want to keep in touch with anymore in another color. For the departed ones on the list; you can decide to skip them. Or you can include them if you feel that they still exert a major influence in your life until now.
In the process of making the list, think about why you chose the person. Try to remember the worst but also the best about each person. What has changed in your life for the better or for the worse after meeting them? Who did you have an easier time moving on from and who did you have a hard time letting go?
The Wind Beneath Your Wings
The people you choose to keep or let go, reflect the kind of life you have been living until now. The positive and negative traits they embody are also the same traits that you have been exhibiting and/or struggling with. They affect you mentally, emotionally, physically and greatly influence your overall quality of life.
There may be some past relationships that you have moved on from. You may realize that you are still carrying with you their negative influences. Your challenge then is to learn how to be grateful for the experience; be thankful for the lessons so you can finally let it go.
Not all relationships can be categorized as purely negative or positive. There are always shades of the other in each relationship. You may choose to stay in a relationship with a person who negatively influences you because it has positive results.
Attitude is greatly shaped by influence and association.
— Jim Rohn
For example, you may dislike your best friend’s nagging most of the time. However, you admire the fact that they are able to speak their mind openly. You appreciate that they always tell you the things that you need to hear. They don’t always agree with you when they think you’re wrong. You label them a “kill joy”. Most of the time, their actions help prevent you from doing something foolish that you may regret later on.
Or you may sometimes think of wanting to move far away from a friend who is socially awkward. It’s hard to be with them at a party. They don’t talk that much and you have to keep inserting them into the conversation. You have to keep talking to them so as not to make them feel left out. Their behavior frustrates you but you still keep in touch with them. They are always ready to lend a shoulder for you to cry on when you need it. They also listen to your woes and petty complaints without judgement. They’re also the friend who gives you the best advice.
Moving On and Moving Forward
You can consider these aspects of yourself and your relationships the wind beneath your wings. Each person is your wingman for different circumstances. Some of them help keep you afloat and rise up in tough times. Others may seem like they are dragging you down most of the time. Yet, they are still able to help you in different ways. How you balance these different aspects of your relationships with others and within yourself, will help sustain you through your life experiences.
The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits.
— Dan Buettner
Once you have identified these aspects that you wish to move on from and those you want to keep; then you can truly move on and move forward for the better. When you have clarity on the things you like or dislike and what you can tolerate; then you have identified the things that you value the most. This will make it easier for you to make decisions in life that are aligned with your values. This also makes it easier to choose which friends to keep.
Have you been feeling tired and stressed from your daily routine? Even for those stuck at home; a break in routine is still needed every once in a while. You long to go out and get away from it all. That’s just one of the reasons to go on a road trip.
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.
— John Lubbock, The Use of Life
A road trip is an opportunity to give your mind and body a rest. It’s a quick getaway that gives back huge benefits for your overall wellness. Who doesn’t want to enjoy the relaxing sights and sounds of nature without being rushed for time? We’re sure you have friends and colleagues who feel the same way. So why not put your heads together and plan for a road trip?
Here are just some of the many good reasons why you should absolutely go on a road trip.
1. Take a Break
When you’re bored with your daily routine or too stressed out to work, you lower your productivity. So instead of risking burn out, why not burn calories having fun on a road trip instead? A break from your usual weekend routine will also change your mindset and energy. It may even inspire new ideas on how you can make work more fun and productive.
If you usually spend your weekends catching up on sleep and still feel groggy on Mondays; that’s one of the good reasons to go on a road trip. Travel can help change your usual sluggish pace. Spending time in nature is always a good way to recharge. Plan a quick swim on the nearest beach or go trekking or biking on a nature trail. Enjoy breathing in the fresh air and take a walk on the ground with bare feet to ground you again and feel the health benefits.
2. Explore a New Place
Pick a place near your area that can be travelled by car that you’ve never been to before. Local travel may not seem as attractive an experience as your dream travel destinations. But you won’t know what gems you’ll find in your own backyard if you don’t go to experience them yourself. Another one of the reasons to go on a road trip is to help businesses in your locality. Ask your colleagues and friends for suggestions.
Is there a tourist spot that some of you have heard of that you want to check out? Have you visited a historical place near your city? Never tried taking a trek on a forest trail? Have you always wanted to climb a mountain? Would you rather have a food trip at some local town?
Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
— Dalai Lama
There are so many choices and possibilities. Just be sure not to put too much on your itinerary. A road trip should be a relaxing and fun experience. It should not be stressful; that’s what you’re trying to get away from.
3. Strengthen Relationships
There’s no question about it. Spending time together deepens the bond between people. That’s why you develop friendships in the workplace. You get to know each other’s personal quirks and preferences in the planning stage and you will learn even more about each other as you experience new things together during your travel.
On a road trip, you do not only get to bond with your friends, you also get to know new people. The stories you share with each other will help you understand each other more deeply than just casual work conversations. This is why people who travel together often go back to work with private jokes that only they understand. Some great friendships began with a road trip and some acquaintances become life long friendships because of a road trip. The people who you meet during your trip could become your very good friends later on too.
Stressed out from your love life or lack thereof? That’s another of the good reasons to go on road trip! It might just be the chance to meet “The One” that you’ve been waiting for.
4. Rediscover Yourself
Travel allows us to discover something new about ourselves. A new environment gives you the chance to reflect on yourself and be more aware of things you always took for granted. Sometimes, it even gives us the opportunity to change our own beliefs and habits and expand our minds to understand different points of views.
You may discover that you actually like listening to the songs of a local artist that a colleague likes to play on their mobile phone. It might just be the right song to accompany you on your road trip. It can even inspire the whole theme of your road trip or vice versa. You might find a new dish that you’ve never tasted before and it might inspire you to learn how to cook. Maybe you rediscover your creative side from encountering some local crafts or art.
You never know what you will learn about yourself once you get out of your comfort zone. What you discover may help improve your life or even drastically change it for the better. One of the best reasons to go on a road trip is that it might turn out to be the first step to your best life yet.
5. Create Lasting Memories
Time is something that you can never get back. You can always get a new job but never more time, so why not spend it making good memories?
Try to go on a road trip whenever you feel that you need to. Get together with the friends who want to experience new things with you too. Laugh togetherabout the funny stories that you have from your childhood; cry together while reading a letter to your past, heartbroken selfover a bonfire on the beach; sing along to your road trip play list; gaze at the stars on a clear night away from city lights and traffic; sleep to the sound of waves gently crashing on the beach; wake up to the sound of birds chirping.
There are so many things to appreciate and wonder at when you travel, and that’s just another one of the many good reasons to go on a road trip. Remember that the journey is the real adventure, the destination is not as important.
Enjoy the road trip with the wonder of a child and get back from the trip more grown up and hopefully, with a greater appreciation of yourself, your travel buddies, your country and the world in general. But don’t just take our word for it. Go on a road trip and experience it for yourself.
Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living 2019.07.16. Featured Image: Original Photo by picjumbo.com from Pexels.
After being cooped up indoors, we all want to take a break and get away from it all. Traveling is a good way to get a break and recharge. Before you start planning for that quick getaway, here are some tips to keep in mind. These tips will ensure that you get the most fun, stay safe, and keep stress away during your road trip.
1. Plan Your Route and Stop Overs
The first part of a plan for any road trip is to pick a destination. Once you’ve made your choice, check the maps and research online for the quickest route to get there. Check what stop overs you will be making on your way there and on your way back home. Stop overs usually include any checkpoints, toll gates, food places and gas stations. You should be prepared with the necessary items you need to go through these locations more quickly.
Take into consideration who you will be bringing with you on your road trip. For example, if you will be traveling with older people or kids; plan a route along roads with several locations where you can take toilet breaks.
Make sure to allocate ample time for whatever you will be doing for each stop over. Check the weather and traffic situation on the days of your trip. This means that you will be able to enjoy each stop over as much as you want to.
2. Allow for Spontaneity
You need to plan your road trip carefully but still have fun during the journey. Make sure you have ample time for other interesting stop overs and activities that you might encounter along the way. You might find that the locals have a better suggestion for a stop over than the one you originally intended. It is better to have a plan before hand on how you will decide for these kinds of situations.
If your destination is not a popular travel spot, information about it might not be updated; so be prepared for surprises. For example, that tranquil beach you saw online might now be a resort where locals flock to. If this happens, try to look at the bright side of the situation instead of dwelling on your disappointment.
