growth

Jul

2022

Your Mindset Affects the Direction of Your Life

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Your mindset affects the direction of your life. It determines your future. Your mental attitude and disposition will lead the way to either your success or failure in life.

Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset

A growth mindset is an underlying belief that you are in control of your destiny. Thus, the power to change things is in your hands. On the contrary, a fixed mindset just accepts what is given. It focuses on what you do not have.

Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? The hare was so sure that he would win that he slept during the race. The tortoise on the other hand, believed that if he worked hard, there is a chance that he could win the race. Despite the odds against him, he was not afraid of failure and tried his best to win the race. Do you remember who won in the end? Was it the tortoise or the hare?

Youtube video by Pinkfong

The hare and tortoise exemplified the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset respectively. Their mindsets ultimately determine their success and failure.

Carol Dweck, a psychologist and researcher at Stanford University, stated that the two mindsets lead to different behaviour and thus different results. In reacting to setbacks for example, a growth mindset sees failure as a way to improve while a fixed mindset will be discourage and ultimately give up.

For example, as a student if you are not good in Math, a fixed mindset will just accept that Math skills are an inborn talent. It is either you are good at it or you are not. A growth mindset believes that the brain can be developed. Thus, even though you are not a Math person, you will try your best to develop your skills. As a result, persons with a growth mindset are more likely to maximise their potential.

A growth mindset is an integral part of a success of an individual.

Scarcity Mindset vs Abundance Mindset

Stephen Covey, in his best-selling book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, defined scarcity mindset as a belief that there is simply not enough for everyone. People with scarcity mindset “see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.“

One indicator that you have a scarcity mindset is if you are sad or jealous if a co-worker gets a pay raise and you did not. It is like a feeling that somebody else got the raise and there is nothing left for you.

If you spend the whole of your pay cheque as soon as you receive it to buy stuffs you don’t even need or to spend it on partying, travelling or any kind of entertainment even though you don’t have enough money is another example of a scarcity mindset. Moreso, if you justify your spending, saying that “if I will not enjoy my life now when I am still young, I will never have a chance later on.” This kind of mindset focuses on short term decisions.

An abundance mindset on the other hand focuses on the long-term. It is a deeper understanding that not having something now does not necessarily mean that you won’t have it in the future. As Steven Covey said, “it is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making.

With an abundance mindset, instead of spending all your earnings now, you would rather invest first and spend later on.

Poverty Mindset vs Millionaire Mindset

A fixed mindset and scarcity mindset are both indicators of a poverty mindset. In the same way, a person who has a millionaire mindset has a growth and abundance mindset.

Your mindset is very important. Your future is dependent on what mindset you have right now. It is crucial in ordinary times, mores when you are faced with challenges. Having the proper mindset especially during a crisis will greatly influence the direction of your life.

What kind of mindset do you have right now? If you want to have a better life, your first step is to change your mindset.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 12.28.2018

Feauture Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Dec

2021

Metamorphosis

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Change is always happening all around us. The seasons change without us doing anything about it. All of us are in a constant process of transforming ourselves. Have you heard of the saying that each one of us is “a work in progress”? Each one of us is undergoing our own metamorphosis. It is up to us how long it will take for the change to happen and what the end results will be.

In Greek, the word has the following meaning: meta = changing, morph = shape or form, and osis = process of (*membean). Although, it seems to mean just physical change; it can also pertain to a whole lifestyle change. In reality, metamorphosis is a big word for it means a major change in many aspects of our lives. For each individual, it is a process of becoming something or someone else.

The word “meta” also means “with, across, or after” in Greek. It denotes a change of position or condition and seeing things across a period of time. You are seeing things from a different position or perspective. You may only be thinking of your life in terms of a year. Having a meta view of things means that you are now thinking about your life in 5 or 10 years time.

The word “morphosis” refers to the way an organism changes or develops. This means that a metamorphosis is a transformation that happens over a period of time. So, it is not something that is accomplished overnight or a few weeks or months. It takes time. And it can only be done slowly.

Your Metamorphosis

The important thing in your metamorphosis is that you define what you want to become. You get to choose how you want to go about your transformation and the challenges you want to overcome. You are in full control of how you want to change yourself and your life.

What are your goals for your own metamorphosis?
What change do you want to make in your life?
How do you want to implement these changes?
What changes are going on around you right now?
How will they fit in with the kind of life you want to have?

