life experience

Sep

2021

What is A Good Day?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

What is a good day to you? How do you have one? How do you measure a good day? Not all our days can be said to be good days. The good thing is, we have the choice to make our day good or bad.

Start the Morning Right

One sure way to have a good day is to get a good start. Do you have a morning routine? What does it consist of? Starting your day right puts you in the right mental state and gives you the energy to get through the daily grind. Your morning doesn’t have to be perfect either. Sometimes, you may need to skip one part of your routine to stay within your schedule. That’s totally fine. Just do better the next time and stay consistent.

Appreciate the Little Things

For the rest of the day, be sure to drink water, take your meals on time and don’t forget to take breaks and indulge in some fun. We often forget to take care of ourselves. We have become used to being busy as a measure of productivity. If you are stressed, anxious or too tired, you won’t be able to enjoy each moment. Did you even appreciate the taste of your morning coffee or favorite lunch? Be mindful of the things that you are doing. Learn to appreciate the little things. Slow down if you have to. You won’t be able to appreciate the good in your day, if you don’t feel good yourself.

End the Day with Thanks

At the end of the day, it’s time to evaluate. Was today good? What made it good? This is the time to be thankful. In your gratitude journal, review and be grateful for the things that made today a good one. Little things, coincidences, surprises, the people who made you smile or comforted you or helped you. These are some of the things that can make up your good day. Include this as part of your night time ritual. Be sure to indulge in some self-care and get a good night sleep to ensure a good start daily.

A good day depends on what you consider good about it. As you continue recognizing and acknowledging the things that make your daily experience good; you will attract more good things into your days. When you look back, you will be surprised that you can count more good days than bad days in your calendar. You might want to encourage your friends to find the good in their day as well. Ask them: What’s good about today?

Feature Image: Original Photo by Jonathan Sebastiao on Unsplash.

Aug

2021

How to Turn Pain into Success

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Many of us want to learn how to turn pain into success. There is no shortcut to success. Being successful always entails hard work and a bit of luck. Painful experiences are part of the process to creating a more successful you. However, when you go through challenges in life, such as losing your job or going thru grief; there are some things you can do to turn your pain into stepping stones to progress, and eventually become successful in your goals.

Rest and Assess

Experiencing challenges and pain forces us to stop in our tracks and even rest from our daily routine. This is the best time to get mental and physical rest as well as emotional rest. Your focus at this time should be how to feel better. When your mind and body are relaxed, and your emotions are calm; you are in the best condition to take stock of things. You can make an honest assessment of your current circumstances and how best to change them. Your lowest point in life could be an opportunity to reset your life.

Explore and Learn

The time of pain is a time to help you explore your feelings and learn from them. Dig deep but don’t dwell on blame or on feeling the victim. The important thing is to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you reacted the way you did to a particular person or situation. What triggered your emotions and what could be the cause? Exploring your pain allows you to learn more about yourself. This way, you can get clearer on how you can become better. You can do this with a friend or loved one, in a safe space where you won’t fear being judged.

Create Goals, Not Vices

Sometimes when we are in pain, we want to be alone and we even forget to take care of ourselves. If we dwell on our pain too much without processing them, not taking care of ourselves becomes a habit. Bad habits become vices overtime. This is not a good way to live your life or to heal from your pain. So when you have taken time to rest and reflect; make sure you create goals based on the lessons you learned. This way, you give your self and your life a direction to make progress and grow. Creating goals to move forward is one of the best ways you can turn your pain into a step towards success.

Think Positive, Do Positive

It is important to keep up a positive outlook even in times of pain. Losing hope in yourself and in the future is a dead end. There is always a lesson to be learned, a silver lining to the storm so to speak. Keeping a gratitude journal helps but expressing gratitude towards others for the little things they do for you is even more fulfilling. It is also important to learn to smile, at your self and to others.

The future may be uncertain, but you can be sure that the sun will rise again. Take each day as a chance to start or restart. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, you are a work in progress just like everyone else. The only way to overcome challenges is to keep working on it. As long as you don’t quit, you will find success later on.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash.

Aug

2021

Stop Saying “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”; Say This Instead

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Grief is always a complicated process and its effects are different for each individual. Consoling someone in grief is also a delicate situation. Just saying “I’m sorry for your loss” doesn’t really help that much to alleviate the person’s pain.

There are reasons for not saying this phrase to a grieving person and some suggestions on what to say instead.

