life

Jul

2022

Your Mindset Affects the Direction of Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Your mindset affects the direction of your life. It determines your future. Your mental attitude and disposition will lead the way to either your success or failure in life.

Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset

A growth mindset is an underlying belief that you are in control of your destiny. Thus, the power to change things is in your hands. On the contrary, a fixed mindset just accepts what is given. It focuses on what you do not have.

Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? The hare was so sure that he would win that he slept during the race. The tortoise on the other hand, believed that if he worked hard, there is a chance that he could win the race. Despite the odds against him, he was not afraid of failure and tried his best to win the race. Do you remember who won in the end? Was it the tortoise or the hare?

Youtube video by Pinkfong

The hare and tortoise exemplified the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset respectively. Their mindsets ultimately determine their success and failure.

Carol Dweck, a psychologist and researcher at Stanford University, stated that the two mindsets lead to different behaviour and thus different results. In reacting to setbacks for example, a growth mindset sees failure as a way to improve while a fixed mindset will be discourage and ultimately give up.

For example, as a student if you are not good in Math, a fixed mindset will just accept that Math skills are an inborn talent. It is either you are good at it or you are not. A growth mindset believes that the brain can be developed. Thus, even though you are not a Math person, you will try your best to develop your skills. As a result, persons with a growth mindset are more likely to maximise their potential.

A growth mindset is an integral part of a success of an individual.

Scarcity Mindset vs Abundance Mindset

Stephen Covey, in his best-selling book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, defined scarcity mindset as a belief that there is simply not enough for everyone. People with scarcity mindset “see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.“

One indicator that you have a scarcity mindset is if you are sad or jealous if a co-worker gets a pay raise and you did not. It is like a feeling that somebody else got the raise and there is nothing left for you.

If you spend the whole of your pay cheque as soon as you receive it to buy stuffs you don’t even need or to spend it on partying, travelling or any kind of entertainment even though you don’t have enough money is another example of a scarcity mindset. Moreso, if you justify your spending, saying that “if I will not enjoy my life now when I am still young, I will never have a chance later on.” This kind of mindset focuses on short term decisions.

An abundance mindset on the other hand focuses on the long-term. It is a deeper understanding that not having something now does not necessarily mean that you won’t have it in the future. As Steven Covey said, “it is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making.

With an abundance mindset, instead of spending all your earnings now, you would rather invest first and spend later on.

Poverty Mindset vs Millionaire Mindset

A fixed mindset and scarcity mindset are both indicators of a poverty mindset. In the same way, a person who has a millionaire mindset has a growth and abundance mindset.

Your mindset is very important. Your future is dependent on what mindset you have right now. It is crucial in ordinary times, mores when you are faced with challenges. Having the proper mindset especially during a crisis will greatly influence the direction of your life.

What kind of mindset do you have right now? If you want to have a better life, your first step is to change your mindset.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 12.28.2018

Feauture Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Feb

2022

What Makes a Good Life?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Everyone wants to be happy. There is no argument about that. The question is, what will make you happy? If happiness is your ultimate life goal, where will you spend most of your time and energy? Will you focus on gaining financial abundance, good health, strong relationship, successful career or prestige and power? What do you need to achieve to have a good life? A Harvard Study that started in the late 1930s has been examining this question for years now. It is the longest study that has ever been done. So, what makes a good life?

The Harvard Study of Adult Development otherwise known as the Grant Study, had followed 724 men, year after year, from the time they were teenagers, to their marriage and career life all the way to their old age. While the original 268 men were from Harvard University, the remaining 456 men were from Boston’s poorest neighborhood. For years, the men agreed to have regular extensive interviews, together with a series of physical and physiological examinations to determine their physical, mental and emotional well being.

Some of these men became workers and bricklayers. Others became alcoholic and developed schizophrenia. At the same time, a great number of them achieved great success and became doctors and lawyers. One of them even became a US President.

So, what makes a good life? If you think that money, fame and success are the answers, think again. After almost 75 years of research, here are the three big lessons they have learned according to Robert Waldinger, the fourth director of the study:

1. Social Connections are Important to our Well Being

People who have deep connections with their family, friends and community lived happier, healthier and longer lives. Social connections improved one’s physical, mental and emotional well being. People who live in isolation and are lonely often live shorter lives.

