adapt to change

Jan

2022

Crossroads: Making Life-Changing Decisions

Reading Time: 3 minutes

My friends and I recently had an encounter with a black butterfly. The butterfly stayed with us for quite some time before flying away. Out of curiosity, I researched what it meant. Many people believe that a black butterfly is a sign of bad omen. But contrary to popular belief, a black butterfly is actually a symbol of rebirth, transformation, transition and new beginnings. When my friends and I saw the black butterfly, we were at crossroad, making life-changing decisions in our lives, careers, family and relationships.

Transformation

Butterflies undergo metamorphosis in their lives. They were not born with such beauty. As caterpillars, they have long and worm-like bodies. Caterpillars wrapped themselves in cocoons in order to become the beautiful full-winged creatures known as butterflies. In order to become butterflies, caterpillars had to fall apart and die first. Butterflies need to undergo a very painful process before they can fulfill their purpose and become the best versions of themselves. And this is the very essence of life.

As individuals, we all need to undergo transformation in order to fulfill our purpose in lives. Unfortunately, the transformation process is not easy. Challenges are needed for growth and success. Everyone wants to become happy and successful, but how many are actually willing to change? In order for our circumstances to change, we must be willing to change the way we do things and change ourselves in the process.

We can’t continue doing the same things and expect different results.
– Paulo Coelho

Crossroads in Life

Crossroads are all about change. It is about making choices. In a a way, it is an opportunity to choose between different possible paths that you can take in your life. The choices can be equally good and exciting or can also be very painful. Whatever choices that are right in front of you, making a choice can be quite scary because change is scary. That is why many people remain stuck at where they are in their lives because of fear.

Whether you are contemplating on leaving your job, changing careers, migrating to a different country, getting married or ending a relationship; whatever life-changing decision you are trying to make, it is not easy. Crossroads decisions are hard. They are difficult because it involves changing the direction of your life. Although it is a natural part of life, there are instances that it is forced upon us by uncontrollable circumstances.

So, what to do when you find yourself at a crossroad?

1. Accept What Is

Do not resist. You are at a crossroad because it is life’s way of telling you to rethink the direction of your life. Are you on the right path? Open yourself up to the signs around you. What is life telling you? Move with the changes instead of going against them.

2. Trust Your Instinct

An instinct is a feeling inside you that only you can experience. Trusting your instinct means trusting yourself. Sometimes, we spend too much time asking other people’s opinion and trying to adhere to the status quo when in fact deep inside you, you already know the answer. Just learn to believe in yourself and what you can do and accomplish.

3. Act on It

Once you have made the decision, now do it. Make the leap. It is useless to decide on your head alone. Your decision must be coupled with action. Whether it is right or wrong, only time can tell. Every decision has no guarantee. There is no such thing as a win-win situation.

4. Give Yourself Time to Grieve

Big changes are not without pain. There will be a feeling of loss. It’s okay to not be okay for some time. Give yourself time to cry your heart out. One day, it will all pass. You will start feeling better.

5. Surround Yourself with your Support Group

Find your support group. The people around you will help you get through it. They play an important role in your overall recovery. Their emotional support can help you reduce stress.

6. Look Forward to New Beginnings

The best way to move forward is to dream again. Visualize what your whole new world will look like. This is the time to create new dream s and goals. Dream big. Rather than looking at the past, focus your attention on your future happiness and success. Embrace the changes.

Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.
– Tony Robbins

Click here to get a free copy of the Crossroads worksheet.

Click here to watch the video.

Feature Image by Pexels

First Published 10.24.2020

Dec

2021

Questions to Ask Yourself When You Are in A Crossroad

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you have an unsettling feeling that something has to change? Are you suspecting that you are experiencing a mid-life crisis, facing a fork in the road, or stuck in an intersection in your life’s journey? All these phrases are what we use to describe a crossroad in our life. We will all be experiencing a crossroad at different stages in our life.

The 7 Year Itch

Have you ever heard the term, “the 7-year itch”? It is a phrase usually used to refer to the time when relationships are most likely to get into trouble. There seems to be a pattern that things tend to change drastically every 7 years. For example, couples who dated for several years usually end breaking up on the 7th year; married couples end up divorcing on the 7th year, and so on.

This pattern not only applies to relationships but also to larger groups of people such as in business, as well as in our individual journey through life. If you review your life, you will see that things tend to change every 7 years as well. At 7 years old, you go to school with other kids, then at 14 is when puberty hits you. At 21, you graduate from college and enter the work force; then at 28 is when people mostly start thinking about marriage.