Why We Shouldn’t Say “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”

Grief needs more than a cliche

Family members hearing “I’m sorry for your loss” from so many people doesn’t alleviate their pain. It only keeps hammering them about the painful situation that they are in. This provides no consolation at all. It is the most common response to this kind of situation; so much so that it almost loses its sincerity. It has become a programmed response. Painful situations like the death of someone important in a person’s life need more than just a cliche.

It supports the wrong mental programming

Saying “I’m sorry for your loss” also evokes the wrong mental programming by tiptoeing around the subject of death. When you tell someone that they have lost something, it acknowledges that the matter is a personal experience. It also avoids the actual situation. When someone losses something, it usually means that the person did something or did not do what was needed, which resulted in the loss. The real situation is that they are grieving for someone else who died. They will always have regrets; whether they did everything they could, or missed out on the opportunity to express their love and care for that person. Saying the cliche phrase only takes them away from the real situation and does not help in their healing process.

What We Should Say Instead

There are alternatives to the cliche that would be more helpful to people who are grieving. These responses are clearer. They focus on the actual situation of someone dying. The good thing is, they provide the grieving person the support they need to process their situation.

“I’m so sorry to hear about [name of the person who died]. I’m sure you’re going to miss her/him terribly. How are you holding up right now? / What can I do to help?”

“I’m sorry that you are suffering right now. I will be here with you and will help you anyway I can. Is there anything you need right now?”

“I’m sorry for the challenges that might lie ahead of you but I’m here and willing to help you. Would it be okay with you if I call you up next week to check in with you?”

“Please accept my deepest condolences. I can’t imagine what you must be going thru right now but I know it must be very challenging. If there’s anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“I know there’s nothing I can say right now to make things better. I know talking about it will help so don’t hesitate to call me if you need to talk to someone.”

Sometimes, a few words and a hug is all it takes to express our support.

“I know it’s hard…” is a good way to start communication with an aggrieved person as it acknowledges their current situation.
“Let me help” is a very supportive way to show someone you are willing to help them to process their pain.
“I’m here for you” is a powerful way to assure someone that you will support them during this challenging time in their life.
“You have my heart and support” tells the grieving person that you resonate with their suffering and are willing to share their burden.

All these alternative phrases acknowledge the situation while providing the grieving person the go signal for processing their grief. Supportive words like these allow for the grieving person to feel supported instead of being isolated by those around them. This helps make the grieving process an easier burden to bear and leading them to the healing stage much faster.

One thing we can do to lessen the grief when times like these come, is to make sure that we do all we can to cherish our loved ones while we still can. When we know in our hearts that we showed and expressed our love for our loved ones as best we can while they were still alive; we will have fewer regrets. Then facing their death and healing from the experience should also be less harder.

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 07.13.2019.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash.

Aug

2021

What To Do When You Lose Your Job

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The COVID-19 pandemic is no longer just a health crisis. It has also turned into an economic crisis. Millions of people lost their jobs. If you are one of those people, what to do when you lose your job?

1. Feel Sad, then Move On

When something bad happens, it is okay to not be okay. Sadness is a part of life. You can even cry your heart out. In fact, people who cry a lot are mentally strong. Acknowledge what you are feeling, it is the only way to move on. However, do bear in mind that this should be done on a temporary basis only. Doing this for many months or years is a definite no, no.

2. Process Your Unemployment Claims and Benefits

Whatever the reason is for losing your job, process the unemployment claims and benefits that go with the separation. File for unemployment in your government. Get all the monetary compensation that you are entitled to from both your previous employer and the government. Any financial benefits will help you in the coming months until you settle on a new job.

3. Create a New Budget

One of the biggest consequences in losing your job will be in the decrease in your monthly income. Thus, it is imperative to create a new budget especially if you are the head of the family. A good budgeting technique is the money jar budgeting system. There might be a need to cut down on your expenses. If you have enough passive income or savings to last, then it wont’t be a problem. If not, you need to ensure that you have enough money to pay your bills until you get a new job. Also, watch out for money leaks.

4. Redesign Your Life Through A Bucket List

Now that you have closed one chapter of your life, this is the best time to redesign your life through a bucket list. It is time to create new goals. What are your plans 5 to 10 years from now? How do you see yourself in the future? If you are not happy with your previous profession for a long time, maybe now is the time to follow your passion. Try exploring a new career. Unleash the genius within you.