There will be uncomfortable moments as you adjust to your metamorphosis. For example, If you want to gain muscles, you go to the gym to lift weights and get body aches the next day. So, many quit along the way. But for those who persevere, rewards will soon follow. As time goes by, your body gets used to the routine. You are able to lift heavier weights more comfortably and with less pain.

Fully embracing your metamorphosis doesn’t mean that the experience will all be pleasant. A transformation requires “growing pains”. Learn to accept them as part of the process, and they become less painful.

Are you now ready to become the better version of yourself?

Updated: First published on 2020.07.03.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Ravi Roshan on Unsplash.

Aug

2021

How to Turn Pain into Success

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Many of us want to learn how to turn pain into success. There is no shortcut to success. Being successful always entails hard work and a bit of luck. Painful experiences are part of the process to creating a more successful you. However, when you go through challenges in life, such as losing your job or going thru grief; there are some things you can do to turn your pain into stepping stones to progress, and eventually become successful in your goals.

Rest and Assess

Experiencing challenges and pain forces us to stop in our tracks and even rest from our daily routine. This is the best time to get mental and physical rest as well as emotional rest. Your focus at this time should be how to feel better. When your mind and body are relaxed, and your emotions are calm; you are in the best condition to take stock of things. You can make an honest assessment of your current circumstances and how best to change them. Your lowest point in life could be an opportunity to reset your life.

Explore and Learn

The time of pain is a time to help you explore your feelings and learn from them. Dig deep but don’t dwell on blame or on feeling the victim. The important thing is to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you reacted the way you did to a particular person or situation. What triggered your emotions and what could be the cause? Exploring your pain allows you to learn more about yourself. This way, you can get clearer on how you can become better. You can do this with a friend or loved one, in a safe space where you won’t fear being judged.

Create Goals, Not Vices

Sometimes when we are in pain, we want to be alone and we even forget to take care of ourselves. If we dwell on our pain too much without processing them, not taking care of ourselves becomes a habit. Bad habits become vices overtime. This is not a good way to live your life or to heal from your pain. So when you have taken time to rest and reflect; make sure you create goals based on the lessons you learned. This way, you give your self and your life a direction to make progress and grow. Creating goals to move forward is one of the best ways you can turn your pain into a step towards success.

Think Positive, Do Positive

It is important to keep up a positive outlook even in times of pain. Losing hope in yourself and in the future is a dead end. There is always a lesson to be learned, a silver lining to the storm so to speak. Keeping a gratitude journal helps but expressing gratitude towards others for the little things they do for you is even more fulfilling. It is also important to learn to smile, at your self and to others.

The future may be uncertain, but you can be sure that the sun will rise again. Take each day as a chance to start or restart. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, you are a work in progress just like everyone else. The only way to overcome challenges is to keep working on it. As long as you don’t quit, you will find success later on.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash.

Sep

2020

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Reading Time: 2 minutes

People have the tendency to always make themselves feel better, or at least pretend to be better when in front of others. That’s human nature. However, what if you are emotionally bro ken? Is it still okay to fake it when you are breaking inside? Well, life is full of challenges. All our emotional experiences, our pains and failures, are all necessary components for our growth and success. Thus, it is important that we go through them and not avoid them. No matter how painful it is, feeling the emotional experiences is the only way to overcome challenges in life. So yes, it’s okay to not be okay.

DISCLOSURE: This post contains affiliate links.  We earn a small incentive at no additional cost to you when you follow the link to make a purchase.  This will help us be able to continue creating valuable content for you.

Have you seen the Korean drama It’s okay to Not Be Okay? Aside from the stellar performances of its cast, the drama is packed with significant lessons on life and mental health. It’s all about overcoming psychological wounds in order to grow and be truly happy in life.

We all had to go through painful experiences at one point in our lives. In truth, all of us are broken in our own way. What’s important is how we get through the lowest point in life. And the only way to do this is to first feel the pain. Pain is necessary. It is unavoidable. So give yourself time to feel the pain. It can be a day, a week, a month or even a year. No need to pretend that you are okay when you are not.

And then after some time, it is time to let go. That’s the only way to move forward.

It’s healthy to admit you’re not okay. It’s okay not to be okay, it’s brave. But don’t let it win. Be sad. Have your moment, your day or week. Then do something about it and be happy for yourself.
-Jessie J.