2. Quality of your Relationship Matters

When it comes to relationships, it is quality over quantity. It is not a matter of how many friends you have or if you are married or not, but rather it is all about whether you have a healthy relationship with the people around you. The quality of your relationship will determine your quality of life. In the study, the people who are happy and satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.

3. Happy Relationships Protect Both the Body and the Brain

Happy relationships not just protect our physical body but also our mental and brain health. The people who are secure and happy in their relationships remained sharp while the others who don’t have meaningful relationships suffered from memory decline.

Check out this Ted talk by Robert Waldinger for more insights:

Youtube Video Source: http://TED

Do you want to have a good life? Then improve on your social wellness. Invest in the quality of your relationships with the people who are dear to you. Make this your first step towards a better life.

First published May 7, 2020.

Feature Image by Posted by A.L. Jonas in Social, 0 comments

Feb

2022

Health is The Most Important Thing in Life

Reading Time: 2 minutes

When asked what we want in life, we usually have the words “happiness”, “wealth” and “success” in our minds. We often forget that a prerequisite to anything we want in life is good health. We often take our own health for granted. Our physical health is the most important thing in life. It serve as the foundation that allows us to develop the other dimensions of wellness in our life.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
– Josh Billings

Before we can pursue any of our goals in life; it is important that we have a healthy mind and body. We also need a healthy mindset and social life to support us along the way. Of course, we also need to maintain healthy habits to sustain our health. For example, if we have healthy financial habits; we can preserve and grow our wealth so we can do even more of the things we love. When did you last evaluate your physical health?

It is health that is real wealth. And not pieces of gold and silver.
– Mahatma Gandhi

Money can buy a lot of things but health cannot be bought. You should develop habits that help you maintain your health in all aspects of your life. After all, we only have one body and mind. They are what enables us to move and experience this world; and change it the way we want it to be.

Don’t let your health take the backset when planning your goals. Make sure that you observe healthy habits in everything you do. This allows you to be healthy enough to enjoy the success that you want in your life. Not only will you enjoy life more; your family will also benefit from you being healthy enough to celebrate life’s successes with them.

Updated. Previously published on 2020.01.13.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Dominik Wycisło on Unsplash.

Jan

2022

Ways to Regain Control of Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Are you in control of your life? Or is life controlling you? In order to live a meaningful life, you need to be in control of it. Being in control is synonymous with knowing yourself and having a clear idea on what you want in life. Who you are and what do you want to be? It is your life. Unless you are a minor, you are supposed to be the one in charge. You can never really be happy or you may even feel exhausted if your life is being dictated by your environment. So, to help you, here are some ways to regain control of your life.

What does it Mean to Not Be in Control?

Are you a product of your environment? You will know you are, if your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions if you allow external events or people surrounding you control your decisions. For example, you wake in the morning and the first thing that you do is check your social media account. You saw bad news from an article and you let your whole day become affected by it. What happens is that you become reactive to the situation and thus, become a victim of the environment.

Ways to Regain Control of Your Life

Don’t live your life like this. Instead, regain control of your life through the following ways:

1.Step Back

The first step to regaining control of your life is to step back. You are probably lost in living your life that you are living on auto-pilot. Stop for a moment to calm yourself, think and assess your situation. Give yourself time to think about your life in a broader context. For example, you are lost in the forest. You have been walking around in circles for hours and still, you can’t find your way out. The best thing to do is to stop first. Take a rest. Assess your location. Instead of looking at the trees, you need to picture the whole forest to give you a better perspective on how to proceed from where you are.

2. Know What You Really Want

The second step to regaining control of your life is self-assessment. You need to know exactly what you want. Who are you? What makes you happy and sad? What is it that you really want to accomplish in life? You can start by creating your bucket list. Your goals will serve as the roadmap for your life.

3.Rank What Is Important For You

Based on what you really want in life, it is now time to rank what matters most to you. Is it your health? Wealth? Your relationships? Whatever it is you need to be honest with yourself. That’s the only way to move forward. You may not like the answer but it may be something that you have to address first. There are several dimensions of wellness. Rank them according to what is important to you now. Your preference will definitely change later on once you have addressed the more pressing issue.