3. Allocate Your Budget
A solid budget plan is important for any road trip so think about your budget carefully. Calculate and write down the total budget for the entire trip and break down of where the budget will go. Budget for what food to bring with you and other extra items you need to buy during the trip. Do the same for your personal budget so you include items such as local delicacies and souvenirs, for example.
Be sure to include required personal safety items such as face masks and sanitizers. Have a budget for safety items too in case your car breaks down before you arrive at your destination.
Your budget should also include entrance fees, gas and other extra expenses that you might incur along the way. Don’t forget to prepare actual cash on hand. There might not be ATMs or debit and credit cards are not accepted as payments in your destination. This is especially true for most mom and pop food places and souvenir stores in the provinces.
4. Prepare Your Electronics and Entertainment
A plan is good but the actual road trip will take several hours. Ample entertainment is key to keeping the atmosphere fun and enjoyable all thru the trip. You might pass some areas with poor Internet connectivity. Be prepared by loading your mobile device or tablet with enough music and/or movies to entertain you along the way.
Charge your electronic gadgets to full and prepare extra batteries. Make sure your power banks and digital devices are fully charged so you won’t run low on entertainment and energy. Bring emergency power supplies too, like a fully charged flash light. Also prepare your IDs and travel documents if you need to go through check points.
5. Clean, Prep and Pack the Car Properly
Make sure that your car is in top shape when you plan for the road trip. Have your car thoroughly cleaned. Make sure that all the scheduled, preventive maintenance is completed so your car doesn’t break down during the trip. Ensure that safety precautions have also been installed properly. You don’t want to get flagged for failing to comply with personal safety and travel guidelines.
Don’t forget to bring a spare tire and some tools for any mishaps. You might need to troubleshoot along the way. If your engine is prone to over heating, bring water for the car as well.
Last but not the least, plan how to pack everything you need in the space that your car allows. Decide which items you need to bring with you and what you can just buy on the road. Try to pack only what you will need.
You will need to pack light if you have travel buddies and your car is smaller. Plan what you can put in the back of the car. Decide what each person can bring with them in their bags. This way you can all enjoy the trip comfortably and safely.
These are just some of the things you need to consider when planning your road trip. Be well prepared so you can stay comfortable and safe and have fun on the trip. Don’t forget to be open to new adventures along the way.
Got more tips for a road trip? We would love to hear them.
If you’re planning to go abroad, be sure to observe proper travel etiquette so you enjoy your trip. Of course, you should observe these during your local travels too. For first time travelers, here are some worthy travel goals to inspire you.
Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living 2019.07.19. Feature Image: Original Photo by William Christen on Unsplash.
Imagine yourself writing a novel and that novel is your life. You know what you want to happen in the future, but at the moment; you don’t know how to continue the story to get there. Have you experienced times like these when it feels like you are stuck in a rut?
Most people would just label you as procrastinating or being lazy but this feeling is real. More often, it’s because of exhaustion or boredom, or a lack of something that you want in your life that you can’t quite put a finger on.
From time to time, we all want to take a break from routine. We want to experience something more exciting and fun. We want to feel that our life is fun and interesting again. Having these moments does not make you weird. It is a normal phase in everyone’s life. You can call it a minor quest in the game of life, and going through it actually helps you grow.
If you’re trying to get yourself out of a funk right now, here are some things you can do to inject more fun into your life.
1. Watch the Sun Rise
If you usually snooze until 6AM, try waking up earlier so you’re up and about before the sun rises. It would be helpful if you also slept earlier the night before but you can use an alarm clock. No matter how sleepy or groggy you feel, get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button. Drink some water and get yourself some sunshine.
You can open your window or go outdoors to watch the sun rise. Don’t look at the sun directly of course. You can close your eyes and soak up the sunshine. Or you can snap some pictures or draw the scenery or write about it on your journal. Random activities like this encourage you to appreciate life in a fun way. The point is to take some time in your day to appreciate this phenomenon that we usually take for granted. Alternatively, you can watch the sun set too.