In short, life tends to change drastically in some way every 7 years. Thus, you feel an itch to change something in your life every 7 years too. If you don’t change something, then you get stuck in that crossroad and you’ll just prolong your suffering by not relieving that itch to transform your life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you are in a crossroad in your life right now; here are some questions to ask yourself so you can start making some changes.

What aspect in your life do you want to improve on? Maybe there is an area of your life that you have neglected and that you need to focus on. It might be your health or some of your relationships. You might have a hobby that you want to take up again and hone your skills on. Or you might want to ask for a promotion or even make a career change.

What is it that you really hope to achieve? Most of us are too shy to admit it but we all hope to leave something behind for our family, or even the whole world, to enjoy and remember us by. No matter how small or big; everyone wants to leave a legacy that can benefit future generations. You might share the same vision with others and you can work together to build such a legacy.

What are the pros and cons of your decision? Decisions always have its pros and cons. You can consult your friends and family as well as experts for help. Your own life experience will also help you make an informed decision. Take the time to think and determine how much of a risk you are willing to take to change your life for the better.

What are you afraid of? Sometimes the scariest decisions end up the most rewarding. When we face our fears, we open ourselves up to more possibilities. Being in a crossroad gives you the chance to overcome your fears and come out a better person. Get the support of your family and friends, or even professionals, to help you succeed.

What is your instinct telling you? Have you ever experienced having a strong feeling in your gut that’s telling you to do or not do something? If you followed it, you usually end up being right. However, most people ignore their gut feeling, or instinct, or intuition. In fact, it is a useful tool to guide you in making life-changing decisions. A crossroad is an opportunity to start using it.

Will you be harming/offending other people with your decision? We always consider the effects of our decisions on other people. However, you have to keep in mind that you can only control your own actions. You can tell others about your decision so they don’t get surprised later on, but you cannot control their own reactions. There is no need to get into an argument or cut off relationships; you can just agree to disagree on this one point.

Are you worried about what other people will think? You cannot please everyone all the time, so you just have to accept that there will always be negative feedback from some quarters. Don’t take things too personally. Just keep in mind that those who need to understand your decisions will understand and those who can’t understand don’t need to. Focus on your goal and don’t get distracted by gossip or rumors.

How will the change affect your life? You are trying to change your life so focus on the long-term change that this will bring about. Ideally, the effect should be positive and will also affect those around you positively. Of course, you can’t please everyone but if you and the majority of your tribe can enjoy the effects of the changes you are making in your own life; then that should be reason enough to make a change.

Time for Transformation

Asking yourself these questions involves a lot of self-reflection. Pick the one question that resonates with you the most and try to figure out your answer to that. Although you do need to take into account how the change you want to do will affect everyone around you; remember that your own growth is important so you can help others as well. Each of us has our own journey in life so we cannot continue living our life according to the standards of others. Expect that in the process of your metamorphosis; some things will fall away and others will come to replace it. You might need to let go of a lot of things including letting go of friendships and old beliefs.

A crossroad in life is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. If you are feeling the need to scratch that 7-year itch; do so but be gentle with yourself. Change is needed for growth. However, you don’t need to abandon all that you have worked for in the past. Sometimes, a small change will do the trick. For others, a bigger change maybe needed. It all depends on what you are feeling inclined to do. The important thing is that you listen to your intuition, you believe in yourself, and you take action to change something so you are not stuck in the same old pattern.

Watch the video and get the worksheet to get more insights.
Feature Image: Original Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash.

Nov

2020

Believe in Yourself

Reading Time: 2 minutes

You are special. You have gifts and talents that are uniquely yours. All you need to do is to believe in yourself. Know that you are enough and that you have what it takes to be successful. Just let go of your fears and self-doubt. Be confident.

No matter how stressful the situation you are in right now, believe that you can overcome this challenge. You need to have faith in your own capabilities. Be strong!

Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
– Christian D. Larson

Your Goals

Start by redefining your goals. What may be working before may no longer work today. Then, do one small step a day towards your goals. Do this consistently over time.

Simple daily disciplines – little productive actions, repeated consistently over time – add up to the difference between failure and success.
– Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge

Stumbling Blocks

If you fail, it is okay. You can rise back up again. After all, failure is part of success. The most successful people persevered. They were able to rise above their circumstances. If others can do it, why can’t you? Learn the lessons and move on.