4. Learn To Say No

When you say no to things, opportunities or requests; what you are actually doing is empowering yourself to make the decision. It means you are very clear on what you want and that you are firm with your preference. In a way, it cultivates a healthy relationship with the people around you. Do not be scared to offend others because you are just being honest. Saying yes too often, even if you don’t want to can lead to resentment. It can also be emotionally draining. This in turn will only hurt the relationship in the long run. And besides, saying no will allow you to have the time to say yes to what’s more important for you.

5.Listen To Your Intuition

Trust your gut feeling. It is when you immediately know something. For some reason, you just know and understand. Sometimes, it does not even make sense. But somehow you just know. That’s your intuition trying to tell you something.

You only have one life. Make it count!

Click here to get a free copy of Regain Control of Your Life worksheet.

Click here to watch the video.

Feature Photo by Bruno Henrique from Pexels

Jan

2022

Warning Signs That You Are Losing Control of Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Do you feel as if things are getting out of your control? Are you worried that your life is not going the way you wanted it to go? If these kind of thoughts are bothering you; then it’s time to take stock of your situation. You need to check if you are just being a worry wart, or if you are losing control of your life. See if any of the warning signs apply to your circumstances.

Lack of Energy or Motivation

If you are waking up in the morning feeling like you’d rather not get out of bed for days on end; then assess your self. Is it because you just lack sleep the nights before? Then, you should start developing good sleeping habits. You should also understand how you can best manage your energy. Are you always late for work because you dread the thought of going out and doing the same thing again? Feeling this way signals a lack of motivation on your part. Maybe you’re dreading work because you’re not enjoying it anymore. Try to see how you can make working more exciting for you. Remind yourself why you are working in the first place. Or, maybe your goals have changed and your current job doesn’t support that. Your job is a major life support system. If you are losing control of your life; then this area is one of the first to be affected.

Constant Forgetfulness

People who are in control of their lives are usually those who are mindful of the things that they need to do, even if they don’t put it on their schedules. These include fully charging your celfone and other devices.; turning appliances on/off when you go out and arrive home; watering your plants, even paying bills before the due date. If you find yourself forgetting things that should be regular habits; then this maybe a warning sign that you are losing control of your life. The small things are often ignored because they don’t seem significant. However, they affect life in a major way when not attended to. A dying celfone battery might cause you to miss out on an important call that could change your life for the better. If you keep forgetting the small things; you might miss out on the big things too.

Feeling Disconnected

You know it’s a friend’s birthday but you don’t greet them even thru a message. You think they have more important friends they’d rather hear from and your greeting isn’t such a big deal. Do you keep turning down social invites (even online ones)? Is it because you feel like you’ll just be a drag to your friends or you won’t contribute anything interesting to the conversation? Then you are not only missing out on a major part of your life. You are also losing your connection with important people. You might want to have more “me time” to sort things out if you are going through a challenging period in your life. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. But if you continue feeling disconnected with the people in your life; it could be a symptom of a bigger problem that you need to focus on to prevent worse consequences.

Negative Thoughts and Expectations

When you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, always anxious, always complaining, and always preparing for the worst in every situation; then there is definitely something wrong. Losing control of your thoughts and emotions are clear warning signs that you are losing control of your life. Being afraid to do something because things might go wrong is not a healthy mindset to be in. Always having negative thoughts and expectations could be a sign that you need the help of other people so you can wade through your doubts and fears. If you can’t love yourself enough to expect good things to happen to you; then good things won’t happen to you. You can’t expect other people to treat you better than you treat yourself. Making a sincere self-assessment will help you regain control of each area of your life.

If you want your life to change; then you need to replace what you usually do with what you haven’t done before. Taking control of your life means making small steps daily to help you reclaim control of each area of your life. Remember though that you can’t control everything in your life. You can only control your self and your own reactions. Your environment may not be under your control as well. It is not your responsibility to satisfy people’s expectations just as not everyone will agree with your thoughts and opinions. The best thing you can do is to focus on your own metamorphosis and work diligently on your own fresh start to a better life.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to guide you in your assessment.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Vesky on Unsplash.