Feature Image by Huy Ngan from Pixabay Images

Jun

2020

The Wind Beneath Your Wings

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Our lives are always undergoing change. Change always brings with it some stress and discomfort. After all, change entails that we adapt to new things, new people, new situations. It puts us in a place where we have to go out of our comfort zones. Unless we learn to adapt, we will always be uncomfortable with the changes around us.

When things change, the more you resist, the harder it will be for you. It’s because when things around you change; you need to change yourself too in order to adapt. On the other hand, if you want things around you to change; you need to transform yourself first.

There will be times when the wind beneath your wings blows as a hurricane. That is not time for self pity. It is time to be thankful that you learned how to fly.
— Patti Dawn Swanson, Sierra

In order to change, you will need not only your internal motivation but also external resources to help you succeed. You might need to learn a new skill, seek the help of a mentor or coach, read books, take an online course or watch video tutorials to acquire new skills and knowledge. These are important components that will help you soar into your transformation. They are like the wind beneath your wings that will help keep you afloat amidst the storms in your life so you can come out better than you were before.

Imagine change as a wave of ups and downs that you have to go through in life. Most of us will initially change this downward motion. These are the times when we feel down and even directionless. We often feel anxious and full of worries. It’s times like this when we think that our fears are becoming reality. The present seems out of our control and the future looks bleak and even scary.

Change is like a test or a series of tests. Each test you overcome will help you become the person you want to be so you can live the life you want. Instead of resisting change, recognize that it is an opportunity to better yourself and level up your life. When you take the time and effort to allow for your own transformation; you will find that the world is transformed as well.

Feature Image: Original Image by jakov zadro from Pixabay.

May

2020

Life-Changing Books on Wealth and Success

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Your first step towards wealth is not some rocket science. All you need is to develop some good habits. Habits are things that you continually do on a regular basis. Highly successful people have daily success habits. These habits are what made them successful. So, If your goal is to become rich, you must learn to adopt some rich habits. One of these habits is to read life-changing books on wealth and success.

Tom Corley, author of the bestselling book Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals stated that out of all the habits of the rich and highly successful people, the most significant difference between the habits of the rich and the poor is their reading habits. According to him, about 88% of the wealthy read at least 30 minutes a day while only 2% of the poor do.

The more you read, the more things you know. The more you learn, the more places you will go.
Dr. Seuss

Highly successful people read a lot. Warren Buffet reads 600-1000 pages a day. Bill Gates reads about 50 books a year. Mark Zuckerberg reads a book once every two weeks. These people do not just read anything. According to Tom Corley, successful people read to learn. They read books on self-improvement, success, business and their industries. They also read biographies and autobiographies of other successful people. The poor on the other hand, read to be entertained.

If you want to become rich and successful; begin by reading. Do not just read anything, read books that will help you grow as a person. Through reading financial books, you will be able to learn so many things about money and how money works. A better understanding of money will give you enough tools that can help you make good financial decisions in your daily lives.

Life Changing Books on Wealth and Success for Beginners

There are millions of success books out there. For beginners, I would like to recommend five life-changing books on financial literacy and success. Read them. Study them and apply them in your life. Hopefully by doing so, these books will serve as catapult and inspiration in your journey towards a wealthier, healthier and happier you.

8 Secrets of the Truly Rich by Bo Sanchez

If reading is not your cup of tea, there is no better better way to start developing your reading habits than through this book. Preacher and best-selling author Bo Sanchez has mastered the art of story telling. No long descriptions. No lengthy paragraphs. It is written humorously so there is never a dull moment. This is the best book to start not only your reading habit but also my journey towards financial freedom.

This book is very inspirational. Bo Sanchez challenged some people’s negative beliefs about money. A lot of Christians grew up with several crazy religious beliefs such as the rich cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven and the come what may attitude in the sense that some people rely on God too much and they fail to do their part. For the longest time, people were made to believe that wealth and spirituality don’t mix just like oil and water.

Bo Sanchez wants the people to stop blaming others and instead be totally responsible for your own success. He placed the context of money and success as part of God’s plan. God wants you to be wealthy because He wants you to have the ability to help others. It is difficult to help others if you are poor.