5. Update Your Resume and Clean Your Social Media

Once you have figured out where you want to go from here, it is now time to update your resume and your LinkedIn Account. If you don’t have one, it is time to create one. While you are on it, this is also the perfect time to clean your social media account. Let’s face it, we now live in a highly technological world. Future employers are bound to check your social media accounts to find out more about you. Remove all negative posts or remarks you have made. Your goal is to make a good impression.

6. Reconnect with Your Network

Look for people whom you can use as reference in your job applications. You may need to contact your previous employer to get a good recommendation. It also helps to reconnect with family, friends or alumni who belong to the same industry. They may be able to help you in your job search.

7. Apply, Apply and Apply

Don’t just apply in one company. Apply in as many as you can. The more applications you submit, the better your chance of being accepted in at least one of them. After all, unlike before where you have to mail or physically go to a company to apply; nowadays, you can just apply through a click of a mouse. Remember to include a targeted cover letter in your application.

8. Invest in Your Personal Development

While waiting for responses, it is best to use your time learning new skills. For example, being computer literate is already a prerequisite skill nowadays since most companies have already adapted or in the process of integrating computerized technology in their systems. Having decent computer skills can help you in your job search. Another skill that can come in handy is knowing a second or third language. You don’t even need to leave your house to study. There are many schools online. In fact, you don’t even need to pay. There is a lot of online content that can be useful to you.

Good luck!

Feature Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels

Aug

2021

Turn “ON” the Real You

Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s time to turn “ON” the real you; that version of yourself that includes all aspects of yourself: your persona and your shadow; the 2 sides of one coin. Accepting all parts of who you are is the first step to transforming yourself for the better. If we cannot accept who we are right now; we won’t be able to embrace who we can become.

The wound is the place where the light enters you.
– Rumi

Nobody is perfect. Everyone is a work in progress. So don’t be afraid to accept your own flaws. It is only by recognizing your flaws that you can start to change them, heal them and turn them into a positive part of your self. Being able to love the perfect and imperfect side of yourself helps you live a more balanced life.

Sometimes, it is our fears that makes us stronger in other aspects of our lives. Accept these fears too, so that you don’t have to suffer through them alone. You may meet people who have the same fears and you can work together to live thru them or overcome them.

Everyone has their flaws; embarrassing memories, petty biases, guilty pleasures. We all have things we’d rather hide in the shadows. Unless we accept them as part of our selves, our history, our character; we will never be able to heal them. If we cannot heal, then we cannot move on.

Many people are stuck in the past, in their childhood traumas, never overcoming them. Healing is a gradual process but the first step is acceptance. Accept that you have made a mistake, that you were once a victim of people or circumstances. Accept that you have been wrong or been wronged and then forgive yourself. When you have forgiven your self for your own shortcomings; it becomes easier to forgive others.

Both light and shadow are the dance of love.
– Rumi

Turn “On” the real you so you can live a more balanced life. Accept all parts of you, the good and the bad, the genius, the fool, the beautiful and the ugly. Accept who and what you are now; all of what and who you are. Instead of looking for who or what to blame, look for ways on how to become a better version of yourself. Self-acceptance is a journey that lets you forgive and heal along the way. It takes believing in your self, courage to keep on moving forward and loving yourself to start the process. When you have fully accepted your self; you can start creating a new story.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash.

May

2021

Different Ways to Discover Your Self

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Each one of you are finding different ways to discover your self every day even if you don’t know it. Most of us think we already know ourselves inside out. We think we are what we do and we act that way. We identify with our jobs, our family’s expectations, our friends’ descriptions of us. Deep inside, we know these aspects of our selves are just a part of us. A persona we show to the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes

There is a feeling lurking within us that we are something more than what others see; what we let others see. There are things stirring in our shadow self that we want to get out into the world. A part of ourselves that we still can’t describe; potential that we both fear and admire. It may help us unleash our hidden genius or ruin our life’s work. Unless we can identify it; we won’t be able to harness this potential. If we can’t know this part of our self; we will always feel that we are not enough. Instead of being frustrated; why not actively go on a journey to discover your self?

The Process of Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is a continuous process, not a specific or final answer. The process of self-discovery is not found when you reach a destination. You come to discover more of your self through your life journey. Discovering your self is not just a one-time process. It involves discovering something new about ourselves as well as rediscovering old, forgotten parts of ourselves. There may even be instances when you uncover a part of yourself that you have kept hidden because you feel you are ready for it. Along the way, we may change in many ways. It is through this journey that we find purpose and meaning in our lives.