Jan

2022

A Fresh Start

Reading Time: < 1 minute

New Year means a new beginning. It is the time to reflect on the previous year. It is also the perfect time to start life anew. Start the year by taking a few moments to recall the events of the previous year. Sit in a quiet place. Make yourself comfortable. As you look back, ask yourself the following questions:

What was the highlight of the year?
When were you the happiest?
What was your biggest struggle?
How were you able to overcome it?
What lessons did you learn from the experience?
Are you happy with where you are in your life right now?

New Year, New Beginning

After looking back, it is now time to look ahead. The past is the past. You can no longer change the events of the past but your future is still in your hands. The New Year is the perfect opportunity for you to do things differently. It is the time for a fresh start. This year marks the beginning of a new decade. Set some goals in order to change or improve certain aspects of your life for the coming year and the years ahead.

Now, start visualizing. Success always starts with a vision. See yourself in the future.

What do you want to accomplish this year?
How do you see yourself in 5 years? How about in 10 years?
What would your ideal life look like?
What hobbies would you be pursuing?
Is there anything that you want to change or improve in your life?
What do you need to achieve in order for you to consider yourself a success?

Start in redesigning the life that you want. Together, let’s recreate a better, happier, healthier and wealthier life.

Click here to get a copy of the A Fresh Start worksheet.

Click here to watch the video.

First published 01.03.2020

Dec

2021

Questions to Ask Yourself When You Are in A Crossroad

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you have an unsettling feeling that something has to change? Are you suspecting that you are experiencing a mid-life crisis, facing a fork in the road, or stuck in an intersection in your life’s journey? All these phrases are what we use to describe a crossroad in our life. We will all be experiencing a crossroad at different stages in our life.

The 7 Year Itch

Have you ever heard the term, “the 7-year itch”? It is a phrase usually used to refer to the time when relationships are most likely to get into trouble. There seems to be a pattern that things tend to change drastically every 7 years. For example, couples who dated for several years usually end breaking up on the 7th year; married couples end up divorcing on the 7th year, and so on.

This pattern not only applies to relationships but also to larger groups of people such as in business, as well as in our individual journey through life. If you review your life, you will see that things tend to change every 7 years as well. At 7 years old, you go to school with other kids, then at 14 is when puberty hits you. At 21, you graduate from college and enter the work force; then at 28 is when people mostly start thinking about marriage.

In short, life tends to change drastically in some way every 7 years. Thus, you feel an itch to change something in your life every 7 years too. If you don’t change something, then you get stuck in that crossroad and you’ll just prolong your suffering by not relieving that itch to transform your life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you are in a crossroad in your life right now; here are some questions to ask yourself so you can start making some changes.

What aspect in your life do you want to improve on? Maybe there is an area of your life that you have neglected and that you need to focus on. It might be your health or some of your relationships. You might have a hobby that you want to take up again and hone your skills on. Or you might want to ask for a promotion or even make a career change.

What is it that you really hope to achieve? Most of us are too shy to admit it but we all hope to leave something behind for our family, or even the whole world, to enjoy and remember us by. No matter how small or big; everyone wants to leave a legacy that can benefit future generations. You might share the same vision with others and you can work together to build such a legacy.

What are the pros and cons of your decision? Decisions always have its pros and cons. You can consult your friends and family as well as experts for help. Your own life experience will also help you make an informed decision. Take the time to think and determine how much of a risk you are willing to take to change your life for the better.

What are you afraid of? Sometimes the scariest decisions end up the most rewarding. When we face our fears, we open ourselves up to more possibilities. Being in a crossroad gives you the chance to overcome your fears and come out a better person. Get the support of your family and friends, or even professionals, to help you succeed.

What is your instinct telling you? Have you ever experienced having a strong feeling in your gut that’s telling you to do or not do something? If you followed it, you usually end up being right. However, most people ignore their gut feeling, or instinct, or intuition. In fact, it is a useful tool to guide you in making life-changing decisions. A crossroad is an opportunity to start using it.

Will you be harming/offending other people with your decision? We always consider the effects of our decisions on other people. However, you have to keep in mind that you can only control your own actions. You can tell others about your decision so they don’t get surprised later on, but you cannot control their own reactions. There is no need to get into an argument or cut off relationships; you can just agree to disagree on this one point.

