gratitude

Dec

2022

Tips To Finding Your Inner Peace

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Are you feeling restless? Do you feel unhappy? Are you under great stress? Do you have trouble sleeping at night? If you find yourself in these situations, these are all signs that you lack inner peace. Having peace of mind is very important especially in times of distress. Although it is perfectly human to feel worried or anxious at times, what is important is that you don’t let it take over your life. It’s okay to not be okay but to not be okay for a long time is already a cause of concern. So, here are tips to finding your inner peace:

Stress is a choice. So is inner peace.
– Lewis Howes

What Is Inner Peace

Inner peace is a state of calmness within you. It is so important in an individual’s pursuit of happiness and wellness that even the Dalai Lama believes that the attainment of world peace begins with inner peace.

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.
– Dalai Lama

Finding Your Inner Peace

But how to find it? What can we do to achieve a state of calmness within us in a world full of chaos? Well, the good news is that we don’t really need to pack our bags and be a hermit in the mountains. Although having that much needed retreat sounds awesome, it’s not really a requirement. Rather than having that one big escape away from it all; there are actually little things that we can do to achieve peace within us. It is a matter of integrating some small habits into our lives.

1. Proper Breathing

Sounds so simple but how many of us breathe properly? Proper breathing entails that your body, especially your neck and shoulders are relaxed. Your breathing should be controlled and steady. And it should go all the way down to your lungs. It is deep breathing as opposed to shallow breathing. During inhalation, the stomach should be expanding. And during exhalation, the stomach should be contracting; not the other way around.

In any kind of meditation, deep breathing has always been the first step to put yourself in a state of mindfulness.

2. Meditation

Through meditation, you can achieve calmness of the mind. A stress free state of mind can help you calm down and achieve balance in your life. Meditation helps you become aware of your being, of every moment of your existence. It will train you to detach yourself from situations. In the process, it will help detoxify the toxins and negative emotions that you have in your system.

3. Be Mindful

Mindfulness is the art of being in the now. It is learning to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future. No, it will not make the chaos go away but it will train you to refocus your mind to the present moment and enjoy the little things in life.

4. Spend Time in Nature

Being in natural surroundings improves not just your mental health but also your physical health as well. Nature does not necessarily mean going trekking on some mountain. You can actually just take some time to sit in your garden or your local park. You can even just sit under a big tree. If it is not possible, then indoor gardening will do.

5. Practice Gratitude

Life is all about energy. When you are stressed, you are in negative energy or vibration. If you remain in this state for so long, you will be attracting more negative situations and even negative people in your life. The best way to shift your energy is to practice gratitude. Instead of your pain, you are shifting your focus on all the blessings that you have in your life right now. Remember that what you focus on expands. Being grateful will change your energy from the negative to the positive. And because of this, you will be attracting positive things in your life.

Feature Image by Ildigo from Pixabay

Dec

2021

Christmas Gift Ideas for Less

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Need Christmas gift ideas for less? Just a short time before Christmas day is upon us. If you’re still not done with your gift list, you might be stressing out. But all is not lost yet. There are still some gifts that you can make for your loved ones and friends without having to splurge. Some of them you can make at home too.

Your gift doesn’t have to be expensive for it to be appreciated. Personalized gifts are always much appreciated. It gives the gift a sentimental value that commercial items cannot convey no matter how pricey. Here are some gift ideas for less that you can create at home for your loved ones.

Recipe Jars

This is a nice gift for friends and loved ones who love their pancake, waffle or brownies. Just pick a recipe, measure all the dry ingredients and place them in layers into the glass jar. Try to alternate the ingredients in such a way that the colors make an interesting pattern.

Print out the recipe on sticker paper and paste unto the side of the jar. Or print it on cardboard paper and tie to the neck of the jar as a gift tag. You can also use this for chocolate drink mixes or coffee blends.

DIY Kits

Got a family member who loves drawing and coloring? Gather different coloring and drawing materials; a sketchpad, pencils, erasers, a ruler and sharpener. Put everything in a handy file folder that they can conveniently carry with them.

For a friend who loves making her own jewelry, gift them with more beads and trinkets for their jewelry-making collection. You can get them the special beads, or a tool that they’ve been wanting to buy; but just can’t get their hands on. This is one of the Christmas gift ideas for less that’s always appreciated by young students. They are the ones who are passionate about their hobby but can’t afford all the materials.

You can also gift friends with a kit for getting rid of negative energy in their homes and work places. This gift does not only benefit them personally but the people in their space too.

Personal Coupons

If you’re broke but really want to make the effort; then gift your family members and friends with your time and energy instead. This is one of the Christmas gift ideas for less that doesn’t even cost you anything.

Design your own personal coupon stating a service that you will offer for a certain duration of time. For example, you can give your mom several coupons for a neck and shoulder massage for 20 minutes. You can give your dad coupons for washing the car and so on. Give the gift of a memorable experience that you will all recall with a smile later on.