Money is not dirty. Instead, money with the right purpose will do wonders for the world. it also put emphasis on the importance of doing your part as opposed to waiting for God’s blessings to come your way. The road to financial freedom needs commitment. It also involves raising your financial IQ.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

First published in 1938 during the Great Depression, this book is considered to be the most influential book of all time. Its author Napoleon Hill is said to have motivated millions of people into success than any other person in history.

As a journalist, Napoleon Hill was given an assignment to interview one of the richest man in history and said to be the most powerful man in the world during that time, industrialist and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie. Andrew Carnegie refused to directly answer Napoleon Hill’s questions. Instead, he commissioned Napoleon Hill to interview over 500 millionaires to find the common success formula that will help the average person overcome the great economic depression of that time. Napoleon Hill spent 20 years researching and interviewing successful people such as Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, John Rockefeller and Theodore Roosevelt.

If Bo Sanchez was able to convince you to want to become rich, then Napoleon Hill will guide you and give you the initial steps you need to take on how to become successful. According to Hill, success is a product of your mind.

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
Napoleon Hill

You need to know what you want to achieve and be committed in achieving it. Life only gives you what you ask for – whether it be riches, happiness, love and success. The book is basically an account of how to develop the correct mindset to gain success and accumulate riches.

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

The Secret is basically a reinforcement of Napoleon Hill’s teaching on the power of the mind. Rhonda Byrne elaborates on the power of positive thinking. Thoughts are powerful. Just like The Law of Attraction, we attract things that we focus on.We attract positive things when we focus on the positive and in the same way, we attract more negative things if what we only think about is how miserable our life is.

For example, you are going to take an exam. If you are going to focus on how hard the exam will be, you are not helping yourself a bit. Instead of focusing on how hard the exam will be; think of ways to prepare yourself for the exam. Study well so that when the day of the exam comes, you are prepared. By shifting your focus from the negative to the positive, instead of being helpless, you become in control.

Although bombarded by critics because of its metaphysical claims that anything you think about or focus on will come true; in a way, this book actually gives hope to people in hardships and in pain. Instead of dwelling on your pain, Rhonda Byrne encourages optimism and love. Our life is the product of our thoughts. Change your thoughts and you change your life.

All that we are is a result of what we have thought.
Buddha

If your mind is now filled with positive thoughts and you now have a burning desire to change your life as encouraged by Rhonda Byrne, you are now ready for Robert Kiyosaki’s financial management lessons.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

Rich Dad, Poor Dad has been dubbed numerous times as the number one finance book of all time with millions of copies sold. In the book Robert Kiyosaki talks about his two dads who are both successful in their careers. The main difference between his two fathers is that his real father put importance on academic intelligence while his rich father put importance on financial intelligence.

His biological father has a doctorate degree in two prestigious universities in Hawaii. He earned a considerable amount of income in his lifetime yet he was always struggling financially. He left debts to be paid upon his death.

His second father, the father of his bestfriend, never finished eighth grade. However, he was one of the richest man in Hawaii leaving millions of dollars to his family and to several charities upon his death.

The book attracted a lot of controversies because it critiques and enumerates the flaws of the current educational system. Robert Kiyosaki challenges the conventional teachings of middle class family of studying hard to get grades so that you can have a good job, climb your way up to the corporate ladder and save along the way.

Kiyosaki will open your eyes to a world from a different perspective. He stressed the importance of financial literacy by explaining key concepts in finance such as assets and liabilities and passive income versus earned income. For him, it is important that you do not become a slave of money but instead learn how to make money work for you.

The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker

If your are ready for the next level which is to take action, then the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker is the book for you. This book is meant to be applied in your life. T. Harv Eker provides a step-by-step guide in identifying your old thinking and changing it into a millionaire’s mind.

To master the inner game of wealth, T. Harv Eker, suggested several exercises or challenges for you to do in the wealth files. He also emphasized the importance of declarations in changing your mindset. One particular challenge is if you are a complainer, you are not supposed to utter a word of complaint in 7 days. By following the activities, you will slowly adopt the millionaire mind.

One of the most effective ways to change your financial life that the author recommends that you apply in your life is under the wealth file on how the rich handles their money. According to the author, poor people have a tendency to mismanage their money. He recommends using the money jar budgeting system as a a budgeting technique. A lot of testimonies were written on how their net worth improved drastically by simply following T. Harv Eker’s advices.

