language

Oct

2020

Know Your Love Language

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you know what your love language is? We all enjoy romantic movies with happy endings. In real life, this is not always the case. There are many reasons why relationships work or don’t work. One factor is that the couple did not take the time to understand each other’s love language. If you feel unappreciated by your friends then it might just be a misunderstanding of their love language.

What is A Love Language?

A love language is the language we speak or show when we express our love. Love languages are the ways we show our love to other people. This is also the same way we want people to show their love back to us.

Each person has a different way of showing their love. That’s why it’s important that you know and understand what your love language is so you can talk to your partner about it. It is also important that you learn the other person’s love language so you can show your love for them in their own love language.

The 5 Love Languages

There are 5 love languages but each person is inclined to have 1 primary one and 1 or 2 other ways in which they express and appreciate their love. Try to identify what yours is and what your partner’s love language is.

1. Words of Affirmation

If you love hearing compliments from the person you love, then this is definitely one of your love languages. You feel loved when you get messages that say how much they love you or that they miss you. Getting a thoughtful note from them puts a smile on your face and you like doing the same.

However, you might end up annoyed with your partner, or annoying them, if you express your love in this way but they don’t speak this love language. So try to moderate yourself and spend time to find out what their love language is.

2. Quality Time

Maybe you don’t like complimenting or sending thoughtful messages that much but you always give your full attention to the one you love. This doesn’t mean just making an effort to spend time together. Your way of showing love is by giving the person you love your full, undivided attention whenever you are together.

You might like scheduling movie nights at home together with just the 2 of you. When you are talking, you are attentive and actively listening. This also means that you get annoyed when your partner is spending more time checking their phone than paying attention to you. Know what your partner’s love language is. This will help you appreciate how they express their love for you even if you don’t speak the same love language.

3. Receiving Gifts

Most people assume that this way of feeling loved is materialistic but this is not so. The gifts don’t have to be big and luxurious. In fact, it’s the frequency that’s important so even the little things count.

Receiving flowers make you smile. Getting a new basketball or a new exercise band from your loved one makes you feel loved. You also like giving gifts to your loved one even when there’s no special occasion. The gift doesn’t have to be expensive; it can even be silly. It’s just the way you express and appreciate love.

4. Physical Touch

If you’re a very tactile person then this is one of your love languages. You show your love by physically touching your loved one. Stroking your partner’s back while you’re watching a movie, giving them a hug when saying goodbye or welcoming them back home are just some of the ways you physically express your love.

In the same way, you feel loved when your partner offers to give your legs a massage after a long day at work. You feel loved and you express your love with PDA (public display of affection) when you’re out and about. If you find your partner squirming whenever you hug them, then this may not be their love language.

5. Acts of Service

You express your love by doing something for someone. You’re the type who volunteers to wash the dishes if your partner cooked for you. Going to the grocery store, taking out the garbage, doing the laundry are some of the ways you show your love.

So when your partner volunteers to run your errands for you or drives you somewhere during their day off, then you feel very much loved. In the same way, you may feel unappreciated and unloved when your partner doesn’t show acts of service for you.

Know and Develop Your Love Languages

You may think that you do show your love in many ways but you should also learn and know what your partner’s love language is. This way you can show them your love in the way they can understand and appreciate it the most.

Don’t use your love languages as an excuse to not expand your knowledge and skills. You can always learn a new love language so you can express your love in more ways. Don’t wait until it’s too late to express your love for someone. Learning new love languages will definitely open up a whole new world to you. When you’ve mastered all the 5 love languages, then you can speak fluent love. This means you can express your love to more people who speak other love languages.

Feature Image: Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash.

Apr

2020

How to Help Kids Manage Lockdown Stress

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Most government around the world resorted to lockdown to protect its citizens from getting infected with the virus. Although such measures protected your physical health, it gave rise to a different kind of health issue; that is mental health. Mental health is crucial to our overall well-being. It affects our thoughts, emotions and behavior. A study done at the University of Adelaide showed evidence that the one-month confinement measures did affect the people’s mental health. But it is not just the adults who are affected, new data from Hubei shows that children also showed depression and anxiety symptoms. The challenge now for parents is how to help kids manage lockdown stress.

Children are creatures of habits. They take comfort in what is familiar. Children are used to going to school everyday. Now, they are forced to stay at home. The routine had stopped. And this causes confusion. Then, they are restricted to stay inside the house together with parents who are also trying to cope with their own stress, fears and anxiety. So, children take on cues from their parents on how to react to the situation. They know if parents are worried. At the same time, they are trying to understand how the world has changed.

Parents need to take this matter seriously and handle it with care because according to the World Health Organization, most mental health issues of adults begin in childhood. Even if we all go back to normal after the world discovered the vaccine, psychological damages won’t easily go away. This can lead to anger issues, depression, addiction and even suicide if left unchecked.

As parents, here are things that you can do to help your children manage lockdown stress:

1. Keep a Routine

Rather than doing things different everyday, it is better to keep a routine. On school days, there are study time, meal time, play time, TV time and nap time. Continue doing these activities at the same time that they are used to. The study time can further be divided into Math time, Reading time, Art time, etc. You can make use of technology to continue their learning. If content material is not available from their school, there are still tons of available information online.

2. Teach Them the Importance of Hygiene Using Their Own Language

Instead of forcing them to follow you or scaring them that they are going to die if they get the virus; teach them the importance of basic hygiene in a language that they do understand. For example, you can make them watch the Sesame Street Coronavirus special and let Elmo teach them about proper hand washing and use of face mask.

3. Encourage Them To Talk with Friends

Encourage your children especially your teenagers to do group teleconferencing online to stay in touch with their friends . At this point in time, the support and encouragement of friends will do wonders to their mental health. Just make sure that they are really talking with their friends and not some random strangers that they met online.

4. Talk and Play with Your Children

For most children, love is synonymous with time. Now is the perfect time for you to make up for lost time with your children. More than ever, they need your love, support, kindness and strength to help them go trough these tough times. Spend time with them. Play with them. Do activities together like art works, cooking, and baking. You can play board games or video games as family. You can even binge-watch movies with your kids.

Take advantage of the time to get to know and establish an open communication with your teenagers. Establish a connection by knowing about their interests, hobbies, their friends and their dreams. Listen to their music, stories, thoughts and concerns. Do things together. Try not to judge and refrain from controlling them.

5. Create Family Goals

Family goal setting will shift the focus of the whole family from the problems of today to the hope of a better tomorrow. Family goals will make the family closer to one another. It gives you something to look forward to in the future. It is the perfect venue for both parents and children to voice out their opinions, dreams and preferences. Open communication is established. Accountability, responsibility, commitment and group support are also encouraged.

Feature Image by Lisa runnels from Pixabay Images