There will be people around who are going to make you doubt yourself. However, it is up to you if you are going to let them influence how you see yourself. Before letting their words and actions hurt you, it is best to ask yourself first who are these people? What are their intentions? Do they have your best interests at heart? Where are they coming from? You should learn to identify the toxic people that you should avoid. Do not allow their negative remarks to occupy your mind. Do not let them affect how you see yourself.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

If you know your self-worth, no amount of negative words or situations can make you feel inferior. Remember, the choice is yours and yours alone. You gave the consent. You allowed them to make you feel small and miserable. Don’t let it happen again.

Love Yourself

Learn to trust and love yourself. Believe in your infinite potential. You can do it!

Edited version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 03.27.2019

Oct

2020

How to Adapt to the Digital World

Reading Time: 2 minutes

The world is moving at a rapid pace towards digitalization. Sooner or later, we will be living in a world of paperless existence and our smart phones will take the place of our credit cards and paper money. Businesses are trying to automate. People of all ages, are trying hard to familiarize themselves with technology. Gone were the days were you have to wait for the bills in your mail. With all these changes, how to adapt to the digital world?

Digital Transformation

What is digital transformation? Digital transformation is the use of technology in all areas of the business. With digital transformation, you are not only changing the business processes. You are also changing the status quo. It is a cultural change that will ultimately alter the habits of people. For instance, in the new normal, employees will be working remotely from home. There will be restrictions in in-person contacts and interactions. As the businesses change, people will also begin to change.

Although the world is already going towards digital transformation, the pandemic accelerated the process. If business owners will not adapt soon, their businesses might suffer. As businesses begin to digitize, people are forced to adapt and learn new technology, applications and processes.

Tips on How To Adapt to the Digital World

Here are some tips on how to adapt to the digital world:

1. Be Open to Change

If you think the world will go back to how it was before COVID-19, think again. We are in a whole new world. There is no going back. So, stop resisting. Learn to let go. Be open to change. Be open to new experiences.

2. Learn Technology

It will be difficult to live life in the new normal without learning technology. Technology is a mainstay in the contemporary world. It is already a part of our world from banking, medicine, retailing, and communications.

3. Upgrade Knowledge and Skills

As more and more business processes become automated, jobs that used to be done by humans will now be done by robots. So, it is best to upgrade your knowledge and skills, In order to remain competitive, basic knowledge on technical and digital know-how is now a basic requirement.

4. Invest in Technology

Technology is now a necessity. As employees begin to work at home, children also began online learning. Technology is now needed to work, study, earn, pay your bills, and communicate with others. Thus, it is important to invest in gadgets such as computers, smart phones including the internet.

Feature Image from Pixabay

Oct

2020

A Whole New World

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Whether we like it or not, the world has changed. We just woke up one day in 2020 and there is a whole new world out there waiting for us. We can no longer go back to how we used to live before the pandemic. Even with the development of the vaccine, Covid-19 will not just ‘magically’ go away. It is now part of our world and our environment. And it is going to be here with us for a long time.

Point of No Return

We already came to a point where we can no longer change the environment. At this point, no amount of lockdown, no matter how long can prevent the spread of the virus. What it can do is just to help slow the spread. If we can no longer change the outside, what is left is for us is to do is to change our way of life. We need to learn to co-exist with the virus.

It will be difficult to adapt to the new norma l if we continue to look at things the same way. We need to change the way we see things and try to look at it from a different angle.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
-Wayne Dyer

A New Fantastic Point of View

Remember Aladdin? When he took Princess Jasmine out for that magic carpet ride, he showed the princess, a whole new world. Well, technically it is still the same world. Aladdin just wanted to show Princess Jasmine to take a look at the world differently and see it from a new fantastic point of view.

With all the changes happening, you are still you. You are greater than your current situation. Trust and believe in yourself. There is a silver lining out of all this. After all, success comes if you learn to how to overcome challenges in life. You just need to start looking at things differently.

Video Credit: DisneyMusicVEVO

Are you up to the challenge?

Feature Image Photo by Johannes Plenio from Pexels

Sep

2020

How to Help the Elderly Cope up with the Pandemic

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Covid-19 pandemic has affected the global population in more ways than one. Those who got infected have different reactions. The effect can be as normal as a regular cough and colds for some. Others don’t even manifest any symptoms. But it can also be lethal especially to those who have underlying illnesses. The chance of getting severe illness from the viruses increases with age. This means seniors are more at risk if infected. Thus, in order to flatten the curve, many countries resorted to protecting the vulnerable especially the seniors by keeping them in isolation. Although such tactic is effective, it leads to a devastating effect on the mental health of seniors. Studies indicate that social isolation of more than 10 days can lead to depression and anxiety. But this can be prevented through the help of family and close friends. it is important to learn how to help the elderly cope up with the pandemic to ensure that they remain mentally and emotionally healthy during this time.