Other Books on Wealth and Success

Other titles that are worth reading include:

Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
Chicken Soup for the Soul Series by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
My Maid Invests in the Stock Market … and Why You Should, Too! by Bo Sanchez
Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals by Thomas Corley
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Automatic Millionaire: A Powerful One-Step Plan to Live and Finish Rich by David Bach
The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
The Intelligent Investor: The Definitive Book on Value Investing by Benjamin Graham, Jayson Zweig and Warren Buffet
The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason
The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness by Jeff Olson

Your learning journey will open up a whole new world of ideas for you. However, reading is not enough. Remember that you also need to be able to apply these new insights in your life.

Happy reading!

Updated version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living 08.15.2016

Feature Image: Free-Photos from Pixabay

May

2020

Your First Step

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The first step is the start of something new. It signals a fresh start or new beginning. The first step is usually the hardest but once you decide to take it, then you have advanced forward in your journey. You need to take your first step if you want to change your life for the better.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
— Lao Tzu

To change Your Circumstances

We experience many setbacks in our journey through life and we need to take many kinds of first steps to change our circumstances. Taking a first step into the unknown is always a scary experience no matter how many times you do it; but it is necessary to do so in order for us to thrive and grow as individuals.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

To Chase Your Dreams

Taking the first step into an uncertain future can be daunting. It takes courage and belief in our own capabilities and faith that the Universe has our back. Sometimes, it may feel that our first steps lead us to a dead end. It may even feel like the wrong path to our intended destination. However, if we keep on striving, trusting our intuition and holding steadily to our goals; no matter what path we are taken thru, we will surely get to our destination.

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.”
— Chinese proverb

To Move Forward In Life

Our journey may seem like a labyrinth sometimes and we don’t always see the way out. Our destination may sometimes become unclear, obscured by hurdles along the way. But as long as we take the first step and have the courage to keep on moving forward, then we are moving closer to success.

Together, let us take our first steps – even if they are baby steps – to get ahead on our journey.

Featured Image: Original Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash.

Apr

2020

How to Overcome Challenges

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Life is full of of adversities. It is all part of our journey in life. Challenges are crucial for growth and success. Without them, we will never have a chance to improve and become better persons. Conquering them is not easy but it is possible. What is important is the will to find ways on how to overcome challenges.

Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities of a man that would have laid dormant in its absence.
Herodotus

Unfortunately, not all people bounced back. There are those who got stucked in the past. These people tried to relive the pain of the past over and over again. They are not making progress in life. They are also unhappy. You don’t want to be like them.

At the other side of the fence are the champions. They are the ones who survived the adversities that came their way. The challenges that they have encountered in life became their stepping stones for success. They conquered and were able to rise above the storm. You want to belong in this group.

Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.
Roger Crawford

Yes, it is possible to overcome adversities. It is going to be hard. It will be painful and very difficult. You must be unshakeable. You need to persevere. Don’t be discouraged by defeat or failure. That’s the only way to survive and conquer adversities in life.

Here are some tips on how to successfully overcome adversities:

1. Take Responsibility for Your Life

Be responsible for your actions. You are where you are right now because of the decisions that you have made in the past. Acknowledge what happened. Take ownership of your past behaviours. Stop blaming others. Accept the fact that there are some things that are beyond your control. Instead, ask yourself what are the things that you can control and could have done differently. Learn the lesson and move on. The sooner you will take responsibility for your own life, the sooner you can get out of that predicament.

Don’t play the victim to circumstances you created.
Unknown

2. Focus on Your Goals

What do you want to accomplish in life? Many people have a hard time overcoming adversities because they don’t know what they want in life. It is difficult to focus when you don’t know what you want. It is like driving your car without a clear destination. So before anything else, you need to first start creating your life goals.

If you are focus on your goals, you won’t get distracted easily. You will only pay attention to things that will help you achieve your goals. No matter how hard, you will search for solutions to problems.

3. Have the Proper Mindset

Your mindset affects the direction of your life. Whether you become a success or failure in tackling life’s challenges relies heavily on your mindset.

Your mindset is your mental disposition. It includes your values, thoughts and beliefs. It determines how you response to events that happen to you. If you think you can overcome it, then you will. In the same way, that if you think the problem is too big for you to handle, then it is going to be too big for you to handle. That’s why it is very important to have the proper mindset in times of crisis.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.
Henry Ford

4. Practice Gratitude

You need to practice gratitude especially in tough times. Gratitude helps you feel good. It diverts your focus from the negative to the positive. You begin to look at what you have rather than what you don’t have. You will feel blessed. It will become helpful especially during times of anxiety and despair.

