H.J. Rangas

Mar

2020

How to Make SMART Goals

Reading Time: 4 minutes

We are constantly dreaming and making wishes for what we want our future to be like but most of us procrastinate when it comes to actually writing down our plan for how to achieve our goals. We all know where we want to go but we don’t have a plan on how to get there. This causes us a lot of anxiety in our everyday lives. More often, we see the prize but we are not prepared for what it takes to achieve it. Having a vision is not enough. You need to know how to make SMART goals to complement your vision.

In order for us to lessen the anxiety and worries that plague us about our future, it is necessary that we come up with a plan that will give us a structure and provide guidepost to follow so we can track our progress. A vision board serves as a reminder of where you want to be but you need a plan on how to get there. One of the best methods to do this is to make S.M.A.R.T. goals.

What are S.M.A.R.T. Goals?

S.M.A.R.T. goals allow you to define what steps you need to achieve your goals and allows you to measure your progress as you advance thru each step of the plan. This acronym stands for the following aspects of goal setting:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely / Tangible

According to Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Allen Lakein said, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.”, and Napoleon Hill said, “Plan your work and work your plan.” So let’s start planning the S.M.A.R.T. way.

SPECIFIC

Create a specific goal statement. A goal stated in general terms will seem difficult or even impossible to accomplish so make sure that you make your goal statement specific. Your goal statement should answer the following questions:

Who is involved?
What do I want to accomplish?
Where will this happen/be implemented? – This may not always apply especially for personal goals.
When should this happen/be implemented?
Which things are needed? – These are the requirements and the current limitations.
Why should I achieve this? – Your reason for the purpose and/or benefits of accomplishing the goal.

As an example, a general goal would be “I want to get physically fit.” A more specific goal would be “I want to lose 15lbs by November 15 by working out at home 3-4 times a week so I can look and feel better as well as gain more confidence in social gatherings.”

Another example is if your general goal is to get out of debt, a specific goal is “I will pay an extra P2,000 a month to my credit card bill for 12 months.”

MEASURABLE

Create the specific steps that you will do to achieve your goals but make sure they are measurable so you know that you are making progress. This also means that if you see that you are not making progress doing a particular step, then you can change that specific part of the plan.

Your measurable steps should answer questions such as how much, how many and how will I know when it is accomplished.

Include specific amounts, measurements and dates so you can better track and monitor your progress each step of the way.

For example, a measurable step for the physical fitness goal would be to “exercise 30 minutes a day, 3-4 times a week”, “eat 6 small meals through out the day”, as well as “to lose approximately 2lbs per week.”

ATTAINABLE

Set attainable goals. Weight the efforts you need to make to achieve the goal. Do you have the time to make the effort? Are you willing to make that much effort in the amount of time you have defined? Make sure that the goal you set for yourself is acceptable to you personally otherwise you will only lose confidence in trying to accomplish it.

However, do make your goals challenging and avoid goals that are too easy. Set a goal that you can attain but will allow you to move forward in you plan.

As an example, maybe you would really like to go to the gym for a workout but there’s not one near your home and you need to travel early to get to work on time; you also can’t afford the extra gym fee. A more attainable option is to start your plan by buying some affordable gym equipment such as dumb bells and just work out at home instead.

REALISTIC

Make sure that the goals you set are realistic otherwise you may give up in the middle of the process. If you have financial or physical issues for example, take that into consideration as you make your goals. Try to focus on baby steps and give yourself an adequate amount of time to accomplish each step in your plan.

For example you are earning ten thousand pesos a month (P10,000). A goal to save nine thousand pesos (P9,000) a month is not realistic. In loosing weight, loosing 2lbs a week is an attainable goal compared to losing 5lbs a week. A realistic goal is more more motivating than setting the bar too high and not be able to achieve it at all.

Do your research first to make sure that what you are setting for yourself is realistically and humanly possible and break it into smaller goals if necessary. You can also ask yourself if you have achieved something similar to your goal in the past. If you have, then that is a good way to tell that your goal is realistic.

Set a realistic target but make sure it’s also challenging to you and not too easy.

TIMELY / TANGIBLE

Your goals should be timely. You should give yourself an adequate time frame to complete each step of the plan and achieve your goals. As in the goal statement example above, you should set yourself a deadline for when you should have achieved the goal.

Your goals should also be tangible, meaning you can measure the actual progress made or the exact difference from the “before” situation compared to the “after.” In short, you can experience everything with your senses to measure the progress you are making and should be making.

A timely goals allows you to know when you can give up on a step if it fails to produce results and when to begin the next step in the plan. It also allows you to know when you can celebrate a completed milestone in your plan.

So, what are you waiting for? Get a piece of pen and paper. Look at your vision board and start writing down SMART goals on how you can slowly attain the life depicted in your vision board. Do bear in mind though that it is not going to be easy. There will be a lot of challenges ahead but there is a way to how to make your journey a lot easier.

First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 03.22.2019
Original Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Mar

2020

Tips to Stop Procrastinating

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Many of us have had the experience of not being able to start on a task or project, or not wanting to. We find many excuses to delay doing what we need to do. Writers call this the “writer’s block”, others call this phase being “uninspired” or “unmotivated” and those who don’t understand may just attribute it to laziness. Whatever the reasons, here are some tips to unblock you from this unproductive phase and stop procrastinating.

Try out some of these strategies to combat procrastination or laziness whenever it hits you.

1. Make a List and Prioritize

If you can’t start doing what you need to do for a project or deliverable, get pen and paper and list down what it is you’re supposed to do. Keep in mind to just write the bare minimal; be short and concise. Number what needs to be done first so you can focus on finishing that task first. You can fill out the details once you start working on the task; and that’s the next thing you’re supposed to do after completing your list.

Sometimes, we just need to unclutter our brains to be able to focus on what we should be doing. Writing down what you want to do and sorting out what really needs to be done first helps us refocus our attention and prevents our brain from getting distracted with unnecessary worries.