For friends, you can give coupons for accompanying them to shopping errands. They can then claim these coupons any time of the year. Make sure that you state in the terms and conditions that they have to schedule these events with you first.

Use Your Talents

If you’re good at crocheting or knitting; make a scarf, or a beanie, or a pair of mittens, for a good friend or loved one. If you’re good at sketching, drawing or painting, then gift one of your creations to a valued friend.

Got a talent for writing poems? Create one for a special friend and print or write by hand on special paper. It would be great to present this gift by reading it to them aloud. Preparing this kind of gift is a fun process too. Plus, the result can be a very memorable experience.

Are you good with a camera? Take candid photos of your friend, select the best ones and display in a special picture frame. You can also put these in a scrapbook. Label each photo to tell a story about your friendship. Or just showcase your friend’s endearing character or unique personality. You get the idea, so go ahead and start planning for your next creative gift.

Use Available Resources

If you’re not too confident about your talents yet; then the next best thing that you can do is to use your resources to create a personalized gift. Get on your computer and go online.

For a friend who loves their tunes, download them a collection of their favorite songs. Transfer to a USB so they can load it on their laptops and mobile phones. Got a friend or relative who is too busy to take care of putting together a business card? Get your design skills to work and gift them with a simple calling card. Now, they don’t have to write their contact details on a piece of paper whenever they meet clients.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

You know the saying that one man’s trash can be another man’s treasure? If you’ve got stuff just lying around and gathering dust; think of who these might be of more use to and give that item to that person as a gift. Not only will you reduce your clutter, you get to reuse stuff and recycle them for a purpose.

You might have a friend who’s been pining to have a jacket or bag just like what you have. If you’re planning to buy a new one anyway, why not give your old jacket or bag to this friend? You might have a friend who loves your sense of style. If you’ve got a top that you already have several iterations of; why not give away the one you don’t use most often to your friend?

Got an old lamp that you’ve never even used? Check if the bulb still works and replace if necessary. Give to a friend who has just moved into a new house; or who has been wanting to make-over their bedroom. This is another one of the Christmas gift ideas for less that will definitely be appreciated by the receiver.

Give with Love, Receive with Gratitude

These are just examples of what you can do with your skills and talents. Some creative thinking is needed to make a personalized gift that your loved ones and close friends can appreciate. But before rushing for supplies; set aside some time to do some writing. Make a list of what gifts you can create or find in your own home. Think of what gift would suit the tastes and personalities of certain friends and loved ones.

As a last note, some of your friends and relatives might be giving you these kinds of gifts too. Remember to be grateful and appreciative of all their efforts. After all, it’s the thought that counts. Bonus! You can add gift-planning to the list of things you can do for fun.

DIY gifts take time and effort. Because of this, they truly communicate your appreciation for the person you are giving them to. So go ahead and give these DIY gift ideas a try.

Updated. Republished 2020.12.03. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2018.12.17.
Featured Image: Original Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash.

Jul

2021

5 Tips on How To Become More Positive

Reading Time: 2 minutes

What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want a happy life or a life full of pain and sadness? For sure, no one wants to live a life full of drama but the irony is that most people choose drama. Yes, you read it correctly. The keyword here is choose because happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or sad. However, it is easier said than done. What if you are in pain? What if you feel that you are in the lowest point of your life right now? But before you give up, tell yourself not today. Give yourself a chance. Choose to be happy by changing your focus from the negative to the positive. Research suggests that anyone can choose happiness simply by having a positive attitude about life. Here are 5 tips on how to become more positive.

1. Focus on the Good Things

Life will always have its ups and downs. As human beings, it is normal to feel happy, sad, hopeful, excited, frustrated, angry and all other emotions. The important thing is to ask yourself what do you focus on? Do you dwell in your negative emotions? Do you wallow in pain even long after the negative event has happened? Remember that what you focus on expands. If you focus on the positive, you life will become bright and joyful. If you focus on the negative, your life will be full of sorrow and pain.

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment rather than thinking of the past nor the future. The practice of mindfulness has many benefits such as relieving stress, improving sleep and lowering blood pressure. It also improves memories, attention skills and help regulates your emotions.

3. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? If you surround yourself with positive, happy and successful people, you too will be positive, happy and successful. Stay away from negative people if you don’t want to be a negative person as well.

4. Be Grateful

Start a gratitude journal. Always start your day by writing three things you are grateful for. This daily habit will make you feel more positive emotions by remembering all the goods things that happened in your life on a regular basis. It will help you value your relationships more and see your blessings which in turn will lead to a happier life.

5. Help Others

Numerous psychological studies reveal that it is in giving, rather than receiving that we feel longer lasting happiness. Apparently, when we give to others, it activates a region in our brain that is associated with pleasure, trust and social connection. Being generous will make us feel good. So, give yourself the gift of happiness by helping others.

6. Smile

And lastly, don’t forget to smile. Smile even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t underestimate the power of a smile. A simple can do wonders. Smiling can help reduces stress. It helps build confidence. And it also makes you look more attractive. So, smile.

