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10 Toxic People That You Should Avoid

10 Toxic People That You Should Avoid

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Toxins are everywhere – from the food that we eat to the things that we use. They are even in the air that we breathe and the water that we drink. Just like in the food, air and water; they can also be found in the people around you. Daily exposure to toxins is poisonous, harmful and dangerous to the body.  It leads to sickness, diseases and even death if not flushed out from the body. In the same way, that too much exposure with toxic people can affect your overall health, happiness and success. We may not be able to totally avoid it but we can reduce our toxic exposures by doing things like not eating canned goods, avoiding plastic water bottles and going organic. Likewise, we should also avoid exposures to toxic people. But how to identify the toxic people? Here are 10 toxic people that you should avoid.

Generally, toxic people spread negativity. They are highly contagious. They drain your energy. You are better off avoiding them at all cost since they can create chaos around you. If you spend too much time with them, you might even end up like them. Remember, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.

– Mandy Hale

1.The Arrogant

Arrogant persons are people who act superior than others.  They think of themselves as more important, thus, they disrespect and put others down.  They think that their thoughts, beliefs and experiences are way better than others.  Some people become arrogant because of the success that they have accomplished in life.  They want others to appreciate them to boost their self-worth.  On the other hand, for some people, their arrogance is actually a self-defense mechanism to hide their insecurities and inferiority complex.

An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with a person’s main task in life – becoming a better person.

-Leo Tolstoy

2. The Complainer

Complainers are people who think that the world is out to get them.  They perceive themselves as perpetual victims.  They don’t see themselves as negative people, instead they see the whole world in a negative light and they are merely voicing out their annoyance to all the unfortunate events happening around them.  Complainers are people who are looking for understanding, sympathy and emotional validation.

When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it, all else is. madness.

– Eckhart Tolle

3. The Critic

Critics are people who are skeptical about things.  They often criticize and oppose everything and everyone around them.  They will sabotage any new ideas and they will keep you from achieving your highest potential.  Critics are actually people who have a lot of fears in their lives. They don’t have the courage to take risks.  Their statements are actually projections of their own fears and worries.

Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.

– Zig Ziglar

4. The Envious

All persons experience an occasional feeling of envy.  We are after all humans. This emotion arises when we see someone who is better than us whether it be their beauty, intelligence, wealth or success. Envious people however, take their jealousy to the next level. They let their feelings control them to the point that they begin to hate the other person. On extreme cases, they even harm the person they are envious of. This stems from their inferiority complex. They feel worthless deep inside that they subconsciously developed the habit of comparing themselves to others.

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.

– Harold Coffin

5. The Gossipmonger

People who like to gossip derive pleasure in the misfortunes of others. It might be fun and entertaining at first but spreading confidential information and offensive judgements eventually gets tiring and uncomfortable. You will only end up hurting other people. Gossipmongers are persons who are unhappy, envious and attention-seekers. They want to feel superior and better about themselves by highlighting the problems of others.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

– Eleanor Roosevelt

6. The Liar

Liars are people who lie all the time. They believe that they are smarter than everyone else and that their lies will never be found out. It is hard to trust these people because you never know what to believe. Doubt and mistrust will always be present in the relationship. Remember that they never keep their promises. If they lie to you about themselves and about others, there is a big probability that they will lie to others about you too.

When someone lies to you, it’s because they don’t respect you enough to be honest, and they think you’re too stupid to know the difference.

– Unknown

7. The Narcissist

Have you ever had a conversation with somebody whom you can’t get a word in? Narcissist people love to talk about themselves. They think the world revolves around them. They are not concerned about anything else. Narcissists don’t ask questions nor will they ask you how you are doing. Even if they do, they won’t wait for your responses. Professionals argued that a narcissistic personality is linked to a parent-child relationship. They are people who either have narcissistic parents or they received excessive pampering as a child.

The narcissist doesn’t question himself. He never wonders if he is at fault. Why? Because in his mind he is never wrong. You are.

– unknown

8. The Party Animal

It is all right to party, have fun and go out occasionally. The body needs to unwind every now and then to relieve some stress. However, doing it excessively can be disastrous not only for your wallet but also for your health, productivity and overall well-being.  Party animals are sad and depressed individuals. They try to escape the reality of their lives and seek temporary comfort through heavy partying.

IF you want to become a party animal, you have to learn to love in the jungle.

– Kelly LeBrock

9. The Puppeteer

Puppeteers are expert manipulators. They deliberately exploit the other person for their own benefit. Be careful, puppeteers  are disguise as good friends. They are the friendliest, most accommodating and they will flatter you with words that you want to hear. Unfortunately, they are only nice to you because they want something in return.  You will be taken advantage of over and over again as long as you let them control you. They are self-centered individuals whose words and actions are intended to seduce and impress you so they can achieve their aim.