2. Try New Things

A tried and tested method, such as writing your To Do’s, might not work. During these times, you can try out new methods to hep you cope. For example, instead of writing down your list, maybe doodle them or get a colleague and tell them about your tasks through a story. Give yourself a time frame though so you don’t spend all your time on your new method.

Similar to writing things down, your goal is to get your brain to focus on what needs to be done and trying out a new method will also help get your creativity flowing.

3. Teach Others

Some people learn best when they have to teach others. Of course, you already know what you’re supposed to do but if you can’t focus, then ask a colleague or friend to help you out by acting as your pupil or apprentice and learning something in return.

Teach them how they are supposed to do things if they were the one who needed to do what you should be doing. They don’t need to do what you teach, they just need to listen. The purpose of this method is to help you reframe your perspective on why you should be doing what you’re not doing yet.

By teaching others, you are able to form new ideas to help you do the task at hand. It also jumpstarts your creativity as you need to find a way to convey the information in a way that will be easy to understand.

4. Make Work Into Play

Make a game out of your To Do’s. Every time you accomplish a task, think of the rewards or benefits. Maybe getting off work on time and getting home early enough to watch a movie online. Or getting off from work early enough to get dinner at your favourite food joint.

You can also, reward yourself with small things like a piece of your favourite chocolate for each task completed, or promise yourself a more decadent slice of chocolate cake at your favourite cafe for completing everything on your To Do list.

We all know rewards are a great motivator but be sure to not ruin your budget just to curb your procrastination.

5. Do Something Else

There are tough times when procrastination hits us so hard that we can’t seem to do anything about it. During those times, don’t force yourself and do something else instead. Follow the tenet “Love what you do or leave.”

Get up and make yourself a cup of coffee or go out and order yourself that coffee. Do some stretching exercises while seated on your chair; walk around the block or start working on something else that you’ve put off for a while like a side project or something a colleague asked you for help with.

Walking away from a situation, or in this case a state of mind, helps you reframe the situation and see it with clearer eyes when you get back to it. It may also inspire some new ideas on how to tackle your To Do list more efficiently and effectively.

Remember, there are no short cuts to success. The key is to do the work consistently. But you should give yourself a break when your brain or mood is not cooperating. These tips should help you get back on track.

However, if you find yourself procrastinating more often than usual on a particular project or task, then you may need to examine why you always “feel not up to doing it” and end up procrastinating instead.

Always remember, your future begins today so stop procrastinating. Start acting now.

Updated Version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 01.25.2019
Original Photo by Pedro da Silva on Unsplash

Feb

2020

Fundamentals for Success from The Winners Manual

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Do you consider yourself a winner in life? If you’re not that confident to answer “Yes” to this question, then you may be struggling with some issues in different areas in your life. There is no one rule book that we can consult on how to succeed in life and this is because each person’s experience is different. However, there are some fundamentals for success that we can apply to get better in each area of our life, so that when we look back, we can say that we’ve had more wins than losses.

Jim Tressel is an Ohio State football coach and through the years he has learned a lot of life lessons from working with different people on the team, from the players to the staff. The nuggets of wisdom he gained from his experience is shared in the book The Winners Manual: For the Game of Life.

The book is given to everyone on the team and even if the lessons are gained mostly from his experience coaching a football team, the lessons are applicable even to regular 9-5 workers trying to be “adults” in dealing with life’s hurdles.

First, Jim wants everyone to focus on 2 major goal areas:

Your Purpose

This includes your personal/family, spiritual/moral and caring/giving aspects of your life.

Many people often grow up defining themselves by what they do (e.g., their job title) and in the process of pursuing success in their career, they end up forgetting who they are. If you cannot find or define your life’s purpose, then you will never find success or happiness, and never feel like a true winner in life even if you achieve your goals.

Your Goals

This includes matters pertaining to strength/fitness, family, academics/education and career.

Whatever your specific goals, you must view this in the context of your entire life and should be aligned with your life’s purpose. It is hard to get motivated if you don’t have a purpose.

Your purpose is your inspiration and your goals are your motivation. However, there is a huge difference between the two. While inspiration helps you think and create, motivation gets you moving to make things happen.

Spend some time to think about your purpose and goals. It helps to write things down and when you are ready, you can study how to apply Jim’s 10 fundamental for success to win at life.

1. Attitude

There are 3 types of people: 1) those who make things happen, 2) those who watch things happen, and 3) those who say: “What happened?”.

Attitude is a choice so you need to choose which one you are going to be each day. You can choose to live your life as a celebration or as a chore. An attitude of gratitude is one of the best attitudes to adapt as it is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time.

If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies within yourself.
– Tecumseh

TIP: Keep a gratitude journal. Each day, write down at least 3 things that you are grateful for. Count your blessings daily and you will notice that you will have more things to be grateful for as each day passes.

2. Discipline

Discipline is often seen negatively – as punishment for bad behavior, when in reality, it is something that is helpful to us. Discipline prepares us and keeps us focused on our goals.

You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days that you feel good.
– Jerry West

TIP: Remember that practice makes perfect. Do it right, do it hard and then do it again. When it’s time to practice, focus on the practice. You should be confident enough in your skills and be tough enough to follow through.

Whether you are practicing a sport or trying to write a novel, it’s the discipline to constantly show up and do the work that allows you to correct your mistakes, polish your moves so you can deliver and perform perfectly whenever you need to.

3. Excellence

Strive to deliver excellence each time. In competitive sports, it isn’t good to be good from time to time. You need to deliver a good performance every day in order to be considered great

If you listen to your fears, you will die not knowing what a great person you might have been.
– Robert H. Schuller

TIP: Consistency is the true test of greatness. It takes discipline (constant practice) to turn a violinist into a master, a student into an expert, you get the drift?

More importantly, our intentions have a great impact in determining how we reach our potential. So your intent to be excellent should be reflected in your performance. Your number one intention is to seek excellence in all phases of your life.

4. Faith and Belief

All champions believed in themselves even if no one else did and that’s how they motivated themselves to become great; and that’s how they ended up inspiring others in return.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

TIP: It helps to write down your dreams. Unless you write down your dream or vision, you can’t start planning how to achieve it.

So write down your dreams, describe it, make a collage out of it and make sure to consult it everyday as a constant reminder of why you are working hard each day. More importantly, don’t be the first one to doubt yourself when your plans don’t go the way you wanted to. Instead, focus on finding a solution.

5. Work

Work is a lifelong pursuit so you better do it passionately. Not everyone can love their work but with a good work ethic, you will increase your opportunities to gain success.

Everyone has a plan until they are hit.
– Evander Holyfield

TIP: Persistent effort is key to success. You only fail when you quit. Remember that failing is an event; failure is a temporary status and you can always turn it around as soon as you succeed. So don’t be put down by obstacles and see them as opportunities to better yourself instead.

6. Handling Adversity and Success

The road to greatness is never easy but if we face our struggles with an attitude of learning, then the adversity we experience can become our stepping stones to success.

Success is a lousy teacher. It makes smart people think they can’t lose.
– Bill Gates

TIP: Embrace the struggles as much as the successes. Your struggles should help you build strength of character, and this is what can elevate your good performance into greatness. Handle adversity as a learning experience and learn from your success as well. Both are opportunities to improve yourself and fine tune your plans to reach your goals.

7. Love

You won’t win in life thru talent alone. Just like in winning championships, you need love and discipline. If everyone in the team loves one another, then they will strive to not let one another down. This works in any relationship, be it you and your partner, your whole family, your friends and even work mates.

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: what are you doing for others?
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

TIP: Do not hesitate to help others succeed. When you help someone else succeed, you get closer to your own success.

How you treat others who can do nothing for you is how you show your love towards your fellow man. In your own relationships, you can only survive tough times by being tough yourself and the only way to do that is to give and receive love from those around you.

8. Responsibility

There are different areas in your life where your individual conduct is not just attributed to your own self but reflects on a larger group of people such as your family or the organization that you work for. So take care to be responsible in all your actions as you may also affect the reputation of other people.

The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.
– Japanese Proverb

TIP: Associate yourself with good people. By good people, we mean people who have a “do what’s right” mentality. These are the people who will help you conduct yourself responsibly in the different areas in your life. They will be the people who will push you to live a life with a clear conscience.

9. Team

Although your own life purpose and goals is yours alone, most of our life endeavors is a group journey. That’s why unselfishness and team work are important qualities to succeed in life.

There is no delight in owning anything unshared.
– Seneca

TIP: Be in service to others. Unselfishness is one of the greatest quality of great teams as this enables each person to work for the good of the greater whole. This means that each person is willing to listen to others and in this way each one is able to influence the others positively.

10. Hope

Have realistic hope both for your goals and for your team (family, friends, etc.). It is ok to indulge in wishful thinking once in a while but unless you put your faith to work, you will not achieve success.

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
– Orison Marden

TIP: Be a dealer of hope. When people around you are losing hope, they become susceptible to criticism and their own doubts. Lead by example and show them that hope is still alive. It may not be in the form you initially “hoped” for but it may take form in another opportunity disguised as an obstacle. When you keep hope alive, you will see good things happen in your life and in the people around you.

Do you think you can apply these rules to the different areas of your life? If you have been practicing some of them, or all of them, tell us how it has helped you achieve success in the different phases in your life.

Original Photo by Razvan Chisu on Unsplash

Feb

2020

Road Trip to Atimonan, Quezon

Reading Time: 10 minutes

We all want a vacation now and then to be able to relax and re-energize. However, our busy lives just doesn’t allow for a luxurious getaway. Us girls also wanted to go on a vacation but our schedules never seem to match. We always had something to do on weekends. But we were all determined and constantly excited to discuss our plans for a weekend getaway. Finally, we settled on just going on a short but fun road trip to a small resort in Atimonan, Quezon.

DISCLOSURE: This post contains affiliate links.  We earn a small incentive at no additional cost to you when you follow the link to make a purchase.  This will help us be able to continue creating valuable content for you.

It was a 6-hour ride, far enough from the city but still near enough not to exhaust us from the travel time. Picking a date to go was tricky at first. But our determination and positive thinking paid off because a couple of days before the weekend, all our schedules synced. So, we met early morning, on a weekend, (despite some mishaps and a sleepless night of packing our bags) for our quick adventure. It was a very quick one indeed. And it was all worth it as we came back with more than just fun memories of our trip.

The essence of pleasure is spontaneity.
– Germaine Greer

The Journey

The 6-hour road trip to Atimonan, Quezon didn’t feel tiring at all as we started early in the morning to avoid traffic. Our goal for this road trip was to relax and have fun. We always thought of this trip as an adventure; so we were all on an adventurous mood as we tried out alternate routes around the area when we did encounter traffic.

One of us volunteered to drive and borrowed her boyfriend’s car for the trip as well. Aside from admiring the sight of green trees, the mountains in the distance and endless fields of green with cows and horses grazing or shading themselves under the trees, we also had a playlist to accompany us. Of course, we had lots to talk about too so we never got bored during the trip.

One of the most fun we had was when we were going thru the zigzag road. Since the road had steep turns, people are stationed at these sharp corners to manage traffic. They signal drivers to stop when there are oncoming cars from the opposite lane to avoid accidents. They also wore colourful shirts and had colourful flags for good visibility. As a sign of thanks, drivers throw out coins as they pass by. So we prepared our own coins and gave some to them at every turn until we ran out of coins. We were especially fond of the grandmother who was sitting at one of the stations.

Courage and the willingness to just go for it, whether it is a conversation or a spontaneous trip or trying new things that are scary – it is a really attractive quality.
– Alanis Morissette

The Resort

Since it was a quick road trip to Atimonan, Quezon, we didn’t really have time to go to all the tourist spots but we did visit a few ones near the resort where we stayed. The Playa de Lucia Resort which was a newly developed facility. Some parts of it was still under construction at the time and they had a swimming pool. However, we were more interested in getting some vitamin sea so we let the kids enjoy their pool time.

Resort signage at the entrance to the pool area.

When we finally checked into our room, the first thing we did was rest for a bit on the comfortable beds. While our companions took a nap, two of us went around to scout the area, check out the beach and of course, take pictures.

The scene at the resort’s pool area from our 2nd floor terrace.

The Pier

We took everything at a slow pace so we set aside swimming for the next day. For the rest of the afternoon, a friend who lived in the area took us around to some interesting spots. First off, we went to Coco – an old pier which was a trading port back in the day. Though it now has cracks and holes, the structure still looks solid and locals and tourists alike visit the place for a relaxing view of the sea. Of course we had to take pictures and it was especially beautiful during sunset.

View of Coco – the old pier, from the side.

This was halfway to the end of the old pier; a long walk from the beach.

View of the ocean from the edge of the old pier.

The pier extended from the beach far out into the sea. It was this part where the floor of the pier had broken down and through the break, you could look into the deep, blue waters. Approaching the break and looking into the water was exciting and scary at the same time. The water’s deep blue color made it seem mysterious, as though mermaids could be swimming underneath the waves, or sea creatures could suddenly rise up and snatch you.

The golden glow of the sun lends the whole place a nostalgic feel. | Source: Pinky

The beautiful view makes the mysterious waters less scary. | Source: Pinky

View of the deep, blue sea from the edge of the broken portion of the old pier. | Source: Pinky

A fisherman casting his nets near the old pier.

A good view of the massive structure from the beach front.

We didn’t go near the edge to avoid accidentally drowning in the deep waters. The calm waters helped us to relax and just enjoy the view. The walk to the end of the port and back to the beach was quite long but the view all around was a welcome respite from the daily scenery in the city.

The Lonely Mermaid

Our next destination was a lone piece of rock, or boulder which just seemed to be attached beside the road and right behind it, a sculpture of a lonely mermaid atop a smaller rock. See a theme here? The rock seemed to be impossibly suspended since it looked like it had a smaller base; which would make it all the more mysterious but we were too afraid to go down and check.

A lonely mermaid was there and you can walk up to the monument thru cement steps from the side of the road. We didn’t want to risk losing our footing on the slippery steps, so we contented ourselves with a picture of both the rock and the lonely mermaid. Both these lonely structures were by the highway and the backdrop of the beautiful blue of the sky and the ocean behind them made the whole scene beautiful to look at.

Scenery around the resort at dusk. | Source: Pinky

The sky changing color as night approaches. | Source: Pinky

The Dinner

It was getting dark at this point so we opted to go back to the resort and prepare for dinner. We had agreed to wear the dresses we could never wear for work during this vacation, and dinner was the perfect excuse to do so. I had prepared hair clips that we could wear as accessories for this very occasion and so off we went to dinner at a nearby restaurant (who’s name I can’t remember) which was also near the sea.

The restaurant was large and though it was dark outside, we could hear the sound of the waves and feel the cool breeze from the sea. There weren’t too many people around so the place felt quiet and we were chatting in low voices so as not to interrupt the relaxing atmosphere. This made eating the dishes enjoyable but it also made us very sleepy after we ate our full.

So after dinner, we wen’t back to our room but we didn’t sleep. We spent the time chatting about our issues in life and figuring out our futures until late into the night. It was one of the most honest, deepest conversations and profound self-reflections that I have had in a long time. Being honest with one’s feelings and getting advise without being judged is such a freeing experience and I am thankful for the experience with these girls. As the night wore on, sleep finally got to us and we agreed to take an early morning swim so we could be back on the road before lunch.

The Beach

The next day, we went down to the beach in our swimsuits. We were met at the hotel entrance by Lucio, the owner’s dog who was named after his late wife Lucia (which is also the name of the resort). Lucio walked with us to the beach. We could hear him splashing in the water as we meditated at sunrise while grounding ourselves in the sand. He didn’t go too deep into the water though although we encouraged him. Instead, he was sunning himself by the beach as though he was guarding us and our belongings.

It’s not the first time I saw a beach with calm waters but in the mornings, the water is usually cold. Here however, the water was warm and inviting and because there were hardly any waves, we could enjoy just submerging ourselves neck-deep in the water without salt spray stinging our eyes.

We dreamed of our own beach property where we could enjoy this view.

We mostly floated around to bask in the early sunshine. It seemed as if we owned the whole place because we were the only ones on the beach at this time. Since the sun wasn’t scorching hot at this time of day, we didn’t even put on sunscreen. The whole world seemed peaceful and serene at the time. No buzz from city traffic disrupted our thoughts and the gentle sound of the water and warm sea breeze was calming to our senses. In such surroundings, it was possible to let go of one’s worries and just enjoy the present moment.

The sun was getting warmer and so after a couple of hours, we went back to our room. Lucio also walked with us back to the resort entrance and headed to his usual sleeping spot. We could feel how relaxed he was as we had been relaxed too due to the slow pace of activities we had been enjoying since we arrived.

The Journey Back Home

Before lunch time, we hit the road as we are nearing the end of our road trip to Atimonan, Quezon. We passed by the same zigzag road but this time around, we stopped by the souvenir center. The shop sells local delicacies and crafts. My companions got themselves some honey. I bought some turmeric powder and a woven bag.

One of the most memorable sceneries that greet you and the one you say goodbye to when taking a vacation in the province. | Source: Pinky

Our next stop after this was for lunch along the way, where we also got more souvenirs. After a few more hours, we could tell just by the state of the traffic that we were nearing Metro Manila. We were back in the city again but we feel refreshed and revived. Our short vacation made us feel more ready to face the usual daily grind the next day.

The Experience

We did not visit many tourist spots during this road trip to Atimonan, Quezon because our goal was to slow down our pace and enjoy relaxing activities instead. We all agreed to repeat this experience. Just go somewhere to relax, not worry about tourist spots and itineraries. We just want to be with nature, enjoy the sights and sounds without hurrying back to and from each destination.

We may not remember the names of the places we’ve been to but our senses will always remember the rest and quiet that we experienced together. Two days is a short time to get to know each other better. But somehow we have a deeper understanding of each other’s personalities just from the conversations we had that night and from the jokes and anecdotes we shared with each other throughout the trip. We may not see each other again soon, but we know that we will always have a connection. And we will always be looking forward to our next adventure together.

Still hesitating to go on that trip? I hope this mini-adventure of ours, our road trip to Atimonan, Quezon gets you motivated to plan for your own weekend getaway. Tell us about your best travel adventures and your favorite travel moments.

P.S. Yes, we took a lot of pictures of the scenery around us. Maybe why we only got to visit a few spots. They’re something to look back again to when we are stressed out and we want to remember some of our happy moments.

Updated Version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 08.14.2019
Photos are from author and travel buddies.

Feb

2020

Rules to Follow When Abroad

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Traveling to new places is a rewarding experience. Traveling also helps you grow as a person. However, you need to remember that just like in your home country, there are rules to follow when abroad. Your trip will be a more rewarding adventure if you try to follow certain travel etiquettes that would make locals appreciate your enthusiasm for their country and culture.

Don’t be that tourist who the locals would rather not be involved with. If you notice that locals don’t seem to be welcoming when you ask for directions, or any kind of aid, maybe you are making them uncomfortable in some way. You might even be disrespecting their culture or breaking some rules already and don’t even know it.

Here are some travel rules to keep in mind to ensure that you not only have a memorable travel experience but leave behind pleasant memories for the locals you encounter too.

1. Learn about your destination

Aside from planning out your itinerary, make sure to learn about the local culture, history and traditions. You might come across interesting trivia that are unique to that culture or locality. You can use this information as a conversation starter to interact with the locals.

Your interest in their culture might endear you to the locals you approach. You might even make great friends.

2. Learn basic conversational lingo + practices

One of the things you should learn is how to converse with the locals for basic information. Learn how to say “Thank you”, “Hi”, “Please” and “Goodbye”. Also learn to ask questions for finding a restaurant, your hotel, how to get to a bus terminal, etc. and don’t expect everyone to understand English.

While you’re at it, learn how the locals greet each other. In some nations, shaking hands is the norm while in others a bow or a kiss on the cheek is expected. This way, you won’t be surprised yourself (or feel offended) when a local greets you with a gesture you’re not used to.

Learn other important customs such as tipping in restaurants. In some countries, there is a customary percentage for how much to tip while in other countries, doing so is considered rude.

3. Don’t forget you’re just a visitor

When you go to another country, you are essentially a visitor and the locals are your host. So, just as you don’t want to interrupt your host’s regular activities; don’t expect local folks to make way for you in daily situations such as in public transport or in ticketing lines to a local amusement park for example, just because you are obviously a foreigner visiting their country.

Also, follow the rules in the places you are visiting. Rules exists for a reason and you may not need understand why but the locals do. Remember that ignorance is not an excuse to break the rules. So be aware of certain prohibitions in the places you will visit and follow them, not only as a form of respect to the locals but also to avoid landing yourself in jail.

Be friendly and respect the people and their rules and practices as you would in your own country. Locals would rather engage with a courteous and respectful stranger than someone they feel is demanding and disrespectful.

4. Dress accordingly

Part of respecting the local culture is to observe proper dress codes in the places you’re going to. If your itinerary includes going to a church or temple, dress accordingly. Don’t show up in shorts and a sleeveless shirt and expect to be accommodated. Similarly, if you’re going to a museum, make sure to wear something not too casual and don’t wear slippers.

Don’t be an obvious tourist by wearing sneakers all the time. If you’re not doing a lot of walking and hiking anyway, leave the rubber shoes at your hotel and wear comfortable day shoes that will still be appropriate when going into a local restaurant or a church.

Avoid wearing fanny packs (belt bags) as you might just attract pickpockets. Wear a cross-body bag instead. Also, try not to hang your camera on your neck at all times. Stash it inside your bag after taking pictures.

5. Be mindful When taking pictures

Aside from standing out like a sore thumb when you’re carrying a selfie stick around, you might also be disrupting locals on their way to their own destinations. Take a selfie using a selfie stick only when and where appropriate. Don’t disrupt foot traffic for example. Find a less busy spot instead. In places where elbow room is scarce, just use your mobile phone instead.

Also, selfie sticks might not be welcome in some museums and in other places, a camera flash might not be allowed either. So mind the rules and the situation when taking pictures so you don’t end up disrupting other people, breaking the rules or worse, damaging your camera equipment.

If taking pictures is not allowed, then respect the rule and just enjoy the experience. It’s better to take back great memories of your trip than a blurry picture that you took in secret, anyway.

6. Avoid comparing and/or constantly complaining

You travel to a new place to experience new things so be open to the new experience instead of comparing it to what you’re familiar with and complaining about it. Just because their traditional coffee doesn’t suit your taste buds doesn’t mean their coffee is inferior to what your country produces.

Learn to appreciate what’s different and try to understand why it’s different based on the local culture. It can be an interesting conversation starter that will allow you to learn even more about the local culture and practices.

If you have a controversial point or a strong opinion about certain topics like politics or religion, keep it to yourself. Discuss them privately with your travel buddies and don’t voice them out in public places. Locals might be sensitive to these topics and you might end up offending everyone who hears your opinions on these topics.

7. Be a nice human being

No matter in what country you go to, be a nice human being by respecting the place where other human beings live. Keep these in mind wherever you go:

Only bargain where appropriate. Don’t haggle for a bargain to the point that you embarrass and/or get into a fight (verbal or otherwise) with the local seller. Understand that some of these sellers depend on tourists buying their items to earn their livelihood. So as much as possible, don’t haggle too much. Especially if local artisans themselves are selling their hand-made crafts, pay your respects for their time and effort by buying their items at a reasonable price.

Follow the same consideration when it comes to booking local residents as travel guides, renting boatmen and their boats, etc.

Don’t leave behind your trash. Whether on the beach, on a mountain trail or in your hotel room; don’t litter. Dispose of your trash appropriately. Not only will the local residents appreciate you, the environment will benefit too.

Observing travel etiquette is an important part of your travel experience. By observing these rules, you can be a well-mannered tourist that locals will welcome in any country you visit.

Original photo by Alicia Steels on Unsplash

Feb

2020

Make Better Decisions with The 10/10/10 Rule

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Our daily lives are composed many opportunities to make decisions big and small, in all areas of our lives. Some decisions have immediate effects and some have long-lasting effects and consequences, as in some cases. There are some life rules that can aid us in making decisions in life, one of which is the 10/10/10 Rule. Try make better decisions with the 10/10/10 Rule.

This is one of the non-negotiable experiences that we all have to go through in life. Whether it’s in a pleasant or stressful context, the decision-making process is an important step to make so we can move forward to our next step or stage in life.

You cannot make progress without making decisions.
– Jim Rohn

The stress from decision-making usually comes from having to make a decision that is in conflict with our feelings at the moment, which is usually the result of a decision not being aligned with certain priorities or goals that we want to achieve. So how do we make the decision-making process easier and more effective?

Some of the harshest decisions that individuals need to make involve and affect the lives of many people. Top executives in big companies have to make such tough decisions regularly. So how do they do it? Wealthy people like Warren Buffet follow the 10/10/10 rule to make smart decisions.

The 10/10/10 Rule

The rule is simple. Each time you have to make an important decision, ask yourself these questions:

How will I feel about my decision in 10 minutes? 10 months? 10 years?

This method allows you to examine your feelings about the decision you are about to make. If you feel that the decision you are about to make will result in you having negative feelings (e.g., regret, guilt, etc.) later on, or if it doesn’t align with your priorities, then you know that you are making the wrong decision or that you need to make some changes to the solution that you are considering.

This method allows you to look further into the possible consequences of your decisions and enables you to assess the situation in a long-term perspective. As you ask yourself these questions, you may find out that you have a more important priority than what you are looking at in the moment, or you may find a better solution (and make a better decision) to the issue you are facing.

Happiness can be defined as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually.
– Dr. Stephen Covey

This rule works with small, daily decisions as well, such as whether you should give in to an impulsive purchase that you happen to find during a sale in a mall. Try it and see how it works for you.

Original photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash.

Feb

2020

When and How to Apologize Properly

Reading Time: 3 minutes

When a word or phrase is said and heard over and over again, it’s meaning gradually fades away. A prime example is the phrase “I am sorry” or “I’m sorry”. Whenever we do something that we think might offend or inconvenience another person, we quickly blurt out these words. But when the situation is not so simple and feelings and even persons are physically hurt, saying the same phrase is often ineffective. So, when and how to apologize properly?

There is a better and proper way to apologize so that the sincerity of your words are conveyed and we should practice these steps more often. Knowing when. and how to apologize properly is one life rule that everyone should know and practice.

An apology should contain 2 components: it should show remorse for your actions and acknowledge the hurt that you caused the other person because of your actions. The main goal of an apology is to rebuild the trust that was temporarily lost due to your actions while mending the hurt in the process.

So how do you apologize properly?

1.Express Your Remorse

You always start with “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” as these words express remorse over your actions. However, don’t end it there. Follow that with an honest assessment of how you feel to convey your sincerity. For example, you can say: “I apologize for shouting at you so suddenly. I feel embarrassed by how I acted just now.“

Make sure to apologize as soon as you realize your actions; otherwise your apology will loose its sincerity.

2. Admit Your Responsibility

Acknowledge what you did and admit responsibility for your actions or behavior. Don’t make assumptions about the other person’s feelings but try to empathize with them by putting yourself in their shoes and express how that might have felt for them.

For example, you can say: “I know that I hurt your feelings when I shouted at you and I’m sure that it embarrassed you since everyone was there. It was wrong of me to do that to you.“

3. Make Your Amends

Making amends means taking action to correct your mistake to make things right. Offer to do something for the person to make them feel better and to correct the situation. Be sure not to make empty promises though as this will only worsen the situation.

You can offer to make up for the situation by saying: “If there’s anything I can do to make this up to you, please ask.” Or offer more specific action such as: “I realize that I am in the wrong so please provide us more details about your suggestion earlier.”

4. Promise Not To Do It Again

The last step in your apology is to make a promise not to repeat the action or your behavior. This step is important as it gives the other person the reassurance that they can trust you again and repair your relationship with them.

For example: “I promise I’ll listen to what you have to say first before I draw conclusions. You can also call me out on this if I do it again.”

In order to make an effective apology, remember that you need to be honest with yourself. Try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective and don’t offer excuses. Don’t expect immediate forgiveness either but continue showing your sincerity through your actions.

Try these steps next time you need to apologize. As long as you’re sincere about it, you should be able to regain the trust of your friend and improve your relationship with them.

Minor edits in this version. First published in Pinoy Smart Living on 05.30.2019
Original image by freestocks-photos from Pixabay

Feb

2020

Items You Must Have in Your Closet

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Do you know what you’re wearing tomorrow? Did you previously plan what you were wearing today? If you’re one of those who already has their whole week’s outfit planned out according to your schedule, then you are one of the lucky few and we envy you. You should start learning more about the psychology of dressing and how to dress for success. However, most mortals wake up every morning not having a plan of what to wear and usually waste precious time rummaging through their closets and cabinets to put together an outfit for the day. Doing this daily can become tiresome and in the long run, quite stressful. To avoid this scenario every morning, a simple solution is to go back to the basics. There are just a few items you must have in your closet. With fewer choices to go thru, picking an outfit is faster and easier.

If you already have a closet-full of clothes but you still look at your closet every morning thinking you don’t have anything to wear, then a little decluttering and a new perspective on what you should have in your closet should refresh your style senses.