First Published in Pinoy Smart Living on 09.08.2019

Feature Photo by Binti Malu from Pexels

May

2021

Benefits of The Tithe and Giving Back

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Do you know the benefits of the tithe and giving back? The concept of sharing our blessings is a teaching that we often hear as children. Sadly, we do not practice this very much. As we grow older, we don’t often encounter such generosity from other people either. This is mostly due to financial reasons but also due to having a poverty mindset.

In fact, generosity in the form of a “tithe” or a giving fund should be a habit. The tithe should be part of our monthly budget. Here are some reasons why we should develop and maintain the practice of tithing.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Giving is an opportunity for us to share our blessings. It is an act of giving where we are also able to acknowledge and appreciate our own blessings. Whenever we give off ourselves to others (whether thru our time, money or in kind); we also feel a certain fulfillment. We feel an assurance that the world is not so bleak and gloomy after all.

Giving to another also carries with it a wish, a hope. You can even say that giving back is form of prayer. It is a prayer that things will become better for that person or organization that we intended to help out. In these moments, we also become grateful. We are able to be thankful that our own situation is not worse off. We feel gratitude that we are still capable of giving back. This is one of the benefits of the tithe and giving back.

Paying It Forward

The practice of tithing is a way to give back. We do it in exchange for all the kindness and generosity that other people have shown us in the past. It can also be a form of paying things forward. An advance to give thanks for the generosity and kindness of other people that we will encounter in the future. As you give; it gives the recipient the opportunity to grow. They can develop themselves into someone who can be capable of giving back the same way you did for them.

When you practice tithing, the amount you give helps the recipient to expand their options in their own self-development. When they succeed; they will also become capable of giving back to others the same way that you helped them along the way.

Turning Feelings Into Reality

When you are truly sharing your blessings, it should not be with a heavy heart. Tithing is as simple as giving away a certain amount to a charity, a person in need, or even a tip to a kind waiter. You should do so with a light heart and even a smile. If you can do that, then you are truly helping without expecting anything in return. That is how you act when you feel truly “blessed”.

You know that you attract more of what you focus on. If you feel generous, grateful and blessed; you will continue to attract more opportunities that will make you feel this way. Wouldn’t you want to feel this way most of the time, even all of the time? This will definitely help you get out of a poverty mindset.

These are some of the reasons of why you should have a tithe fund. These are the benefits the tithe and giving back. This is the kind of mindset and attitude you should have when giving. The next question is how much to give. In your monthly budget, it is recommended that you set aside 10% of your income as tithe. You will find this recommendation in the Bible as well.

Your tithe fund is where you get money to tip waiters, the stylist and her assistant at your favorite hair salon, the kind taxi driver, etc. This is also where you can take out cash for gifts or when a relative needs to borrow some cash.

Remember that a tithe is different from an offering. You can consider an offering as something extra aside from the tithe.

Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 2019.10.22.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Katt Yukawa on Unsplash.

Mar

2021

Things You Can Do Right Now to Reset Your Health

Reading Time: 5 minutes

There are many things that you can do right now to help you reset your health. Keeping our immune system healthy is our first defense from any sickness. Diet and exercise are not the only factor that affect the efficiency of our immune system.

Maintaining our overall health requires us to live a healthy lifestyle. That may sound like a difficult thing to do and it can be overwhelming. So the trick is to start with the small stuff. Check out some of the things you can do right now to start resetting your health.

Boost Your Water

If you’re the type who keeps forgetting to drink their daily recommended water intake of 8 glasses per day, then it’s the first thing you should do upon waking up. For the rest of the day, aim to drink 2-3 liters a day to boost your body’s hydration. Keep a pitcher of water beside you with a glass so you can drink frequently as you work on your desk.

You can also boost your water by adding lemon slices to it. Infuse your water with the flavor of your favorite fruits by adding fruit slices. Of course, you can also drink some hot tea or fresh fruit juices for added health benefits. This is one of the simplest things you can right now to reset your health.

Stay Off Sugar

Sugar is one of the most inflammatory ingredients that you can eat. Try to limit your sugar intake by avoiding sodas, chips and other processed foods. Sugar is in most of the packaged goods that we often buy in supermarkets and groceries so learn to read the labels. If you can’t avoid it, at least choose to get the item with less sugar. This is one of the most effective ways to reset your health. It might be difficult but it will have a major effect once you implement this habit.

Another way to reduce your sugar intake is to reduce carbohydrates, such as rice, pasta, noodles, crackers, cereals, etc. in your diet. These carbohydrates are easily reduced to sugar when processed by your body. Instead, opt for more complex carbohydrates with more nutritional value such as baked or roasted sweet potatoes, nuts, beans, whole grains, fruits and vegetables.

Eat More Protein

Protein is a more stable energy source that does not cause a spike in your blood sugar levels like sodas can. So try to have a source of protein for each meal throughout the day. More protein in your meal also helps you feel fuller longer so you reduce your hunger pangs. This one of the ways to get optimal nutrition from the food you eat.