Are you worried about what other people will think? You cannot please everyone all the time, so you just have to accept that there will always be negative feedback from some quarters. Don’t take things too personally. Just keep in mind that those who need to understand your decisions will understand and those who can’t understand don’t need to. Focus on your goal and don’t get distracted by gossip or rumors.

How will the change affect your life? You are trying to change your life so focus on the long-term change that this will bring about. Ideally, the effect should be positive and will also affect those around you positively. Of course, you can’t please everyone but if you and the majority of your tribe can enjoy the effects of the changes you are making in your own life; then that should be reason enough to make a change.

Time for Transformation

Asking yourself these questions involves a lot of self-reflection. Pick the one question that resonates with you the most and try to figure out your answer to that. Although you do need to take into account how the change you want to do will affect everyone around you; remember that your own growth is important so you can help others as well. Each of us has our own journey in life so we cannot continue living our life according to the standards of others. Expect that in the process of your metamorphosis; some things will fall away and others will come to replace it. You might need to let go of a lot of things including letting go of friendships and old beliefs.

A crossroad in life is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. If you are feeling the need to scratch that 7-year itch; do so but be gentle with yourself. Change is needed for growth. However, you don’t need to abandon all that you have worked for in the past. Sometimes, a small change will do the trick. For others, a bigger change maybe needed. It all depends on what you are feeling inclined to do. The important thing is that you listen to your intuition, you believe in yourself, and you take action to change something so you are not stuck in the same old pattern.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash.

Dec

2021

Signs It Is Time to Let Go of A Relationship

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Relationships are always difficult to let go of. Sometimes we feel deep regret for leaving behind a person because of all the memories we had with them. It also these memories that holds us back from letting go.

People change and so do their goals; so it is natural that some people drift apart. Although it feels difficult to acknowledge this situation; it is necessary for both of you to accept the situation and to part ways as pleasantly as you can. If you are in the middle of deciding whether you need to let go of a relationship or not; here are some signs to help you choose your way.

You’ve Lost Yourself

A good relationship should be where you can be yourself and act comfortably with the other person. You don’t feel the need to hold yourself back, to pretend or to hide things from them. You enjoy communicating your honest thoughts and feelings with them. If this is not the case, then you might need to reconnect with yourself first. See if this relationship is helping you grow personally too. You might have relegated yourself to supporting your partner’s goals and forgetting your own dreams. This can be a sign that it’s time to let go of a relationship and spend more time getting to know yourself better instead.

You Want Different Things

When you notice that you are not on the same page in your goals and outlook in life; then maybe it’s time to consider letting go of the relationship. People continually grow in different ways. Couples may end up focusing on different goals. Your individual history and life experience influences how you look at the future. If you and your partner’s or friend’s goals are clearly diverging from each other; then it is a sign that it’s time to let go. The separation need not be unpleasant if you can talk about it as honestly as you can. Think of it as both of you taking a different route but you may have a chance to walk the same path again in the future.

You Feel Lonely Even When Together

A healthy relationship is one where both people are happy to share their experiences with each other. If you feel lonely even when you are on a date; then it is a clear sign that there’s something wrong in your relationship. You might both be feeling the same loneliness even when you’re together. Both of you may be unwilling to let go of the familiarity that you feel from each other. You may not be understanding each other’s love language. Some of us might even mistake this feeling as a normal phase and call it contentment, or settling in to the ordinariness of daily life. But if you are not emotionally or even physically connecting anymore; it is time to take stock of why you are staying in the relationship.

You Are Finding Excuses for Bad Behavior

It might be you who is finding excuses to justify your negative behavior; or you are finding justifications for your partner’s bad behavior. If this is the case; then you will end up fighting with each other and alienating yourself from the people around you. You are blinded by the goal of keeping your relationship that you are not acknowledging the things that are not working. Although the thought of “you and me against the world” sounds romantic; it is not a pleasant situation to be in. Finding excuses to explain away bad behavior is like finding reasons to stay in the relationship when it’s clear that you’re not feeling good about being in one anymore.