The chance of getting severe illness from Covid-19 increases with age.
mage Credit: CDC

Putting seniors in isolation increases loneliness. Loneliness in turn can lead to physical and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, dementia, high blood pressure and other health risks. In order to prevent this, the first step is to know if your elders are suffering from loneliness. Symptoms include:

Sadness
Loss of interest in hobbies
Feeling always tired
Unexplained aches and pains on body
Tendency to binge-watch
Sleep problems
Spending too much time on social media
Gaining weight

What You Can Do To Help Seniors Cope Up with the Pandemic

If you are seeing these symptoms, it’s a definite sign that the pandemic is already affecting the elder’s mental health. Here are some ways on how you can help the elderly cope up with the pandemic.

1. Teach Seniors to Use Technology

It’s never too late to learn something new. Technology is the key to living in the new normal. Their life will improve immensely if they can discover the world of technology. In order to teach them the use of technology, do remember to be patient. Explain the value of technology and what it has to offer. Do bear in mind that most words that are common to us like internet, wifi, app, facebook, facetime, twitter, youtube, skype and all similar words do not mean anything to them. So you have to take it slow. Avoid information overload. Don’t be too harsh if they cannot get it the first time. Again, the key here is patience.

2.Take Them to Adventures Online

Once you feel that they are already familiar and comfortable using their gadget, send them to online adventures. Teach them how to discover videos, how to keep in touch with friends, how to learn online, read books, watch concerts and more. If you live together, make it a shared experience. You can talk about what she discovered. You can also watch videos with them.

3. Allot Regular Time Each Day.

Allot a specific time everyday with your elders. Make the time exactly the same each day. For example, you can have tea with them every 4 o’clock in the afternoon. You can play chess, watch movies or simply talk. If you don’t live in the same house, you can call them at at the exact time everyday. Doing this on a regular basis makes them anticipate this ‘together’ time with you. This will give them something to look forward to each day.

4. Make Them Listen to Music

Music therapy is one of the treatments used by clinical psychologists for mental conditions. Music addresses the cognitive, physical, emotional and social needs of individuals. Some certain sound frequencies help the body relax and put the mind in a state of calmness. It is said to remove insomnia, anxiety, depression and other ailments.

5. Practice Social Distancing Not Isolation

if you are living with them, always bear in mind that you need to protect them. The only way that you can do that is to keep yourself well and do every precautions to keep yourself well like boosting your immune system, wearing or masks when you go outside and getting the habit of regularly washing your hands. If you have been going outside, make sure to practice social distancing at home. Social distancing is not isolation. Give your elder freedom to walk around the house as he/she normally does but protect and respect her space. Don’t lock your elder in one room. it’s keeping them safe but not making them feel imprisoned or deprived.

6. Give Them a Project to Work On

Keep them busy. Give them a project to work on. It can be organizing old photos or writing down or her/his signature recipes. It can even be writing a journal to document his/her life.

Feature Image by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Jun

2020

The Wind Beneath Your Wings

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Our lives are always undergoing change. Change always brings with it some stress and discomfort. After all, change entails that we adapt to new things, new people, new situations. It puts us in a place where we have to go out of our comfort zones. Unless we learn to adapt, we will always be uncomfortable with the changes around us.

When things change, the more you resist, the harder it will be for you. It’s because when things around you change; you need to change yourself too in order to adapt. On the other hand, if you want things around you to change; you need to transform yourself first.

There will be times when the wind beneath your wings blows as a hurricane. That is not time for self pity. It is time to be thankful that you learned how to fly.
— Patti Dawn Swanson, Sierra

In order to change, you will need not only your internal motivation but also external resources to help you succeed. You might need to learn a new skill, seek the help of a mentor or coach, read books, take an online course or watch video tutorials to acquire new skills and knowledge. These are important components that will help you soar into your transformation. They are like the wind beneath your wings that will help keep you afloat amidst the storms in your life so you can come out better than you were before.

Imagine change as a wave of ups and downs that you have to go through in life. Most of us will initially change this downward motion. These are the times when we feel down and even directionless. We often feel anxious and full of worries. It’s times like this when we think that our fears are becoming reality. The present seems out of our control and the future looks bleak and even scary.

Change is like a test or a series of tests. Each test you overcome will help you become the person you want to be so you can live the life you want. Instead of resisting change, recognize that it is an opportunity to better yourself and level up your life. When you take the time and effort to allow for your own transformation; you will find that the world is transformed as well.

Feature Image: Original Image by jakov zadro from Pixabay.