Some of the protein-rich food you can add to your diet are beans, legumes, and nuts. You can also keep sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds in your stash so you have some protein to grab when you just want to munch something. Having a bag of these with you while are traveling, also helps you stave off unhealthy sugar cravings. These can also power you up in the meantime ,if you can’t sit down to a full meal yet.

Get More Sunshine

Try to wake up earlier and spend at least 10 minutes outdoors to soak in the warmth of morning sun. We know it gives us Vitamin D but it also helps us calm down and set our mood for the day.

Get your daily dose of sunshine from 6AM to 9AM so you don’t get sunburned. If possible, try to wear clothes that allow you to expose as much of your skin so you can absorb more of it. However, don’t go out in the middle of the day (past 9AM) without any sunscreen as this is not healthy at all. Sunshine is gentler and more beneficial in the early morning hours so aim for that window of time to your daily dose of Vitamin D. This is a habit that you can integrate into your daily routine right away to help your reset your health.

Go For A Stretch

This is best done in the early mornings (and get your sunshine at the same time) or later in the afternoon. Taking a walk or a jog not only helps us stretch some muscles; it’s also a good way to calm down to start our day or to wind down to end our work day.

Walking or jogging can help you fulfill your requirement of at least 10 minutes of exercise daily. If you’re an active exercise, then this can be part of your warm-up or cool down routine. If you can’t go out to do this, then gentle exercise like yoga is a good alternative. You can also try out more active forms of movements that require much equipment such as pilates, barre or HIIT workouts.

Get More Sleep

You can’t wake up early if you can’t sleep properly. It’s important to schedule a time to unplug and wind down after a day’s work. This is signaling your body to prepare for sleep. So turn off your social media apps at least an hour before your sleeping time.

What else can you do to ensure better sleep? Don’t drink water 3 hours before your sleep time so you don’t interrupt your sleep to empty your bladder. Don’t eat foods that are too stimulating so you can fall asleep naturally. Sugar and caffeine are stimulants that you should avoid in the evenings. Also, stretching is a great way to help you normalize your sleep cycle and get a deeper sleep. So do some stretching before bed as well.

Start A Journal

We often think of a journal as a diary of our most private thoughts and secrets and it can be that. But there are some types of journals that we can use to helps us organize our life and maintain our mental and emotional health (read: keep our sanity). All you need is a notebook and a pen to start journaling.

Start a bullet journal to help you schedule your day. Each morning or the night before, sit down and jot down your tasks for the day, for the week even. This way, you can go through your daily tasks with a sense of purpose and not just to get through the day. At the end of the day, you can review what items you have completed. Having a sense of accomplishment is a great way to feel good about your day. Another journal you can do at the end of the day is a gratitude journal. You can do it as a list or write an essay of the things you are grateful for this day. Counting your blessings helps keep you in a positive mindset so you can go to sleep in a lighter mood. Journaling can help you organize your mind right away so you can feel motivated to reset your health and work on your other goals.

Self Care Time

Throughout the day, we may feel the need to take a breather from all our chores and work tasks. Don’t feel guilty about it or think of yourself as selfish for taking some time out to just be alone with your thoughts or to do something on your own. We often forget our own needs and wants to make time for other people. So develop the habit of giving yourself some loving throughout the day.

You can enjoy your favorite food and savor the moment. Be mindful of it’s taste and textures so you can appreciate the moment more. You can give yourself a hand massage and do it slowly; savoring each comforting moment. Sometimes, we just want to sit down and not think of anything. Take 10 minutes to meditate. Just close your eyes and focus on your breathing. If you are doing this at work, set a timer so you don’t end up neglecting your work. If you’re at home, you can take the time to read your favorite book, make some art, indulge in a hobby, water and talk to your plants too.

These are just some of the small things you can do right now to reset your health. Start with one and tailor it to your daily routine. You will find that you feel better as the days go by; not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash.

Feb

2021

Change Your Poverty Mindset To Wealth Mindset

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you want to become wealthy? The key to wealth is to master the wealth mindset. The difference between the rich and poor has nothing to do with the amount of money that they have in the bank; rather, it is all about their mindset. Your mindset is your set of beliefs and attitudes about certain areas in your life. If money is your concern, then chances are you have symptoms of a poverty mindset. You need to be able to change your poverty mindset to wealth mindset.

Your first step towards financial prosperity is to break out from your poverty mindset. Having a poverty mindset is ruining your chances of success. It is not yet too late to change your life for the better. Once you have the correct mindset, you can slowly rise from whatever position you are in right now in your life.

Here are ways on how to change your poverty mindset to wealth mindset.

1. Have a Grateful Heart

Did you know that about 150,000 people die each day around the world? That number is even greater now that we are in the middle of the pandemic. The fact that you woke up this morning is already one big reason to be grateful for. I’m sure if you take a closer look in your life, you will find so many simple things to be grateful for,

Unfortunately, most people take their blessings for granted. Everyday life is full or worries, challenges and busyness. In the midst of all that pressure, it is very easy to forget to be grateful.