People who feel the need to control others, don’t have control over themselves.

– Unknown

10. The Temperamental

Temperamental persons are persons whose moods change very quickly. One minute everything seems perfectly normal, the next thing that you know that person can turn into a monster. They are very hot-headed and irritable. They are also bad-tempered and moody.  Controlling their own emotions is not their forte.  Being with them will make you the receiving end of their negative emotions. They can even embarrass you in public or worse, they can hurt you. As a result, you will forever be walking on egg shells being around these people.

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.  It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend or new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.  It’s one thing if a person owes up to their behavior and makes an effort to change.  But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries or continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.

– Daniell Koepke

Updated version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 19.09.2018.

Feature Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay Images.

Posted by A.L. Jonas in Social, 0 comments
How To Be Happy in Difficult Times

How To Be Happy in Difficult Times

Reading Time: 3 minutes

This pandemic has caught everyone by surprise. We woke up one day and the world is different. Suddenly, it is like we are all living inside a science-fiction movie. We watch in horror as we see the number of people dying all around the world. What is COVID? How did this thing even happen? And even if we find the vaccine soon, the world will no longer be the same again. As we struggle to adapt to the new normal, another crisis is in the corner – the global economic crisis brought about by this pandemic. It’s not just a health issue now; there is still the challenge on how to survive this economic crisis. In times like this, it is difficult to be happy, much less stay sane. So, how to be happy in difficult times?

Below are some tips on how to be happy in difficult times:

1.Focus on What you Have NOT on What you Don’t Have

What’s the first thing that you do in the morning? if you have a habit of watching the news or checking your social media, then it is time to change your habit. The news will be full of bad things happening around you while your social media will contain things that others have that you don’t have. Instead of that, why not start a gratitude journal and write down at least three things that you are grateful for. By doing this simple thing, you are shifting your focus from the negative to the positive. Then you are starting your day on a positive note. Through this habit, you will be surprised that you can easily find joy in the little things in life.

The earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have, and not obsess about what you don’t have, the happier you will be.

– Amy Poehler

2.Accept Things That You Cannot Change

Many of us gets frustrated with things that are beyond our control. The pandemic, the past and other people are just some of the things that we have no control over. The sooner we accept that we cannot change these things, the sooner we will be happy.

In order to fully accept the situation, you need to go through a process of grieving first. Go ahead, cry your heart out. Feel the sadness and the pain. It’s okay to not be okay for some time. But don’t let it consume you. After some time, you need to start living your life again.

Focus on the things that you can change. You cannot control the pandemic but you can protect yourself from diseases. You may be buried in debt but you can slowly improve your finances through financial literacy. Learn to differentiate the things that you can and cannot change.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

– Reinhold Niebuhr

3. Surround Yourself with Happy, Positive Individuals

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most of your time with? If you surround yourself with positive people, you will also have a positive attitude in life. In the same way that if you spend too much time with toxic individuals like those people who complain a lot, then you will also end up feeling down. Be wise. Be choosy about the people you hang out with.

You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.

– Jim Rohn

4. Find your Purpose

It may sound cliche, but things really do happen for a reason. There is a lesson with all this like how important our health is as well as the environment. The important thing here is to learn the lesson and move on. A purpose will give us the reason to move on. Life is not a steady path, there will always be bumps and obstacles along the way. Having a clear goal, will keep us walking on that path amidst the challenges. So, find your purpose. Unleash the genius within you. Your purpose is always connected with your gifts, talents and passion.

He who has why to live can bear almost any how.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Feature Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay Images

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Finding Joy in This Challenging Time

Finding Joy in This Challenging Time

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It is normal to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated with all the things happening in the world right now. Yes, life is so stressful for many people nowadays. The health crisis is still there. We have not yet fully adapted to the new normal. And yet at the same time, we found ourselves trying to survive this economic crisis that was brought about by the pandemic.

It is okay to not be okay in times like this but to dwell on it for a long time is a different story. We must not fall prey into unending negative thoughts. The only way to counter this is to fill ourselves with positivity by looking at things to be grateful for in our lives. Finding joy in this challenging time is the key to staying positive amidst all of these.

The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.

– Henry Ward Beecher

Finding Joy in the Small Things

As life slows down, let’s take this opportunity to be grateful and joyful for all the small things that we normally take for granted.

1.Waking Up

Did you know that about 150,000 people die each day? This is based on a research that was published in 2017. Today, that number may be higher because of Covid-19. The fact that you woke up this morning alone is already enough reason to be grateful for.

2.Family Bonding Time

We live in a fast-paced life. Most of us spend our time chasing money and growing our careers that we tend to sacrifice our relationships in the process. Then suddenly, the pandemic strikes and we found ourselves with too much spare time. If there is anything that this pandemic gave us, it is the gift of time. More than ever, we now have time for family bonding. Here is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with loved ones and create happy and lasting memories together.