5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Have you heard of the saying that “you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with”? The people you surround yourself with has an enormous power to influence your life. They directly affect your mood, mindset, motivation and decisions.

For example, you have decided to improve your wellness. You made a promise to yourself to start eating healthy foods but every time you go out with your friends, they kept on eating fast food. Compare this in a scenario wherein all your friends eat organic and fresh produce. In which case do you think will you be achieve your goals?

The same is true if you surround yourself with positive people. Positive people will support you, encourage you and compliment you while negative people will criticize you and put you down.

6. Be One With Nature

Did you know that there is a new wellness model called Ecowellness? Ecowellness pertains to psychotherapeutic activities that involves nature. You can go to the beach or the mountains, take a walk in the park or do gardening in your backyard. In other words, it is using nature to heal and reduce stress. It is allowing yourself to experience calmness and in the process cultivate deep awareness of one’s self. Before you know it, you will that moment of clarity wherein you will know what to do with the challenges ahead.

Feature Image by Posted by A.L. Jonas in Emotional, 0 comments

Apr

2020

Gratitude in Tough Times: Bringing Light in the Dark

Reading Time: 4 minutes

It is easy to be grateful if everything is doing well. However, the challenge lies during difficult times. It is hard but it is something that we need to learn. To practice gratitude during tough times is the only way to bring light in the dark.

Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight.
– Joan Chittister

Pessimistic. Negative thinker. Sensitive. Prone to depression.

That’s who I was.

There were moments that I will just find myself crying. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just feel the sadness, pain, and rejection and all over me. I’d feel deep sorrow permeating inside me. I would cry and cry until I fall asleep again.

And when I am down. Gee! I was really down. And it would be difficult for me to stand up again and live my life. For weeks, my emotions would control and pull me down.

I am the type of person with a melancholic temperament. For a personality like mine, seeing the positive and being grateful is back-breaking.

I had this tough experience but to this day I am thankful. I had this super difficult boss. No matter how much effort I put into everything I do, it will not be appreciated. If I do well in my work there is no need for appreciation because I was just doing my job as expected of me. Those were his words to me. But when I make any mistake no matter how tiny and insignificant, it is easily noticed. I will be reprimanded immediately even in front of many people.

It was an arduous journey. Pessimistic as I am, if I have collected the tears I shed it would have been an ocean. Even my self-esteem went down.

But later on, I learned a very important lesson.

For you to improve the quality of your life, you must see the blessings. Then you will attract more of the things that you can be grateful for.

I am dealing with this difficult boss but I love my job.

My boss is grumpy at times but I am grateful that I can still smile and influence him to smile.

Although my boss is unappreciative but I am grateful for the people around me who support and love me.

Yes, my boss will easily reprimand me for my mistakes but I am grateful for the many opportunities for me to grow and improve.

So, instead of sulking in negativity and self-pity, I changed my perspective and saw it as a challenge. Instead of the negative, I chose to see the blessings and learned to be grateful with the blessings that I have. I chose to work smarter. By reading a lot of books and attending seminars, I began to grow. I learned from my mistake and improved the quality of my work and my disposition.

And when I decided to change myself and the quality of my thoughts, without me knowing, my boss saw my improvement. He even commended me personally and even in front of others about how I have changed and improved through the years.

Because of that experience, I became a better person. A grateful one at that.

Today, you might not have a difficult boss that you are dealing with but instead you are in a difficult situation. You might be experiencing a grueling trial in life or you might be dealing with a loved one or an officemate who is challenging to deal with. You might have problems with your family, your finances, and your health.

I do not know where you are right now. But remember unless we experience failures and hardships in life we will not truly grow. It is essential for our success so that we may bear fruit.

I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop.
– John 12:24

GOD suffered and died for us. He was crucified and was buried in a dark tomb. After three days, He resurrected.

There might be times in our life where we feel it was dark, hopeless, and it seems that the suffering that you are experiencing will not end. You feel buried in the darkness of hardships, trials and difficulties. However, let us remind ourselves that problems in life are temporary because victory is on the way. Easter is coming.