I remember a story told by preacher and best-selling author Bo Sanchez in one his weekly prayer gathering called The Feast.

A woman approached him complaining how everything is wrong with her life. Here is how Bo Sanchez replied.

Bo asked, “Do you have cancer?”. The woman replied saying “no, I don’t have cancer”.

Bo then asked, “Is your husband having an affair?”. The woman laughed saying “no, my husband is ugly. The only two persons in this world who likes him is her mother and me.”

Bo then asked, “Is your child a drug addict?”. By this time the woman was laughing, “no, Bo. My child is only three years old.”

The woman then proceeded to explain that she is having problems with her boss at work.

Then Bo answered by saying that “It is not true then that everything is wrong with your life. Only a small fraction of your life is not doing well.”

This story is a classic example of how a poverty mindset works. People who have poverty mindset focuses on the negative aspect of their life. In order to be happy and to grow, you need to focus on the positiv e. Be grateful to all the blessings in your life. Always start your day by thanking God for all His blessings. Be thankful also to the people around you have always been there for you.

2. Spend Time with People who have a Growth or Millionaire Mindset

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? Your mindset is a product of your environment. If you have a poverty mindset, chances are the people around you have the same mindset. In order to grow, you need to get out of your circle. It does not mean ditching your old friends, it only means that you should spend more time with awesome positive people. If you spend too much time with negative people doing meaningless things, you will never get anywhere.

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
– Proverbs 13:20

3. Set Goals

When was the last time you set a goal for yourself? Setting goals will make you look at things in the long term rather than the short term. A millionaire mindset looks at things in the long term while a poverty mindset looks at things in the short term.

What you should do is to imagine yourself in the future living the life that you want. What will your spring day be like? Discover where you want to be in one, five, ten or even twenty years from now. Remember that success always starts with a vision. Then, write them all down in paper. Read them everyday in the morning to remind yourself of what you want to achieve or better yet, have a vision board. A vision board will inspire you and keep you motivated to achieve your dreams.

Setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible to the visible.
– Tony Robbins

4. Refrain from Speaking the Poverty Language

How many times have you said the following statements?

“I cannot afford it.”
“That is only for the rich, not for us.”
“We don’t have money.”
“I can’t do that.”

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
– Lao Tzu

Be conscious of the words that come out of your mouth because your words are simply a manifestation of your thoughts or your subconscious mind. Speaking the poverty language indicates that you have a negative state of mind regarding your situation. If you want to get out of your situation, you need to get rid of the negative, only then can you change your future.

5. Educate Yourself

For most people, education ends the moment they graduate from college. If you are one of these people, this is probably one the biggest mistake that you can do in your life. Continuous learning is an essential strategy for your success. Education does not not necessarily mean that you need to go back to school to get your Masters or PHD. There are many ways to learn. You can attend training or seminars, read books or simply have a mentor.

For starters, do you have idols? Who among the successful people out there do you wish to become? Then, study those people. Study their lives, their values, their life strategies. Find out what they did in order to get to where they are now. Their stories will definitely inspire you.

By educating yourself, you are improving your skills. You need better skills to be more qualified and successful in whatever field you are in right now. For example, if financial freedom is your goal, have you studied about money and how it works? If not, how do you expect to gain financial freedom if you don’t spend time learning about money?

Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field.
– Brian Tracy

Follow the steps above and you will just wake up one day with a different mindset. However, this is not a one day to do list, it is something that you have to do on a daily basis.

Good luck!

First Published in Pinoy Smart Living on 09.04.2018

Feature Image by Alexas Fotos from Pexels

Jan

2021

How to Move On In Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Almost all of us are wondering how to move on in life after the challenges we’ve been thru. Most of us end up lost and clueless after difficult times. We are usually uncertain of what our next steps should be. Life goes on but we feel stuck instead.

While we may not be in our best shape after going though life’s trials; we still need to do what we can to move on and get closer to the life we want. Here are some tips to help you get a move on and away from a negative life experience.

Accept and Be Thankful

Accepting that a situation is what it is should be your first step to moving on. That means accepting the fact that you and the other people involved made mistakes; that the situation maybe irreparable; and that it will take some time to mend each other’s hurts and clear up the situation.

Stop day dreaming about what could have been or the what if’s. Accept the fact that this chapter in your life is now a permanent part of your history. But remember that this chapter does not define your whole life. You can close this chapter whenever you want to.

Acceptance also means that you acknowledge your own flaws and mistakes but you don’t dwell on blaming yourself or the other parties. Remember that you are more than that one broken piece of you. Instead, you should use the situation to learn life lessons. What did you like and did not like about the persons/situation? What can you do next time to avoid the same issues? Take stock of what this person or situation has taught you and be grateful for it.

Being accepting also means that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t pretend like you’re okay. Cry if you have to; get a friend to whom you can rant to. Write a letter that describes all the gory details while you’re crying instead of bottling up your emotions. Just don’t send it to anyone though.