You Feel Drained of Your Energy

Being in a relationship should be a pleasant experience for both parties, most of the time. There are ups and downs, but you should both be able to boost each other’s energy especially in challenging times. If maintaining the relationship is draining your energy instead; then it’s time to see if the relationship has become one-sided. Are you the only one giving your time, most of the time? Are you constantly worrying about what you can do to ensure that your partner will not leave you? Do you experience sleepless nights overthinking if your partner is cheating or not? If this is how you are feeling day in, day out; then it can be a sign that it is time to let go of this relationship.

People will have different ways to process letting go. Although it is a difficult process; we must accept that not all people who walk into our lives are here to stay. Some of them accompany us for a time to teach us a lesson. This may be by helping us discover our potential or by hurting us so we discover our own weakness and find our strength in the process. Once we accept that “letting go” is a constant challenge that we need to go through in life; it becomes less difficult to process this experience.

Being in a relationship should feel like you are at home, with the person who is most important to you. If this is not how it feels; then it is a sign that it’s time to evaluate. Remember that only by letting go, can we make space in our lives for the things we want. If we keep holding on to things that don’t serve us anymore; then we will not be able to move forward.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash.

Dec

2021

Letting Go: Clearing and Healing Your Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Humans are sentimental beings and because of this; most of us are very bad at the practice of “letting go”. We horde memories, mementos, items, and even relationships because of how they make us feel. Even if some of them makes us feel unpleasant and uncomfortable; we keep them because they have become familiar to us. They have become part of our comfort zone.

However, staying in our comfort zone is not what we’re made for. We have to keep learning by experiencing new things, overcoming challenges, having fun, overcoming our fears, and many more wonderful encounters. This is what our bucket list is for. We should be constantly in the process of transforming ourselves as we work for our dreams.

Why We Need to Let Go

While we acquire things that we enjoy; we also need to let go of things from time to time. Just like a computer; we have a finite space for the things we want to keep. So we need to delete some files that we don’t need or use anymore so we don’t bog down our computer and we have space for updates. Similarly, in our life; we need to let go for many reasons.

We need to clear out old clutter that are only taking up space in our minds and in our environment. This will help us clear a path and space for the things we actually want to keep and the new things we want to have.

Letting go allows us to have a clearer mind so we can focus on what we really want and avoid distractions. It also starts the healing process for old traumas. By letting go of excess mental, emotional, physical, social and environmental baggage; we feel lighter in our mind, heart and body. We get a sense of freedom because nothing is holding us back anymore; or at the very least, our burdens have been lessened.

What and How to Let Go

If you are ready to let go; then take pen and paper and start writing down the things you need and want to let go. To help you decide what things to let go of, consider these criteria:

Things that have served their purpose in your life and are just taking up space.
Things that are holding you back from what you want to do or to be.
Things that you are not aligned with anymore based on your new goals.

These criteria will surely give you a lot of ideas on what to let go. It is helpful to break things down even more by asking yourself some guide questions.

Letting Go from Head to Toe

Start thinking about the things that you need to let go by reviewing yourself from head to toe. Ask yourself some guide questions for each section.

Mind: This is about your mindset, thought patterns, limiting beliefs.

What old thought patterns do I need to let go?
What limiting beliefs do I need to let go?
What things do I need to unlearn?
What materials / media do I consume that I need to stop consuming?

Words: This is about how you talk to your self as well as how you communicate with other people.

What things do I tell my self that I need to let go?
What words should I let go from my vocabulary?
What things do I say to other people that I need to let go?
What books or materials do I read or consume that I need to let go?

Body: This is about your self-image and the feedback about your self that you get from others.

What beliefs and experiences does my body have that I need to let go?
Do I have uncomfortable sensations in my body that I want to let go?
What bad habits does my body have that I need to let go?
What do I use or put on and into my body that I need to let go?

Relationships: This is about your social attachments and the mental and emotional baggage that you are carrying from these interactions.

Do I have toxic people in my life that I need to let go?
Do I have friends who I feel I need to let go?
Do I have work or business partnerships that I need to let go?
Is there a relationship situation that I want to move on from?

Environment: This is about the external stimuli that triggers you and your environment that influences you.