Be Aware of Your Current Self

Awareness is the first step to getting actively involved in your self-discovery. Get a clearer and deeper understanding of your own personal characteristics, your emotions, needs, values, strengths and weaknesses. Spend time to reflect on the parts of your personality that you already know.

Find out what gives you joy; what are your hopes and dreams; the things that you are passionate about; what things are holding you back; what negative experiences have you carried with you since childhood? These questions will leave you feeling vulnerable but they are an important step to getting to know yourself better. You can do this through journaling, talking to family and friends, or to a professional. The important thing to remember is to be honest with your self.

Experiment with A Different Self

Once you have a map of your current self; you pretty much have an idea of what your personality is. You are also able to identify some of the things you do, or want to do, that would clash with your current personality. Examining your self does not stop at knowing where things are. You also need to test how far things can go.

Your self, or your personality, is a fluid entity. Contrary to popular belief, you are not stuck with your personality. Getting stuck and getting out of it and flowing into a new one is all up to you. So make an experiment of the process. Do something that you don’t usually do and see how far you can go with it. For example, you may be a people pleaser, a “Yes man”. So try experimenting what would happen if you just said “No” to other people. Most of the time, you will find that your worries and fears don’t come true. It is only your belief that’s holding you back from accepting this part of your self, and from changing your situation.

Trust in Your Own Path to Self-Discovery

There is no one way to the journey of self-discovery. Each person has their own path and their own time for the journey. The important thing is to trust your own path. Don’t compare your self to others. Also, be kind to others and help as much as you can. Remember that everyone is on their own journey and some will have a harder time than others. Having a positive mindset and an attitude of gratitude helps a lot.

Discovering, rediscovering and uncovering more of yourself also helps to develop your trust in your self. Most people are going about their daily lives fulfilling their duties according to what others expect of them. Being actively involved in the process to discover your self means that you need to learn to trust your self rather than the world around you. It means being able to focus on what you truly want and being grateful for what you have even if the world tells you that you’re doing things wrong.

Discovering your self also means that you learn to accept difficult things about you as well as others around you. For example, you learn to trust your feelings instead of just your thoughts. You learn to love yourself more. You learn to be okay even if some things don’t go the way you wanted them to. More importantly, you learn to be comfortable with all parts of who you are; and if people don’t like it, you don’t feel bad when they walk away.

The journey to self-discovery may involve losing friends and even loved ones along the way. Know that it is not your fault. It is just that their part in your journey is over and they need to go on their own paths. There are many things that you will need to accept and lose during your journey. As you learn and develop your self; you will find that it will all be worth it.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash.

Apr

2021

5 Ways You Can Suffer from Social Media Addiction

Reading Time: 5 minutes

There are many ways you can suffer from social media addiction. In today’s world, it is almost impossible to not be a part of social media in some way. There are many social media platforms to chose from. Most people have at least 2 to 3 social media accounts on different platforms.

The use of social media has become so ingrained in our daily routine. We don’t often notice the harm it can cause. Just like any addiction, social media can become a habit that is hard to let go. Today, not having a social media account makes you seem anti-social. However, becoming anti-social is actually one of the negative effects of being addicted to social media.

With the rise of more affordable mobile devices, the use of social media is also on the rise. This also means that more people are experiencing the negative effects of being addicted to the use of social media.

1. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) + Unhealthy Sleep Patterns

People who can’t stop checking their social media accounts so frequently do so because of a fear of missing out. This is one of the reasons why people develop social media addiction. Be it on the latest trends in fashion, entertainment or news; they don’t want to miss out on the latest happenings. Nobody wants to be criticized for being old fashioned or late to the news by their “friends” on social media. As a result, they spend their time late into the night, following recommended links and discussing these with their group.

This is especially true if you join a social media group which focuses on a particular topic. You need to be very active in the group conversations in order to be noticed. This is why you need to keep yourself updated on the topic/s so your comment gets more attention. In this cycle of events, you feel that you are getting more friends even as you lose more sleep.

This type of environment makes you feel like you belong to a group. In turn, this makes you feel the need to contribute to the group and make your presence felt. The problem is that this group is a virtual group; so you don’t really know the actual members. Spending too much time in this online group may lead to you developing anti-social tendencies in your personal relationships.