The point is to feel what you need to feel so that in the future, you can be more aware when a situation has taken a wrong turn; and that is, when you start feeling the same emotions again. Take the time to purge yourself of your negative emotions or to rechannel it. But don’t dwell too long in that negative space. Learn to forgive yourself and promise to do better.

Give yourself a day or two; then take a deep breath and take the next step on how to move on in life. This step is based on your own personal circumstances so it will be different for each one but the next tip should help.

Re-Invest in Your Self

Most of us forget to take care of our selves in our pursuit of success and happiness in the different areas of our life. One of the best things you can do for your self after a challenging life experience is to re-invest in yourself.

Take stock of your own self value. We often forget our own value as we try to please other people in our lives; be it our romantic partner, our work colleagues or boss, or even the expectations of our family members.

You have invested so much of your time and energy into other things that you might have forgotten to give your self some love. Now is the time to indulge in self-care practices to show yourself some love. This is also one way to start your own healing process.

Remember what you were passionate about as a child. As a child, what were your dreams then? What are you good at doing or making? What qualities do you like in other people?

Learning the wonderful things about yourself helps you to identify the qualities that you also value in others. This is what you can share with other people and what other people appreciate about you. We often forget these wonderful aspects of our personalities as we adjust our attitudes and behavior to blend in with our community and environment.

Remembering what makes you who you are and what you can offer to the world will not only boost your sense of self-worth and confidence; it will also help you to figure out how you can utilize your unique talents and abilities to transform your self into the successful person you’ve always wanted to be.

Focus on Change

The time after a storm is when you can see a clearer picture of what you can do and what you can change to transform things for the better. The same is true for personal challenges. When the storm of your life has passed, take stock of what you can do at the moment to change things and improve your situation. You can begin again.

Focus on what you can control. You can’t control what other people think, feel or do. So focus on what you can do on your own to start making change. Now that you have decided to close this chapter; it is the perfect time to start planning out the rest of your life.

Go back to your vision board; consult your bucket list. Review your goals and see which ones you still want to pursue and which ones to discard.

Define what success means for you. Plan out some fun times in your life. Envision the kind of people you want to hang out with; the relationships you want to have. Write down your ideal life story. Break down your goals into measurable chunks. Finally, outline the small steps that you can start working on to start making the change you want.

Of course, planning out the rest of your life will take more than a day. Taking the time to clarify what is important to you will be worth it in the long run. You are building the foundation for the rest of your future so don’t rush through the process. How you want to live your life is your personal responsibility so step up to the challenge.

Most importantly, be consistent in showing up for yourself and doing your best. Believe in yourself and trust that the Universe has your back.

Feature Image: Original Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash.

Jan

2021

10 Symptoms of a Poverty Mindset

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Do you have a rich or a poverty mindset? Did you know that a poverty mindset can lead to financial scarcity? Yes, our belief about things can influence our decisions and behavior about money. Thus, if you want to have financial abundance, you need to start with your mindset. So, how do you know if you are suffering from a poverty mindset. What are the 10 symptoms of a poverty mindset?

Half Full or Half Empty

Look at the featured image above. Do you see the glass as half full or half empty?

Some of you will probably say it is half full while some will say it is half empty. Your answer will depend on your attitude and perception of reality.

It is amazing how a single photo can be perceived in two completely opposite points of views. This simple test is actually used by psychologists to determine whether a person is an optimist or a pessimist.

Why is our perception so important? It is important because it will affect how you live your life.

Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think.
– Gautama Buddha

Our mindset greatly affects the direction of our lives. It influences our happiness, health, relationships and yes, even our finances. The financial gap between the rich and the poor is not because of the money, neither is it because of level of education, nor any other external factors; but rather it is all because of the difference in mindset.

So, if you feel like you have been working so hard all these years and yet you are being held back, maybe you are suffering from a poverty mindset.

10 Symptoms of A Poverty Mindset

To verify if you really have a poverty mindset, take a look at the following symptoms and ask yourself if you have it in you or not:

1.You Complain A Lot

You complain, complain, complain and complain. Did you know that complaining is the worst possible thing that you can do to yourself? When you complain, this means you focus on the negative aspects of your life. You focus on your problems when there are in fact a lot of things to be grateful for.

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
– Oprah Winfrey

Your mind is like a magnet. What you focus on expands. If you focus on the negative, more bad things will happen in your life.

2.You Play The Blame Game

You blame your parents. Sometimes, you blame your siblings. At work, you blame your boss or your employers. You also blame the government. At home, you blame your spouse. Some even blame their genes. You practically blame anything and everything around you. It is always somebody else’s fault but you. You refuse to take responsibility for the undesirable things. That’s a poverty mindset.

Many people who always blame the government for their situation. Yes, that may be true. After all, governments are far from perfect. However, how come there are people who became very successful in the same environment? The difference lies in the mindset. You can either play the blame game all you want or you can begin to take responsibility in your life and do something to change your situation.