3. Access to internet

A few years ago, unless you have an encyclopedia at home; if you want to learn something, you need to go to the library. Online learning and work from home are unthinkable. Nowadays, everything is just one click away. You can work, study, watch shows, movies and concerts online. You can even contact any person around the world without having to pay exorbitant long distance fees. Regardless of the speed of your internet or the model of the gadget that you are using, be thankful that you now have access to the internet.

4. Time for Self-Reflection

Did you find yourselves questioning your thoughts, beliefs, actions, career and other decisions in life lately? If you did, then congratulations! By asking yourselves important questions about who you are, where you are in your life right now and where you want to go from here is an indication of growth. It is the first step towards self-improvement. Now is the perfect time to look within yourself and find your purpose in life and unleash the genius within you.

5. Your Health

Your heart is beating. You can walk, run and do whatever you want. You are not sick. Aren’t you grateful for your health? You used to take it for granted. You party like there is no tomorrow. But now you know that health is the most important thing in life. You now find yourself, making healthy lifestyle decisions. You can experience the joys of life only because your senses allow you to see, hear, feel, taste and smell the beauty around you.

6.People Around You

Challenges are a lot easier to handle if you are surrounded by people who love you and support you. Be grateful that you have them in our life.

7. Nature

If you have experienced being locked down at home during this pandemic, you probably realized by now how important nature is to our lives. The flowers, trees, parks, mountains and oceans have become places to unwind because of their calming power. Nature has become a sanctuary in this pandemic world.

By finding joy in this challenging time, you are shifting your focus from the negative to the positive. As a result, life becomes not just bearable but fulfilling and amazing.


Feature Image by Larisa Koshkina from Pixabay Images

Posted by A.L. Jonas in Spiritual, 0 comments
How to Build Good Relationships with Others

How to Build Good Relationships with Others

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Healthy relationships are important for our general well-being. In fact, based on the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a good life is all about the quality of relationships we have in our lives. It is not about fame, wealth, power nor prestige. Rather, it is all about the relationships we have build over the years with the people around us. Thus, having happy, healthy and positive relationships with others should be part of our life goals. So, how to build good relationships with others?

Relationships take time to develop. They don’t happen overnight. Your relationships right now not just with your loved ones but to all the people around you are a result of all the energy and time that you have invested in them over the years. It is easy to establish one. However, it takes consistent effort to maintain one.

Whether it is with your family, friends, relatives, colleagues or community; here are some tips on how to build good relationships with others:

1. Accept

No two persons are alike. Each one of us is unique in our own ways. We all have our own thoughts, feelings and opinions. We all have our strengths and our own geniuses. At the same time, we also have our own weaknesses and bad traits. Both the positive and the negative are all part of who we are as persons. Hence, if you want to have a long, happy and positive relationship with someone, you need to learn to accept that person wholly. You need to learn to let go of your desire to change other people. Instead, learn to celebrate each other’s differences.

2. Give Your Time

If there is one thing in life that you can never recover once lost, that is time. Time is precious. That is why the greatest gift that you can give to someone is your time. No amount of money, gifts or words can replace time. Many relationships failed because one person is simply too busy to stay invested in the relationship. Giving them your time means you are giving up a portion of your life for them. Your partner, your children, your parents and your dear friends all need your time.

The greatest gift that you can give someone is your time.

– Rick Warren

3. Listen

When you listen to somebody else talk, you are showing that person that you are interested. It is one way of showing your care. Active listening requires a conscious decision to really listen and hear what the other person is saying.

This desire is one of the most common reason why people go to psychological therapists. Everyone has the desire to be heard. Thus, giving the other person your undivided attention can work wonders in maintaining a healthy relationship with that person.

4. Empathize

Empathy means the ability to understand where the other person is coming from. Unfortunately, not all people are gifted with natural empathy. But the good news is it can be developed. It is normal to disagree with others on many issues such as politics, religion and sports. However, if you want to foster long, lasting relationship with the people around you; you need to learn how to place yourself in other people’s shoes. Understand the plight of others. Remember that every person has a story.

5. Be Kind

Numerous studies around the world reveal that kindness glues married couples together. It is a determining factor of every happy and healthy relationship. What kind of words go out of your mouth each time you talk? How do you talk to others? Not just with the people you love but with your officemates, strangers, helpers, drivers, cashiers and all the people that you meet on a daily basis. Remember to always be kind to everyone.

Launch Challenge

Is there a person in your life right now that you would like to establish or maintain a long, happy, healthy and positive relationship with? Then, accept that person totally for who he/she is. Spend quality time with that person. Listen and empathize to what that person is saying. And most importantly, be kind to that person. Do this consistently for the rest of your life. Sooner or later, you will find yourself having a deep, lasting and happy relationship with that person.