2. Developing Anti-Social Tendencies

You may have more than 500 friends or followers on your social media profile. Question is, do you really know each of them personally? You may be a part of a popular social media group, but do the members know each other at all?

Social media groups and group chats are useful for learning new things. They also allow you to get to know new people with similar interests as you. Spending time with your online friends is enjoyable but it also deprives you of quality time with your friends in the physical world.

Being immersed in just one group for too long will also encourage “group think”. This mindset makes you less open to exploring new ideas and concepts. You might reject an excellent suggestion about a particular topic just because it isn’t aligned with your group’s opinion. When you are limiting yourself to group think, you end up with more arguments instead of meaningful and productive discussions.

If you always spend time online and/or always argue with your friends and loved ones offline; eventually, you will develop anti-social behavior which could lead to more serious relationship issues and mental health issues later on.

3. Getting a Negative Self-Image

Social media posts are generally about good things or bad things in a particular person’s life experience. If you are always stalking your favorite social media influencer because you want to imitate their “perfect” life; then you are in for trouble. No one can have the perfect body unless they’ve been digitally enhanced. Life is only perfect in still pictures. People in social media tend to highlight only the good stuff. This is especially so in ads or thru celebrity endorsements.

Comparing yourself to the perfect lifestyle of celebrities is a negative habit. Doing it regularly will only make you develop a negative self-image. Instead of encouraging you to accept and love yourself; it may even give you a more negative view of the world in general.

As you stalk your favorite social media personality’s profile; you pine away at the things you don’t have in your life yet. With this habit, you are also negatively impacting your physical and mental health. Lingering on your social media feed will lower your self-esteem even more. There is a higher chance of this happening if you don’t have a healthy measure of self-confidence to begin with.

4. Setting Unrealistic Expectations

We all know the saying: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Based on your online friends, what type of person will you become or have you become that person already?

Being constantly on social media may give you unrealistic expectations of the real world. Relationships on social media are very different from relationships in real life. How people behave on social media is not how real people behave in the physical world. Relationship stress in the real world are very different from online ones. Constantly comparing your own situation to that of your social media idols and friends will result in many disappointing experiences.

It is even more harmful if you have experienced cyber-bullying in your social media group/s. This is similar to experiencing peer pressure in real life. It is just as harmful online because your attackers may be more than you can handle. Since you don’t know each other personally, any way you defend yourself will be useless. But since they are speaking as a group, then their opinions will come off as valid and believable. You may end up following their advise even if you’re not really sure about it. This is another negative effect of “group think”.

5. Feeling Depression and Anxiety

Aside from news channels, how many people have you seen online venting their frustrations and personal issues on their profiles? If you’ve started doing the same, then you might also be exhibiting the symptoms of depression.

Some people use social media to vent out their frustrations. This is actually alright if you are sharing such matters to just a select group of intimate friends and/or relatives. But if you are venting publicly, then you may invite unwanted attention and unsolicited advise as well as criticism.

If you are ranting on your social media group, you may receive both helpful comments as well as criticism. However, if you can’t manage the comments wisely, then you will only end up getting stressed and anxious. You may even end up depressed from one negative remark which might trigger a host of other negative emotions.

Depression is not something to make light off. Most people are not even aware that they are depressed. Do you find yourself constantly looking for validation online, instead of asking help from your actual friends and family? You may be more anxious or depressed than you think.

Next time you pick your phone or check your social media profile, try to set a time limit. This way, you don’t miss out on the more important things you need to pay attention to.

Do you know people who have experienced any of these ways that you can suffer from social media addiction? Have you experienced any of these yourself? The first step to solving the problem is awareness. Just like money, you should spend more on experiences that you will remember later on, with the people you love, instead of meaningless chatter online. Manage your time online wisely so you don’t miss out on the wonderful experiences real life has to offer.

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2019.10.15.
Feature Image: Original Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV from Pexels.

Mar

2021

How to Reset Your Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

At some point in our lives, we always ask the question: “How can I reset my life?” This feeling of wanting to reset one’s life usually happens when one experiences, or is undergoing, a major life event. Some people may also want to reset their life in order to make a change to their regular routine. Whether you find your life too boring and want it to be more fun; or your current life feels unstable and you want to make changes to find more stability; a life reset is an important process. There are different ways to go about it. Generally, these are the steps on how to reset your life.

