faith

Apr

2020

Gratitude in Tough Times: Bringing Light in the Dark

Reading Time: 4 minutes

It is easy to be grateful if everything is doing well. However, the challenge lies during difficult times. It is hard but it is something that we need to learn. To practice gratitude during tough times is the only way to bring light in the dark.

Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight.
– Joan Chittister

Pessimistic. Negative thinker. Sensitive. Prone to depression.

That’s who I was.

There were moments that I will just find myself crying. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just feel the sadness, pain, and rejection and all over me. I’d feel deep sorrow permeating inside me. I would cry and cry until I fall asleep again.

And when I am down. Gee! I was really down. And it would be difficult for me to stand up again and live my life. For weeks, my emotions would control and pull me down.

I am the type of person with a melancholic temperament. For a personality like mine, seeing the positive and being grateful is back-breaking.

I had this tough experience but to this day I am thankful. I had this super difficult boss. No matter how much effort I put into everything I do, it will not be appreciated. If I do well in my work there is no need for appreciation because I was just doing my job as expected of me. Those were his words to me. But when I make any mistake no matter how tiny and insignificant, it is easily noticed. I will be reprimanded immediately even in front of many people.

It was an arduous journey. Pessimistic as I am, if I have collected the tears I shed it would have been an ocean. Even my self-esteem went down.

But later on, I learned a very important lesson.

For you to improve the quality of your life, you must see the blessings. Then you will attract more of the things that you can be grateful for.

I am dealing with this difficult boss but I love my job.

My boss is grumpy at times but I am grateful that I can still smile and influence him to smile.

Although my boss is unappreciative but I am grateful for the people around me who support and love me.

Yes, my boss will easily reprimand me for my mistakes but I am grateful for the many opportunities for me to grow and improve.

So, instead of sulking in negativity and self-pity, I changed my perspective and saw it as a challenge. Instead of the negative, I chose to see the blessings and learned to be grateful with the blessings that I have. I chose to work smarter. By reading a lot of books and attending seminars, I began to grow. I learned from my mistake and improved the quality of my work and my disposition.

And when I decided to change myself and the quality of my thoughts, without me knowing, my boss saw my improvement. He even commended me personally and even in front of others about how I have changed and improved through the years.

Because of that experience, I became a better person. A grateful one at that.

Today, you might not have a difficult boss that you are dealing with but instead you are in a difficult situation. You might be experiencing a grueling trial in life or you might be dealing with a loved one or an officemate who is challenging to deal with. You might have problems with your family, your finances, and your health.

I do not know where you are right now. But remember unless we experience failures and hardships in life we will not truly grow. It is essential for our success so that we may bear fruit.

I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop.
– John 12:24

GOD suffered and died for us. He was crucified and was buried in a dark tomb. After three days, He resurrected.

There might be times in our life where we feel it was dark, hopeless, and it seems that the suffering that you are experiencing will not end. You feel buried in the darkness of hardships, trials and difficulties. However, let us remind ourselves that problems in life are temporary because victory is on the way. Easter is coming.

Let us be persons who will see the good in difficult people. Let us be the kind of persons who will see the opportunity in a challenging situation, and the kind who will appreciate what we have, even in the face of darkness.

It is easy to become grateful when life is easy but being grateful when things are difficult is hard. Let us choose to embrace gratitude to be able to get through the hardships. And in the end, we will come out victorious!

Think of one difficult moment or any problem or any challenge you are experiencing in your life right now. Write down 10 blessings that comes with that problem.

Hazel Atencio is author of the book The Gratitude Habit: How to Change Your Life by Saying Thank You Everyday.

She is a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Electronics and Communications Engineering. When she was still in college, she dreamed of entering the convent to dedicate herself serving to God as a nun. She finds her calling serving God in Bo Sanchez ministries.

Hazel’s personal life mission is to influence and add value to others by bringing out their uniqueness and greatness.

To learn more about Hazel, connect with her via her Facebook page or email her at hazel.atencio@gmail.com.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living in 11.14.2018
Feature Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay Images

Feb

2020

Fundamentals for Success from The Winners Manual

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Do you consider yourself a winner in life? If you’re not that confident to answer “Yes” to this question, then you may be struggling with some issues in different areas in your life. There is no one rule book that we can consult on how to succeed in life and this is because each person’s experience is different. However, there are some fundamentals for success that we can apply to get better in each area of our life, so that when we look back, we can say that we’ve had more wins than losses.

Jim Tressel is an Ohio State football coach and through the years he has learned a lot of life lessons from working with different people on the team, from the players to the staff. The nuggets of wisdom he gained from his experience is shared in the book The Winners Manual: For the Game of Life.

The book is given to everyone on the team and even if the lessons are gained mostly from his experience coaching a football team, the lessons are applicable even to regular 9-5 workers trying to be “adults” in dealing with life’s hurdles.

First, Jim wants everyone to focus on 2 major goal areas:

Your Purpose

This includes your personal/family, spiritual/moral and caring/giving aspects of your life.

Many people often grow up defining themselves by what they do (e.g., their job title) and in the process of pursuing success in their career, they end up forgetting who they are. If you cannot find or define your life’s purpose, then you will never find success or happiness, and never feel like a true winner in life even if you achieve your goals.

Your Goals

This includes matters pertaining to strength/fitness, family, academics/education and career.

Whatever your specific goals, you must view this in the context of your entire life and should be aligned with your life’s purpose. It is hard to get motivated if you don’t have a purpose.