3.You Believe You Are Always Right

Do you love saying “I told you so“? Do you always have to have the last word? If you answer yes, then you are a narrow-minded person. A narrow-minded person is a person who is not open to new ideas. They believe that their opinion is always right. You will never win an argument against this kind of person. If you are this kind of person, then that is another symptom of a poverty mindset.

To become successful, you need to accept that you don’t know everything. You need to be open to new ideas and embrace new ways of thinking.

The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.

– Socrates

4. You Won’t Invest in Yourself

You have money to spend on travels, gadgets, clothes and entertainment but you don’t have a budget to spend on further studies, seminars or even to buy a book. Some argued that they simply have no time. All those things are just mere excuses. What people do not realise is that the greatest investment that they can do is to invest in themselves. Your future is largely dependent on your willingness and ability to invest in yourself.

For example, if you work in a company and you think that your salary is very small, then ask yourself this question, is there someone else in your organization that is earning more than you do? Then why do you think the company is paying that person more? The answer is simple, most of the time, your compensation is based on your knowledge and skills. You want to earn more? Then invest in yourself.

5. You Believe is That Money is the Root of All Evil

If you believe that money is the root of all evil and all rich people are greedy, then you are already unconsciously derailing your way to success. These negative beliefs about money are products of your environment. If people around you believe in this idea, then your belief and value systems were definitely influenced.

For the record the bible verse where this belief system originated did not state that money is the root of all evil.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
– 1 Timothy 6:10

The verse clearly states that it is not money per se that is evil but rather it is the love of money that is the root of all evil. Money is nothing but a tool. Money can also be use for the good of others.

6. You Avoid Your Finances

Do you know your personal net worth? Your net worth is the amount of everything that you own minus everything that you owe.

People who have a poverty mindset avoid looking at their finances or they simply don’t bother at all. Some people are even scared of looking at their monthly credit card statements. If you are scared to take a closer look and examine your finances, then that’s a symptom that you have a poverty mindset. You are scared to face reality. You keep on buying stuff you do not need and you don’t want to pay attention to where your money is going.

You need to keep track of your personal cash flow. You can only improve your financial situation if you are fully aware of your present financial situation to begin with.

7.You Focus on the Now

What are your plans 5 years from now? How about 10 to 20 years from now? If you have no idea how to answer these questions, then that is another symptom that you have a poverty mindset.

You put importance on the short-term rather than the long-term. You want everything now without considering the future consequences. You have no plan for the future. A financial goa l should be a must for everyone.

8.You Have All the Latest Trends on Credit

Take a look at all your possessions. Do you own the latest gadget? Are you a walking advertisement of signature brands? If you can afford it, then that’s a different story. However, if you have been using your credit card to pay for the purchases in monthly installments, then you have a problem. If you are this person, then that’s another symptom of a poverty mindset.

Spending on things will only make you feel better temporarily. Remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone. Don’t be so concerned in showcasing your wealth to people you don’t even like.

9.You Focused on Me, Myself and I

A poverty mentality focuses on getting rather than giving. If you are not willing to do anything for anybody without receiving anything in return, then it is a sign that you have a poverty mindset. You always think of yourself first. You always look into what’s in it for you.

For example, in business, are you more concerned about how much profit can you make rather than how much value you can add to your product or service? In a relationship, are you focused on what your partner can do for you rather than what you can do for your partner?

You need to give first before you can receive. That is the law of the universe. The most successful businesses in the world gave value to consumers first before their businesses grew.

10.You are A Consumer Rather Than An Investor

A few days before your salary, you are already thinking about what you will buy. You prioritise spending rather than investing. You spend first and save whatever is left behind. Most of the time, there is nothing left to save. So basically, you work to spend. All wealthy people save first before spending.

If you score 0 to 2, congratulations! You have a wealth mindset. It is just a matter of time before you become wealthy, if you are not one yet.

If you score 3 to 5, you are not yet there but you are on your way to overcoming your poverty mindset. Having the correct mindset is your first step towards financial freedom.

If you score 6 and above, that is a clear indication that you have a poverty mindset. Fortunately, mindsets can change. You need to deliberately immerse yourself on a growth mindset on a daily basis. That’s the only way for you to change your financial situation.

Edited Version. First Published in Pinoy Smart Living on 08.07.2018

Feature Image by Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

Jan

2021

How to Not Get Stuck in the Past

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Last November of 2018, Ariana Grande’s single, “Thank U, Next” broke records when the single became the most streamed song with almost 50 million streams in the first week of its release. The song garnered much attention because the singer publicly revealed her past. In the song, Ariana said that each time a relationship ends, she felt pain but at the same time she is grateful because of the lessons that she learned from each one. She knows that all those past experiences will help her somehow with her future relationships. She is now a better person and a stronger one at that because of what she had to go through. More than simply controversial and entertaining, the song has a valuable lesson. That is, how to not get stuck in the past.