More so, don’t just stop there. Make these traits a part of of who you are as a person. Practice them to all the people around you. And one day when you look back at your life, you will see that your life has been good, happy and meaningful.


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Rules to A Happy Life

Rules to A Happy Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Living a happy life seems like a simple goal but in reality, the journey is quite complicated. Depending on where you are in life; you will have a different set of rules that you follow to you can achieve your goals.

Everyone has their own path to happiness but these 7 rules to a happy life can help you along the way.

1. Be Grateful

Whatever life brings you, it pays to be grateful. Recognize that each experience, each situation that you are put in and each person that you encounter pushes you to the right direction.

It may be in the form of support for what you need to pursue your goals or by teaching you a life lesson that you need in order for you to progress to your next step. A positive experience is just as important as a negative experience to enable you to grow and prepare you for the next stage of your life.

2. Stay True to Yourself

Sometimes, we forget our own goals and dreams because we are programmed to conform to what other people’s standards have of us. We compare ourselves with others and want to imitate their kind of success; forgetting that each person has their own form of happiness, their own measure of success.

There is no one path to happiness or success. Stop comparing yourself to other people’s standards and stay true to yourself. Do what you feel is right to fulfill your own definition of happiness or success.

3. Don’t Lose Your Inner Child

“Adulting” is a popular term that we throw around to describe our daily struggles as grown ups. We feel overwhelmed with adult responsibilities that we don’t make time to “play” as it is not an adult thing to do. However, neglecting time for play depletes us of our creativity and may cause us to burn out at work.

Make time to indulge your playful inner child. Give in to your curiosity; ask about something you are curious about instead of suppressing it so you don’t annoy someone. From time to time, try out new things just because it’s exciting or fun and not because you need it for work.

If you have a passion project that involves harnessing your creative side, pursue it and make time for it even if it doesn’t contribute to your current job. You will be surprised how nurturing your inner child can help you grow as an adult.

4. Appreciate the Moment

Have you stopped and smelled the flowers lately? Have you gone out of your way to just stare at a beautiful sunset until it vanishes from view? If not, then now is a good time to start learning how to appreciate the moment.

Appreciating the moment helps you become more observant of the things around you and being grateful for them. It also makes it easier to notice the good things in any situation, place, thing or even person. This means that you shouldn’t hold yourself back from appreciating someone else and be honest about your praise or admiration.

If you have the urge to just bask in the sunshine in the middle of your walk to your office building, give in and enjoy the feeling of warmth revitalizing your whole body. Just remember to look for a safe spot first and don’t suddenly do it in the middle of the street.

5. Share Your Blessings

When you share your blessings you are blessed in return. Blessings don’t have to be just financial in form. Giving someone your time and effort is a form of sharing. Listening to someone vent out their issues is a form of sharing as well.

Financially, you may not have a big amount in your budget for this but the important thing is to share what you are able. So make sure that you include a “Give” or “Gifting” or “Tithe” portion in your budget. Small acts like giving a tip to a restaurant or a salon staff goes a long way.

6. Avoid the Drama

We see drama all the time on TV and in films that we have grown to expect the same situations in real life. We hear different kind of real-life dramas from the news and even from friends and relatives but we all know that these situations are never pleasant and don’t usually have a happy ending. So how do you avoid all the drama?

Focusing on the positive side of things and being grateful will be helpful in these situations. Staying away from people who bring drama into your life is one of the best ways to keep your good vibes all the time.

Of course, if you can’t help but be involved in drama, don’t forget to take a deep breathe and try to keep a level head and analyze the situation from a practical point of view instead of just reacting to your emotions. This way, you can focus on solutions instead of drowning in all the negative details.

7. Learn to Forgive

In order to make it easier for you to follow the rules outlined above, you must learn to forgive. Forgiving yourself first is the first step to accepting yourself and self-acceptance enables you to move on to the next step to become better.

Forgive yourself for your flaws and wrong decisions in the past. Forgive yourself for breaking a promise or indulging in that food treat that’s not supposed to be part of your diet. The important thing is to pick-up yourself again and continue where you left of or start over if needed.

It also important to learn to forgive others. If you carry grudges with you, it will be hard to be grateful. You won’t be able to appreciate the moment or other people; you won’t be able to indulge in fun times and you certainly won’t feel inclined to share your blessings whole heartedly.

Carrying grudges around certainly puts you in a situation that attracts constant drama and negative vibes. So learn to forgive others. Look at what you can learn from the situation or the person and move on from what happened. Forgiving others does not mean that you need to act like nothing bad happened but it is an opportunity to not dwell on the drama anymore and move forward.


Original photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Posted by H.J. Rangas in Emotional, 0 comments