1. Make an honest assessment

Before you can move on to the next phase; an honest assessment of your current state of life is very important. This is the time to examine your life, and your life choices, and take a closer look at what the results have been. Where the results bad or unsatisfying? Is your current life comfortable but not fun anymore? Do you want to take on new challenges? Be honest with yourself and don’t think about who or what to blame. Accepting the situation as well as your own faults is the only way you can correct them.

The goal of this assessment is not just to identify the negatives in your self and in your life. It will help you see how and where you can change things. With an honest assessment about your current life situation; you can see more clearly what things you are unsatisfied about. You can determine what decisions you made or did not make, that resulted in the situation you are in right now. This will make it easier to pinpoint where you can start to change things.

2. Envision the change that you want

We used to imagine all kinds of fun and adventures when we were children. Imagining the life you want is an important step in how to reset your life. Just as you were honest in assessing your current life situation; be honest to what you truly want in life. Take the time to think about this and to envision the life that you want. Spend some time in meditation on how you want your new life to be. An important factor you should consider in this step are your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself: “What thoughts and feelings would the new me have when I am living the life I want?”

Create a vision board or write down your vision for a new life or record yourself as you talk about it. Review your vision board, what you wrote or what you recorded. Try to identify the major keywords you used. List down your goals based on these keywords. Don’t be too strict about it. Focus on your major goals first. Finally, try to summarize your major life goals into a single statement. This will be your vision statement that will regularly remind you of your major life goals.

3. Make your goals SMART

Now that you have your major goals, it’s time to break them down into actionable and measurable steps. Follow the SMART method when doing this. It is important that you break down your major goals into smaller goals to make it easier for you to implement them. Think of your major goals as the destination and smaller goals are what will make up your daily routine. Your daily goals will serve as a checklist that will help you measure your progress towards your major goals.

Having a checklist of smaller goals makes it easier for you to focus on them daily. This makes the process of developing new habits smoother. This also helps prevent decision-fatigue. Decision fatigue happens when you are presented by too many choices. You end up wasting time thinking about what the best choice is. By having a daily routine to follow, you waste less time having to make a choice and gain more time to be productive.

4. Setup your self for success

To make your daily routine even easier to implement, setup your environment so you can focus on accomplishing what you need to do. An organized space helps in maintaining an organized mind. One of the things you can do is to start decluttering your space. Get rid of the things that you are not using anymore. You can also give them away or sell them. Redecorate your space if you have to. Clear away negative energy to freshen your environment. Prepare the things that you will need for your daily goals. For example, prepare your exercise clothes the night before. It will remind you to exercise as soon as you see them when you wake up in the morning. You might consider decluttering your closet as well.

To maximize your productivity, setup your work space so you have all the stuff you need to use without having to waste time looking for them. Be sure to include the things that you love in your spaces but keep them focused on what the purpose of the area or room is. So keep your computer in your workspace and your TV in the living room. Try not to work in your bedroom so you can keep your room a space for relaxing.

5. Stay in a positive mindset

Making any change in life, small or big, always entail challenges. It can be challenging for you personally to start new habits and replace old ones. The process can also be challenging if people around you, or your environment, is not supportive of the changes you want to make. Making change is always a process of trial and error. Don’t be afraid to fail and learn from them instead. By looking at things from a learning perspective, you can keep yourself in a positive mindset.

It is also helpful to keep a gratitude journal so that you can keep track of the positive things that you are experiencing in your daily life. If writing is not your style, just list down at least 3 things that you are grateful for each day. Or just take the time to sit down and say a prayer or meditate on the blessings you experienced for the day. This is one good habit that will definitely be helpful in how to reset your life.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.

Feb

2021

Signs That You Are Falling in Love

Reading Time: 4 minutes

What are the signs that you are falling in love? When you watch romantic scenes in movies or dramas; you know exactly when the main characters have fallen in love with each other. But if you were one of the main characters, how would you know that you are falling in love? What are the signs?

Here are some signs that might signal that you are falling in love. Remember that not everything may work with everyone. Each person reacts differently to various emotional experiences after all. So check the list and see what applies to you.

1. You can’t stop staring

If you are falling in love with someone; you will find that you can’t stop staring at that person. You just can’t help it. Observe how a mother looks lovingly at their baby. That is how someone looks at the person they are falling in love with. After all, when you are looking at the object of your affection or admiration; staring at them is a natural impulse.

Try to control yourself though. Your constant staring might make the other person feel shy or scared even. So consider the other person’s feelings too.