2. Try a New Playlist
Can’t focus on work even with your go-to music playlist? Consider working with a new set of songs. Maybe dance songs can energize you more instead of your usual classical music. Or try a fusion of both – modern pop songs played by classical instruments or an orchestra. You can choose music that makes you feel happy or sad, inspired or heart broken. You already know which choice is better for you.
If there are movies who’s theme songs inspire you, search for them online and use that for a change. Or if you want something without instruments, try acapella music or listening to a podcast about a topic you’re interested in. Life shouldn’t feel too dull when you are having fun listening to something that stimulates you.
3. Reorganize Your Stuff
Sometimes boredom sets in when we want something new in our environment. Life can lose its fun when you keep seeing the same things each day. No wonder you feel bored and exhausted with your life!
Take a good, long look at your office setup and try to rearrange the furniture another way. You can also do this for other rooms in your house. Maybe move some of your favorite decorative items from one room to another. If your favorite lamp is in your bedroom, maybe using it on your work desk would improve your creativity and productivity.
Consider doing some decluttering to clear out your room or house and your mind. Maybe you need to reorganize your wardrobe. Or maybe you need to let go of things you are not using to improve the look and feel of your entire home.
4. Sweat Out Your Funk
Rearranging your furniture not enough? Maybe you need more intense activity to stimulate you. Put on your exercise clothes, put on your favorite dance music play list and start moving. Or use a dance exercise video that you like. Inject some fun into your life but doing something you love without fear of judgment.
Just focus on moving your body and don’t mind if you aren’t a good dancer. We all know that exercise can help get your good vibes going. Just don’t do it so intensely that you sprain or break something. Be sure to hydrate yourself and take a break when you need to. Observing healthy habits daily is one way to keep up your energy and avoid feeling exhausted or bored with your day.
5. Catch Up With a Friend
Exhaustion and boredom can also be caused by lack of communication or social interaction. Think of a friend or a family member who you haven’t talked to for some time and make an appointment to call them. Make sure they aren’t busy when you call.
Don’t stress yourself out on what you can talk about. Just be honest and tell them that you just want to talk to them. You can recall the fun you had at certain points in your life when you could still go out together. Most of the time, you will get a positive response. Your friend will appreciate the break in their routine too.
6. Write A Letter to Your Younger Self
Pretend that you are now the successful version of yourself. You need to write a letter to encourage your younger self to not forget to have fun in their daily life. Most importantly, you need explain to them why they shouldn’t give up on their dreams. Be honest and sincere in your letter. It doesn’t matter how long it becomes as long as you are able to put out your true feelings. This process can be therapeutic and help you loosen up some emotional stress that you may be holding on to.
Tears maybe involved as you write your letter so be sure to have a box of tissues and water with you as you do this. You can also play some background music and light some candles to enhance the ambiance. Make the experience special. You are not only going back through memory lane; you are reconnecting with yourself in the process and also creating a new and memorable experience.
7. Read Out Loud
In your younger years, wasn’t it fun to be someone else and live a different life every now and then? Recreate those fun moments again. Get your favorite book or any book that’s at hand and read out loud. Magazines and newspapers also work. You can choose how to read it. You can read it faster than you usually would.
Maybe pretend that you are a broadcaster reading the news or a journalist reporting on site. Read it like you are in a stage play, or read it in a different voice like a movie voice over or a book narrator. Or if it’s a story you’re reading, read it using different voices for each character like when you read children’s stories.
Pick helpful books and articles that are interesting and fun to read instead of those with sad or horrifying topics. Make sure not to disturb your neighbors though, so read out loud but don’t shout. This is a fun way to raise your confidence too.
Why Are You Not Having Fun?
If none of these seem to work, maybe you should ask yourself why you are not having fun in your life. Sometimes, there are more deep-seated reasons why you feel exhausted about your life and why you feel bored of living.
Ask yourself these questions to help you find out why you are feeling this way about your life. Maybe there are some things in your life that you are not addressing. These questions should help you find the reason for your feelings and also help you get to know yourself better.
There are other things you can do when you are stuck at home and feeling bored to ensure that you always have fun experiences in your life. Whatever it is that has got you stuck in your life right now, know that you’re going to be ok. Recognize that the Universe has got your back and a lot of us are cheering you on. Let us overcome this together and become better versions of ourselves from the experience.