Are there things in my home that have served their purpose and are just lying around taking up space?
Are there things in my space that do not serve a purpose anymore?
Are there items and fixtures in my surroundings that I have an excess off that I need to let go?
Are there spots in my space that feel suffocating or heavy that I need to clear out?

Ho’oponopono: Healing Chant

After you have written your list; take a deep breath and close your eyes for a bit to calm yourself. The next step is to acknowledge the things you are letting go and releasing them back into the Universe. To do this, you can use the Ho’oponopono. It is a forgiveness and healing prayer from Hawaii. The prayer can be long but you can use the brief version as a chant.

I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.

The prayer helps you to acknowledge and be grateful for the lessons and usefulness of the things that have served their purpose in your life. It is also a way to clear your space and your self of unpleasant and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings so you can start healing them. Finally, it helps you to accept things as they are, and to forgive yourself and others from all that has happened so you can move forward.

As you read each item on your list; say the chant for each item. Repeat the process until you have finished all the items in your list.

Releasing Your Self

Once you are done going over your list, it is time to release these old energies to complete the letting go process. A good way to do this is to burn the list and visualize all the feelings in those items being released back to the Universe. This is a signal to the Universe that you have actually let go and you are moving into a new direction in your life. As you watch the list burn, repeat the Ho’oponopono chant again until the list has turned to ashes. Take as much time as you need to bask in the freedom that you feel after this ritual.
Ideally, you should do this ritual outdoors, surrounded by nature. Think, bonfire by the beach. But if this is not possible; it could be as simple as burning your list where you have a view of the outdoors.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to guide you in this process.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash.

Dec

2021

Redesign your Life Through a Bucket List

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Everyone is so busy in modern life. We are always pressed for time. It feels like the 24-hours that we have is never enough to be able to do all the things that we need to do in one day. However, despite our busyness, do you ever feel like you are not really getting anything done? Ask yourself, how many substantial things were you able to accomplish this week, last year or even in your whole life? If you are to die today, will you be able to say that you have lived a purposeful and meaningful life? If you can’t answer the question, it is a sign that you need a fresh start. It is time for you to redesign your life by creating a bucket list.

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What is a Bucket List?

A bucket list is a list of things that you want to do before you die. It can be a list of goals that you want to accomplish, things that you want to achieve, places that you want to go to and activities that you want to experience. The purpose is that when you look back into your life towards the end of your life, you can honestly and happily say that “Yes! I have lived a wonderful life!”

How to Make a Bucket List?

Making a bucket list is quite easy. All you need is a pen and paper or create a new text document. Now, ask yourself the following questions:

What are your biggest goals and dreams?
Are there any skills that you want to learn?

What activities do you want to experience?
Are there places that you want to visit?
If you have all the time and money in the world, what will you be doing?
Are there people that you want to meet?

In short, the list is all about you and your definition of what a fulfilling life is. There is no right or wrong answer. There are no restrictions. Just write what comes to your mind. What is it that you want? Do not be afraid. After all, it is free. But do remember that you have to be very specific. For example, if you want a car don’t just write the word car. Write “a ______ (color) ________ (model) _________ (brand). Don’t be bothered also by the process. Just have fun writing down everything your heart desires.

Bucket List Categories

Now start writing them down. Write as many as you can. Try to write up to 100. Why 100? It is because it will force you to totally visualize the future that you want for yourself. It is To make it easier for you, arrange your list into the following categories:

Goals I Want to Achieve
Things I Want to Own
Places I Want to Visit
Activities I Want to Experience
Skills I Want to Learn
People I Want to Meet
Books I Want to Read
Foods I Want to Try
Questions I Want Answered About Myself

It is understandable that some categories will have more entries compared to the others. It all depends on your values and what’s important to you. However, as much as possible, it would be better to list down more or less an equal amount of entries in the different categories in order to have a well-balanced life. Do take in mind also the different dimensions of wellness. For example, it is useless to have a successful work and career if you have a sour relationship with your family. In the same way, no amount of wealth in the world can help you if you have neglected your health. So, the key in making a bucket list is balance. Remember also that a well-balanced life is the key to your overall wellness.

Redesign your life by creating a bucket list now!

Click here to get a free copy of the bucket list worksheet.

Click here to watch the video.

Image Credit: stux from Pixabay Images

First published in 01.23.2020