2. They’re always on your mind

If you can’t constantly stare at them; they’re always on your mind anyway. Most of the time you are wondering what they are doing at the moment. Are they busy at work? Have they eaten? Are they also thinking of you? These concerns may cross your mind several times a day. At other times, you may be thinking where to take them on a date; or what to wear to impress them when they see you next time.

You may end up with sleepless nights or unproductive work days from day dreaming about the person you’re falling in love with. Try to stay focused on what you need to do so you don’t end up getting reprimanded at work or losing sleep.

3. You want to spend more time with them

Falling in love brings about a lot of pleasant feelings and you want to spend more time with the person you are falling in love with. You’re constantly thinking of an excuse to spend more time with them, even if it’s just talking to them. You take the time and energy to plan how you can spend more time with them whether at work or outside of work.

In fact, you will find a lot of reasons, or excuses, to be constantly around them. You can’t help but show your care for them whether it be getting them food when you go for a snack or sitting with them during a break. Just be sure you’re not bothering the person at work by your constant attention.

4. You become open to trying new things

Because you want to spend more time together with the person you are falling in love with; you might find yourself becoming more open to trying new things. Even if you are a little scared or intimidated; you somehow gather the courage to do something you’ve never done before. Like asking them out for example. If you are already dating the person, then you find yourself suggesting date ideas that are unique and interesting just because you want your time together to be a special memory.

Trying new things is always a thrill but make sure you don’t try something that you don’t feel good doing. If you thought at first that you can handle riding a roller coaster but find that you are too scared to even get on it; don’t force yourself. You don’t want to pretend to be brave then end up ruing the rest of the day because you felt sick. However, don’t prevent the other person from enjoying the experience without you. You can always do something else that both of you can enjoy.

5. You don’t mind when they do something unattractive

Most of us idealize the person we admire in our minds. However, when we see them doing something unattractive; we usually lose our admiration. When you are falling in love; you usually end up not minding or not noticing the things that may be unattractive about the person. For example, they might usually look cool in the office but when you see them out of work; they wear clothes that you won’t think of wearing out of the house.

When you are falling in love with a person, you usually don’t notice the small imperfections. You just want to dwell on the pleasant feelings you get when you are with them. This can be both good and bad. It’s good if the other person’s unattractive aspects are indeed minor or just a cute personality quirk. However, if you notice a negative behavior pattern for example; then it’s a red flag that you should take a deeper look at things.

6. You become a little bit jealous

One of the signs that you are falling in love with someone is when you become just a tad bit jealous that they’re focusing their attention on other people rather than on you. Yes, this is childish and bratty. But anyone who is falling in love wants to monopolize the attention of the person they admire, if they can.

It will be normal to feel jealous of their attention towards others and even of other’s attention towards them; but don’t get ahead of yourself. Try to be realistic about the situation or consult a friend who can give you a rational observation so you can calm your jealous heart.

7. You want them to be happy

A sure sign that you are indeed falling in love is when you truly wish for the other person to be happy. This is also why you want to spend more time with them and are always thinking about them. You want to be the one to do things with them and for them that will make them happy. Most importantly, you want them to feel happy when they are with you, just as you feel happy spending time with them. That’s why you also want to find out what makes them feel happy and loved.

You may find yourself making some sacrifices in an effort to make the other person feel happy. For example, you might make the effort to make lunch for them every day or surprise them with flowers just because. You might even find yourself taking time out from your busy schedule to help them accomplish a task at work. Just be sure that you’re show of concern is not being abused and you end up sacrificing what makes you happy instead.

These are just some of the signs that you might be falling in love. What other signs can you think of, or you have experienced, when falling in love?

Feature Image: Original Photo by Alan Quirvan on Unsplash.

Feb

2021

Refreshing Date Ideas for Cheap or For Free!

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Don’t have the budget for a date? No worries! Here are some refreshing date ideas for cheap or for free that you can try.

Staying indoors is always an option with these staycation ideas. Watching movies? Spend on some popcorn and drinks or on other snacks of your choice. One of you got cable? Netflix and chill is definitely a fun option.

A “cheap date” doesn’t have to be a boring or even a negative experience.

No one wants to end up just sitting opposite each other (also called the dinner date) trying to talk. No one wants a date where you end up just sitting beside each other (the inevitable movie date after the dinner). It’s definitely time to try something new. Observing proper etiquette for the new normal when going out for your date is always a must.