Bad things do happen in life. Things don’t always come our way whether it is our career, business, health, family, love or relationships. It can be very painful especially if we did our very best to make it work. Some people get stuck and allow the hurt from past experiences to continue to hurt them. However, not moving on can only succeed in jeopardizing future happiness. After whether we like it or not, life goes on.

Here are some tips on how to not get stuck in the past:

1.Learn from the Past

Have you ever wondered why we have to take up History in school? That is because history gives valuable lessons. Learning from past mistakes will allow us to grow and not repeat the same mistake over again. Even the COVID-19 pandemic has lessons that we can apply to make our lives better. Learn the lesson, no matter how painful so that you can start to move on.

2.Be Grateful

Yes, it is possible to be grateful even in tough times. Be grateful for the experience. It may sound cliche but challenges are blessings in disguise. Whatever it is that you had to go through was really meant for you to grow and become a better person. Moreover, by being grateful you are shifting your focus from the negative to the positive. A positive attitude can help ease the burden that you are carrying.

Thank you, next.
– Ariana Grande

3. Forgive Those Who Wronged You

When you forgive someone, it does not mean that you are condoning the wrong things. It does not mean forgetting and reconciling with the other person.What it simply means is that you are now releasing and freeing yourself from the anger, resentment, guilt and other negative emotions. This will do wonders to your emotional state and general well-being. The act of forgiveness does not only pertain to other people but also yourself. You need to learn to forgive and love yoursel f.

4. Make Clear Goals

You will forever be stuck in the past unless you are very clear on what you want and where you want to go. Start by redesigning your life through a bucket list.

5. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Did you know that success happens outside of your comfort zone? Your comfort zone is your safe place. Since you are comfortable in that place, there is really no room for growth because there is no need to. Stepping outside of your comfort zone means doing new things that you are not comfortable with. You will need to learn new skills and adapt to a changing environment but there will be transition and growth in the process. It is similar to a caterpillar undergoing metamorphosis. Don’t remain a caterpillar all your life. Find your genius zone and be a beautiful butterfly.

6. Remove Toxic People From Your Life

Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with? Your thoughts, beliefs and actions are highly influenced by the people around you. Thus, it is important to choose the people you spend most of your time with. Remove negative people from your life. Spend time with positive and supportive individuals instead.

7. Believe in Yourself

Fear is crippling. It can hold you back in life. That is why it is important to learn how to overcome fear. Conquer your fears by trusting yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust that you can do great things.

In short, allow yourself to feel the pain then move on. Don’t dwell on it. Get yourself ready for the next adventure.

Updated version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 11.17.2018

Photo by Rodolfo Clix from Pexels

Dec

2020

Give Thanks in Advance

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The end of the year can be a great opportunity to give thanks in advance for the things you want to manifest in the new year. Before we turn over a new chapter in our calendars; let’s reflect on our goals and decide what wishes we want to fulfill in the future. This is one of the ways that you can have a healthy, fresh start for the new year.

Reflect On Your Goals

The first thing to do for this challenge is to sit down and review the past year. Review the goals you had for this year. How far have you come in your current goals? Are you going to continue on with some goals? Decide which goals are still worth pursuing. Recall the lessons you learned for this year. Do you have new goals? Which areas of your life have you lacked focused on this year? Try to create goals for that area that you can work on for next year. Take your time to meditate on this topic for awhile so you can do a deep reflection.

Make Your Wish List

The next step is to list down your goals. Try to categorize them according to the different areas of your life. Essentially, you are creating a bucket list of the things that you want to accomplish in the new year. Make sure that you follow the SMART method when creating your goals. This way you can measure your progress more easily.

Give Thanks in Advance

Finally, say thanks for your goals. Write down a “Thank You” statement for each of your goals on strips of paper and store it in a jar. You can also do this on a sheet of paper or on your gratitude journal if you want. The aim of this activity is to give thanks for your wishes in advance in order to manifest them faster. Try to visualize how it feels when your wish has come true as you say your thanks. If you prefer, you can also do a vision board.

Of course, you still have to work hard for you wishes to come true. But by saying “Thank You” in advance, you are giving a signal to the Universe that you are ready to receive the manifestation of your wish. It also rewires your mindset for success. Remember the mind-body connection? If your thoughts already anticipate your wishes coming true; then you will be in the mood to physically act on your goals.

As we welcome the New Year, the real challenge starts. Try to adopt an attitude of gratitude for the blessings you receive daily even as you work hard to achieve your goals. This will help you to maintain the positive vibe that will keep you always ready to receive blessings. It will also help you to attract even more blessings.

Reflect, Say Thanks, Repeat

Keep your wish jar or wish list in a safe place at home or in your room. You can also have your family put in their wishes in one jar. At the end of the year, take out the wish jar or wish list. Read them and see which ones have come true. You will be surprised at how much you have to be grateful for. You may end up saying thanks for more than what you wished for. Then, say your thanks for your fulfilled wishes and repeat this challenge for the next year. ‘Till then, let’s keep smiling to welcome the new year and each day of the year.

Featured Image: Original Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.