Your purpose is your inspiration and your goals are your motivation. However, there is a huge difference between the two. While inspiration helps you think and create, motivation gets you moving to make things happen.

Spend some time to think about your purpose and goals. It helps to write things down and when you are ready, you can study how to apply Jim’s 10 fundamental for success to win at life.

1. Attitude

There are 3 types of people: 1) those who make things happen, 2) those who watch things happen, and 3) those who say: “What happened?”.

Attitude is a choice so you need to choose which one you are going to be each day. You can choose to live your life as a celebration or as a chore. An attitude of gratitude is one of the best attitudes to adapt as it is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time.

If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies within yourself.
– Tecumseh

TIP: Keep a gratitude journal. Each day, write down at least 3 things that you are grateful for. Count your blessings daily and you will notice that you will have more things to be grateful for as each day passes.

2. Discipline

Discipline is often seen negatively – as punishment for bad behavior, when in reality, it is something that is helpful to us. Discipline prepares us and keeps us focused on our goals.

You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days that you feel good.
– Jerry West

TIP: Remember that practice makes perfect. Do it right, do it hard and then do it again. When it’s time to practice, focus on the practice. You should be confident enough in your skills and be tough enough to follow through.

Whether you are practicing a sport or trying to write a novel, it’s the discipline to constantly show up and do the work that allows you to correct your mistakes, polish your moves so you can deliver and perform perfectly whenever you need to.

3. Excellence

Strive to deliver excellence each time. In competitive sports, it isn’t good to be good from time to time. You need to deliver a good performance every day in order to be considered great

If you listen to your fears, you will die not knowing what a great person you might have been.
– Robert H. Schuller

TIP: Consistency is the true test of greatness. It takes discipline (constant practice) to turn a violinist into a master, a student into an expert, you get the drift?

More importantly, our intentions have a great impact in determining how we reach our potential. So your intent to be excellent should be reflected in your performance. Your number one intention is to seek excellence in all phases of your life.

4. Faith and Belief

All champions believed in themselves even if no one else did and that’s how they motivated themselves to become great; and that’s how they ended up inspiring others in return.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

TIP: It helps to write down your dreams. Unless you write down your dream or vision, you can’t start planning how to achieve it.

So write down your dreams, describe it, make a collage out of it and make sure to consult it everyday as a constant reminder of why you are working hard each day. More importantly, don’t be the first one to doubt yourself when your plans don’t go the way you wanted to. Instead, focus on finding a solution.

5. Work

Work is a lifelong pursuit so you better do it passionately. Not everyone can love their work but with a good work ethic, you will increase your opportunities to gain success.

Everyone has a plan until they are hit.
– Evander Holyfield

TIP: Persistent effort is key to success. You only fail when you quit. Remember that failing is an event; failure is a temporary status and you can always turn it around as soon as you succeed. So don’t be put down by obstacles and see them as opportunities to better yourself instead.

6. Handling Adversity and Success

The road to greatness is never easy but if we face our struggles with an attitude of learning, then the adversity we experience can become our stepping stones to success.

Success is a lousy teacher. It makes smart people think they can’t lose.
– Bill Gates

TIP: Embrace the struggles as much as the successes. Your struggles should help you build strength of character, and this is what can elevate your good performance into greatness. Handle adversity as a learning experience and learn from your success as well. Both are opportunities to improve yourself and fine tune your plans to reach your goals.

7. Love

You won’t win in life thru talent alone. Just like in winning championships, you need love and discipline. If everyone in the team loves one another, then they will strive to not let one another down. This works in any relationship, be it you and your partner, your whole family, your friends and even work mates.

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: what are you doing for others?
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

TIP: Do not hesitate to help others succeed. When you help someone else succeed, you get closer to your own success.

How you treat others who can do nothing for you is how you show your love towards your fellow man. In your own relationships, you can only survive tough times by being tough yourself and the only way to do that is to give and receive love from those around you.

8. Responsibility

There are different areas in your life where your individual conduct is not just attributed to your own self but reflects on a larger group of people such as your family or the organization that you work for. So take care to be responsible in all your actions as you may also affect the reputation of other people.

The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.
– Japanese Proverb

TIP: Associate yourself with good people. By good people, we mean people who have a “do what’s right” mentality. These are the people who will help you conduct yourself responsibly in the different areas in your life. They will be the people who will push you to live a life with a clear conscience.

9. Team

Although your own life purpose and goals is yours alone, most of our life endeavors is a group journey. That’s why unselfishness and team work are important qualities to succeed in life.

There is no delight in owning anything unshared.
– Seneca

TIP: Be in service to others. Unselfishness is one of the greatest quality of great teams as this enables each person to work for the good of the greater whole. This means that each person is willing to listen to others and in this way each one is able to influence the others positively.

10. Hope

Have realistic hope both for your goals and for your team (family, friends, etc.). It is ok to indulge in wishful thinking once in a while but unless you put your faith to work, you will not achieve success.

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
– Orison Marden

TIP: Be a dealer of hope. When people around you are losing hope, they become susceptible to criticism and their own doubts. Lead by example and show them that hope is still alive. It may not be in the form you initially “hoped” for but it may take form in another opportunity disguised as an obstacle. When you keep hope alive, you will see good things happen in your life and in the people around you.

Do you think you can apply these rules to the different areas of your life? If you have been practicing some of them, or all of them, tell us how it has helped you achieve success in the different phases in your life.

Original Photo by Razvan Chisu on Unsplash