Date at the Park

Exploring places near your area is a good way to spend a date without spending too much. Your local park is a good place to start and there are many things you can do. Be sure to check first the park’s opening and closing hours or if they are open at all.

Feed the ducks, the swans, or the fish (whichever animals they have)
Take pictures of things you like and/or of each other
Get a good place to sit and try to sketch each other
Play a board game at any of the available tables and benches (suggestions here and here)
Rent a bike and ride together or learn from each other
Make yourself a couple of sandwiches, bring some drinks and have a picnic
Bring your favorite instruments and practice together or serenade each other
Watch an actual game (e.g., basketball, etc.) or tournament (e.g., chess, etc.) for free
People-watch and make stories of the interactions these persons may have
Watch a concert at the park (usually for free)

Spend Time with Nature

Being surrounded by nature is always a good way to loosen up and get more bonding moments together. Here are some things you can do to get closer to nature and to each other. Time in nature is one of the often taken for granted date ideas that’s cheap or even free.

**Watch the sun set together.**
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from Pexels

Do some gardening together (try out these indoor plants)
Go hiking or trekking at a nature trail near you
Go biking thru a trail or a nearby location
Watch the sunset together at the beach or on top of a hill
Visit a public garden and take pictures
Join a free Tai Chi class (usually held in open, public spaces)
Do a photography walk of a local nature trail
Get out a mat and attempt some yoga moves together
Walk your dogs together

Be Sporty Together

Are you both sporty or just want to flex your muscles? Try out some non-contact indoor sports or check out your local listings for some free classes or fund-raising events where participants can join for free. Or, check out your neighborhood for convenient locations where you can indulge in sports activities and learn more about each other.

**Try wall climbing with your date.**
Photo by Allan Mas from Pexels

Workout together (indoors or outdoors)
Do your yoga (indoors or outdoors)
Go walking, hiking, biking or running
Go roller skating or skateboarding
Play badminton or tennis
Go wall climbing
Learn the hula hoop
Join a zumba class (usually for free, in the park and in some malls)
Make your own kite and learn how to fly one (may not be an actual sport but offers a great workout)
Join a free Tai Chi class (outdoors)
Cheer for your local team during their practice or an actual game

Go on A Cheap Adventure

People watching is the cheapest adventure of all. All you need is someone to talk to as you watch people and the world go by. Been there and done that? Try out these other cheap thrills.

A road trip is cheap and fun. — **A road trip can be a fun date experience.**
Photo by picjumbo.com from Pexels

Volunteer for a cause (bonding moments + giving back = winner!)
Indulge in some art at the local museum (entrance fees are cheap and sometimes free)
Window shopping for the things you both like
Go to an antique store and browse around and maybe learn some history in the process
Go on a road trip with your local bus or jeepney (be sure to pay the full round trip fare) or on your car (check out these road trip tips)
Travel to the next town and pretend to be tourists
Watch a free movie or concert outdoors (check out your local listings)
Watch a free theater play at your local community
Go to a food market and enjoy some of the free taste offers
Go on a food trip of different street foods
Make a small fire outside and admire the constellations

Date at Home

The weather not permitting you to go out for a date? These are date ideas that you can enjoy indoors for cheap or even for free.

**Serenade each other for a romantic date.**
Photo by Mẫnn Quang from Pexels

Cook together (with whatever ingredients you have on hand)
Have a laugh night with YouTube videos
Draw or sketch each other
Get some crayons and/or water colors and learn how to paint
Play board games or video games (be sure to maintain the sportsman’s spirit)
Play a game of darts, pool, cards, etc.
Learn or practice your favorite instruments (and serenade each other)
Compose a poem or song together, or write a story for a play or movie
Get crafty and make DIY projects like repurposing and decorating shoe boxes
Learn crocheting or have fun with origami
Study a magic trick together
Practice a dance routine or sing-along to your fave songs
Plan a trip together (consider these under rated destinations and check out air travel in the new normal)
Make yourselves some great coffee and just have great conversation

Going out has restrictions at this time. Luckily, a virtual date can be fun. There are many online services offering virtual tours and other fun activities that you and your date can enjoy. Be sure to prepare to look your best for this virtual event.

These are just some refreshing date ideas that you can enjoy for cheap or even for free. Whatever your date plans are, be sure that you both have fun.

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 24.10.2018.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash.