Last November of 2018, Ariana Grande’s single, “Thank U, Next” broke records when the single became the most streamed song with almost 50 million streams in the first week of its release. The song garnered much attention because the singer publicly revealed her past. In the song, Ariana said that each time a relationship ends, she felt pain but at the same time she is grateful because of the lessons that she learned from each one. She knows that all those past experiences will help her somehow with her future relationships. She is now a better person and a stronger one at that because of what she had to go through. More than simply controversial and entertaining, the song has a valuable lesson. That is, how to not get stuck in the past.
Bad things do happen in life. Things don’t always come our way whether it is our career, business, health, family, love or relationships. It can be very painful especially if we did our very best to make it work. Some people get stuck and allow the hurt from past experiences to continue to hurt them. However, not moving on can only succeed in jeopardizing future happiness. After whether we like it or not, life goes on.
Here are some tips on how to not get stuck in the past:
1.Learn from the Past
Have you ever wondered why we have to take up History in school? That is because history gives valuable lessons. Learning from past mistakes will allow us to grow and not repeat the same mistake over again. Even the COVID-19 pandemic has lessons that we can apply to make our lives better. Learn the lesson, no matter how painful so that you can start to move on.
2.Be Grateful
Yes, it is possible to be grateful even in tough times. Be grateful for the experience. It may sound cliche but challenges are blessings in disguise. Whatever it is that you had to go through was really meant for you to grow and become a better person. Moreover, by being grateful you are shifting your focus from the negative to the positive. A positive attitude can help ease the burden that you are carrying.
Thank you, next.
– Ariana Grande
3. Forgive Those Who Wronged You
When you forgive someone, it does not mean that you are condoning the wrong things. It does not mean forgetting and reconciling with the other person.What it simply means is that you are now releasing and freeing yourself from the anger, resentment, guilt and other negative emotions. This will do wonders to your emotional state and general well-being. The act of forgiveness does not only pertain to other people but also yourself. You need to learn to forgive and love yourself.
4. Make Clear Goals
You will forever be stuck in the past unless you are very clear on what you want and where you want to go. Start by redesigning your life through a bucket list.
5. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Did you know that success happens outside of your comfort zone? Your comfort zone is your safe place. Since you are comfortable in that place, there is really no room for growth because there is no need to. Stepping outside of your comfort zone means doing new things that you are not comfortable with. You will need to learn new skills and adapt to a changing environment but there will be transition and growth in the process. It is similar to a caterpillar undergoing metamorphosis. Don’t remain a caterpillar all your life. Find your genius zone and be a beautiful butterfly.
6. Remove Toxic People From Your Life
Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with? Your thoughts, beliefs and actions are highly influenced by the people around you. Thus, it is important to choose the people you spend most of your time with. Remove negative people from your life. Spend time with positive and supportive individuals instead.
7. Believe in Yourself
Fear is crippling. It can hold you back in life. That is why it is important to learn how to overcome fear. Conquer your fears by trusting yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust that you can do great things.
In short, allow yourself to feel the pain then move on. Don’t dwell on it. Get yourself ready for the next adventure.
Updated version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 11.17.2018
Photo by Rodolfo Clix from Pexels