Got other ideas on how to inject more fun into your daily routine? We would love to hear them in the comments.
When you are asked what is success, what is your answer? Do you have a sure and ready answer or does the question compel you to pause and think? Most people have a ready, but not necessarily sure, answer to this question.
The most popular answer is either to be wealthy or to be happy. If this is also your answer, have you thought about how much wealth you need to have to be able to say you’re successful, or how do you know when you have succeeded in achieving happiness?
Wealth constitutes what you have when someone takes all your money away.
— Jordan Peterson
If you pause and think about this question, then you might be considering what exactly being successful means. As a way to answer the question, let’s first try to define what it is not.
What Success Isn’t
Most people would consider failure as the opposite of success. But if you review the lives of many individuals we consider “successful”, most of them had their turning point to success after a series of failures, or right after a major failure or a combination of these events. Take a look at these people:
Walt Disney – fired from the Kansas City Star because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Formed his first animation company but had to dissolve it because he could not pay his rent. Went on to be nominated for 59 Academy Awards for his work.
Oprah Winfrey – born into poverty, was pregnant at 14, fired from her first TV job because she was “unfit for television.” Became the host to one of the longest-running talks shows on TV and now has her own media empire.
Bill Gates – his first company with two other partners failed but this didn’t stop him from trying again. He founded Microsoft, one of the worlds biggest companies and he is now one of the wealthiest men in the world.
JK Rowling – found herself divorced, on welfare and with a child to support by the time she finished her first book. Her book was rejected by all 12 major publishers until a year later when Bloomsbury accepted it and gave her a small advance fee. Her series of books is still enjoying huge success.
Failure is Part of Success
Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.
— Winton S. Churchill
From these few examples, there are some noticeable patterns for achieving success:
Failure is just a stepping stone to success.
Focusing on a major goal and not giving up is important.
Success is not concentrated in just one career path or industry.
Wealth is a consequence of achieving success.
An important thing to take note of is that each of them had different major goals in life based on their personal talents or interest or what we may call as their passion. They set out to do something which they already love to do. This fueled them to keep on working even when facing setbacks.
Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
— Winston S. Churchill
Although their goals were personal to them, it also had a huge impact on a large number of people. Their actions in pursuit of their goals fulfilled a need, addressed a lack that people were trying to find a solution for. This attracted people to support them and their activities which boosted their momentum towards their goals.
Success isn’t just about what you accomplish in your life; it’s about what you inspire others to do.
— Unknown
They did not set out specifically to become wealthy but it was a by-product of achieving their goals and thus, being successful in their particular field.
Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion.
— Tony Hsieh
What Success Is
Using the observations we have from the examples we reviewed previously, we can define success roughly as follows:
Success is the state of an individual who has achieved a major life goal that they pursued diligently by overcoming failures, which also benefits a large number of people.
Obviously, success is something that you define personally, so you can reword this definition the way you think is more appropriate to you. The more important thing is that you understand the whole concept.
Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.
— Conrad Hilton
Arriving at a state or position in life where you can call yourself successful means that you have achieved a “major life goal”. “Major” is emphasized here, because in order to reach this goal, you have to succeed in the smaller goals first.
Think of it as succeeding in your daily health habits, like eating the right food, which leads to your success in your major health goal of losing weight and achieving a slimmer body.
How To Be Successful
From these patterns, we can further say that the method for success is as follows:
You define your major goal in life.
Your goals should benefit other people.
You work diligently to pursue your goal.
You don’t give up when you fail.
Now that you have a blueprint for success; it’s time to take your first step to determining your own definition of success.
Start Your Journey to Success
One of the first things you can do to start your journey to success is to define what you mean by success. There are many ways to go about this so choose the one that works for you. Here are some guide questions you can ask yourself to get started:
Take some time to think about your answers to these questions and write them down. An important tip while doing these exercises, and even while you’re pursuing your goals, is to maintain a happy demeanor.
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
— Albert Schweitzer
This means that you “choose to be happy” every day and not wait to succeed to become happy. By deciding to be happy every day, you will be able to bounce back from failures better and you will be more open to learning from new things from other people and experiences.
We hope this helps you gain clarity on what success means to you and also help you take your first steps to your journey. Cheers to your success!