Let us be persons who will see the good in difficult people. Let us be the kind of persons who will see the opportunity in a challenging situation, and the kind who will appreciate what we have, even in the face of darkness.

It is easy to become grateful when life is easy but being grateful when things are difficult is hard. Let us choose to embrace gratitude to be able to get through the hardships. And in the end, we will come out victorious!

Think of one difficult moment or any problem or any challenge you are experiencing in your life right now. Write down 10 blessings that comes with that problem.

Hazel Atencio is author of the book The Gratitude Habit: How to Change Your Life by Saying Thank You Everyday.

She is a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Electronics and Communications Engineering. When she was still in college, she dreamed of entering the convent to dedicate herself serving to God as a nun. She finds her calling serving God in Bo Sanchez ministries.

Hazel’s personal life mission is to influence and add value to others by bringing out their uniqueness and greatness.

To learn more about Hazel, connect with her via her Facebook page or email her at hazel.atencio@gmail.com.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living in 11.14.2018
Feature Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay Images

Mar

2020

Proper Mindset in Times of Crisis

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone has to go through a crisis in life. It can be the loss of a loved one, a financial issue, a health problem, a conflict with a colleague, a lack of motivation or a pandemic. Whatever it is, it is all part of life. It can lead to despair and anxiety but with the proper mindset and correct strategies in place, you can emerge out of it as a better version of yourself.

DISCLOSURE: This post contains affiliate links. We earn a small incentive at no additional cost to you when you follow the link to make a purchase. This will help us be able to continue creating valuable content for you.

Problems in life are actually opportunities in disguise.

Every adversity is an opportunity for you to change your life for the better. It allows you to figure out what you are capable of. Growth only happens if you successfully navigate through them and learn the lessons in the process. It is going to be tough but it is possible to go through it successfully. All you need is to have the correct mindset.

Your mindset is the way you look at things. You need to believe that you can overcome whatever it is that you are going through right now. Believe in yourself. Remember that your mindset affects the direction of your life.

Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.
– Henry Ford

Here are things that you can do to develop the proper mindset in times of crisis:

1. Acceptance

There are some problems that you can quickly solve but there are others that will be beyond your control. You may feel helpless. You may also feel anguish and pain. That is ok. You just have to learn and accept. Accept things that you cannot change. No matter how much you stress yourself about the situation, you need to move on.

2. Practice Gratitude

The practice of gratitude can help you through tough times. In fact, it is essential. Gratitude will help you look for the silver lining in every situation. Instead of focusing on the negative, gratitude will help you identify and magnify the blessings. It will make you feel optimistic and hopeful because your focus will shift from the negative to the positive. Start your gratitude journal now.

3. Have a Positive Attitude

It is easy to have a positive attitude when things are doing well. It is very difficult to do so when things are tough. Rather, it is much easier to drown in despair and self-pity. No matter how hard, keep in mind that the only road to a better life is to have a positive attitude.

You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you feel and do about what happens to you.
— Harold S. Kushner

Your mindset and attitude about life are both very important. Your mindset will affect the direction of your life whether it is happiness, good health, financial abundance or success that you are seeking.

Change Your Mindset from P overty Mindset to Abundance Mindset

4. Practice Mindfulness

Learn to quiet your mind. Meditate. Find calmness within yourself. The practice of mindfulness helps you deal with the negative emotions like fear, panic, sadness and pain. It is very effective in reducing stress and anxiety. It will also help you get in touch with your inner self. If you need assistance on how to practice meditation and mindfulness, sometimes it helps to seek the help of professionals who can teach you the practice of positive self-transformation.

5. Adopt and Act on The Situation

Instead of waiting for things to be better, do whatever you can to make it better now. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Your future begins today. Get rid of your stubbornness. Learn to adapt to the situation.

Just take for example the COVID-19 pandemic, Wherever you are in the world right now, you are affected. While a great number of people are not infected by the virus physically, the economic and even psychological impact has greatly affected millions of people around the world. You may be powerless to eliminate the problem but you can do something to lessen the impact in your life. You can keep yourself healthy by following the basic rule to combat diseases or do some simple things to improve your finances during a crisis.

If you can follow these things, one day you will be surprised that you have passed the crisis successfully. You have become a better person. You are now more mature to face future challenges.

Feature Image by Motivators world from Pixabay Images