Or if you are trying to overhaul your fashion style, then these basics are a good way to start. These basic items can be mixed and matched for a casual to a semi-formal look or amped up for a formal event. Later on, you can add to this collection to come up with a wardrobe that expresses your very own personal style.

First, decide on a color palette. A basic tip is to have a neutral, a darker and a lighter color in your wardrobe which complement each other so that they can mix-and-match easily.

1. T-Shirt

A classic t-shirt is a good foundation for most attires. T-shirts can be round-necked, v-necked, loose or body-fitting. Pick the style that you are most comfortable with. Get one with a solid color that you can wear every day or one that goes well with the color palette you want for your wardrobe. Having a white, grey and black t-shirt in your wardrobe can give you several options.

2. Jeans

Jeans are a fashion must-have. They can be used for many different occasions depending on the tops and accessories you pair them with and with proper care, they can last you a long time. Pick a pair of jeans in a dark or light color. Make sure that they fit you well because you will find yourself wearing them most of the time.

3. Button-up Shirt

A button-up shirt comes in a variety of styles and colors. You can choose from plaid, chambray or even a denim one in a light fabric. You can use this shirt alone tucked into your pants or as a layer over your t-shirt for colder seasons.

4. Blazer

To amp up your attire, for a client meeting for example, then go business-casual by putting on a blazer on top of your t-shirt or button-up shirt and your jeans. You can even use the same attire to attend a wedding.

5. Jacket

A versatile jacket can take your outfit from basic to casual in a jiffy and its pretty useful when the weather gets extra cold. Choose a style that goes well with your daily activities. There’s denim, leather, military-style, etc.

6. Shoes

A good pair of shoes is essential to complete your outfit. For women, a pair of flats, comfortable heels or ankle boots can be used from errands to office. For men, a pair of dark-colored loafers, a classic oxford or brogues, or ankle boots can also take you from a simple date to a business meeting.

7. Statement Jewelry

To put some punch to your outfit, accessorize with statement jewelry. The easiest one to go for is a wristwatch. Pick one in a classic design so that it compliments any of your attire combinations. If you have the budget, you can also go for a luxury watch because it serves as an investment too.

For women, a pair of pearl earrings or a chunky necklace are also great ways to accessorise and are great for all occasions. These days, both men and women can also make a fashion statement with a uniquely designed bracelet or a ring.

These are some basic fashion items that should make up your wardrobe. For more variety to your outfits, here are some items that you can add to your clothing options.

For Women

Dress
A little black or white dress, or one in another color, is a basic clothing item that you can wear on many different occasions. Choose a knee-length dress or go for a maxi dress for more flair to your outfit. You can wear it as is for a party or a day out. You can top it with a blazer for formal occasions or top it with a jacket for the colder seasons.

Skirt
A skirt is a great way to exchange for your jeans if you want to go for a more feminine look. Just be sure that it is comfortable enough for you to wear all day and that the length is just right for you to be able to enjoy your daily activities.

For Men

Polo Shirt
On occasions that you don’t want to be too casual with a t-shirt but you don’t want to look too formal with a blazer or you just don’t want to bother with a button-up, then a polo shirt is just the right thing to put on. It can go well with your jeans, and it can also look good with a blazer or jacket for colder months.

Neck Tie
For more formal events, a neck tie can take your jeans and blazer ensemble to a more formal level. Grab one or two on your next shopping schedule for more mix-and-match variety.

Day Bag

Finally, every man and woman should have a day bag which can carry your all-day essentials whether you’re running an errand, braving the traffic or attending a conference. This is different from your laptop bag. If you can, try investing on a designer handbag. Some luxury handbags can be a great form of investment too. Moreover, your bag can also serve as your statement piece.

Most women will carry their make-up and toiletry essentials in their bag and most men may think that they don’t need one and that their wallet carries all their essentials. However, a handy bag can be used to carry your electronics with you, such as your chargers as well as work stuff like your notebook and pens, a book for some reading, and maybe an extra box of tissue or wet wipes or a handkerchief for occasions when you might need one.

First published on Pinoy Smart Living 08.28.2018
Original photo by Artificial Photography on Unsplash

Feb

2020

Rules to A Happy Life

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Living a happy life seems like a simple goal but in reality, the journey is quite complicated. Depending on where you are in life; you will have a different set of rules that you follow to you can achieve your goals.

Everyone has their own path to happiness but these 7 rules to a happy life can help you along the way.

1. Be Grateful

Whatever life brings you, it pays to be grateful. Recognize that each experience, each situation that you are put in and each person that you encounter pushes you to the right direction.

It may be in the form of support for what you need to pursue your goals or by teaching you a life lesson that you need in order for you to progress to your next step. A positive experience is just as important as a negative experience to enable you to grow and prepare you for the next stage of your life.

2. Stay True to Yourself

Sometimes, we forget our own goals and dreams because we are programmed to conform to what other people’s standards have of us. We compare ourselves with others and want to imitate their kind of success; forgetting that each person has their own form of happiness, their own measure of success.

There is no one path to happiness or success. Stop comparing yourself to other people’s standards and stay true to yourself. Do what you feel is right to fulfill your own definition of happiness or success.

3. Don’t Lose Your Inner Child

“Adulting” is a popular term that we throw around to describe our daily struggles as grown ups. We feel overwhelmed with adult responsibilities that we don’t make time to “play” as it is not an adult thing to do. However, neglecting time for play depletes us of our creativity and may cause us to burn out at work.

Make time to indulge your playful inner child. Give in to your curiosity; ask about something you are curious about instead of suppressing it so you don’t annoy someone. From time to time, try out new things just because it’s exciting or fun and not because you need it for work.

If you have a passion project that involves harnessing your creative side, pursue it and make time for it even if it doesn’t contribute to your current job. You will be surprised how nurturing your inner child can help you grow as an adult.

4. Appreciate the Moment

Have you stopped and smelled the flowers lately? Have you gone out of your way to just stare at a beautiful sunset until it vanishes from view? If not, then now is a good time to start learning how to appreciate the moment.

