Is something bothering you? Are you in pain? Do you have a hard time moving on from bad experiences from the past? Is there someone that harmed you that you need to forgive? Are you having a hard time letting go? If you answered yes to all of these, then it means that you are in a state wherein you are overwhelmed by feelings of bitterness, pain, anger or even revenge. If this is how you feel right now, then it is time to set yourself free through forgiveness.
What is Forgiveness
Psychologists define forgiveness as a deliberate effort to release negative feelings of resentment or anger to someone who has harmed you in the past. The act of forgiveness is not about the other person but it’s about you. To forgive someone means you are releasing yourself from the pain of the past and letting go. A person cannot harm you unless you allow it. Through forgiveness, you are no longer letting the other person have power over you. So, you are freeing yourself from the chains that bind you together. You are also releasing any karmic connection with that person.
Forgive But Never Forget
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened. It just means that you no longer allow the pain to control your life. You are setting yourself free from all the negative emotions that you kept bottled up inside you. It is a way of loving yourself more. But it does not mean that you will allow the same thing to happen again. Thus, you are not to forget what happened. Forgetting means you who have not learned your lesson. If you don’t learn your lesson, life has a way of allowing the same event to repeat itself. And before you know it, the same person will hurt you again and again.
What Forgiveness Will Do To You
Forgiveness can contribute to your overall wellness in more ways than one.
- You can now move on and start anew. You won’t be bringing in the pain from the past to your new relationships. Thus, you will be opening yourself to healthier and happier relationships moving forward.
- Being so wrapped up in the pain will stop you from enjoying the now and your life in general. Happiness is all about finding joy in the little things in life.
- As stated earlier, through forgiveness, you are no longer allowing the other person to have power over you. Thus, you are setting yourself free from the pain and from that person.
What If The Other Person Does Not Change
Forgiveness is never about the other person. It is all about you. Whether the other person changed or not is not your concern. You are forgiving someone because you love yourself and you want to free yourself from the bondage of negative emotions and connections.
What If I Can’t Forgive
Forgiveness is never an easy thing to do. Just know that forgiveness is a process. It is not a one time thing. The important thing is that you are willing to forgive. Again, keep in mind that you forgive not for the other person but for yourself. Also, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. It is always a case to case basis. Sometimes, reconciliation might not be appropriate.
Love yourself. Set yourself free through forgiveness.