emotional support

Signs That Someone Needs Help

Signs That Someone Needs Help

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The past year has been hard for a lot of people. The pandemic has affected not just the physical health of millions; but its devastating effect has reached even the social, mental, emotional and even financial well-being of the people. Kudos to those who are able to overcome the challenges that these past few months had brought. Unfortunately, not everyone was able to turn their pain into success. Others are still navigating their way out while a few might really be having a hard time. How to spot those who are still struggling? For all you know that are just around you and waiting for you to save them. Here are signs that someone needs help:

1.Emotional Outbursts

You are having a conversation with somebody. Everything was normal until he started getting angry and started shouting. This kind of rapid change of behavior characterized with strong uncontrolled emotional and exaggerated feelings are what you call emotional outbursts. A normal person generally can control and regulate intense emotions especially if in front of many people. If the emotional outbursts become frequent, it is a sign that that person is struggling.

2.Insomnia

Insomnia is having trouble sleeping at night. It is also considered insomnia if one wakes up several times at night. Although there are times wherein insomnia is caused by an underlying illness or as a side effect of medications, more often than not, insomnia is due to stress. If the insomnia has been going on for weeks to the point that it is already interfering with daytime activities; then it is a sign that it is already a cause for concern.

3. Lost of Interest in Activities

A common symptom of depression and mental illness is anhedonia. Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure especially even after doing things that the person used to enjoy. It is a state where nothing feels good anymore. If you know someone who lost interest in things that they used to enjoy a lot, chances are that person is struggling.

4. Persistent Feeling of Sadness

It is normal to feel sad every now and then. After all, we are all humans. Thus, it’s okay to not be okay. The problem lies when the feeling of sadness becomes a mainstay. That is already not okay. If you know someone who is like this, that is a clear sign that that someone needs help. The same is true with persistent and excessive feelings of fear or worry.

5.Physical Changes

Do you know of people who stopped taking care of their personal appearances? A decline in personal grooming and hygiene are symptoms of a person struggling. If you know someone who exhibits these symptoms, please be aware that that person may be struggling.

6. Social Withdrawal

Social withdrawal is avoiding people or social gatherings. There are individuals whose personalities are really introverted and shy. So, it is normal for these persons to not socialize a lot unless really needed. What is alarming if social withdrawal happens to those people who were not like that before. The change of behavior is normally a sign that that person is going through a lot mentally and emotionally.

7. Unexplained Sickness

Do you know of someone who always complains of body aches and pain yet the doctor can’t seem to find an underlying illness behind it. Actually, one of the manifestations of depression is physical pain without an obvious cause. It is not because “they are all in your head” but rather depression and other mental suffering can really cause the pain.

8.Weight Changes

Food and mood normally are associated with one another. The food that you eat affects your mood. In the same way, if people are depressed they have the tendency to overeat because food provides a sense of comfort while others won’t have the appetite to eat at all. Either way, weight changes.

Be observant to the people around you. They may need you now more than ever. If you notice these signs recurring over and over again, then it may be an indication that professional help is needed.


Feature Photo by SHVETS production from Pexels

Posted by A.L. Jonas in Social, 0 comments
Stop Saying “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”; Say This Instead

Stop Saying “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”; Say This Instead

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Grief is always a complicated process and its effects are different for each individual. Consoling someone in grief is also a delicate situation. Just saying “I’m sorry for your loss” doesn’t really help that much to alleviate the person’s pain.

There are reasons for not saying this phrase to a grieving person and some suggestions on what to say instead.

Why We Shouldn’t Say “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”

Grief needs more than a cliche

Family members hearing “I’m sorry for your loss” from so many people doesn’t alleviate their pain. It only keeps hammering them about the painful situation that they are in. This provides no consolation at all. It is the most common response to this kind of situation; so much so that it almost loses its sincerity. It has become a programmed response. Painful situations like the death of someone important in a person’s life need more than just a cliche.

It supports the wrong mental programming

Saying “I’m sorry for your loss” also evokes the wrong mental programming by tiptoeing around the subject of death. When you tell someone that they have lost something, it acknowledges that the matter is a personal experience. It also avoids the actual situation. When someone losses something, it usually means that the person did something or did not do what was needed, which resulted in the loss. The real situation is that they are grieving for someone else who died. They will always have regrets; whether they did everything they could, or missed out on the opportunity to express their love and care for that person. Saying the cliche phrase only takes them away from the real situation and does not help in their healing process.

What We Should Say Instead

There are alternatives to the cliche that would be more helpful to people who are grieving. These responses are clearer. They focus on the actual situation of someone dying. The good thing is, they provide the grieving person the support they need to process their situation.

“I’m so sorry to hear about [name of the person who died]. I’m sure you’re going to miss her/him terribly. How are you holding up right now? / What can I do to help?”

“I’m sorry that you are suffering right now. I will be here with you and will help you anyway I can. Is there anything you need right now?”

“I’m sorry for the challenges that might lie ahead of you but I’m here and willing to help you. Would it be okay with you if I call you up next week to check in with you?”

“Please accept my deepest condolences. I can’t imagine what you must be going thru right now but I know it must be very challenging. If there’s anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“I know there’s nothing I can say right now to make things better. I know talking about it will help so don’t hesitate to call me if you need to talk to someone.”

Sometimes, a few words and a hug is all it takes to express our support.

“I know it’s hard…” is a good way to start communication with an aggrieved person as it acknowledges their current situation.
“Let me help” is a very supportive way to show someone you are willing to help them to process their pain.
“I’m here for you” is a powerful way to assure someone that you will support them during this challenging time in their life.
“You have my heart and support” tells the grieving person that you resonate with their suffering and are willing to share their burden.

All these alternative phrases acknowledge the situation while providing the grieving person the go signal for processing their grief. Supportive words like these allow for the grieving person to feel supported instead of being isolated by those around them. This helps make the grieving process an easier burden to bear and leading them to the healing stage much faster.

One thing we can do to lessen the grief when times like these come, is to make sure that we do all we can to cherish our loved ones while we still can. When we know in our hearts that we showed and expressed our love for our loved ones as best we can while they were still alive; we will have fewer regrets. Then facing their death and healing from the experience should also be less harder.


Updated. First published on Pinoy Smart Living on 07.13.2019.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash.

Posted by H.J. Rangas in Social, 0 comments