Appreciating the moment helps you become more observant of the things around you and being grateful for them. It also makes it easier to notice the good things in any situation, place, thing or even person. This means that you shouldn’t hold yourself back from appreciating someone else and be honest about your praise or admiration.

If you have the urge to just bask in the sunshine in the middle of your walk to your office building, give in and enjoy the feeling of warmth revitalizing your whole body. Just remember to look for a safe spot first and don’t suddenly do it in the middle of the street.

5. Share Your Blessings

When you share your blessings you are blessed in return. Blessings don’t have to be just financial in form. Giving someone your time and effort is a form of sharing. Listening to someone vent out their issues is a form of sharing as well.

Financially, you may not have a big amount in your budget for this but the important thing is to share what you are able. So make sure that you include a “Give” or “Gifting” or “Tithe” portion in your budget. Small acts like giving a tip to a restaurant or a salon staff goes a long way.

6. Avoid the Drama

We see drama all the time on TV and in films that we have grown to expect the same situations in real life. We hear different kind of real-life dramas from the news and even from friends and relatives but we all know that these situations are never pleasant and don’t usually have a happy ending. So how do you avoid all the drama?

Focusing on the positive side of things and being grateful will be helpful in these situations. Staying away from people who bring drama into your life is one of the best ways to keep your good vibes all the time.

Of course, if you can’t help but be involved in drama, don’t forget to take a deep breathe and try to keep a level head and analyze the situation from a practical point of view instead of just reacting to your emotions. This way, you can focus on solutions instead of drowning in all the negative details.

7. Learn to Forgive

In order to make it easier for you to follow the rules outlined above, you must learn to forgive. Forgiving yourself first is the first step to accepting yourself and self-acceptance enables you to move on to the next step to become better.

Forgive yourself for your flaws and wrong decisions in the past. Forgive yourself for breaking a promise or indulging in that food treat that’s not supposed to be part of your diet. The important thing is to pick-up yourself again and continue where you left of or start over if needed.

It also important to learn to forgive others. If you carry grudges with you, it will be hard to be grateful. You won’t be able to appreciate the moment or other people; you won’t be able to indulge in fun times and you certainly won’t feel inclined to share your blessings whole heartedly.

Carrying grudges around certainly puts you in a situation that attracts constant drama and negative vibes. So learn to forgive others. Look at what you can learn from the situation or the person and move on from what happened. Forgiving others does not mean that you need to act like nothing bad happened but it is an opportunity to not dwell on the drama anymore and move forward.

Original photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Jan

2020

5 Tips on How to Get A New Wardrobe

Reading Time: 4 minutes

If your closet is crowded because of too many clothes and you’re not wearing most of them, then it’s time to clean out your closet and get a new wardrobe. If you’ve just graduated from college and need clothes to go to work, or you’ve lost weight and your old clothes don’t fit you anymore, or if you just want to look differently to align with your future goals, then a new wardrobe is a good idea.

Here are some tips to get you started on getting a new wardrobe.

1. Review Your Lifestyle

Take a look at your daily schedule and see what activities you often do. Do you exercise daily? Then you need some exercise clothes. Does your office require corporate attire?

Then to dress for success, you will need some tops, bottoms and a blazer or a suit for your daily work. Assess the kind of clothes that you need for daily activities as these will be the items that you will need to invest in first.

Of course, you will need to put in your list some clothes for activities like going out to dinner with friends or for swimming or clothes for the airport if you travel a lot. Consider the types of footwear that you will need to go with each clothing category too.

2. Declutter Your Closet

Now that you have an assessment of what clothes you need to for your lifestyle, it’s time to do the same for your closet. Sort them out according to the different activities that you use them for. Then for each category, decide which ones you can keep for your new wardrobe and which ones to toss, sell or give away.

You will need to be ruthless about deciding which clothes to actually keep and let go of because this is the only way you can make room for new items in your closet. If you want to achieve the lifestyle that you truly want, then you can start by dressing for success. Tailoring your closet staples to your goals is a good first step.

3. Create a Plan

Clearing out your close space should help you declutter your mind as well. Then it’s time to sit down with a pen, paper and a calculator and create a plan.

First, review the clothes you are keeping and list down what clothing items you need to buy in order to complete your ward robe. If you’re aiming for a promotion to girl boss, consider these tips on power dressing must-haves. If you’re just starting out to build your wardrobe, then check if you already have the basic pieces in your closet or check out the must have’s for a man’s wardrobe or a woman’s wardrobe.

Next, you will need to create a budget for the new clothes you will buy. Figure out what each item of clothing costs and how much you will need in total to buy them all. Remember to look for good quality items so that they will last for a long time. Your wardrobe is an investment after all. Then, see how much of your budget you can save for new clothes each month.

4. Go Shopping

Once you’ve figured out your shopping list and your budget, you can set your plan of attack. You can decide to save until you can buy all of the items you need in one go. Or you can buy one to two items each month.

A good tip is to shop in different stores instead of the ones you used to go to. This way, you can see different clothing styles and even sharpen your fashion sense as to what combinations of styles you can do for your own wardrobe. Consider these tips on how to look expensive on a budget.

Remember to buy the ones you need at the moment first and save up on buying the others items that you will need for a later season.

5. Organize Your New Wardrobe

Now that you have new clothes in your closet, it’s time to organize your closet again. This time, display all the clothing items that you will use daily. You can mix and match them or color coordinate them if you want. You can also start pairing them up with the accessories and shoes and bags that you have.

There will be clothes that you won’t use as yet so store them neatly so you that easily take them out when you’re ready to wear them for the next season.

Once you’ve completed your wardrobe staples, then go ahead and enjoy the experience. In the future, if you decide to change your style and create your own, then you will have an easier time in making the transition.

We hope these wardrobe tips help you get ready to work on your goals every day. We would love to hear about your wardrobe transformations too. If you already have a wardrobe , then check out these tips on how to organize your wardrobe.

First published on Pinoy Smart Living 07.27.2019.
Original photo by Alyssa Strohmann on Unsplash.